John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Texas Dairy Queen franchisee goes into bankruptcy and closes 29 stores. Blames Hurricane Harvey. Fair enough. Also blames low oil prices. Say what now? [Dumbass]

Thursday 2 November 23:57:27 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If the U.S. president says you're guilty and deserve the death penalty, it may be hard to get an uncontaminated jury pool — of course this will be someone else's fault [Fail]

Thursday 2 November 23:37:52 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ☑ [Sick]

Thursday 2 November 23:37:27 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Odds that's really a doctor on Craigslist looking for subjects for anatomical research are about the same as the odds of that's really a 14 year old girl you're chatting with online, but some people have to find out the hard way [Sick]

Thursday 2 November 23:10:47 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another Russian troll farm uncovered. The fake news is coming from inside the house [Followup]

Thursday 2 November 22:44:07 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police arrest smoke shop employee for possession of spice. Remedy this situation, restore spice production, or you will live out your life in a pain amplifier [Dumbass]

Thursday 2 November 22:20:07 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mark Cuban caught in dragnet [Awkward]

Thursday 2 November 22:11:57 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember that time when you tried to poison your husband, but accidentally killed 17 members of his family instead? Yeah, that was awkward [Fail]

Thursday 2 November 21:50:08 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Got way too much Halloween candy left over? Your kids overdosing on sugar binges? Donate your excess sugar pills to Operation Troop Treats, who will ship it all off to U.S. troops overseas so your dental problems will be theirs instead [PSA]

Thursday 2 November 21:30:40 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trying to sue a haunted house because you got scared? That's a losin' [Obvious]

Thursday 2 November 21:10:40 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: For the outdoorsy Farkers, what are your favorite camping/campfire recipes to satisfy your grubby little campmates? Bonus points for sharing tools to make campfire dining successful [Interesting]

Thursday 2 November 21:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This kitten has no nose, has more than 2,000 Instagram followers, smells bad [Sappy]

Thursday 2 November 20:48:51 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The secret history of a nuclear warhead falling 75 feet down a silo in South Dakota [Scary]

Thursday 2 November 20:30:23 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New species of Librarian discovered. Ook [Cool]

Thursday 2 November 20:11:56 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this medicine man [Photoshop]

Thursday 2 November 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Subby's laundry can be pretty toxic, especially after a chili cookoff, but never to the point where it would cause a washing machine to explode and disembowel itself, knocking someone out. (Pic, video) [Scary]

Thursday 2 November 19:50:07 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whore Island discovered off the coast of Colombia [Unlikely]

Thursday 2 November 19:44:08 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nurse delivers own baby in car outside hospital where she works. Man what does she know about that hospital that we don't? [Sappy]

Thursday 2 November 19:20:08 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC terror suspect seen driving with two men in rented Home Depot truck for weeks [News]

Thursday 2 November 19:10:16 UTC 2017

News [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York terror suspect wants to hang ISIS flag in hospital room. Most people on board with hang part of the request [Asinine]

Thursday 2 November 19:07:24 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 100 foods to eat before you die and where to find them in Milwaukee [PSA]

Thursday 2 November 18:40:44 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five ice creams flavored like Thanksgiving dinner foods. No word on beaver anal glands [Sick]

Thursday 2 November 18:14:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California family found safe in the jungle after being kidnapped by Brazilian pirates. Global temperatures seen plummeting [News]

Thursday 2 November 17:50:04 UTC 2017

News [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japan unveils female police squad to protect Melania, Ivanka Trump. Shirley, you can't be serious [Interesting]

Thursday 2 November 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Prepare yourself for the Full Beaver Moon [Giggity]

Thursday 2 November 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pit Liquor is a whiskey-based deodorant so you too can smell like a Fark systems admin [Strange]

Thursday 2 November 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey mom, here's a Snap of the porn they are showing during lunch [Boobies]

Thursday 2 November 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Boobies [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Perspective

Thursday 2 November 15:39:52 UTC 2017

French artist Georges Rousse photographs anamorphic images in abandoned and derelict buildings. When the scene above is viewed from the right vantage point, it looks like this: This video shows him at work on a project in Miyagi Prefecture, Japan, in 2013: [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Right-wing activist complains she was late to press conference because she could not find non-Muslim Uber or Lyft driver. Uber, Lyft take steps to ensure that never happens again [Dumbass]

Thursday 2 November 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [203 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's come to this: Now even porn stars are being accused of sex abuse because of Harvey Weinstein. Full fluffer circle [Interesting]

Thursday 2 November 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [218 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In order to boost her colleagues' morale, a woman paraded around her office completely naked [WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK] [Giggity]

Thursday 2 November 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [107 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Air Raid Noise Experiment

Thursday 2 November 13:57:26 UTC 2017

These pictures in the Google Arts picture archive don't come with any explanatory text, except that they're from an "Air Raid Noise Experiment" conducted in Nuneaton in 1941. But I suspect that the experiment was part of a series of psychological experiments conducted in the UK in 1941 that attempted to "harden Britons to bomb shock." The idea was to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I guess they were in a hurry [Interesting]

Thursday 2 November 13:47:35 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these baby blues [Photoshop]

Thursday 2 November 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's something to be said about a home built entirely out of spite just to piss off an annoying neighbor [Amusing]

Thursday 2 November 11:59:41 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just a quick reminder that the alt-right civil war against America starts this Saturday. You ready? [Interesting]

Thursday 2 November 11:20:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [548 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous [Giggity]

Thursday 2 November 11:12:11 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman suing Sephora claiming she got Herpes from a "common use" lipstick sampler. Wait, "common use"? [Sick]

Thursday 2 November 11:05:16 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man tries to open his beer bottle with a pepper spray canister. Since this is Fark, you can probably guess how it all turned out [Dumbass]

Thursday 2 November 10:59:41 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your kids are unsuccessful in life it's probably because you never let them play. Just look at the Trump family [Obvious]

Thursday 2 November 10:36:41 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Hothouse Children

Thursday 2 November 10:07:25 UTC 2017


Well, that's one theory, I guess…

Original article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Welcome to the party, Powell [News]

Thursday 2 November 9:42:40 UTC 2017

News [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The BBC is still mystified that you can buy guns in America but not dangerous things like sparklers, Haggis, and Kinder eggs [Murica]

Thursday 2 November 9:34:40 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [89 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Give Me a Break, George

Thursday 2 November 9:24:48 UTC 2017

grief revisionism star wars - 5182711808 Graph by: maxystone (via geektyrant.com) Tagged: grief , revisionism , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ten More Minutes, Mom

Thursday 2 November 9:24:47 UTC 2017

alarm mornings Pie Chart waking up - 4898553088 Graph by: NoahHernandez Tagged: alarm , mornings , Pie Chart , waking up Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bella Is so Misunderstood

Thursday 2 November 9:24:45 UTC 2017

best of week Pie Chart theme twilight twilight jokes - 5385514496 Graph by: HanzBonhoeffer Tagged: best of week , Pie Chart , theme , twilight , twilight jokes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Thursday 2 November 9:24:44 UTC 2017

actually head know lyrics Songs stuck venn diagram - 3166307584 Graph by: aieshad Tagged: actually , head , know , lyrics , Songs , stuck , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Nobody Wanted to See That, Weiner

Thursday 2 November 9:24:43 UTC 2017

politics venn diagram weiner whoops - 4842686208 Graph by: (via The Only Living Boy in New York) Tagged: politics , venn diagram , weiner , whoops Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At Least They Don't Think You're a Whale?

Thursday 2 November 9:24:41 UTC 2017

How People View Me Pie Chart sheep welsh - 5198305280 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: How People View Me , Pie Chart , sheep , welsh Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why the Sandwich is the King of Food-Engineering

Thursday 2 November 9:24:39 UTC 2017

Chart doghouse diaries sandwich food - 7885864448 Submitted by: (via The Doghouse Diaries) Tagged: Chart , doghouse diaries , sandwich , food Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Doesn't Mean It Isn't Real

Thursday 2 November 9:24:38 UTC 2017

best of week drunk Line Graph sightings vodka yeti - 5273134080 Graph by: Izaak Tagged: best of week , drunk , Line Graph , sightings , vodka , yeti Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Spring Break Activities

Thursday 2 November 9:24:35 UTC 2017

barbeque beach drunk girls golf sleep spring break - 1853438208 LoL by: imartin4 Tagged: barbeque , beach , drunk , girls , golf , sleep , spring break Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Me So h0rny

Thursday 2 November 9:24:34 UTC 2017

horns horse narwhal unicorn venn diagram - 3284617472 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: horns , horse , narwhal , unicorn , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Opinion of New Year's Resolutions

Thursday 2 November 9:24:30 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 2987575040 Graph by: CaptainPellew5 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh Please Call It a Lift

Thursday 2 November 9:24:28 UTC 2017

accent english How People View Me Pie Chart - 5217783552 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: accent , english , How People View Me , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If Your Crotch Can Dodge a Wrench, It Can Dodge a Ball

Thursday 2 November 9:24:27 UTC 2017

face dodgeball Pie Chart right in the crotch - 7906233344 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: face , dodgeball , Pie Chart , right in the crotch Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Hate Math

Thursday 2 November 9:24:24 UTC 2017

pie numbers math - 7687760384 Graph by: CrispySiomai Tagged: pie , numbers , math Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » New Cars

Thursday 2 November 9:24:23 UTC 2017

cars driving money value - 1530712832 LoL by: phobozad Tagged: cars , driving , money , value Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's Spot On

Thursday 2 November 9:24:22 UTC 2017

instructions How To harlem shake - 7183797504 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: instructions , How To , harlem shake Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Video Game Interest vs. Time

Thursday 2 November 9:24:21 UTC 2017

games technology time video games - 1546837248 LoL by: bhanna Tagged: games , technology , time , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Digital Sales: the Future of Game Purchasing?

Thursday 2 November 9:24:20 UTC 2017

angry birds consoles digital effects download infographic video games - 6335289856 Get Over Here and Play a Video Game Graph by: (via Daily Infographic) Tagged: angry birds , consoles , digital effects , download , infographic , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » See Also: Your Lunch

Thursday 2 November 9:24:15 UTC 2017

money Pie Chart social life the game the internet you just lost it again - 4281937920 Graph by: roby_frog Tagged: money , Pie Chart , social life , the game , the internet , you just lost it again Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » To Know Is to Love

Thursday 2 November 9:24:08 UTC 2017

friendship is magic my little pony television venn diagram - 4820042752 Graph by: dantheman007a Tagged: friendship is magic , my little pony , television , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This is why I hate corporate meetings

Thursday 2 November 9:24:07 UTC 2017

cancelled corporate forgetting hate look meetings nice notes prepared shirt stain stuck time traffic venn diagram - 2632835584 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cancelled , corporate , forgetting , hate , look , meetings , nice , notes , prepared , shirt , stain , stuck , time , traffic , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Portion Sizes Have Grown, and So Have We

Thursday 2 November 9:24:06 UTC 2017

best of week fast food health Line Graph obesity portion sizes - 6260299264 Graph by: (via The Atlantic) Tagged: best of week , fast food , health , Line Graph , obesity , portion sizes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sprinklers

Thursday 2 November 9:24:03 UTC 2017

Area of lawn lawns outside sprinklers watered - 3696962560 Sprinklers Graph by: sammm Tagged: Area of lawn , lawns , outside , sprinklers , watered Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Likelihood of Finding Proper Grammar on the Internet

Thursday 2 November 9:24:02 UTC 2017

grammar internet men spelling technology women - 1503697152 LoL by: pingpeppy Tagged: grammar , internet , men , spelling , technology , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » College students' Halloween costumes

Thursday 2 November 9:24:01 UTC 2017

characters college costume girls halloween movies Pie Chart scary sexual strippers students suggestive TV - 2767392000 Graph by: Michelle_CAAAT Tagged: characters , college , costume , girls , halloween , movies , Pie Chart , scary , sexual , strippers , students , suggestive , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Topless schoolgirls on dirt bikes injure student in end-of-year prank (NSFWish) [Giggity]

Thursday 2 November 7:22:21 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man, 23, who married his 91-year-old great-aunt now wants to collect her pension. Hmm, do you think it might have been more about the money than true love? [Creepy]

Thursday 2 November 6:31:29 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teachers in Oregon are now required to report any knowledge of students having sex with one another [Creepy]

Thursday 2 November 6:28:31 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Thursday 2 November 6:25:37 UTC 2017

By Thomas Tarrant. White to mate in two moves. SelectClick for Answer 1. Nf5! and 2. Rb5 will mate. From the Westminster Papers, 1877. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Walmart: Come for the low prices, stay for the shooting [Scary]

Thursday 2 November 5:23:27 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Obscure LDS humor: handing fake mission call letters to prospective missionaries. Postings to exotic locales as the Forest Moon of Endor and Mordor are popular [Silly]

Thursday 2 November 5:14:15 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An as-yet-unidentified civilian charged the NYC attacker as he emerged from his truck and kicked the guns, which were later found to be a pellet gun and a paintball gun, out of his hands. So, to recap: Fake guns, but VERY real balls [Hero]

Thursday 2 November 4:19:57 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 652: "Let's Get Lyrical". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 2 November 4:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DNA does not work that way [Asinine]

Thursday 2 November 3:56:13 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reporter Mike Stark arrested and beaten for refusing to bend the knee [Scary]

Thursday 2 November 3:15:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fun fact: The War on Terror has cost us $250 million… a day for 16 years [Scary]

Thursday 2 November 3:00:38 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First we get to find out about JFK, and now finally we get to find out what Bin Laden's favorite camel dating site is. Tomorrow will Jimmy Hoffa make an appearance? [Interesting]

Thursday 2 November 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Local man eats Chipotle for 365 consecutive days, will soon break record, intestines [Hero]

Thursday 2 November 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Second man wanted in connection with NYC terror attack. UPDATE: The FBI is no longer seeking a second man in connection with the lower Manhattan truck assault that killed eight people, authorities said Wednesday [News]

Thursday 2 November 1:09:52 UTC 2017

News [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First Secretary has been accused of sexual harassment which is ironic because usually it's secretaries being chased around the desk. You see, because secretaries are usually women. I'll be returning to the fifties now [Awkward]

Thursday 2 November 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New slogan for the city of Columbus, Georgia: "We do amazing." Apparently they don't grammar [Facepalm]

Thursday 2 November 0:34:49 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this red door [Photoshop]

Thursday 2 November 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

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