John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Old: People fighting in a McDonald's. Florida: Employees pulling guns on each other in McDonald's (w/video) [Florida]

Saturday 13 January 23:13:07 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missouri family: photo shoot done by amateur masquerading as pro made them look like LEGO space aliens. Counterpoint: family might be LEGO space aliens [Amusing]

Saturday 13 January 22:35:54 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: A feature in a car or truck you would like to see [Photoshop]

Saturday 13 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman returns home from vacation to find strange family living in her house. Then Rod Serling begins speaking [Strange]

Saturday 13 January 20:55:42 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennials may be terrible, but they get arrested far less often than their parents did. Lazy underachievers [PSA]

Saturday 13 January 20:48:42 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The TSA would like to remind you that lithium batteries, flammable liquids, and cats should not be put in your checked luggage [Dumbass]

Saturday 13 January 20:35:41 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In praise of the flour tortilla, the most essential component to a good Mexican sandwich [PSA]

Saturday 13 January 20:19:41 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For those Hawaii Farkers who just crapped their pants; it was a false alarm … and you should probably buy new pants [Fail]

Saturday 13 January 19:58:16 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [332 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the Unnecessarily Expensive Food file: $180 tacos. Includes everything you'd expect: truffles, caviar, grasshopper, foie gras, wagyu be–wait, go back one [Stupid]

Saturday 13 January 19:15:41 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's probably legal to record your neighbor's front door [Florida]

Saturday 13 January 17:33:52 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Living next to a church must be great. All those wonderful, god-fearing people around. Very peaceful and happy, right? [Facepalm]

Saturday 13 January 15:58:34 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Upset that you didn't get a souvenir during your recent layover at the Newark Airport? Don't worry, you may have gotten the measles [Sick]

Saturday 13 January 15:40:33 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada is finally making witchcraft legal [Cool]

Saturday 13 January 14:49:37 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this medical doohicky [Photoshop]

Saturday 13 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Buttless Jeans

Saturday 13 January 13:41:07 UTC 2018

The new look in jeans from UK fashion brand The Ragged Priest. Cost: $125. Underwear not included.

More info: Yahoo! Lifestyle

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual article explaining "How to tell if your cat loves you." Considering this is a Cosmopolitan link, it probably involves some weird sexual gymnastics that no one would ever try on Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 13 January 13:00:00 UTC 2018

Caturday [link] [617 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dewise charged with killing Dewife [Sad]

Saturday 13 January 12:23:19 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even CEOs in the food industry will tell you it's pretty much safe to ignore all the expiration dates on your foods [Obvious]

Saturday 13 January 12:09:57 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 20-year-old man wins $450 million jackpot. Future plans include losing it all, going back to McDonald's in a couple of years [Spiffy]

Saturday 13 January 12:05:19 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pineapples. Pineapples PINEAPPLES [Awkward]

Saturday 13 January 11:49:18 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California carpool cheat cited for Chucky Doll [Amusing]

Saturday 13 January 11:31:22 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [19 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Vidiot

Saturday 13 January 10:46:00 UTC 2018

No relevance at all to today's lifestyles.

The artist's Wikipedia page. [Link]

GraphJam » Too Soon, Man

Saturday 13 January 10:23:46 UTC 2018

cedric diggory dead Harry Potter Pie Chart robert pattinson too soon - 5609889024 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cedric diggory , dead , Harry Potter , Pie Chart , robert pattinson , too soon Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Riding The Movember Bandwagon Synergy, For a Cure!

Saturday 13 January 10:23:43 UTC 2018

awareness mustache movember cancer Pie Chart - 7887413760 Graph by: Sharky10 Tagged: awareness , mustache , movember , cancer , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Said The Man, Half-Assed

Saturday 13 January 10:23:42 UTC 2018

butts colons comma period punctuation puns semicolon venn diagram - 4581314560 Graph by: svceliceo Tagged: butts , colons , comma , period , punctuation , puns , semicolon , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If You've Ever Felt Not Quite Good Enough, You Need To Read This

Saturday 13 January 10:23:41 UTC 2018

comparison infographic zen pencils - 7979394560 Submitted by: (via zen pencils) Tagged: comparison , infographic , zen pencils Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fapping at My Chamber Door

Saturday 13 January 10:23:40 UTC 2018

Awkward college faptimes Pie Chart roommate - 5148152320 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Awkward , college , faptimes , Pie Chart , roommate Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh, the Ignorance

Saturday 13 January 10:23:38 UTC 2018

i dont want to live on this planet anymore nasa Line Graph science - 6767892480 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: i dont want to live on this planet anymore , nasa , Line Graph , science Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Speed Of A Stroller With the Beauty of an Ostrich

Saturday 13 January 10:23:37 UTC 2018

ostrich segway speed stroller venn diagram - 5504856320 Graph by: (via Ben Greenman) Tagged: ostrich , segway , speed , stroller , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: The Only Hot Date You'll Be Getting

Saturday 13 January 10:23:36 UTC 2018

classic dating food microwave relationships - 6550187264 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: classic , dating , food , microwave , relationships Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » B-b-b-bird, Bird, Bird, Bird is…

Saturday 13 January 10:23:33 UTC 2018

pie charts the word bird graphs funny - 7523616512 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pie charts , the word , bird , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Happy Medium

Saturday 13 January 10:23:31 UTC 2018

happy Line Graph medium punctuation important - 6663215616 Too much or too little is too bad. Graph by: RedIronCrown Tagged: happy , Line Graph , medium , punctuation , important Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Should Come Visit Soon

Saturday 13 January 10:23:30 UTC 2018

annoying toys children Line Graph presents visit - 6286880768 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: annoying toys , children , Line Graph , presents , visit Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Octothorpe? I Prefer #

Saturday 13 January 10:23:27 UTC 2018

twitter history octothorpe pound facebook hashtag libra - 7688501248 Graph by: (via Furthermore) Tagged: twitter , history , octothorpe , pound , facebook , hashtag , libra Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Curse You, Science!

Saturday 13 January 10:23:25 UTC 2018

pie charts superpowers radiation graphs funny - 7629739520 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pie charts , superpowers , radiation , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Price of a Game Day Beer

Saturday 13 January 10:23:21 UTC 2018

beer summer baseball funny - 7770690304 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: beer , summer , baseball , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Recent Graphs on Graph Jam

Saturday 13 January 10:23:20 UTC 2018

Chart graphjam graphs - 1410974976 LoL by: dark_fader Tagged: Chart , graphjam , graphs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Blind Goggles

Saturday 13 January 10:23:17 UTC 2018

attraction blind drunk old Pie Chart unattractive - 5555734272 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: attraction , blind , drunk , old , Pie Chart , unattractive Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Uses for Peeps marshmallow candy

Saturday 13 January 10:23:15 UTC 2018

candy computer easter eat gifts internet marshmallow martini microwaves Movie parody peeps - 1939667200 LoL by: Elfrieda Tagged: candy , computer , easter , eat , gifts , internet , marshmallow , martini , microwaves , Movie , parody , peeps Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time For the Streak of Shame

Saturday 13 January 10:23:13 UTC 2018

pie charts shower graphs funny - 7604718080 Graph by: trevor.wells.5264 Tagged: pie charts , shower , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Life of a Professional Photographer

Saturday 13 January 10:23:12 UTC 2018

camera job photographer Pie Chart professional - 6186704128 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: camera , job , photographer , Pie Chart , professional Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Understand Me On the Internet

Saturday 13 January 10:23:10 UTC 2018

Bar Graph facebook FAIL friends IRL - 4950881792 Graph by: Saerkas123 Tagged: Bar Graph , facebook , FAIL , friends , IRL Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Gang Signs Only Are For Default Photos, Right?

Saturday 13 January 10:23:09 UTC 2018

facebook Pie Chart social media thug life - 7906624256 Graph by: UnlicensedSurgeon Tagged: facebook , Pie Chart , social media , thug life Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 199-MPH Sierra wind gust sets California record. For comparison, 140-mph winds have been known to pick up and hurl baseball-sized rocks [Scary]

Saturday 13 January 10:17:07 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman has new take on spraying acid in someone's face, in that she did it to herself and then tried to blame a non-existent black woman [Stupid]

Saturday 13 January 7:42:35 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump administration hopes to renegotiate Iran nuclear deal but can't negotiate a farking mute button [Fail]

Saturday 13 January 6:43:13 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Final defendant in 'Basement of Horrors' pleads guilty. 'Parlor of Panic' and 'Utility Room of Dismay' cases still ongoing [Followup]

Saturday 13 January 6:11:19 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump gets clean bill of health from doctors* at Bethesda Naval Hospital (*No psychiatrists were present for this exam) [Followup]

Saturday 13 January 6:03:07 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Triangle Calculator

Saturday 13 January 6:02:53 UTC 2018

Image: Wikimedia Commons Edric Cane came up with a simple way to establish any row in Pascal’s triangle, creating a simple sequence of fractions that, when multiplied successively, will produce the numbers in any desired row. Here’s an example for Row 7, giving the coefficients for (a + b)7 = a7 + 7a6b + 21a5b2 + 35a4b3 + 35a3b4 + 21a2b5 … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stan Lee's ceremonial puck-drop at Arizona Coyotes hockey game cancelled amid nurse harassment allegations. You may post your 'Jack Kirby got screwed jokes' to the right [Asinine]

Saturday 13 January 5:34:20 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Okay, now that everyone has their basic cable "sh*thole" boner taken care of, let's lay back and relax. Come on, baby, you can still say "sh*thole" just like Anderson Cooper while you take the Fark Weird News Quiz, 12/30-1/5 sh*th

Saturday 13 January 4:47:49 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A man who was about to lose his restaurant after Hurricane Harvey has his fortunes turned around by his teenage daughter and Twitter, readily admits he doesn't even know what a Twitter is [Cool]

Saturday 13 January 4:32:17 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doesn't matter….had sex [Sick]

Saturday 13 January 4:17:16 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PETA rewards firefighters for rescuing cow from frozen pond. Fark: With 'Vegan' jerky [Facepalm]

Saturday 13 January 3:48:57 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Leaks indicate Julian Assange's Ecuadorian citizenship offer actually an effort to purge lingering stank from embassy. Julian doesn't bathe "unless the people around him force him into the shower" [Sick]

Saturday 13 January 3:42:00 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Man in Porsche carjacks Dodge Charger in Loop" says this totally not reversed headline [Strange]

Saturday 13 January 3:38:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A second porn star has hit Trump Tower [Followup]

Saturday 13 January 2:58:08 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Owing to the fact that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Day is Monday, and the state's observance of "Lee-Jackson Day" is Friday, several VA police departments are bracing for a ROUGH weekend [Dumbass]

Saturday 13 January 2:44:44 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman has her pregnancy photo shoot at Taco Bell since she craves it while she's pregnant. CPS is not certain if this is fetus abuse or not [Facepalm]

Saturday 13 January 2:27:53 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wow, who knew ingesting laundry detergent would be bad for you? [Facepalm]

Saturday 13 January 2:25:53 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toddler overdoses for second time in three months. Jeez, what's with that kid? [Florida]

Saturday 13 January 2:18:04 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I guess the search results didn't include how to delete browser history or clean the hard drive [Stupid]

Saturday 13 January 1:51:24 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dog missing for five days is found alive in a snowbank. When asked how the ordeal was, the dog replied, "Rough" [Cool]

Saturday 13 January 1:24:44 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these, if you're old enough to know what they are [Photoshop]

Saturday 13 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An Oklahoma game warden shoots an Elk to save its life [Hero]

Saturday 13 January 0:58:04 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently if you eat tofu and aren't a vegan, that's cultural appropriation [Facepalm]

Saturday 13 January 0:47:03 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [177 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Macadangdang banged [PSA]

Saturday 13 January 0:43:51 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The world decides to send Trump pictures of their shiatholes. This is not a euphemism… or is it? [Amusing]

Saturday 13 January 0:31:24 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And so it begins. Subby would like to remind you that the CEO of Nestlé is on record for claiming that access to water is not a human right [Scary]

Saturday 13 January 0:04:44 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [84 comments] [Link]

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