John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Boiling river of wine / Sweet Jesus / Boiling river of wine / Flowing through a cha-arred winery / Boiling river of wine [Sad]

Wednesday 11 October 23:40:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While we were agonizing over Las Vegas last week, there was an attempted airport bombing in North Carolina [Scary]

Wednesday 11 October 23:34:46 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman posts photo to Facebook from her front yard; "This snake just bit me. Hurts Is it poisonous????" This is why you're safer on the couch with "Candy Crush" [Scary]

Wednesday 11 October 23:00:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Only one city in Atlantic Canada has more rats than Halifax, an impressive feat given the number of politicians there [Interesting]

Wednesday 11 October 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "So the guidelines here say it should be welded." "Meh, that's only a suggestion. Just glue it" [Asinine]

Wednesday 11 October 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Perks the Mandalay Bay offers VIPs: ✔Comped Suites ✔Free Drinks ✔Roped-off Gambling Areas ✔Use of the Freight Elevator [Stupid]

Wednesday 11 October 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is how Milwaukeans communicate now (with video demonstrating technique) [Asinine]

Wednesday 11 October 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Breaking Bad" homeowners forced to put up fence because tourists keep throwing pizzas on their roof [Amusing]

Wednesday 11 October 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: 976 sq-ft cottage sells for $1,100,000. Fark: Buyer gets no interior viewing, must make extensive repairs before close of escrow, and seller gets 7 years to live there rent free [Asinine]

Wednesday 11 October 20:10:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Japan under attack by one of their many monsters [Photoshop]

Wednesday 11 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Wednesday 11 October 19:59:26 UTC 2017

abscede
v. to move away or apart; to lose contact; to separate anachorism
n. something located in an incongruous position longinquity
n. greatness of distance; remoteness aerumnous
adj. troubled; distressed In 2007 Brazilian villagers were surprised to discover a 16-foot minke whale on a sandbank in the Tapajos River, 1,000 miles from the sea. Apparently it had got separated from … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you trying to kill me? Haha, no, want to go skydiving? [Awkward]

Wednesday 11 October 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Memorial to slaveowner Thomas Jefferson being attacked by laser-wielding assailants [Interesting]

Wednesday 11 October 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boy Scouts to allow girls to join. If only there had previously been some sort of organization to teach teamwork, knowledge and skill sets for young females. Perhaps even sell some sort of baked item for financial support [PSA]

Wednesday 11 October 19:12:30 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [263 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Radioactive wild ________ in _______ are eating nuclear _________ [Scary]

Wednesday 11 October 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » African Christians using the reverse missionary position help Brits come closer to God [Interesting]

Wednesday 11 October 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toddler needs to tinkle at restaurant, mom hands his bowl from the table for him to pee in instead of taking him to the bathroom, then argues with horrified fellow diners that the restaurant was going to wash it anyway [Sick]

Wednesday 11 October 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [191 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Something just punched a hole the size of Maine in the Antarctic ice, just next to those recently discovered Mountains of Madness [Strange]

Wednesday 11 October 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » EVERYBODY PANIC! Except us, we got Fark [Weird]

Wednesday 11 October 16:46:31 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kenya court, parliament elect Muddy Waters – wait, I don't think I read that quite right [Interesting]

Wednesday 11 October 15:50:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A handy guide to working with women for stubble-crusted swamp orcs [Interesting]

Wednesday 11 October 15:20:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [309 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #328

Wednesday 11 October 15:10:47 UTC 2017

As you can see, this ad appeared in the April issue of EBONY magazine, thus rendering any possible connection to Halloween, the time of ghosts, utterly irrelevant. What is the excuse for the pun, then? Because Herb-Ox represents the ghost of a cow? It's utterly arbitrary and unseductive and not germane to the product. Yet some ad guy obviously thought … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Headline ready-made for Fark: Facebook users help deputies sniff out illegal manure dumper (w/pic of illegal manure to the left, various cover band artists to the right) [Asinine]

Wednesday 11 October 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Catalonia changes its relationship status with Spain to "It's Complicated" [Followup]

Wednesday 11 October 14:20:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cleveland: Where even dogs get carjacked [Strange]

Wednesday 11 October 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You see a shark fin cruising in the pool while you swim. Do you A) Pull the fake fin off your joker husband, B) Run screaming from the pool or C) Grab the shark and carry it to the sea to release it? (Hint: Australia) [Cool]

Wednesday 11 October 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these samurai [Photoshop]

Wednesday 11 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » May you get a lagom amount of sleep tonight. If you're Scandinavian, you know exactly what we're talking about. If you're American, this concept is so foreign to you you're already reading the next headline [Spiffy]

Wednesday 11 October 12:19:49 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know you're cursed when you adopt the one cat in the world who loves and embraces the Spray Bottle of Justice [Weird]

Wednesday 11 October 12:05:48 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together and welcome Ophelia to the 2017 Hurricane Club. Take a bow, Ophelia, and wave to the crowd [Followup]

Wednesday 11 October 12:05:46 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are a lot of proper and effective ways to teach students about slavery in America. Having them play a video game where they assume the role of a 14-year-old slave girl trying to escape a plantation may not be the most effective [Strange]

Wednesday 11 October 11:59:26 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [99 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Pass the Dutchie

Wednesday 11 October 11:37:54 UTC 2017

From 1980s Childhood by Michael A. Johnson:

"There's a common misconception that Musical Youth's number one hit in 1982, Pass the Dutchie, is a song about cannabis, when in fact the song is about extreme poverty; the 'dutchie' in the lyrics refers to a type of pot used for cooking. It's an easy mistake to make though because the song … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing good can happen when you leave your little toddler behind in the middle of a corn maze all alone [Stupid]

Wednesday 11 October 11:11:27 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We've secretly replaced $80 billion in Pell Grant funding with absolutely nothing, which will force millions of students to drop out, go deeper in debt, or forego college altogether. Let's see if students notice [Sad]

Wednesday 11 October 10:30:27 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [170 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is why you never accept a drink from a pharmacist you just met on Tinder [Obvious]

Wednesday 11 October 10:27:27 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Was that a giant shark spotted swimming around the inland floodwaters created by Hurricane Nate? The answer is yes and no [Weird]

Wednesday 11 October 9:42:26 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kaspersky's antivirus software has been scanning for more than viruses since at least 2015 [Obvious]

Wednesday 11 October 9:12:27 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just when you thought St. Louis might have a fighting chance at the new Amazon HQ, they go and bring in Joe Buck [Facepalm]

Wednesday 11 October 8:53:49 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'ICU Grandpa' has cared for babies and children for over a decade now, and loves everything about it [Sappy]

Wednesday 11 October 8:43:43 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [9 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Money Well Spent

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:50 UTC 2017

games ipad money Pie Chart - 6040628224 I like drawing. Submitted by: Bottycrap Tagged: games , ipad , money , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Selective Memory

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:49 UTC 2017

memory memorable MTV VMAs miley cyrus - 7767193088 Graph by: 314master Tagged: memory , memorable , MTV VMAs , miley cyrus Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Are You New Here?

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:47 UTC 2017

no Pie Chart agreement - 7035608576 Graph by: (via @BenGreenman) Tagged: no , Pie Chart , agreement Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Just Like the Clicking Noise it Makes

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:46 UTC 2017

pie charts turn signals drivers graphs funny - 4480308992 Graph by: NiciS Tagged: pie charts , turn signals , drivers , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » COMEDY GOLD!

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:44 UTC 2017

horrible jokes graphjam - 5231187968 Graph by: Luther_Zimmerman Tagged: horrible , jokes , graphjam Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Like They Know

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:43 UTC 2017

alarm dorm fire drills Pie Chart student - 5789876736 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: alarm , dorm , fire drills , Pie Chart , student Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Graph, This Is

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:42 UTC 2017

Pie Chart star wars there is no try yoda - 6204419072 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pie Chart , star wars , there is no try , yoda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What About Doing It For the Science, You Monster?

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:40 UTC 2017

ai gladOS major Pie Chart Portal truancy story - 5534800384 Graph by: pwjones Tagged: ai , gladOS , major , Pie Chart , Portal , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Got 99 Problems

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:38 UTC 2017

life people Pie Chart problems - 4572220928 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: life , people , Pie Chart , problems Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mom, Are Holding a Shot Glass?

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:37 UTC 2017

Awkward Bar Graph facebook friends - 4614102528 Graph by: cartographer1973 Tagged: Awkward , Bar Graph , facebook , friends Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Go Hammy, Go!

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:34 UTC 2017

animals boxes reactions - 5130213376 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: animals , boxes , reactions Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Screw You Guys, I'm Going To Win Accolades

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:31 UTC 2017

brief history infographic knowledge overload South Park television - 3833613824 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: brief history , infographic , knowledge overload , South Park , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Man, The Mystery, The Meme

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:30 UTC 2017

cant-read-my face lady gaga meme Pie Chart poker - 4399342336 Graph by: FlyingPanda Tagged: cant-read-my , face , lady gaga , meme , Pie Chart , poker Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Happy Ending?

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:29 UTC 2017

bella ending happy Line Graph movies twilight - 4281440768 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bella , ending , happy , Line Graph , movies , twilight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sounds Dirty

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:27 UTC 2017

conker Movie The Hobbit British Pie Chart - 6953304832 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: conker , Movie , The Hobbit , British , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Can't Tell if Hot or Terrifying

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:26 UTC 2017

brazil How People View Me Pie Chart scary - 4957707776 Graph by: Renato0502 Tagged: brazil , How People View Me , Pie Chart , scary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Causes Shoplifting Alarms

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:24 UTC 2017

alarm merchandise nothing paid Pie Chart shoplifters shoplifting - 2689663488 Graph by: Noha307 Tagged: alarm , merchandise , nothing , paid , Pie Chart , shoplifters , shoplifting Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reload Save Point, Please?

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:22 UTC 2017

frustrating IRL Pie Chart video games - 4701004288 I need a do-over! Graph by: Evertide Tagged: frustrating , IRL , Pie Chart , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Ultimate Travel Bucket List

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:19 UTC 2017

bucket list infographic Travel - 7897488640 Graph by: Mark Porter (via Love Home Swap) Tagged: bucket list , infographic , Travel Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At Least They Finally Got Rid of Clippy

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:17 UTC 2017

clippy computers F1 help Microsoft Office Pie Chart - 5881647872 Graph by: jstohler Tagged: clippy , computers , F1 , help , Microsoft Office , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They're Too Mainstream to Understand What It Is

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:15 UTC 2017

annoying hipsters mainstream Pie Chart - 4975437568 Graph by: kenbez123 Tagged: annoying , hipsters , mainstream , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Royal Wedding?

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:14 UTC 2017

kate middleton Pie Chart prince william UK wedding - 4696940544 Graph by: s.hill306 Tagged: kate middleton , Pie Chart , prince william , UK , wedding Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Most Recognized Captains

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:13 UTC 2017

captain captain america captain crunch captain hook captain morgan sea - 2338489600 Graph by: jennnyyyp Tagged: captain , captain america , captain crunch , captain hook , captain morgan , sea Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What People Do After a Small Earthquake.

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:12 UTC 2017

earthquakes facebook love people scream small - 2327575296 Graph by: ghaddiction Tagged: earthquakes , facebook , love , people , scream , small Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chances I am the 999,999th visitor to a given website

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:09 UTC 2017

ads internet spam technology website - 1621385472 LoL by: GrZ Tagged: ads , internet , spam , technology , website Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Do They Know?

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:08 UTC 2017

attraction Bar Graph dating relationships women - 6436903424 Source: Manipudating Graph by: Unknown Tagged: attraction , Bar Graph , dating , relationships , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Here Comes the Money!

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:07 UTC 2017

barack obama election 2012 Mitt Romney politics presidential - 6544783872 Graph by: (via Forbes) Tagged: barack obama , election 2012 , Mitt Romney , politics , presidential Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Songs on my iPod

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:06 UTC 2017

ipod listen own Songs venn diagram - 2977980160 Graph by: Tagged: ipod , listen , own , Songs , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'd Say Prove Me Wrong, But You'd Only Be Proving Me Right

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:04 UTC 2017

open mouth talk IQ inverse - 7703922432 Submitted by: Will Lerch Tagged: open mouth , talk , IQ , inverse Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Musicians In The 80's Spent Their Money

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:03 UTC 2017

80s alcohol booze hairspray leather money Music musicians spending women - 2040269568 Graph by: loonyluna48 Tagged: 80s , alcohol , booze , hairspray , leather , money , Music , musicians , spending , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who Needs Pants?

Wednesday 11 October 8:01:02 UTC 2017

wtf pants happy - 5138660096 Graph by: PwnPal Tagged: wtf , pants , happy Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Officer who arrested hospital nurse for refusing to draw blood discharged [Followup]

Wednesday 11 October 7:03:15 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Does the post-millennial generation have a name yet? [Hero]

Wednesday 11 October 6:14:09 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Fifth Element

Wednesday 11 October 6:09:03 UTC 2017

Charles W. Trigg offered this puzzle in the Fall 1977 issue of Pi Mu Epsilon Journal (PDF): This square array contains the first 25 positive integers. Choose five, no two from the same row or column, so that the largest of the five elements is as small as possible, and justify your choice. SelectClick for Answer Sidney Penner of Bronx … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If we kill all humans, we'll be able to prevent fires in California. Baby, you had me at "kill all humans" [Obvious]

Wednesday 11 October 5:04:21 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School district will pay $3.4 million to settle a 12-year-old lawsuit over former teacher's sexual misconduct with third graders. Fark: District's defense asserted the girls were "old enough to appreciate the consequences of their actions

Wednesday 11 October 4:13:03 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's Fark-ready headline (and pun-packed story): "Too much cheese lands van man in pickle with police" [Amusing]

Wednesday 11 October 4:02:59 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two Baltimore cops involved in Freddie Gray's death agree to accept unspecified "disciplinary action" despite admitting to no violation of any "policies, procedures or practices of the BPD." So…I guess they just like being disci

Wednesday 11 October 3:59:08 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » God would not punch a cop in the head, not even in Florida [Florida]

Wednesday 11 October 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "It is a fractured country where no one seems to be in control of the situation," said Zahid Hussain about a country with a nuclear arsenal of ~90 nuclear weapons [Scary]

Wednesday 11 October 1:50:55 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People use search engines for just about everything like how to plant flowers, do home repairs. This guy used search engines on how to rob banks. However he forgot to search for how not to get caught robbing banks [Florida]

Wednesday 11 October 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm pregnant. It's yours [Dumbass]

Wednesday 11 October 1:00:37 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [428 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OW my jihadi BALLS [Weird]

Wednesday 11 October 0:58:55 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Only in New Orleans could you have a miniature coffin scavenger hunt with clues on Instagram [Cool]

Wednesday 11 October 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what's in this bowl [Photoshop]

Wednesday 11 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Archive

18 Dec 2017  17 Dec 2017  16 Dec 2017  15 Dec 2017  14 Dec 2017  13 Dec 2017  12 Dec 2017  11 Dec 2017  10 Dec 2017  09 Dec 2017  08 Dec 2017  07 Dec 2017  06 Dec 2017  05 Dec 2017  04 Dec 2017  03 Dec 2017  02 Dec 2017  01 Dec 2017  30 Nov 2017  29 Nov 2017  28 Nov 2017  27 Nov 2017  26 Nov 2017  25 Nov 2017  24 Nov 2017  23 Nov 2017  22 Nov 2017  21 Nov 2017  20 Nov 2017  19 Nov 2017  18 Nov 2017  17 Nov 2017  

No Comments

0 responses so far ↓

  • There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.

You must log in to post a comment.