John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Ya know things in America are farked up when the cops have to deal with too many leafblower complaints [Stupid]

Sunday 29 October 23:21:44 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's "People Suck": burglars hit food bank for poverty-stricken families, stripping items earmarked for Thanksgiving & Christmas, then letting the freezer defrost; "Who steals from a food bank? We would have given them help if

Sunday 29 October 22:31:44 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest thing a self-proclaimed baby-boomer claims millennials have ruined: Halloween [Fail]

Sunday 29 October 21:41:14 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI suspends and then fires agents for: A) Trading secrets with Russia, B) Selling confiscated evidence, or C) Trying to have a baby [Facepalm]

Sunday 29 October 20:50:07 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When the museum says don't tap the shark tank, THEY MEAN DON'T TAP THE SHARK TANK [Amusing]

Sunday 29 October 20:38:42 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these caterpillars [Photoshop]

Sunday 29 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's news article quite possibly written by a Farker [Amusing]

Sunday 29 October 18:45:33 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We want to give our pink fairy hero and his acquaintance a big pat on the back for preventing this offender from getting away" [Spiffy]

Sunday 29 October 18:04:47 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What, you thought the 2017 season was over? Let's give a warm (water) welcome to Tropical Storm Philippe as he eyes what's left of the Florida Keys [Florida]

Sunday 29 October 17:29:30 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl uses her public Instagram account to make threats against her school [Florida]

Sunday 29 October 16:41:25 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Embezzle millions of dollars? Your team of high-priced lawyers will see you never spend a second in jail. Steal $1 and a houseplant? That's 7-1/2 to 15 years in the big house for you [Murica]

Sunday 29 October 16:37:33 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Never forget it takes a village to raise a baby elephant [Sappy]

Sunday 29 October 15:40:12 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [13 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #332

Sunday 29 October 15:00:43 UTC 2017

Wait a minute–this is my own tire on my own car that is being represented as a hideous criminal killer! And since I, the driver, am responsible for my own tires, I must be a hideous criminal killer too!

Way to make your customers feel good about themselves!

Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When danger reared its ugly head, they bravely turned their tails and fled, brave brave alt-righters, brave alt-righters, brave indeed [Followup]

Sunday 29 October 14:17:10 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [444 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just in time to make all your teeth fall out, the ultimate Halloween candy power ranking according to market research [Interesting]

Sunday 29 October 13:36:19 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Treats and Tricks [CSB]

Sunday 29 October 13:00:44 UTC 2017

CSB [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these pastel shells [Photoshop]

Sunday 29 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you can't hold a Dia de los Muertos party in a cemetery, where can you hold it? [Creepy]

Sunday 29 October 11:33:52 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Noise-canceling ramen fork

Sunday 29 October 11:28:32 UTC 2017

The OTOHIKO fork from Nissin, for noisy ramen slurpers. It doesn't actually cancel out the noise. When it detects a slurping noise it causes your phone to make a louder, wave-crashing sound, which drowns out the slurping sound.

It costs ¥14,800. Or around $130.

via mashable.com [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Clearly, the sensible choice for a Halloween costume is "gun-toting terrorist" [Sick]

Sunday 29 October 10:54:52 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The UK demands to know why they have to listen to Cher this weekend (possible nsfw content on page) [Awkward]

Sunday 29 October 10:35:10 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump: "Who's next, George Washington?" Church: "Hold my chalice" (Reading the article to the end is a good thing) [Facepalm]

Sunday 29 October 9:54:52 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [171 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Sound Is Touching Me All Over!

Sunday 29 October 7:17:01 UTC 2017

charlieissocoollike hearing sound Video - 5244794880 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: charlieissocoollike , hearing , sound , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Is It Really That Much Work to Open a Door?

Sunday 29 October 7:17:00 UTC 2017

handicapped lazy people Pie Chart automatic doors - 5317587200 Graph by: budgiekens Tagged: handicapped , lazy people , Pie Chart , automatic doors Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not, "What's Wrong With You"?

Sunday 29 October 7:16:57 UTC 2017

math Pie Chart what people say when wrong - 5764254976 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: math , Pie Chart , what people say when , wrong Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Choose Two

Sunday 29 October 7:16:56 UTC 2017

venn diagrams graphs funny college - 7604210432 Graph by: MargOrlando Tagged: venn diagrams , graphs , funny , college Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Work Is the Only Reason

Sunday 29 October 7:16:55 UTC 2017

good idea pants work - 7334386688 Graph by: Laughriot68 Tagged: good idea , pants , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's All Clear to Me Now!

Sunday 29 October 7:16:53 UTC 2017

misleading public opinion Pie Chart - 7013812480 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: misleading , public opinion , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Fast Time Travels

Sunday 29 October 7:16:51 UTC 2017

concert fast friends hate Line Graph talking time Travel - 2581928960 Graph by: sotownsend Tagged: concert , fast , friends , hate , Line Graph , talking , time , Travel Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Overruled!

Sunday 29 October 7:16:47 UTC 2017

best of week objection overruled phoenix wright Pie Chart video games - 5714306048 Graph by: Hoopdog Tagged: best of week , objection , overruled , phoenix wright , Pie Chart , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If You're Lucky, She'll Still Do Your Laundry in College

Sunday 29 October 7:16:46 UTC 2017

Bar Graph kids mom relationships son - 4594534144 Graph by: platapus1234 Tagged: Bar Graph , kids , mom , relationships , son Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How to create a top-rated YouTube video

Sunday 29 October 7:16:45 UTC 2017

cnn dancing flowchart Music rated techno top Video youtube - 2574843392 Graph by: cleaseltheweasel Tagged: cnn , dancing , flowchart , Music , rated , techno , top , Video , youtube Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How to Be Hot

Sunday 29 October 7:16:44 UTC 2017

attractive body language help infographic - 5072759040 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: attractive , body language , help , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What people think about 2012, Before and After

Sunday 29 October 7:16:43 UTC 2017

2012 Bar Graph global warming Line Graph megalomaniacs politicians psychological venn diagram worried - 2822046720 Graph by: spartan914 Tagged: 2012 , Bar Graph , global warming , Line Graph , megalomaniacs , politicians , psychological , venn diagram , worried Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Aren't the Brakes Working?!

Sunday 29 October 7:16:42 UTC 2017

Bar Graph driving lessons scary speed - 4938319616 Graph by: Yantilles Tagged: Bar Graph , driving , lessons , scary , speed Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Yo Momma Puts Planets to Shame

Sunday 29 October 7:16:41 UTC 2017

fat joke owned planet size your mom - 5001770496 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: fat joke , owned , planet , size , your mom Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » To Aar- or Not to Er-

Sunday 29 October 7:16:40 UTC 2017

aaron erin names spelling - 6574502144 Graph by: AH (via Awesome Toast) Tagged: aaron , erin , names , spelling Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Team that will win the World Cup

Sunday 29 October 7:16:39 UTC 2017

predictions soccer sports teams vuvuzela world cup - 3680183040 Team that will win the World Cup Graph by: Unknown Tagged: predictions , soccer , sports , teams , vuvuzela , world cup Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Express My Feelings Best With Emoticons

Sunday 29 October 7:16:38 UTC 2017

phones emoticons texting Pie Chart - 6981837056 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: phones , emoticons , texting , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Supersonic Is Super Effective!

Sunday 29 October 7:16:36 UTC 2017

beeping faint health Pie Chart Pokémon supersonic zubat - 4291432704 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: beeping , faint , health , Pie Chart , Pokémon , supersonic , zubat Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And Twinkies Make You Assassinate People

Sunday 29 October 7:16:35 UTC 2017

assassination food tacos twinkies - 5622021632 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: assassination , food , tacos , twinkies Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Is This a Common Problem?

Sunday 29 October 7:16:34 UTC 2017

autofill google interwebs search venn diagram - 5931540992 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: autofill , google , interwebs , search , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Sunday 29 October 7:16:33 UTC 2017

bad at directions gps lost Pie Chart - 3967799552 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bad at directions , gps , lost , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sweet Dreams, Goldilocks

Sunday 29 October 7:16:32 UTC 2017

cold goldilocks hot sleeping - 6391174912 Submitted by: 19Zoey88 Tagged: cold , goldilocks , hot , sleeping Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Are You Sure It's Not a Banana?

Sunday 29 October 7:16:28 UTC 2017

banana english fruits infographic languages pineapples - 4601357824 Graph by: nelde Tagged: banana , english , fruits , infographic , languages , pineapples Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Too Bad About His Moon Racing Title

Sunday 29 October 7:16:26 UTC 2017

Lance Armstrong louis armstrong moon neil armstrong Pie Chart tour de - 6546520064 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Lance Armstrong , louis armstrong , moon , neil armstrong , Pie Chart , tour de Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At Least They're the Appropriate Colors…Usually

Sunday 29 October 7:16:25 UTC 2017

food gross lunch noms Pie Chart school - 4529165824 School cafeterias have the funniest looking foods. Graph by: greenlego57 Tagged: food , gross , lunch , noms , Pie Chart , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Jobs That…

Sunday 29 October 7:16:23 UTC 2017

fast food french fries hot jobs robots temperature venn diagram - 2797991168 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: fast food , french fries , hot , jobs , robots , temperature , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hold On, I Can Open This Without Breaking My Pinky

Sunday 29 October 7:16:22 UTC 2017

door groceries Pie Chart pull push - 4997373952 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: door , groceries , Pie Chart , pull , push Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Benefits of Being a Father

Sunday 29 October 7:16:21 UTC 2017

benefit child Father good Hall of Fame legos morals Pie Chart playing values - 2542165760 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: benefit , child , Father , good , Hall of Fame , legos , morals , Pie Chart , playing , values Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Salad Dressing: Gateway to the Mind

Sunday 29 October 7:16:15 UTC 2017

ranch dressing salad dressing - 6360355584 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: ranch dressing , salad dressing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Listen Up, Roommates

Sunday 29 October 7:16:14 UTC 2017

listen up bathroom toliet paper roommates flow chart - 6836770560 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: listen up , bathroom , toliet paper , roommates , flow chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Most Common Cell Phone Uses

Sunday 29 October 7:16:13 UTC 2017

call cell phone games texting time - 1680406272 LoL by: mana122 Tagged: call , cell phone , games , texting , time Share on Facebook [Link]

Futility Closet » Early Adopters

Sunday 29 October 6:21:23 UTC 2017

Mark Twain was an early proponent of the typewriter — in 1905 he claimed that “I was the first person in the world to apply the type-machine to literature. That book must have been The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.” Actually the evidence shows that Life on the Mississippi was the first book submitted to a publisher as a typewritten manuscript, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Heroic Virginia woman flips off Trump after chasing down motorcade on bike [Amusing]

Sunday 29 October 6:17:58 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [166 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Court says man deserves new trial because of a sleepy jury [Fail]

Sunday 29 October 5:09:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are several lines of work where it is appropriate to bring your 6-year-old daughter to work on Bring Your Daughter To Work Day. "Bank robber" is not such an occupation [Dumbass]

Sunday 29 October 3:32:03 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "WATCH: Counter-protesters rock out to 'La Bamba' as white supremacist leader speaks at Tennessee march" [Amusing]

Sunday 29 October 2:38:57 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis is one of the most hated men in the world …. by Catholics [Stupid]

Sunday 29 October 1:38:35 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Serial washing machine pooper is terrorizing SIU campus. Includes helpful artist's rendering of the pooper in action (SFW) [Sick]

Sunday 29 October 1:09:01 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Unsealed documents leave little doubt that Kris Kobach is seeking to disenfranchise millions of lawfully eligible voters [News]

Sunday 29 October 0:06:17 UTC 2017

News [link] [417 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sewer scene [Photoshop]

Sunday 29 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

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