John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » University bookstore employee stole over $20,000 worth of books. Officials did not turn up either textbook when searching his residence [Awkward]

Friday 20 October 23:45:35 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump takes it in the cornhole on biofuels [Fail]

Friday 20 October 23:21:31 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alaska alligator outgrows bathtub, owner in de-nile about letting it go [Strange]

Friday 20 October 22:50:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you start seeing some slightly chubby guy digging a long hole in Maryland, don't worry. It's just Elon Musk up to his old Hyperloop shenanigans again [Interesting]

Friday 20 October 22:20:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This summer, you couldn't have laptops in your carry on. Now the FAA wants to ban laptops in checked bags. They should just stop transporting passengers, it's much safer [Stupid]

Friday 20 October 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If they weren't hardened criminals before, they probably are now. (Not safe for work) [Awkward]

Friday 20 October 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption what these birds are saying to each other [Caption]

Friday 20 October 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Caption [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't worry, Fake News will still be free [Interesting]

Friday 20 October 20:50:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How many of you have a toilet in your unfinished basement? Know anyone who does? Know why? [Followup]

Friday 20 October 20:44:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this scene from the next Star Wars movie [Photoshop]

Friday 20 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Only 3 of Richard Spencer's supporters were arrested for attempted homicide at the rally yesterday [Followup]

Friday 20 October 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [314 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » MGM would like to remind you there's excitement and unpredictability and great line-of-sight views at all their hotels, not just Mandalay Bay [Facepalm]

Friday 20 October 19:18:59 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man, Garfield was WAY more hardcore than I remember (possible NSFW stuff on page) [Creepy]

Friday 20 October 18:58:01 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Southwest celebrates first 'unmanned' flight on new airplane. And by "unmanned," they mean no men [Giggity]

Friday 20 October 18:50:05 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » No, Seriously

Friday 20 October 18:40:25 UTC 2017

When Bertrand Russell was invited to China in 1920, he thought it might be a hoax — the letter was signed “Fu Ling-yu.” When the Russells reached Peking, “the mystery of Mr Fu Ling-yu was solved in the person of Professor Fu, a tall Northern Chinese, young and handsome and of extremely fine presence.” (From Dora Russell’s memoir The Tamarisk … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reserve police officer who is also Indiana University's emergency management director found asleep, allegedly drunk and covered in vomit in the driver's seat of a running car [Fail]

Friday 20 October 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In an effort to slowly bring Wisconsin into the modern age, a bill is proposed to make sex with an animal a felony [Obvious]

Friday 20 October 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That local "Haunted House" that you go to is probably filled with fire code violations. Boo [Scary]

Friday 20 October 16:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All those hipsters with their city chickens in their backyards are learning new lessons on disease vectors [Obvious]

Friday 20 October 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man accused of selling moonshine in Virginia and Tennessee caught with Fark party starter kit [Awkward]

Friday 20 October 15:50:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dolph Lundgren praises Putin by saying that only a cool man like him can keep an eye on the goddamn 5,000 nuclear warheads [Cool]

Friday 20 October 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vikings razed Iceland's forests 1,000 years ago, haven't won Super Bowl since [Interesting]

Friday 20 October 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ICE: 'California wildfires were caused by illegal aliens.' Fire investigators: 'uh, no they weren't.' ICE: 'ILLEGAL ALIENS' [Murica]

Friday 20 October 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [184 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's drunk, there's falling-down drunk, and there's "I didn't know I blew a guy in the pub until they told me in jail the next day". Wonder what her Fark handle is [Facepalm]

Friday 20 October 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Yorkers fell for the meanest fast-food hoax. EVER [Sick]

Friday 20 October 13:34:18 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [182 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this lion that loves strawberries [Photoshop]

Friday 20 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thong jeans hit the runway and you clicked. I think we're alone now [Asinine]

Friday 20 October 12:50:06 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [161 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Shadowgraph measures beauty

Friday 20 October 12:25:01 UTC 2017

It's interesting that they always have the contestants stand at a slight angle. You'd think it would be easier to have them stand facing the shadowgraph, in order to standardize the measurements.

Minneapolis Star – July 25, 1939

Chicago Tribune – July 24, 1939

Bristol Daily Courier – July 27, 1939 [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #331

Friday 20 October 12:25:00 UTC 2017

Puppet experts are always to be trusted. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SMART train hits dumbass [Dumbass]

Friday 20 October 12:01:10 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Somebody wake up CNN, the search for Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 has resumed [Facepalm]

Friday 20 October 11:53:07 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you are a smoker and perform cunnilingus, you could get cancer. However, if you smoke *while* performing cunnilingus, then you have some really farked up priorities [Weird]

Friday 20 October 10:23:06 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even Australian frogs are dangerous, well at least to snakes [Creepy]

Friday 20 October 9:40:50 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [36 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Burn the Bacon!

Friday 20 October 9:36:56 UTC 2017

alarm annoying cooking fire Pie Chart - 4622972672 Graph by: popiop4 Tagged: alarm , annoying , cooking , fire , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Also Remember What Accidents Look Like

Friday 20 October 9:36:55 UTC 2017

car drivers ed driving license Pie Chart - 4943629312 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: car , drivers ed , driving , license , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Sunday: Feet Meet Balls

Friday 20 October 9:36:54 UTC 2017

feet football sports super bowl venn diagram - 5782871296 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: feet , football , sports , super bowl , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Buttered Bag! My Favorite!

Friday 20 October 9:36:53 UTC 2017

Bar Graph butter food Popcorn - 5858416128 Graph by: snuglbun Tagged: Bar Graph , butter , food , Popcorn Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The "Plus" in Google+ is to be Read with Sarcasm

Friday 20 October 9:36:52 UTC 2017

google+ Pie Chart social media youtube google+ - 7889795328 How many billion people think the same as me? Graph by: JapanYoshiTheGamer Tagged: google+ , Pie Chart , social media , youtube , google+ Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When I'm Trying to Find the Answer to a Question

Friday 20 October 9:36:51 UTC 2017

answers google questions the internet yahoo answers - 3695647488 When I'm Trying to Find the Answer to a Question Graph by: Unknown Tagged: answers , google , questions , the internet , yahoo answers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: I'm Just That Manly

Friday 20 October 9:36:50 UTC 2017

beard facial hair laziness manly Pie Chart - 6366673920 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: beard , facial hair , laziness , manly , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bonus: No Creepy Villager From Animal Crossing

Friday 20 October 9:36:49 UTC 2017

pie charts super smash bros melee graphs video games funny nintendo - 7563362560 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pie charts , super smash bros , melee , graphs , video games , funny , nintendo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Queen of Hairstyles

Friday 20 October 9:36:48 UTC 2017

queen Music hair styles band - 7025185792 Graph by: (via Pixarplanet) Tagged: queen , Music , hair styles , band Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The glass is half…

Friday 20 October 9:36:45 UTC 2017

optimist pessimist - 1626246912 LoL by: Keeskind Tagged: optimist , pessimist Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Look Like They're Having So Much Fun

Friday 20 October 9:36:44 UTC 2017

best of week douche bags friends Maps school teachers truancy story - 5699723008 Graph by: styxman34 Tagged: best of week , douche bags , friends , Maps , school , teachers , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Do the Ladies Really Have Hairy Pits?

Friday 20 October 9:36:43 UTC 2017

Bar Graph food france people wine - 4994113280 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , food , france , people , wine Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Whooooo Are You? Who, Who… Who, Who

Friday 20 October 9:36:42 UTC 2017

occupy Occupy Wall Street Pie Chart who are you - 5385863424 Graph by: BenReilly (via www.fastcompany.com) Tagged: occupy , Occupy Wall Street , Pie Chart , who are you Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Else Do You Need?

Friday 20 October 9:36:37 UTC 2017

bewbees magazines men Pie Chart sports - 6419098368 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bewbees , magazines , men , Pie Chart , sports Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Referee Signals Actually Mean

Friday 20 October 9:36:35 UTC 2017

best of week hand signals olympics sports trufax volleyball - 6488251904 Want more London Olympics content? ROFLympics has been awarded the gold medal of awesomeness! Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: best of week , hand signals , olympics , sports , trufax , volleyball Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Meh

Friday 20 October 9:36:34 UTC 2017

apathy best of week care nothing Pie Chart - 5159928832 Graph by: worksucks Tagged: apathy , best of week , care , nothing , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Today On Fox News

Friday 20 October 9:36:33 UTC 2017

fox news news Pie Chart sports Tiger Woods - 2950945536 Graph by: coolio2345 Tagged: fox news , news , Pie Chart , sports , Tiger Woods Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bitter Apart, More Bitter Together

Friday 20 October 9:36:29 UTC 2017

bitter lemons old men parties sour venn diagram - 4356778752 Graph by: ThebigJBIG Tagged: bitter , lemons , old men , parties , sour , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Cost of Your Computers

Friday 20 October 9:36:28 UTC 2017

computers infographic money technology - 7941115392 Graph by: NowSourcing (via www.crucial.com) Tagged: computers , infographic , money , technology Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How to Find Bacon in a Car

Friday 20 October 9:36:27 UTC 2017

bacon car gas - 5853851392 Where to find tasty bacon in your car in four easy steps Submitted by: lOljaysimpsons Tagged: bacon , car , gas Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Know I Can Make it Myself…

Friday 20 October 9:36:22 UTC 2017

Oreos graphs funny - 4490292992 …but then what do I do with all the leftover cookie parts? Graph by: Tox_Mace Tagged: Oreos , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Trust Me, It's Needed

Friday 20 October 9:36:20 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4498909440 Graph by: iagolima Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Linear Progression of Facebook Suckery

Friday 20 October 9:36:19 UTC 2017

facebook friends internet suck welcome - 1811299072 LoL by: thepacz Tagged: facebook , friends , internet , suck , welcome Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Strange Laws

Friday 20 October 9:36:15 UTC 2017

best of week bizzare legal strange - 5834294784 Graph by: Garrett858 (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: best of week , bizzare , legal , strange Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Your Ticket to Hilarity

Friday 20 October 9:36:13 UTC 2017

depth perception fun and games one eye venn diagram - 6526297344 Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: depth perception , fun and games , one eye , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Always Check Your Work

Friday 20 October 9:36:12 UTC 2017

errors graphs funny - 7445989120 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: errors , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Good News, Everyone!

Friday 20 October 9:36:09 UTC 2017

futurama Good News Everyone i-dont-want-to-live-in-t Pie Chart professor truancy story - 5866123008 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: futurama , Good News Everyone , i-dont-want-to-live-in-t , Pie Chart , professor , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Am Majoring in Physics

Friday 20 October 9:36:07 UTC 2017

physics lightsaber star wars Pie Chart Jedi - 6774543616 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: physics , lightsaber , star wars , Pie Chart , Jedi Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Group is trying to convince Amazon to build its headquarters in remote Anchorage, Alaska. Good luck with all that [Unlikely]

Friday 20 October 8:50:53 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Note to Self: Start Packing Billy a Lunch.

Friday 20 October 8:25:02 UTC 2017

Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school! Everett, Washington Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Told You Duct Tape Will Fix Anything

Friday 20 October 8:25:01 UTC 2017

Worker #1: Did you hear about the industrial accident the other day?
Worker #2: No, what happened?
Worker #1: A cable broke and took out his whole left side!
Worker #2: Oh no!
Worker #1: It's okay, he's all right now. Marysville, Washington Overheard by: Noah [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We Heart NYC.

Friday 20 October 8:25:00 UTC 2017

Radio host: Just give me hand signals–5 fingers, 5 minutes left. 4, 3, 2, 1.
New producer: Okay, but I'm using whichever finger I want for “one minute.” Varrick St
New York City, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Let's Just Say It Involved The Economist

Friday 20 October 8:24:59 UTC 2017

Colleague: I just had a sense of perverse satisfaction in the gents toilets. York
England Overheard by: Yuck [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Every Episode Of Real Housewives Of NYC, in a Nutshell.

Friday 20 October 8:24:58 UTC 2017

Employee #1, walking into kitchen: Oh look, it's the two people in this office I hate the most.
Employee #2: Good, I think you should get upset and leave. Manhattan, New York Overheard by: tbomb [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Says So on Her Jeans

Friday 20 October 8:24:57 UTC 2017

Younger coworker: Oh, had her water broken?
Grandmotherly coworker: No, not yet.
Younger coworker: So, what was all the liquid then?
Grandmotherly coworker: I don't know. She's just juicy, I guess. Kalamazoo, Michigan Overheard by: Sorry I caught up with them [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Asked You First

Friday 20 October 8:24:56 UTC 2017

Customer: How many pieces of chicken are in the 12-piece meal?
Employee: Are you fucking with me? Thornton, Colorado [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 9AM Rise and Shine

Friday 20 October 8:24:55 UTC 2017

Sales Manager: You are really getting on my nerves today!
General Manager: Good, I can cross that off my list! 2700 Corporate Exchange Drive
Columbus, Ohio [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 2PM Diversity Initiative

Friday 20 October 8:24:54 UTC 2017

Secretary: Hey, I haven’t seen you for a while. You been on vacation?
Associate: No, I’ve been here.
Secretary: I just love running into you. You look just like that guy from Whose Line Is It Anyway. That black guy…What’s his name?
Associate: Oh, really? No one’s ever told me that before.
Secretary: It’s ok, right? Because he’s my favorite. … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » My Mental Celebration: Coke Orgy. You?

Friday 20 October 8:24:53 UTC 2017

President: I know that the budget cuts have hit everyone very hard, but we want you to know that we appreciate everyone’s hard work and efforts and we think that you should all take the time to celebrate…er…in your own minds. 3081 Zanker Road
San Jose, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What a maroon [Satire]

Friday 20 October 7:05:07 UTC 2017

Satire [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Progress

Friday 20 October 6:46:06 UTC 2017

Last year I mentioned that during Scotland’s 1904 Antarctic expedition, piper Gilbert Kerr had serenaded a penguin: Well, by Ernest Shackleton’s expedition three years later they’d advanced to gramophones: This doesn’t seem to have gone any better, but it’s increasingly clear that we’re the obtuse ones. Shackleton’s biologist, James Murray, wrote, “They came up to a party of strangers in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » His guitar wants to kill his mama…and did [Scary]

Friday 20 October 6:45:59 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man with Britain's smallest penis lands job with slogan appropriate for his notoriety [Amusing]

Friday 20 October 4:56:31 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kid brought butterknife to school. For lunch. So, obviously the kid needed to be taught a lesson [Florida]

Friday 20 October 3:55:11 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Neo-Nazi Richard Spencer says it hurt a lot when he got punched in the face [Amusing]

Friday 20 October 3:35:41 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [348 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS uses Facebook, LinkedIN, Google +, Instagram to recruit jihadis, marking the first time LinkedIN got anyone a job [Stupid]

Friday 20 October 3:05:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you were wondering what it takes to stay looking young urine for a surprise [Unlikely]

Friday 20 October 2:55:31 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Penal system sued for not helping hardened criminal [Weeners]

Friday 20 October 2:29:23 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » …and the biggest WTF of 2017 belongs to [Scary]

Friday 20 October 2:20:18 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former cop charged with manslaughter for killing his daughter's non-white boyfriend, claiming that he feared for his life when he saw a black person offering a handshake [Sick]

Friday 20 October 1:48:09 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [185 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spam heists on the rise in Hawaii, feeding growing black market. Viking mob involvement rumored [Strange]

Friday 20 October 1:36:54 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's not often that a Catfishing story has a happy ending. Outside of Louisiana, that is [Cool]

Friday 20 October 1:30:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » States tightening the leash on fake service dogs, expect to choke off the problem shortly. Your dog wants some breathing room [Interesting]

Friday 20 October 0:31:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CIA fires trainee for repeated displays of apathy and disinterest, and then promptly outs her to the world on twitter, ruining future career prospects. Nice work, CIA [Spiffy]

Friday 20 October 0:15:02 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Completely legitimate ghost activity caught on several security cameras of city, right in the middle of shot, which perfectly ties in with anecdotal testimonies from staff and regulars. No fishing wire or desperate attempts at free publicity here [Un

Friday 20 October 0:10:04 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Broke and cannot pay for your spouse's funeral arrangement? Off to jail you go [Dumbass]

Friday 20 October 0:05:57 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Get busted in a diesel theft ring, grace us with an epic mugshot [Amusing]

Friday 20 October 0:05:38 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm rubber your glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. NO YOU'RE THE COLLUDER. Our president, ladies and gentlemen [Facepalm]

Friday 20 October 0:01:07 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: a bong, a thong, and a song [Photoshop]

Friday 20 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Archive

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