Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » The FBI has posted billboards looking for the Chameleon Beard Bandit, whose beard apparently changes color based on its surroundings [PSA]

Monday 5 February 23:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Fark ready headline: Woman ordered to trim her bush which grew so big it left neighbours in the dark. Are we still doing phrasing? [Giggity]

Monday 5 February 23:35:02 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Husband to wife during traffic stop: Hide my cocaine in your hoo-ha. K9 officer: Hold my beer [Florida]

Monday 5 February 23:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Sir, you can't park your Lamborghini there [Fail]

Monday 5 February 22:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The cure for baldness has been found in McDonald's french fries [Unlikely]

Monday 5 February 22:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Crazy-ass flat-Earther fails to splat Earth again [Fail]

Monday 5 February 22:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Bank robber who left copy of drivers license at scene looks exactly like Non from Superman 2. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD [Florida]

Monday 5 February 21:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word, and the word is: PANIC (everybody) [News]

Monday 5 February 21:22:26 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » How much it costs to deliver a baby in every state. Cost of changing your name to Rambo Balboa and growing a beard? $0 [Interesting]

Monday 5 February 21:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these carts on cables [Photoshop]

Monday 5 February 21:00:01 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » There's losing your playbook, and then there's losing your Super Bowl Anti-Terrorism playbook [Facepalm]

Monday 5 February 20:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » A whole bunch of butt naked people will be taking over Times Square (again) this weekend [Giggity]

Monday 5 February 19:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » San Diegans will have to find a new source for bull penis tacos [Misc]

Monday 5 February 19:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Snowfall of the century in Moscow: People unable to find their cars as they go outside in the morning [Cool]

Monday 5 February 19:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Investigators say deadly Amtrak crash was preventable, possibly by taking the bus instead [Followup]

Monday 5 February 18:35:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » They're illegal immigrants. They destroy landscaping, keep people awake, and poop everywhere. And some, we assume, are good chickens [Florida]

Monday 5 February 18:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » ← Free rat [Sick]

Monday 5 February 18:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. No, really, this is the "world's most dangerous ice cream," so you will definitely scream [Scary]

Monday 5 February 17:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Theme park changing the name of 'Rebel Yell' roller coaster over Confederate sensitivities. While some might say this goes too far, others cried more, more, more [Strange]

Monday 5 February 17:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Doctors warn of *another virus that feels just like the flu [Sick]

Monday 5 February 17:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » You might not believe this, but seagulls are really a raging bunch of assholes [Amusing]

Monday 5 February 17:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Woman has a pretty solid who-farted-y'all mugshot after throwing a shelf at her boyfriend over who'd win the Super Bowl [Florida]

Monday 5 February 16:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Getting rid of 'lunch shaming' at schools will cost the school districts money [Obvious]

Monday 5 February 16:35:03 UTC 2018

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Futility Closet » “A Little Saga of Self-Denial”

Monday 5 February 16:31:07 UTC 2018

Hold on to your seats, boys. This one gets complicated. It seems that on Aug. 12, 1940, there occurred an automobile collision at Forty-second avenue S. and Forty-second street. A car driven by Leo R. Johnson, Hopkins, and owned by Frank M. Anderson, 2912 Sixteenth avenue S., was in collision with one driven by Francis D. Hall, 3413 E. Minnehaha … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pop quiz: Florida Man wearing only pink boxers and handcuffs asks you for a smoke. What do you do? [Florida]

Monday 5 February 16:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Dangerous criminal has been in jail for more than 250 days and his bail was set at $350,000 for…stealing $5 and a bottle of cologne [Stupid]

Monday 5 February 16:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Scarlet fever cases reach highest levels since the 1960s. Mumps, polio, smallpox, anti-vaxxers unavailable for comment [Interesting]

Monday 5 February 15:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » High school senior donates kidney to her grandfather after she turns 18. "Watching papa just be on the transplant list for the past six years has been super hard. We've always been really close" [Hero]

Monday 5 February 15:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » If you're stealing peach brandy from the Pick 'n Save you might want to reconsider some of those life choices [Facepalm]

Monday 5 February 15:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Yet more proof that no good deed goes unpunished in America [Asinine]

Monday 5 February 15:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » 10:36 p.m. "We need somebody at Broad and Walnut, southwest corner. People on the pole." 10:40 p.m. "I got about 2,000 college students coming from Walnut Street to 30th to Center City." 10:46 p.m. "It's endless, chief. Endles

Monday 5 February 14:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Coffee urn left near Manhattan courthouse by caterers for television show "Law & Order: SVU" caused brief scare after it was mistaken for a suspicious package. DON DUNN (TFA is slightly longer than headline) [Amusing]

Monday 5 February 14:16:29 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Scientists torment lonely bird with cruel prank [Sad]

Monday 5 February 14:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop something else into the lunar eclipse [Photoshop]

Monday 5 February 14:00:01 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Switzerland halts bus with a little snow on the roof … 1.6 tons [Facepalm]

Monday 5 February 13:57:41 UTC 2018

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Weird Universe » Robert F. Kennedy Bubble Gum Cards

Monday 5 February 13:36:59 UTC 2018

After the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy in June, 1968, the Philadelphia Chewing Gum Corp. rushed out with a commemmorative, 55-card set of RFK bubble gum cards. It presented "the story of Robert F. Kennedy… with bubble gum."

Kids must have been rushing out to get these.

The cards seem to have appreciated reasonably well in price. Individual cards now … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Viet-nom [Scary]

Monday 5 February 12:05:04 UTC 2018

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Weird Universe » Super-Greater New York

Monday 5 February 11:55:00 UTC 2018

We can still do this. A nice walk to the Statue of Liberty on Landfill Manhattan.

Source of document. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Man drinks 25 cans of Monster and Red Bull. More news: He suffers a brain hemorrhage. Fark: He demands that all energy drinks be banned [Dumbass]

Monday 5 February 11:31:37 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Execute a downed fighter pilot after he parachutes to the ground? That's a cruise missilin' [News]

Monday 5 February 10:44:43 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Meth and cheese burritos [Sick]

Monday 5 February 9:12:28 UTC 2018

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GraphJam » Don't Forget to Change Your Margins

Monday 5 February 8:48:15 UTC 2018

papers Pie Chart pie charts school writing - 4622984960 Oh, and make the periods a bigger font size. Graph by: AncroKT Tagged: papers , Pie Chart , pie charts , school , writing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things Said Just Prior to an Accident

Monday 5 February 8:48:12 UTC 2018

accidents beer cars driving god hold on hurt save watch out youtube - 2226494208 Graph by: ten-eight-cious Tagged: accidents , beer , cars , driving , god , hold on , hurt , save , watch out , youtube Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh, the Memories

Monday 5 February 8:48:08 UTC 2018

cleaning nostalgia memories room Pie Chart - 7001222912 Graph by: zigguratmat Tagged: cleaning , nostalgia , memories , room , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things a guy does when he meets a hot girl

Monday 5 February 8:48:05 UTC 2018

ask Bar Graph current flirt girl girlfriend guy hot ignore meet number talk text - 2809297664 Graph by: ranger2009 Tagged: ask , Bar Graph , current , flirt , girl , girlfriend , guy , hot , ignore , meet , number , talk , text Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Study

Monday 5 February 8:48:02 UTC 2018

90s learning remember Sesame Street Songs study venn diagram - 2293405952 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: 90s , learning , remember , Sesame Street , Songs , study , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eagles fans celebrated the Super Bowl win by performing random acts of kindness around the city. Just kidding. They started fires, flipped cars, and tried to scale up light poles [Facepalm]

Monday 5 February 8:20:50 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » How obscene are concession prices at this year's Super Bowl? A can of Bud Light will set you back $15, but for only $9 more, you get a slice of pizza too [Asinine]

Monday 5 February 7:48:34 UTC 2018

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Futility Closet » Note

Monday 5 February 7:00:11 UTC 2018

(Due to a family emergency, we’ve had to postpone the next episode of the Futility Closet podcast. We expect Episode 188 to come out next Monday, February 12.) [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Horse startled by umbrella goes berserk near Central Park, crashes into cars and injures 3 people [News]

Monday 5 February 6:20:37 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Fear not, America – the FBI will be looking into the Trump situation with the same urgency and competence they brought to the Nassar investigDAMMITSOMUCH [Facepalm]

Monday 5 February 5:26:37 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Demand for a "Barbie vagina" has risen by almost 50%…..so have almost all the men that clicked the link [Amusing]

Monday 5 February 4:00:36 UTC 2018

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons