John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Bad: Being stuck in Bangkok airport for two hours. Mega bad: Being stuck in Bangkok airport for two months [Fail]

Saturday 30 December 23:07:24 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Prankster" whose SWATting resulted in police shooting has made bomb threats before [Followup]

Saturday 30 December 22:15:23 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [294 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Blind Spot

Saturday 30 December 21:07:13 UTC 2017

Given the premises No fruit-picker is a sailor and All Ruritanians are fruit-pickers, it’s fairly easy to deduce that No Ruritanian is a sailor. But what logical conclusion can be drawn from these premises? All members of the cabinet are thieves. No composer is a member of the cabinet. Many people decide that no conclusion can be drawn. “Almost without … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mailman [Photoshop]

Saturday 30 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Year's Eve in Times Square is a urine-soaked hell, so get there early [Unlikely]

Saturday 30 December 19:59:00 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » South Carolina lottery is kinda, sorta, possibly thinking about maybe warming up to the idea they need to pay out their winning tickets [Followup]

Saturday 30 December 19:24:53 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whatever grandma, if you must have a good painkiller, sprinkling cannabis on cheese toast doesn't sound so bad [Spiffy]

Saturday 30 December 19:14:51 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In other news, half of Puerto Rico is still without power three months after Hurricane Maria [Followup]

Saturday 30 December 18:31:59 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [169 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We taste-tested these various flavored high fructose corn syrup concoctions so you didn't have to. You're welcome [Interesting]

Saturday 30 December 17:38:18 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sixth-grade teacher appeals firing after parents complained to police he showed students pornography … or rather, classical Impressionist, Rococo nudes [Facepalm]

Saturday 30 December 17:33:00 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gamer whose "swatting" call led to an innocent man's death arrested in Los Angeles where he "had been living at a transitional recovery center." Hopefully he'll get to spend many years in a transitional recovery cell block [Fo

Saturday 30 December 15:21:23 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [393 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Broke man who sold a blanket for $1.5 million apparently needs to learn to manage his money [Followup]

Saturday 30 December 14:46:23 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear United States: We need to talk about your drinking problem [Murica]

Saturday 30 December 14:23:12 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [136 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Unko Button

Saturday 30 December 14:16:37 UTC 2017

New from Japan, the Unko Button. It's a gadget that lets you post on social media about your baby's bowel movements with just a push of a button. It's got two buttons. One for poo, the other for pee.

More info: RocketNews24

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this appraisal [Photoshop]

Saturday 30 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police finally track down that Nigerian prince that needs your help moving $25 million [Followup]

Saturday 30 December 13:34:12 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkey: where pampered cats are top dog on Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 30 December 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Caturday [link] [514 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A horse is a horse, of course, of course, unless you lose custody through divorce, and you give up, your horse, by force, to the former spouse you wed [Interesting]

Saturday 30 December 12:15:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beep beep beep I'm a car. Fark you, I'm a bus. I'm a TRAAAAIN, suck my diiiiick [Video]

Saturday 30 December 11:41:00 UTC 2017

Video [link] [37 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » When Havoc Struck

Saturday 30 December 11:11:00 UTC 2017

It's never news or entertainment when something goes right, only when it goes wrong. The 1978 TV series WHEN HAVOC STRUCK knew what people wanted. Glenn Ford must've needed a paycheck.

Other episodes on YouTube. [Link]

GraphJam » The Anatomy of a Beatboxer

Saturday 30 December 10:33:18 UTC 2017

anatomy beatboxing Music - 6307692288 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: anatomy , beatboxing , Music Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Their Guilt's Eclipsed by Twilight

Saturday 30 December 10:33:13 UTC 2017

eclipse glenn beck magnets mormons Pie Chart stephanie meyer twilight - 4444255488 Graph by: Doonesman Tagged: eclipse , glenn beck , magnets , mormons , Pie Chart , stephanie meyer , twilight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Please Don't Become a Tattoo Artist

Saturday 30 December 10:33:12 UTC 2017

Bar Graph handwriting ink readable writing - 4655004416 Graph by: mrgiles Tagged: Bar Graph , handwriting , ink , readable , writing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mama Mia, Will You Make Me Slow

Saturday 30 December 10:33:05 UTC 2017

bohemian rhapsody kart mario nintendo Pie Chart queen racing shell video games - 4574042880 Graph by: mybigfannypack Tagged: bohemian rhapsody , kart , mario , nintendo , Pie Chart , queen , racing , shell , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: Every Time Is Nerd Time

Saturday 30 December 10:33:01 UTC 2017

best of week clock math nerd nine time - 6461579520 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , clock , math , nerd , nine , time Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bugs, Bugs Everywhere

Saturday 30 December 10:32:59 UTC 2017

CS debug Pie Chart programming writing code - 6416835328 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: CS , debug , Pie Chart , programming , writing code Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cleaning? That Sounds Boring

Saturday 30 December 10:32:57 UTC 2017

children cleaning your room parents Pie Chart playing toys - 6508330752 Graph by: CHRISSYMG81 Tagged: children , cleaning your room , parents , Pie Chart , playing , toys Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People Who Have Let The Dogs Out

Saturday 30 December 10:32:56 UTC 2017

annoying dogs Music Songs - 1396474624 LoL by: joeccooll Tagged: annoying , dogs , Music , Songs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Read It, if You Have the Constitution

Saturday 30 December 10:32:54 UTC 2017

pleated jeans US Map america halloween scary - 6674509056 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans ) Tagged: pleated jeans , US Map , america , halloween , scary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Trying to Keep the Romance Alive

Saturday 30 December 10:32:51 UTC 2017

bar graphs farts girlfriend graphs funny - 7602624512 Graph by: viperjet Tagged: bar graphs , farts , girlfriend , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You'll Miss the Climax if You Go

Saturday 30 December 10:32:50 UTC 2017

Bar Graph cola movies pee pop soda time - 4851711232 Graph by: emanedoc1 Tagged: Bar Graph , cola , movies , pee , pop , soda , time Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What I Learned in Journalism School

Saturday 30 December 10:32:43 UTC 2017

fiction journalism marketing school truth - 2295243520 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: fiction , journalism , marketing , school , truth Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The chances of a procrastinator getting a chart done

Saturday 30 December 10:32:41 UTC 2017

charts graphs procrastination - 1640478976 LoL by: 4of5Rocker Tagged: charts , graphs , procrastination Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Beard To Bike Knowledge Ratio

Saturday 30 December 10:32:40 UTC 2017

wizard knowledge bike - 7763516672 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: wizard , knowledge , bike Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the "You Can't Make This Sh*t Up" Department: Swiss lawmaker blames gay suicide on weakened anal muscles [Facepalm]

Saturday 30 December 10:26:06 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The President of the United States was just corrected on global warming by a member of Jersey Shore and shiat like that [Murica]

Saturday 30 December 9:55:00 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to drive drunk? Move to Alberta [Facepalm]

Saturday 30 December 8:11:58 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Okay, how bad did you fark up when the Alabama Secretary of State laughs at your dumbass claims? [Fail]

Saturday 30 December 8:06:55 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here is an update from the charming mother of 15 who demanded "somebody has to pay" a few years back. She has been blessed with 2 more children and has something to say [Florida]

Saturday 30 December 7:44:38 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [216 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Facing an economic crisis because you've decided to leave the EU? A shiny new Royal Yacht should fix that right up [Facepalm]

Saturday 30 December 6:45:40 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI conducting a raid in Sterling Virginia [News]

Saturday 30 December 5:15:27 UTC 2017

News [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » They triiiiiied to kill him with a plane wing… uh-oh [Sad]

Saturday 30 December 4:15:30 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » These cheese-making buffalos get massages and listen to Mozart. Do you think this royal treatment makes the cheese any better? [Weird]

Saturday 30 December 3:55:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's really cold outside. How cold is it? A dog froze to death. Some sharks died. And a man at a bus stop froze to death [PSA]

Saturday 30 December 3:32:21 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Truck carrying trail mix wrecks on highway. Police searching for a good raisin, haven't ruled out nuts [Sad]

Saturday 30 December 3:02:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Exonerated Tennessee man seeks $1 million after being wrongly jailed for 31 years" [News]

Saturday 30 December 2:53:34 UTC 2017

News [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out a 3-year-old started the Bronx fire by playing with the stove. Man, that's going to be one long timeout [Followup]

Saturday 30 December 2:08:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother of five and her "best friend" agree to split winning lottery ticket. Days later, mother of five sees "best friend" in press with $300,000 lotto check. Mother of five needs new best friend [Awkward]

Saturday 30 December 1:51:35 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dylan prepares to bring Britain to its knees with heavy snow, giant hailstones, 70mph gales, obscure references [Scary]

Saturday 30 December 1:26:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Kokoschka [Photoshop]

Saturday 30 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's hard to take news reporting seriously when there are T-rexes frolicking in the background [Amusing]

Saturday 30 December 0:55:34 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some days you feel like a superhero, then there are days when you try to hurdle the gates in the London Underground and get your penis stuck in the barriers [Fail]

Saturday 30 December 0:38:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Simplicity

Saturday 30 December 0:14:02 UTC 2017

In The Pleasures of Counting, T.W. Körner asks, “How long would you expect a paper reporting a crucial experiment in physics to be and how would you expect it to be written? Here in its entirety is a paper entitled ‘Interference Fringes With Feeble Light’ written by G.I. Taylor in 1909 (to be found in his collected works).” It’s six … [Link]

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