John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Police seek help identifying boobs involved in bank robbery [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 October 23:35:08 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two people shot dead at Louisiana's Gambling State University. Oh, wait. Grambling. Subby has to change his higher education plans [Scary]

Wednesday 25 October 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently the President of Madagascar has not Shut. Down. Everything because now black death is knocking on the doors of nine new countries ready to swing its sickle (possible NSFW stuff on page) [Scary]

Wednesday 25 October 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Homicide victim found in cemetery. I mean, yeah, that's where they go, right? [Strange]

Wednesday 25 October 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked 91-year-old women–is there anything they can't do? [Giggity]

Wednesday 25 October 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rail station closed after "unexploded device" found. Aren't most devices unexploded? [Strange]

Wednesday 25 October 20:20:07 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Tennis Match: Blank Canvas Edition [Photoshop]

Wednesday 25 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Natural Order

Wednesday 25 October 19:53:11 UTC 2017

“When a lion eats a man, and a man eats an ox, why is the ox more made for the man, than the man for the lion?” — Thomas Hobbes, Questions Concerning Liberty, Necessity, and Chance, 1656 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reuters investigates the world of unregulated human body brokers by purchasing two human heads, which surprisingly didn't cost an arm and a leg [Followup]

Wednesday 25 October 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who would burn a 15 ft teddy bear to the ground? Canadians. EVIL Canadians. Probably drunk evil Canadians, too [Asinine]

Wednesday 25 October 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI and CT police reveal that they found a file on the computer belonging to Newtown shooter, Adam Lanza, "advocating pedophiles' rights and the liberation of children," and "a screenplay about a relationship between an adult male and

Wednesday 25 October 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [223 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Reaching people on the internet

Wednesday 25 October 18:29:55 UTC 2017

Reaching people on the internetView on my website [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Tinder for criminals' program matches inmates with suitable prisons. Shouldn't it be called Grindr for criminals? [Murica]

Wednesday 25 October 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your newborn tests positive for meth, don't cut off their alarm bracelet, stuff it in a duffel bag and flee the hospital. And definitely don't 'hide' at home – that's the first place the cops will look for you [Asinine]

Wednesday 25 October 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nintendo 64 left behind after tires slashed. Police following trail of discarded bananas, shells, and coins [Weird]

Wednesday 25 October 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study says 66% of Winnipeg's homeless population is invisible. If I were homeless and invisible I'd probably rob a bank [Sad]

Wednesday 25 October 16:20:06 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fats Domino no longer tickling the ivories [News]

Wednesday 25 October 16:07:43 UTC 2017

News [link] [160 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » His punctuation choices once sent an editor into cardiac arrest. His Mary Sue is named Mary Sue. His purple prose runs all of the colors of the spectrum. He is the scariest writer on Fark, and this is your Fark Writer's Thread [CSB]

Wednesday 25 October 16:05:07 UTC 2017

CSB [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brother photoshops clown from 'It' into sister's engagement photos, won't have to worry about giving at toast at the wedding reception [Amusing]

Wednesday 25 October 15:50:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How much would you pay to get other people to stop crowding your national park? $70? [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 October 15:20:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [242 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Too Many Tigers

Wednesday 25 October 14:56:03 UTC 2017

In favor of species extinctions. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Virginia is all ready to start charging every driver using the busiest stretch of its busiest highway during rush hour for the privilege of doing so, but for some reason drivers aren't lining up to purchase the equipment the state needs them to h

Wednesday 25 October 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ohio is the worst place to trick-or-treat, says study conducted outside of Albert Belle's house [Obvious]

Wednesday 25 October 14:20:06 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Skating through life is no way to go, especially after the fire when the view is horrendous [Sad]

Wednesday 25 October 13:50:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well that explains a lot . . . I don't know exactly what it explains, but whatever is happening, it's explaining a lot [Giggity]

Wednesday 25 October 13:20:09 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this… um… political statement? [Photoshop]

Wednesday 25 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The best doggie Halloween costumes on parade. It's Woofday Wednesday [Cool]

Wednesday 25 October 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Big Earl the Beer-Drinking Pig

Wednesday 25 October 12:58:00 UTC 2017

Big Earl was a talented pig. He could drink a can of beer while standing on his hind legs, and then he'd eat the can. He performed this stunt in various barrooms, until the State Liquor Commission found out what was going on and ordered Big Earl to stop, citing a law against bringing pigs into bars.

At least, that's … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman crashes wedding, pours a drink on her boyfriend, punches a bridesmaid and runs to the bathroom. Then it gets weird [Florida]

Wednesday 25 October 12:50:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Republicans continue to drain the swamp by making it harder for consumers to sue banks. Thanks, Pence [Facepalm]

Wednesday 25 October 12:28:40 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Boy Scout leader accused of banging scouts' heads together". You stopped reading two words too early [Dumbass]

Wednesday 25 October 12:20:07 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Say goodbye to your local news crew [News]

Wednesday 25 October 12:06:09 UTC 2017

News [link] [213 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Starting Thursday, the TSA takes its theatrics on the road [Murica]

Wednesday 25 October 11:51:20 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Suddenly, yellow jackets [Scary]

Wednesday 25 October 11:50:08 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Like a floating red balloon, the 2017 "Fark Scary Stories" thread is waiting for you. Top 10 voted Smart or Funny stories get a sponsored month of TotalFark. We all float down here [Scary]

Wednesday 25 October 11:20:07 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [331 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's okay if high school boys are shirtless as they cheer on their school's football team. But fetch the fainting couch and pass the smelling salts if a high school girl in a sports bra wants to take off her shirt to cheer on the team [Asinin

Wednesday 25 October 10:08:09 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, dishwashers may be a fire hazard, which is weird because mine quit smoking 4 years ago this January [PSA]

Wednesday 25 October 9:28:40 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trouble was bruin at this Altadena school as intruders were found without a maul pass [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 October 8:59:08 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [16 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » So Many Ninjas

Wednesday 25 October 8:45:12 UTC 2017

ninjas invisible - 4500429568 Graph by: dantona Tagged: ninjas , invisible Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Tetris World

Wednesday 25 October 8:45:10 UTC 2017

atlas map tetris video games world - 6511558400 Graph by: (via Bartotainment) Tagged: atlas , map , tetris , video games , world Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » what radiation deos in comics/cartoons

Wednesday 25 October 8:45:09 UTC 2017

burns cancer cartoons comics cool kill mutant powers radiation Super - 3262959872 Graph by: tuiteyfruity Tagged: burns , cancer , cartoons , comics , cool , kill , mutant , powers , radiation , Super Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sometimes Laziness Is Manliness

Wednesday 25 October 8:45:08 UTC 2017

beards best of week facial hair laziness manliness Pie Chart - 6352796672 Graph by: lolfadi Tagged: beards , best of week , facial hair , laziness , manliness , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Scumbag Disney Lucas, Y U No Let Me Help With Star Wars Prequels?!

Wednesday 25 October 8:45:05 UTC 2017

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: copyright , infographic , interesting , laws , Video , years Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My God Is the Best God

Wednesday 25 October 8:45:03 UTC 2017

Bar Graph comments god Memes meta - 5158989056 Graph by: MrROFLBISCUITS Tagged: Bar Graph , comments , god , Memes , meta Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Four Loko Goes With Your Meal?

Wednesday 25 October 8:45:01 UTC 2017

food four loko funny meal paring after 12 g rated - 7939888640 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: food , four loko , funny , meal , paring , after 12 , g rated Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » According To Charles Dickens

Wednesday 25 October 8:45:00 UTC 2017

authors books literature - 1635392768 LoL by: spleen_queen Tagged: authors , books , literature Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Tienes tarea?

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:59 UTC 2017

google pie charts spanish - 4431741440 Graph by: Jenn9794 Tagged: google , pie charts , spanish Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Does the Scouter Say About His Sleep Habits?

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:58 UTC 2017

energy Line Graph over 9000 sleep - 6094938624 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: energy , Line Graph , over 9000 , sleep Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Uncomfortable Compliments

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:54 UTC 2017

Babies basic compliments cute discomfort girlfriend together uncomfortable wedding - 2299137792 Graph by: sticky_feet Tagged: Babies , basic , compliments , cute , discomfort , girlfriend , together , uncomfortable , wedding Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Know-It-Alls

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:53 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 6644714496 Graph by: firinmahlazor Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Google Make Brain Hurt

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:52 UTC 2017

brain google infographic memory - 5531961856 Submitted by: (via dailyinfographic.com) Tagged: brain , google , infographic , memory Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cloud Then vs. Cloud Now

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:50 UTC 2017

best of week cloud final fantasy RPG video games - 6119598592 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , cloud , final fantasy , RPG , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: So Many Penises

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:47 UTC 2017

chat Omegle Pie Chart - 5413401856 ^ KTHXBAI Graph by: Pika4Chu Tagged: chat , Omegle , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Lukewarm, I Am Your Shower

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:42 UTC 2017

arbitrary star wars cold faucet hot infographic shower useful - 4485118464 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: arbitrary star wars , cold , faucet , hot , infographic , shower , useful Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Tony Stark Has Too Much Money

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:40 UTC 2017

cost Movie iron man - 7399151360 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cost , Movie , iron man Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Tennis Is Hard

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:38 UTC 2017

difficult tennis getting the ball - 7379993344 Graph by: aceq007 Tagged: difficult , tennis , getting the ball Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » #whyisthistrending

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:36 UTC 2017

twitter trending graphs funny - 4494998784 Graph by: katzed Tagged: twitter , trending , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Well, Looks Like I'm Not Going to School Today

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:35 UTC 2017

alarm late Pie Chart school - 5359453184 Graph by: afcicco132 Tagged: alarm , late , Pie Chart , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What to Say When Invited to a Party.

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:33 UTC 2017

christmas invite Holiday party - 6890844928 Is your party lame? Or are you just unpopular? Use this handy chart to decode polite responses from party invitees. Graph by: radmanryano Tagged: christmas , invite , Holiday party Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Age Old Dilemma

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:31 UTC 2017

venn diagram online dating women - 7008939264 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: venn diagram , online dating , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Humans Are Just 'Meh'

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:30 UTC 2017

likes humans meh Cats - 7724046592 Graph by: greenodude Tagged: likes , humans , meh , Cats Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » We're Not so Different After All

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:29 UTC 2017

goths high school jocks nerds stereotypes venn diagram - 4648284928 Graph by: (via Dorkly) Tagged: goths , high school , jocks , nerds , stereotypes , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Rick Astley Will Do

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:27 UTC 2017

anger Music pissed off rick astley singers - 1999028992 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: anger , Music , pissed off , rick astley , singers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Respect For Pluto Over Time

Wednesday 25 October 8:44:24 UTC 2017

bomb discovery Line Graph moon neptune orbit planets pluto plutonium respect - 2410536704 Graph by: samuelm Tagged: bomb , discovery , Line Graph , moon , neptune , orbit , planets , pluto , plutonium , respect Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The first Newfie says "Hey look, UFO" and the second Newfie says "No, YOU F-O" [Strange]

Wednesday 25 October 8:00:41 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Foolish humans ruin a game of shark volleyball [Hero]

Wednesday 25 October 7:58:34 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida spends $20 million to ensure milk from a cow's udder is called 'imitation milk' [Florida]

Wednesday 25 October 7:15:03 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sarah Huckabee Sanders: "I wouldn't trust the Washington Post." Hours later: "OMG, have you seen this report in the Washington Post? It's awesome" [Stupid]

Wednesday 25 October 6:53:40 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I scream, you scream. We all scream: WTF? [Spiffy]

Wednesday 25 October 6:25:48 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Mephisto Spiral

Wednesday 25 October 6:01:32 UTC 2017

An optical illusion — the two pieces appear to be drawn apart, but they remain engaged. Here’s another video that’s shot clearly enough to give away what’s happening. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We now have an early leader for 'Idiots of the Century' as three men are seen swimming and playing inside a baited crocodile trap [Asinine]

Wednesday 25 October 5:30:31 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Clinton campaign and DNC helped pay firm to have Trump Dossier put together [News]

Wednesday 25 October 4:15:34 UTC 2017

News [link] [312 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Immigrant girl to get that abortion she always wanted that the Trump administration tried to stop [Followup]

Wednesday 25 October 3:40:55 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man can't hold his beer, says watch this [Dumbass]

Wednesday 25 October 3:10:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Retiree spent £120k pension in 6 months on a car, gambling and drink. And the rest he wasted [Obvious]

Wednesday 25 October 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Sackler family doesn't want you to know that the Sackler family got its Sackler family fortune by creating the opioid addiction epidemic, which is brought to you by the Sackler family [Sick]

Wednesday 25 October 1:17:00 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This week on Canada's Least Wanted [Amusing]

Wednesday 25 October 1:00:48 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DC ax throwing club opens with tips like "do not throw ax if someone is in front of you or near the target." What could possibly go wrong? [Scary]

Wednesday 25 October 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy stepping into a plush, stain resistant abyss [Photoshop]

Wednesday 25 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

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