John Gordon Ross

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » A vulture named Harold shocked sanctuary staff, who thought for 20 years the bird was male, when 'he' laid an egg. NTTAWWT [Interesting]

Friday 26 January 23:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Madman sets new World Record for walking barefoot on 120-ft of LEGOs [Stupid]

Friday 26 January 23:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » There's brooding over your ex enjoying their holiday with a new spouse, and then there's claiming they kidnapped the kids in a bid to harass them [Dumbass]

Friday 26 January 22:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Only in Britain can a fight break out over a breakfast buffet about a queue and a toaster [Strange]

Friday 26 January 22:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Good news, everybody. That decomposed human foot discovered in a Virginia backyard is not actually a human foot, but a bear paw. So if you're a bear missing your paw, the authorities would like to talk to you [Interesting]

Friday 26 January 22:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Volunteers hit the streets for the annual Homeless Count, which is kind of like an Easter Egg Hunt but with more used needles [Interesting]

Friday 26 January 21:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Delivery man dropping off Whataburger confronted by sign reading "Do not ring doorbell. Shhhh Sleeping Baby Baby will wake & we'll get annoyed. Sh*t will get real" [Awkward]

Friday 26 January 21:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Coast Guard stops 47,000 pounds of cocaine from coming into US, which is approximately $721M worth or enough to power the cast of Stranger Things for most of an episode [Interesting]

Friday 26 January 21:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Paris zoo closes after 52 baboons escape. Authorities trying to catch them before they have a chance to vote on healthcare reform [Scary]

Friday 26 January 21:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this forest visit [Photoshop]

Friday 26 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Sovereign citizen not bound by U.S. laws may still be bound to Newton's [Scary]

Friday 26 January 20:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » It's not crazy cat ladies' fault that they're so crazy: "It's a parasite in cat feces. It's all science." Linked to rage, schizophrenia, impulsivity, and compulsive posting of pictures on-line [PSA]

Friday 26 January 20:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Someone's a little confused about how old millennials actually are [Obvious]

Friday 26 January 20:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Casino Billionaire and RNC Finance Chair Steve Wynn paid a manicurist 7.5 million dollars to keep quiet about his sexual demands and actions. Prepare for Donald Trump to start bragging about his obvious superiority in buying silence for less [Creepy]

Friday 26 January 20:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Another reason why we can't have nice parties: 46 tons of Mardi Gras beads contribute to New Orleans' constant flooding problem [Weird]

Friday 26 January 19:50:05 UTC 2018

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Futility Closet » More Odd Fiction

Friday 26 January 19:46:39 UTC 2018

Peter Carey’s True History of the Kelly Gang contains no commas. (“I lost my own father at 12 yr. of age and know what it is to be raised on lies and silences my dear daughter you are presently too young to understand a word I write but this history is for you and will contain no single lie may … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Holy Grail has been FOUND. Well, alright, A "Holy Grail", which is to say a "universal" flu vaccine that is effective against most strains of flu and therefore can be manufactured in mass quantities and stockpiled. WAY better than

Friday 26 January 19:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Donkey leads herd of goats and sheep in escape from farm. Says he was trying to get back home to his ogre friend and dragon wife [Amusing]

Friday 26 January 19:05:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » 14-year-old kid threatens to harm classmates, so as a precautionary measure, they search his room and find a semiautomatic rifle, shotgun, two lever-action rifles, machetes, throwing knives, a revolver, and a crossbow with arrows. The aristocrats [Sc

Friday 26 January 18:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Special operations team to help with wild turkey infestation. To be fair, a turkey might turn instantly into giblets and gravy if exploded by a claymore [Florida]

Friday 26 January 18:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Dilly dilly [Dumbass]

Friday 26 January 18:26:43 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » ♫ 99 venomous snakes on the wall, 99 venomous snakes, take one down, pass it around, 1 less pastor to preach to them all ♫ [Murica]

Friday 26 January 18:26:42 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Not news: An apartment flooding during a bad storm. Fark: An apartment at the top of a skyscraper flooding during a bad storm [Amusing]

Friday 26 January 18:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Bad: You have to pick up your stolen car at the impound lot. Good: The thief left his pay stub behind on your seat [Dumbass]

Friday 26 January 18:05:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Survey respondents largely don't care that residents of Frisco do not like the moniker San Fran, and they don't like Frisco in San Fran, either. Beats Baghdad by the Bay [Silly]

Friday 26 January 17:56:53 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Kids these days with their pumping pink penis drinking games, it's enough to get you squirted (NSFW) [Weird]

Friday 26 January 17:35:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Today on "Meanwhile, in Russia," a dude goes for a drive down by a river and high fives a passing nuclear powered icebreaker [Cool]

Friday 26 January 16:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Google, is there anyone you can't identify? Jesus Christ [Weird]

Friday 26 January 16:35:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Lost cow found months later with herd of bison. NTTAWWT [Amusing]

Friday 26 January 16:20:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » "An accused heroin dealer is being forced to wear a 'spit shield' at the defendants' table – because he has a history of splattering his attorneys with saliva during court appearances" (with pic) [Amusing]

Friday 26 January 16:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » "Police found that the law firms' receptionist email account received an email … with a notification that a purchase for a $250 Seducer luxury rabbit vibrator and other sex toys were purchased with the stolen credit cards [Giggity]

Friday 26 January 15:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Workplace wellness programs are about as effective as Fark at creating healthy, productive employees [Obvious]

Friday 26 January 14:55:00 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » French jails at "brink of explosion," and it's not even July 14th yet [News]

Friday 26 January 14:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Second woman's body found at Arbuckle property. Odie humanity [Creepy]

Friday 26 January 14:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Earthquake early warning system could alert you 15 seconds before a quake hits, giving you time to finish that HQ trivia question [Cool]

Friday 26 January 14:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop other things you can do with Tide Pods [Photoshop]

Friday 26 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

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Weird Universe » The Egg Wine Diet

Friday 26 January 13:56:37 UTC 2018

It describes itself as the diet for "wine lovers that refuse to give up wine while losing weight." It consists of about 10 eggs a day, and wine.

As the site notes, "Wine only have 600 calories per bottle. So compare that to a normal blt sandwich that has about the same. What would you rather have. The sandwich or … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » French submarine decides it's had enough of the "France Surrenders" jokes. During a training exercise, it scores several torpedo hits and "sinks" the USS Theodore Roosevelt. Where are your Freedom Fries now? [Interesting]

Friday 26 January 13:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » I'm a very important person. I'm above the law. Bodycam goodness [Florida]

Friday 26 January 13:21:10 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Recalculating… recalculating… recalculating… Look, it's half the USAF out for a training exercise… recalculating… recalculating… that must be why GPS will be down over half the US for 3 weeks …recalculating… still recalculating [S

Friday 26 January 13:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Literally there's a bar in NYC's East Village that will ban you for the use of the word 'literally'. Literally [Weird]

Friday 26 January 13:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Man builds a home office out of the brushes from 546 brooms [Weird]

Friday 26 January 12:41:10 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Shoot the hostage? [Murica]

Friday 26 January 11:36:11 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » You're not just a judge. You're a farking judge [Dumbass]

Friday 26 January 11:23:11 UTC 2018

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Weird Universe » Top Forty News, Weather and Sports

Friday 26 January 10:55:00 UTC 2018

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida teenagers getting married. Florida is very dusty this time of year, tag is for all involved [Hero]

Friday 26 January 10:51:10 UTC 2018

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GraphJam » What, Are You Going to Be a Professional Map Reader?

Friday 26 January 10:47:07 UTC 2018

Graph by: Thresholdian_Summer Tagged: college , geography , geology , geometry , major , Pie Chart , what people say when Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Yes, All Dogs Are Green

Friday 26 January 10:47:01 UTC 2018

Graph by: jmoskwa99 Tagged: children , cute , dogs , food , lies , naïve , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fail ALL the Students!

Friday 26 January 10:47:00 UTC 2018

Graph by: slotz13 Tagged: FAIL , Bar Graph , school , tests , math Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Should Cook More!

Friday 26 January 10:46:59 UTC 2018

Graph by: (via buzz feed) Tagged: cooking , flow chart , food , leftovers , pizza Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Need an Idea of What to Get Your Mom for Mother's Day?

Friday 26 January 10:46:58 UTC 2018

Okay, so, if you love your mom, this shouldn't be too hard, right? But what if you don't really get along with your mom, or you don't have much spare cash to spend? You can't just not get her something; she's put up with a lot of gross stuff from you over the years. Don't worry, we've got you covered. … [Link]

GraphJam » Seriously, I Think There Might Be Something Wrong

Friday 26 January 10:46:54 UTC 2018

Graph by: chickenduckthing Tagged: doctor , How People View Me , mole , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Know I Don't Mean It, Right?

Friday 26 January 10:46:53 UTC 2018

Graph by: shadowthornstar Tagged: friends , insults , people , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Trust Me, Ladies Do the Same Thing

Friday 26 January 10:46:52 UTC 2018

Graph by: zharriso Tagged: men , paper towels , ladies , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People who use Nunchucks

Friday 26 January 10:46:49 UTC 2018

Graph by: Nuclear_Chauffeur Tagged: camera , caught , crotch , face , hit , master , nunchucks , people , skillful Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Does a Tree Schitt in the Woods?

Friday 26 January 10:46:48 UTC 2018

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: infographic , puns , schitt , the giving tree , woods Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Like The Importance of Using a Venn Diagram

Friday 26 January 10:46:45 UTC 2018

Submitted by: onFleek (via witanddelight) Tagged: venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Amount of Crayon Used

Friday 26 January 10:46:44 UTC 2018

Graph by: BradtheBS Tagged: Bar Graph , crayons , coloring Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Anatomy of a Facebook Complaint

Friday 26 January 10:46:41 UTC 2018

Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: complaining , facebook , social network , yo dawg Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Places You're Most Likely To See A Zombie

Friday 26 January 10:46:39 UTC 2018

LoL by: Amberwine Tagged: farmhouse , graveyard , likely , mirrors , shopping mall , Starbucks , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Moms Are Totally Expendable

Friday 26 January 10:46:38 UTC 2018

Graph by: HarlequinBones Tagged: Harry Potter , Pie Chart , Sad , survive , voldemort Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Favorite Colors of 3 year old Girls

Friday 26 January 10:46:37 UTC 2018

Graph by: Angelen5 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Roll Your Sleeves Like a Boss in 60 Secronds

Friday 26 January 10:46:33 UTC 2018

Click to read all the details. Submitted by: (via art of manliness) Tagged: fashion , guide , Life Hack , shirt sleeves Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Depends, Is It Minestrone?

Friday 26 January 10:46:30 UTC 2018

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: annoying , Pie Chart , salad , sides , soup , yes please Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Raining? No Way!

Friday 26 January 10:46:29 UTC 2018

Graph by: winniefrinnie711 Tagged: facebook , Pie Chart , raining , status updates , storms Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Never Gonna Give You Up

Friday 26 January 10:46:26 UTC 2018

Graph by: Tagged: Music , Pie Chart , repeat , rick astley , Songs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What I Do When Taking Notes in Class

Friday 26 January 10:46:23 UTC 2018

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: class , doodle , pie graph , handwriting , notes Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy who sent out the warning that Hawaii was going to be obliterated refuses to cooperate with the FCC's investigation [Dumbass]

Friday 26 January 10:38:16 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The French are rioting over: A) Increased taxes, B) Having to work more than 30 hours a week, C) Nutella [Strange]

Friday 26 January 10:13:50 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Cat-car-surfing is apparently legal in Oregon, and at least one cat really likes it [Strange]

Friday 26 January 9:58:11 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » 14-year-old girl assaulted with pineapple and what the fark is wrong with people? [Sick]

Friday 26 January 8:03:10 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The most underrated city in America is…Baltimore. Tag is for *BLAM BLAM* **Sirens wailing** "Red tops" "Red tops" ***Subby OD's*** [Scary]

Friday 26 January 7:45:57 UTC 2018

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Futility Closet » Equality in Death

Friday 26 January 6:17:11 UTC 2018

It is like a play. But when the curtain falls, the one who played the king, and the one who played the beggar, and all the others — they are all quite alike, all one and the same; actors. And when in death the curtain falls on the stage of actuality … then they also are all one; they are … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you gotten your "Survive Nine End Times Predictions, And The Tenth One Is Free" cards punched yet? Better hurry…here we go again [Followup]

Friday 26 January 6:10:49 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Deputy gets 22 charges for molesting kids as young as 6. Convicted on 2, jury hung on 20. Judge dismisses 20 with prejudice, deputy pleads guilty to 2 misdemeanors, pays $1000 fine and gets 0 jail time. I was told there'd be no math [Sick]

Friday 26 January 5:23:59 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Former DOJ prosecutor leaves to join private practice, takes sealed whistleblower lawsuits with him, offers to sell them to targets of investigations, offers to defend them. You're reading this, so you know how well it goes [Awkward]

Friday 26 January 4:35:56 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » If you're driving I-76 around Cleveland today, don't panic about semi-truck on fire as it's only carrying inert grenades, barrel of ammunition, sodium hydroxide. Nothing to worry about at all [Scary]

Friday 26 January 4:07:47 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Texas enduring "one of the worst flu seasons in our history". Buckle up Texans, peak flu season is NEXT month [Scary]

Friday 26 January 3:44:14 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Want a good deal on stripper poles, a coffin and a velociraptor? [Florida]

Friday 26 January 3:41:35 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » $400 for tube socks seems a bit high, until the marijuana "gifts" arrived [Dumbass]

Friday 26 January 3:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Bad: Big Rig crashes on freeway. Good: Free Beer [Fail]

Friday 26 January 3:10:56 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » "What do you think of that, female Barry?" "Pretty good, other Barry" [Cool]

Friday 26 January 2:47:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Those old magazines dad kept hidden in the basement might be worth something: Estate sale promises "adult only room" [Giggity]

Friday 26 January 2:41:37 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Olympic athlete blames doping charges on passionate kissing & Wookiees [Facepalm]

Friday 26 January 2:30:59 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Crack, prostitutes and tats are in big demand at your local retirement community [Giggity]

Friday 26 January 1:59:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Syphilis-ridden mummy dug up in church is relative to Boris Johnson, with uncanny side-by-side photo comparison [Amusing]

Friday 26 January 1:11:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this majestic beast [Photoshop]

Friday 26 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Young man in India couldn't figure out why it was a bad idea to take a selfie with an oncoming train. Then it hit him [Dumbass]

Friday 26 January 0:23:03 UTC 2018

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