John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Turkey's state religious affairs body says girls should be able to get married as young as age nine. In other news, Roy Moore spotted buying tickets to Istanbul [Asinine]

Thursday 4 January 23:50:04 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, the long debate about mayonnaise is nearing an end. Miracle Whip still contentious [Interesting]

Thursday 4 January 23:33:42 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's so cold in Florida that it's raining iguanas, again [Followup]

Thursday 4 January 23:11:53 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cheeky Linux developers suggested interesting names for their Intel CPU bug workarounds.: "User Address Space Separation" and "Forcefully Unmap Complete Kernel With Interrupt Trampolines" [Amusing]

Thursday 4 January 22:50:04 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump: Cease and desist from publishing that book Book Publisher: Did you say release and list? Ok we will publish it 4 days early [Amusing]

Thursday 4 January 22:40:04 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [367 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "8 Old-Fashioned Valentine's Day Traditions We Wish Would Come Back." Not listed: Waiting until February to run articles about Valentine's Day [Obvious]

Thursday 4 January 22:20:04 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What NPR news quiz show that plugs Fark regularly just celebrated 20 years on the air? Congrats folks [Cool]

Thursday 4 January 21:53:36 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Super blue blood moon eclipse will be seen on Jan 31st. High advisory warning for witches, werewolves, warlocks, Tar Heels [Cool]

Thursday 4 January 21:50:04 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police raided the storehouse of woman who bragged she was the "Queen of Pot" in California mere days before THC legalization took effect [Awkward]

Thursday 4 January 21:20:49 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's getting drunk and stupid on New Year's Eve …and then there's getting drunk and taking a £1,640 cab ride through three countries stupid [Weird]

Thursday 4 January 21:20:04 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this slick spot [Photoshop]

Thursday 4 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I don't know if road salt can disrupt our circadian rhythms but that still sounds better than skidding across three lanes of traffic on an icy road [Obvious]

Thursday 4 January 20:50:04 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meanwhile in Canada, scientists are learning to beat aggressive forms of breast cancer in mice. Subby never even thought mice had breasts [Spiffy]

Thursday 4 January 20:20:04 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Intrepid

Thursday 4 January 19:51:28 UTC 2018

The only surviving exchange between Ulysses Grant and his wife is dated May 22, 1875. She wrote, “How many years ago to day is that we were engaged? Just such a day as this too was it not?” He responded, “Thirty-one years ago. I was so frightened however that I do not remember whether it was warm or snowing.” [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember when Dylan Harris allegedly made a Doom level that looked like his school? The U.S. Army brings you the next-best thing [Stupid]

Thursday 4 January 19:50:04 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After racist tirade, Florida man threatens neighbors with chainsaw and guns, has 20-minute standoff with police, and is somehow not shot repeatedly [Florida]

Thursday 4 January 19:20:05 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hyperextreme nipple glaciation is apparently something to worry about in Maine [Satire]

Thursday 4 January 18:50:04 UTC 2018

Satire [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mike Pence has witnessed the firepower of this fully GAY Jones [Amusing]

Thursday 4 January 18:35:20 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Midvale man accused of threatening to kill President Trump, Utah police officers gifted with 11 count indictment [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 January 18:20:05 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Who could succeed David Attenborough when he retires?" You just read that in his voice [Interesting]

Thursday 4 January 17:50:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sure, you probably choked your chicken on New Year's Eve … but 20 of them? New Year's Stupidity Trifecta in play [Sick]

Thursday 4 January 17:20:04 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Slurpee waves' wash ashore on Nantucket. No word on what flavor they are [Interesting]

Thursday 4 January 16:50:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, remember those Internet Experts™ who said "you're doing it wrong" when you warm up your car during the winter months? Yeah, about that [Followup]

Thursday 4 January 16:20:05 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [247 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's a chance this white powder might be cocaine. Let's snort it [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 January 15:50:04 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » She needs her coffee, she wants her coffee, and she really doesn't care if she's live on the news at the time [Video]

Thursday 4 January 15:20:05 UTC 2018

Video [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hot new trend in Bangkok: penis whitening. Using a "very small laser" [Giggity]

Thursday 4 January 14:50:04 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest retro fashion trend to make a return: the scrunchie. Don't be fooled by hipsters proudly donning their $200 "Hair Clouds"- it's a scrunchie [Silly]

Thursday 4 January 14:30:04 UTC 2018

Silly [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Food safety experts recommend avoiding romaine lettuce. Subby also recommends we should probably stop eating all salads and exercising as well, you know, just to be sure [PSA]

Thursday 4 January 14:20:04 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you had 'three days' after California legalizes recreational marijuana before Jeff Sessions decides to put a stop to it, take a toke, then come forward to claim your bag of Doritos [Facepalm]

Thursday 4 January 14:06:41 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [351 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is what it looks like in Times Square right now: "wind-soaking rain" [News]

Thursday 4 January 14:06:29 UTC 2018

News [link] [97 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Cooking with your mouth

Thursday 4 January 14:01:40 UTC 2018

Why use a food processor when God gave you a mouth? The video was created by artist Nathan Ceddia who claims his intent was to help people avoid cooking-related injuries by encouraging them to use the mouth as an 'all-in-one utensil.'

The idea of eating food that's been mixed with another person's saliva reminds me of the saliva noodles I … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these cosplayers [Photoshop]

Thursday 4 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thieves steal gems from Doge's Palace exhibition in Venice. Such surprise. Much value [Sad]

Thursday 4 January 13:50:04 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know it's a bad flu season when the hospital sets up a triage tent outside [Sick]

Thursday 4 January 13:20:05 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian military can only survive 19 days into an invasion, which is more than enough time for them to mop up what the Australian wildlife and environment didn't take care of [Scary]

Thursday 4 January 12:55:18 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [149 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cripes, you'd think they'd never seen snow before [Florida]

Thursday 4 January 12:50:04 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Lawmakers concerned about President Donald Trump's mental state summoned Yale University psychiatry professor Dr. Bandy X. Lee to Capitol Hill last month for two days of briefings about his recent behavior" [Scary]

Thursday 4 January 12:26:17 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The forgotten Swiss diplomat who rescued thousands from Holocaust [Hero]

Thursday 4 January 11:55:28 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [18 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Mongolian Box Prison

Thursday 4 January 11:12:00 UTC 2018

Source of photo.

Source of drawing.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » No cellphone use by White House staff starting next week because they might be wire tapped. They can talk to their sick kids or wives who are in labor when they get home [Creepy]

Thursday 4 January 11:11:31 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey Rocky, watch me pull .. never mind.. shovels? This time for sure [Cool]

Thursday 4 January 10:58:11 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [9 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » I Want One That Looks Pretty!

Thursday 4 January 10:55:22 UTC 2018

customers Pie Chart rude shopping - 4767046400 Graph by: WingedRivers Tagged: customers , Pie Chart , rude , shopping Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't kid yourself Jimmy, if a cow ever got the chance, she'd kill you, and everyone you cared about [Sad]

Thursday 4 January 10:55:19 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [46 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Does This Annoy Anyone Else?

Thursday 4 January 10:55:18 UTC 2018

Line Graph insomnia sleeping - 6750493696 Every time. Graph by: DarkMouser Tagged: Line Graph , insomnia , sleeping Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » iHyped

Thursday 4 January 10:55:06 UTC 2018

apple computers expensive hype ipad iphone money Pie Chart - 6461658880 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: apple , computers , expensive , hype , ipad , iphone , money , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Can Hope

Thursday 4 January 10:55:05 UTC 2018

class school TV Pie Chart - 7069792256 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: class , school , TV , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Big Really?

Thursday 4 January 10:55:04 UTC 2018

education google earth map neat scale - 3881630720 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: education , google earth , map , neat , scale Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Decision Making Process of Dogs

Thursday 4 January 10:55:02 UTC 2018

decisions doghouse diaries dogs web comics - 7962013184 Submitted by: (via the doghouse diaries) Tagged: decisions , doghouse diaries , dogs , web comics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Are Colors, Anyway, Man

Thursday 4 January 10:55:00 UTC 2018

bob marley colors Ethiopia marajuana Pie Chart potheads reggae - 4434048000 Graph by: smithy998 Tagged: bob marley , colors , Ethiopia , marajuana , Pie Chart , potheads , reggae Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Have a Bedside Stash of Noisy Projectiles

Thursday 4 January 10:54:54 UTC 2018

Cats dust off keyboards Pie Chart - 4927802112 Graph by: liteshaodow Tagged: Cats , dust off , keyboards , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Best Friend Gave Me That Gum Wrapper!

Thursday 4 January 10:54:52 UTC 2018

cleaning mom trash venn diagram - 4964524032 Graph by: GraceJediHeart Tagged: cleaning , mom , trash , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things Unicorns Can't Do

Thursday 4 January 10:54:49 UTC 2018

airport security best of week head butt unicorn - 6153000704 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: airport security , best of week , head butt , unicorn Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Gotham City population by occupation

Thursday 4 January 10:54:46 UTC 2018

batman comics gotham city Pie Chart Population Density - 4017479936 Graph by: BenReilly Tagged: batman , comics , gotham city , Pie Chart , Population Density Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Uhhh, Rick Perry's, uhhh, agencies of government, uhhhh

Thursday 4 January 10:54:39 UTC 2018

Debates political presidential campaign Rick Perry - 5422118400 Graph by: rvg1981 Tagged: Debates , political , presidential campaign , Rick Perry Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Slow-mo Portion of the Game

Thursday 4 January 10:54:37 UTC 2018

football Pie Chart slow mo sports - 5382279936 Graph by: pegsterrific Tagged: football , Pie Chart , slow mo , sports Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Looks like them Duke boys are at it again [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 January 10:02:05 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » By all means, ban bear spray near the border wall. And ice picks [Facepalm]

Thursday 4 January 9:53:54 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maybe we should rethink this whole North Korea is a threat to the U.S stuff [Fail]

Thursday 4 January 8:05:37 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man under arrest for driving under the influence because cop said green tongue was sign that he had been using marijuana [Strange]

Thursday 4 January 7:17:41 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Thursday 4 January 6:57:45 UTC 2018

habile
adj. able or skillful philobiblian
n. a book lover tachydidaxy
n. a short method of teaching telesis
n. the intelligent direction of effort toward the achievement of an end Mathematician Theodor Molien was fluent in German, Estonian, French, Swedish, Greek, Hebrew, Latin, English, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, and Norwegian. “Read a hundred novels in a language,” he liked to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kids? Dog? [PSA]

Thursday 4 January 5:37:57 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 661: "Mr. M". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 4 January 5:01:00 UTC 2018

Farktography [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Looks like Putin didn't get his military aircraft out of Syria quite quickly enough [News]

Thursday 4 January 4:09:00 UTC 2018

News [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fat, drunk, and biting a security guard's leg is no way to go through life, son [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 January 3:50:04 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Article on how to get work done during a snow day, gifted month of TotalFark [Interesting]

Thursday 4 January 2:50:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fire department says smoke alarms are paramount during this cold weather. Adds that carbon monoxide alarms are touchstone and burglar alarms are sony picture studios [PSA]

Thursday 4 January 1:50:04 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge – Help out the Flat Earth Society by photoshopping proof that the earth really is flat [Photoshop]

Thursday 4 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We can now program our AI to have acid trips. Technology has come a long way [Awkward]

Thursday 4 January 0:50:04 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [32 comments] [Link]

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