John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Sheep rescued in Eskifjörður after vanishing during bad weather. What they were doing in my Eskifjörður, I'll never tell [Strange]

Wednesday 29 November 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Variety is out with all the dildo-buying, penis-waving details on Matt Lauer [Sick]

Wednesday 29 November 23:24:26 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [306 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Like a john trying to skip out without paying the prostitute, Russia eyes the door as soon as Syria starts wanting money [Followup]

Wednesday 29 November 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Restoration team finds note hidden in Jesus' butt [Interesting]

Wednesday 29 November 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dramatic reenactment of an Alfred Hitchcock movie [Photoshop]

Wednesday 29 November 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reporter tries to eat thrown out food for a week and lives to write about it [Interesting]

Wednesday 29 November 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists test 9 "yeti" DNA samples and discover they are actually from bears. Loch Ness monster tests still ongoing [Obvious]

Wednesday 29 November 19:54:17 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Plea

Wednesday 29 November 19:54:15 UTC 2017

One sticks a finger into the ground to smell what country one is in. I stick my finger into the world — it has no smell. Where am I? What does it mean to say: the world? What is the meaning of that word? Who tricked me into this whole thing and leaves me standing here? Who am I? How … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A friend helps you move. A true friend helps you move a dead body. A friendly coworker helps you by holding the gun you've used in your serial killings without telling the police. Huh, I guess this coworker wasn't friendly [Florida]

Wednesday 29 November 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Matt Lauer was fired so abruptly because the NYT and Variety were preparing to publish stories about his sexual misconduct [Followup]

Wednesday 29 November 18:17:43 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [352 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, that's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are harassing the women, and all the children are above average [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 29 November 18:17:12 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [593 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet Mr Fluffy the dinosaur [Strange]

Wednesday 29 November 16:50:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The US Federal Reserve is considering starting a digital currency. That's the joke [Asinine]

Wednesday 29 November 16:00:09 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested for stealing a mounted zebra head. Now takeoff zebra, baby [Strange]

Wednesday 29 November 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anthony Senerchia, the man behind the ALS "Ice Bucket Challenge," passes away at 46 [Hero]

Wednesday 29 November 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Indecent Apes

Wednesday 29 November 14:12:48 UTC 2017

McAllen Monitor – Nov 19, 1993

The offending cover. It's true, you can see a dangly bit there, as well as some naked ta-tas.

[Link]

Weird Universe » A Is for Atom PSA

Wednesday 29 November 14:12:47 UTC 2017

Dr. Atom is a hideous abomination of nightmare fuel. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Surprising tattoos. Difficulty: No politicians [Photoshop]

Wednesday 29 November 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Check out this horny dog just in time for Woofday, Wetnose, Wednesday [Amusing]

Wednesday 29 November 14:00:00 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Note to self: Do not do 'butt selfies' at temples in Thailand [Facepalm]

Wednesday 29 November 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cat's life saved after surviving a week with head stuck in mayonnaise jar. Your dog wants mustard [Awkward]

Wednesday 29 November 13:20:06 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NBC fires Matt Lauer for sexual misconduct; wearing miniskirts during every Halloween special [Creepy]

Wednesday 29 November 13:00:34 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [455 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stores are selling $1,000 upside down Christmas trees. You'll need to burn your tree to heat your house this winter [Strange]

Wednesday 29 November 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hey, baby, you up for some plowing?" [Amusing]

Wednesday 29 November 12:31:28 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CDC: If you've consumed raw milk in the last 6 months, see your doctor immediately. Brucellosis can kill you. Worse yet, it can leave you with "inflamed, severely painful and swollen testicles" [PSA]

Wednesday 29 November 12:20:05 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian electrician sacked for using potato chip bag as Faraday cage to skip work for two years without employer noticing [Strange]

Wednesday 29 November 11:36:29 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [87 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » He Does That Cute Head Turn

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:51 UTC 2017

animals cute dogs Pie Chart TV - 5156483328 Dogs make me smile. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: animals , cute , dogs , Pie Chart , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They'll Never Notice if I Change the Margins a Little

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:48 UTC 2017

font homework margins Pie Chart school - 5359642880 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: font , homework , margins , Pie Chart , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Your Face Will Surely Show It

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:46 UTC 2017

clap your hands flow chart happy - 5385360896 Graph by: (via Graphic Content) Tagged: clap your hands , flow chart , happy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Recipe for Genius

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:45 UTC 2017

inspiration lightbulb chart genius - 7732704000 Submitted by: (via Red Lemon Club) Tagged: inspiration , lightbulb chart , genius Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time Spent on Apps

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:41 UTC 2017

iPhones apps update - 7135604736 Apps account for endless hours of entertainment, and can ruin verbal communication on a night out with friends in a heartbeat. Graph by: kitteh_pleaz (via Columnfivemedia) Tagged: iPhones , apps , update Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Conditioning It Was All They Could Manage

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:39 UTC 2017

hair Line Graph long hair short hair - 7954348288 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: hair , Line Graph , long hair , short hair Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Procrastination

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:36 UTC 2017

flow chart homework school - 2705787392 Graph by: Isabel Tagged: flow chart , homework , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At No Point Is It Drinkable

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:35 UTC 2017

coffee cold drink lava Line Graph - 5750053888 Graph by: Davus55 Tagged: coffee , cold , drink , lava , Line Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Moar Sleep!

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:34 UTC 2017

moar morning folgers amazing sleep waking up - 6795444992 Graph by: Red1Fawx Tagged: moar , morning , folgers , amazing , sleep , waking up Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Gadgets 2000 vs. Gadgets 2012

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:31 UTC 2017

best of week electronics gadgets iphone smart phone - 5923884800 Graph by: imagin-ary Tagged: best of week , electronics , gadgets , iphone , smart phone Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Like a Giant Candy Cane!

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:30 UTC 2017

frozen lamp post lick Pie Chart stuck tongue winter - 4288302848 Graph by: bunnyborg Tagged: frozen , lamp post , lick , Pie Chart , stuck , tongue , winter Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Distribution of What

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:29 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 8978512384 I'm glad someone is finally studying this Graph by: DamnJack Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who Buys CDs Anymore?

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:28 UTC 2017

Bar Graph Music piracy retail - 5356283904 Graph by: SuckOnThis Tagged: Bar Graph , Music , piracy , retail Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Re-Plotted: You Can Thrust Many Things On the Internet

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:25 UTC 2017

Bar Graph cant tell if spelling typo - 5328545792 Cannot tell if trolling or they just actually think that's how it's spelled Submitted by: Kehteh Tagged: Bar Graph , cant tell if , spelling , typo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wikipedia Article Not Long Enough?

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:21 UTC 2017

projects research school venn diagram - 5970599680 Graph by: epicpilotguy Tagged: projects , research , school , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Good on Almost Everything…

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:20 UTC 2017

marijuana high nutella food Pie Chart - 5262177024 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: marijuana , high , nutella , food , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It Even Looks Like a Sound Wave!

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:19 UTC 2017

productivity graphs sound waves - 6552107264 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: productivity , graphs , sound waves Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What I'm Looking Forward to the Most In HP-DH Pt. 2

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:18 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4919398656 Graph by: abkneal Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How much I like my drawings

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:17 UTC 2017

drawings like notes school sketchbook - 2956150016 Graph by: Arcaenia Tagged: drawings , like , notes , school , sketchbook Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Relevancy of Ferris Bueller's Day Off to High School Students

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:15 UTC 2017

80s 90s ferris-buellers-day-off high school Line Graph movies present relevance - 2527197184 Graph by: kaitoukat Tagged: 80s , 90s , ferris-buellers-day-off , high school , Line Graph , movies , present , relevance Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Doesn't Sound Right to Me

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:12 UTC 2017

boring sleepovers girls - 7426075392 Graph by: yellowlover14 Tagged: boring , sleepovers , girls Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Hate Shopping

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:09 UTC 2017

shopping venn diagrams clothing graphs funny - 7538299392 Graph by: eyeveewhy Tagged: shopping , venn diagrams , clothing , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » For Everything Else, There's Internet

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:08 UTC 2017

pie charts news graphs funny - 7591694336 Graph by: sleepytime Tagged: pie charts , news , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Tastiest Shapes

Wednesday 29 November 11:30:06 UTC 2017

circle noms pizza triangle venn diagram - 5177805824 I love pizza. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: circle , noms , pizza , triangle , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Firefighters know they rescued a rodent, they just don't know what kind of rodent it is [Weird]

Wednesday 29 November 10:53:27 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mueller is investigating Flynn's time as Defense Intelligence Agency director before he was fired. Thanks, Obama [Followup]

Wednesday 29 November 10:06:02 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yahoo hacker pleads guilty, admits helping Russia target specific Americans. Yeehaw [Followup]

Wednesday 29 November 9:49:26 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gateway Pundit reporter caught acting like Gateway Pundit reporter at "It's OK to be White" speech. Woman he assaulted caught watching his arrest [Dumbass]

Wednesday 29 November 9:03:27 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study finds white men with small members feel stricter gun laws are attacks on their masculinity [Interesting]

Wednesday 29 November 8:30:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The family of that POTUS who can't bring himself to condemn Nazis hid their German heritage for years [Weird]

Wednesday 29 November 7:54:48 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Navajo Code Talker unfazed by Trump's staging of ceremony in front of Andrew Jackson portrait; "The Marines made us yell 'Geronimo' when we jumped out of planes and that didn't offend me either" [Hero]

Wednesday 29 November 6:49:35 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Bullseye

Wednesday 29 November 6:08:46 UTC 2017

Rather than follow daylight saving time, the state of Arizona observes standard time throughout the year. But the Navajo Nation observes daylight saving time throughout its territory, including the part that lies in Arizona. And the Hopi Nation, which lies entirely in Arizona, surrounded entirely by the Navajo Nation, doesn’t. So the Hopi Nation is a region that doesn’t observe … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Silvio Berlusconi is turning into Johnny Cab [Creepy]

Wednesday 29 November 5:53:39 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops make 1 gram cocaine = 26 kilograms, and then the appellate court makes a fifteen year sentence stick. Texas tag yet? [Asinine]

Wednesday 29 November 4:38:46 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » LA city attorneys think it would be super to make the slumlord a tenant in his own hellhole. Amusing tag subbing for poetic justice [Amusing]

Wednesday 29 November 3:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who could POSSIBLY have an issue with a 'gaytivity' scene featuring two Josephs dressed in pink watching over baby Jesus? Oh, right [Facepalm]

Wednesday 29 November 3:17:30 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [148 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meghan Markle is unsuitable as Prince Harry's wife due to being divorced. If only there were a church the crown could go to to accommodate divorce [Amusing]

Wednesday 29 November 2:41:47 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I know Thanksgiving can be stressful, but yelling "take your farking son" while throwing your month old baby at his father and breaking his skull is a bit much [Sick]

Wednesday 29 November 2:21:45 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cracks in Oroville Dam's brand new spillway are "expected and pose no danger" say Calif State Officials who evacuated 200,000 people last spring [Facepalm]

Wednesday 29 November 2:07:37 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » High school morans decide a cancer awareness rally is the perfect place for a rape joke [Facepalm]

Wednesday 29 November 1:55:00 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Viagra can be sold over the counter. Fark: In the United Kingdom [Misc]

Wednesday 29 November 1:49:36 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Problem: Taliban insurgents are hiding in the hills and mountain caves where we can't get at them. Solution: Literally bomb the hills and mountains flat with B-52 carpet bombing raids. Talk about changing the geopolitical landscape, eh? [Murica]

Wednesday 29 November 1:41:33 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Leader, please work on your PR skills. Signed, Best Korea [Awkward]

Wednesday 29 November 1:34:00 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cheese, just because you didn't bag a deer you don't need to cry so much [Obvious]

Wednesday 29 November 1:26:54 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bali volcano's eruption could cool the entire planet [Ironic]

Wednesday 29 November 1:22:54 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New, revolutionary condom about to hit the market that will explain to you why she won't return your calls [Cool]

Wednesday 29 November 1:10:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this game of catch gone wrong [Photoshop]

Wednesday 29 November 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attempted mass shooter suffers a severe case of Acute Failure of the Victim Selection Process [Florida]

Wednesday 29 November 0:30:47 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [100 comments] [Link]

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