John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Tampa police shut down 'Rick & Morty' Rickmobile event after crowd surpassed 1,500 [Florida]

Thursday 28 September 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A) See a truck on fire with a boy trapped inside. B) Break glass door to retrieve fire extinguisher. C) Be told that using a fire extinguisher that doesn't belong to you is theft and you're not allowed to steal it, no matter what your intenti

Thursday 28 September 23:29:37 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snorkeler out spearfishing discovers nurse sharks are named that way for reasons. "Get the damn thing off of me" (w/video goodness) [Florida]

Thursday 28 September 23:20:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yes, professional beer taster is a real job, and this brewery is hiring [PSA]

Thursday 28 September 22:20:04 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five years ago a frat held a press conference to deny they all liked buttchugging [Amusing]

Thursday 28 September 22:20:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baby Boomers can now directly suck the livelihood out of the younger generations [Interesting]

Thursday 28 September 21:46:44 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Julia Louis-Dreyfus: 1 in 8 women get breast cancer. Today, I'm the one [Sad]

Thursday 28 September 21:20:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This might surprise you but it turns out that tattooing your eyeballs is actually not a great idea [Dumbass]

Thursday 28 September 21:11:53 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Ever try to reproduce something tasty from a restaurant you've been to? How did it go for you… and what did you make? C'mon, Farkers, help us enjoy the good stuff in the comforts of home [Interesting]

Thursday 28 September 21:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grab your paddle and crack open a Molson, the Mounties can no longer pinch Canadians for drunk canoeing [Amusing]

Thursday 28 September 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Normally we don't approve of gimmick minor league baseball team names, but we will make this one exception [Spiffy]

Thursday 28 September 20:38:03 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these fashionable eye thingies [Photoshop]

Thursday 28 September 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Instructor injured in sheriff's use-of-force drill. Sounds like they're learning, all right [Florida]

Thursday 28 September 19:50:03 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge denies 'stand your ground' defense in Florida beating death, because apparently it's not a complete get out of jail free card [Florida]

Thursday 28 September 19:20:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anyone missing a gorilla arm? One has washed up on the shore in Ireland and everyone is going bananas trying to find out who it belongs to (NSFW content on page) [Weird]

Thursday 28 September 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Imminent danger in California: "just got an emergency alert on my phone because it's going to be slightly over 80 in SF today" [Silly]

Thursday 28 September 18:20:04 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently Hugh Hefner took so much Viagra he had an infuction in his ear [Weird]

Thursday 28 September 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toddler commits treason against the crown by stealing popcorn from Prince Harry. However, she was spared the usual incarceration and beheading [Sappy]

Thursday 28 September 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anybody here got a brain cloud and want to do something heroic? [Scary]

Thursday 28 September 16:50:03 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 3-year-old goes full gangsta in day care center, wounds two toddlers in naptime shootout [Scary]

Thursday 28 September 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [203 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Local newspaper publishes irrefutable evidence of existence of imprisoned aliens and weird green men at Wright-Patterson AFB, home of Project Blue Book. I call bullshiat: everyone knows there's no such thing as a "newspaper" [Interesting]

Thursday 28 September 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian Burger King wants to ban IT because Pennywise looks like Ronald McDonald [Facepalm]

Thursday 28 September 15:20:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Characters from yonder website. "That's right" [Amusing]

Thursday 28 September 14:13:38 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You maniacs! You created Skynet. Ah, damn you. God damn you all to hell! [Facepalm]

Thursday 28 September 14:04:27 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study ranks Illinois third in nation for dogs eating marijuana. Dogs playing poker still OK though [Amusing]

Thursday 28 September 13:50:03 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Neighbors try to stop thousands of cockroaches streaming out of manhole into their neighborhood, are terrified of what could be scaring them out of the sewer [Creepy]

Thursday 28 September 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this spoon [Photoshop]

Thursday 28 September 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you want your flu shot to be more effective, try to be in a good mood when you get one [Unlikely]

Thursday 28 September 12:32:38 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Adjunct professor, how bad can that be? Well, if you don't mind hooking and sleeping in your car, not that bad [Scary]

Thursday 28 September 12:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [229 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » America's unhealthy amount of sleep every day should keep you up at night [Scary]

Thursday 28 September 11:56:38 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [84 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Lincoln-Scented Candle

Thursday 28 September 11:42:51 UTC 2017

When you want your room to smell like Abraham Lincoln.

Other scents available include Theodore Roosevelt, Justin Trudeau, Ronald Reagan, Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin, and Rutherford B. Hayes.

Link: Amazon.com

via Worst Things For Sale [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So NYC's MTA spent $100m constructing new pylons, and when asked what they were for, the Zerglings could only answer "No kekekekecomment" [Creepy]

Thursday 28 September 11:21:35 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunk driver's attempt to get food from a closed McDonald's ends in McFlurry-free jail cell and merciless mocking by the police [Fail]

Thursday 28 September 10:49:25 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [27 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Also, Reloading Cause You Got Killed Twenty Times

Thursday 28 September 10:36:55 UTC 2017

boss battle Pie Chart Skyrim video games - 5666472192 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: boss battle , Pie Chart , Skyrim , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wasting Any of It Would Be an Affront to God

Thursday 28 September 10:36:53 UTC 2017

affront to god best of week delicioius food nutella wasting - 5843617792 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: affront to god , best of week , delicioius , food , nutella , wasting Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: I'll Just Take Care of It Later…

Thursday 28 September 10:36:52 UTC 2017

best of week computer update updating - 5365675264 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , computer , update , updating Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Thanks, Smoke Detector

Thursday 28 September 10:36:51 UTC 2017

cooking smoke detector Pie Chart - 7120867328 Graph by: CrazyCalvinWilliams Tagged: cooking , smoke detector , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Graph JAM

Thursday 28 September 10:36:50 UTC 2017

Bar Graph butter graph jam IRL jam jelly restaurant - 4130617088 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , butter , graph jam , IRL , jam , jelly , restaurant Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Using Binoculars

Thursday 28 September 10:36:49 UTC 2017

binoculars looking object Pie Chart watching - 2641851648 Graph by: TacoMan72 Tagged: binoculars , looking , object , Pie Chart , watching Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The King's Speech Could Take a Lesson

Thursday 28 September 10:36:48 UTC 2017

actors drama glee kings-speech musicals oscars television venn diagram - 4493734656 Graph by: hadleyhansen Tagged: actors , drama , glee , kings-speech , musicals , oscars , television , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Far Away is Iowa?

Thursday 28 September 10:36:47 UTC 2017

united states map Iowa - 7847207680 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: united states , map , Iowa Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Going to Die

Thursday 28 September 10:36:46 UTC 2017

video game minecraft Pie Chart - 5290649600 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: video game , minecraft , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It Screwdrives Me Insane

Thursday 28 September 10:36:44 UTC 2017

drop furniture ikea lap Pie Chart screws what how - 4517046272 Graph by: jlakanen Tagged: drop , furniture , ikea , lap , Pie Chart , screws , what how Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Hate Being English

Thursday 28 September 10:36:43 UTC 2017

english one direction Pie Chart pie charts - 6477739776 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: english , one direction , Pie Chart , pie charts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Ever Dangerous Punji Pit Strikes Again

Thursday 28 September 10:36:41 UTC 2017

spikes orcs undead skeletons - 7658743808 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: spikes , orcs , undead , skeletons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Can Has Summer Back?

Thursday 28 September 10:36:40 UTC 2017

back to school cute lolcats yearbook - 5157215744 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: back to school , cute , lolcats , yearbook Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Guess When This Graph Was Made

Thursday 28 September 10:36:39 UTC 2017

graphs line graphs funny summer vacation - 7612692480 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: graphs , line graphs , funny , summer vacation Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Augh, It Burns!

Thursday 28 September 10:36:38 UTC 2017

Bar Graph bathing pain shampoo shower - 4794197760 Graph by: mikkins Tagged: Bar Graph , bathing , pain , shampoo , shower Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just One More…

Thursday 28 September 10:36:37 UTC 2017

internet next page Pie Chart self referential - 6506305280 Graph by: network-failure Tagged: internet , next page , Pie Chart , self referential Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » SeaBears Don't Exist

Thursday 28 September 10:36:36 UTC 2017

circles SpongeBob SquarePants TV Pie Chart - 6945431808 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: circles , SpongeBob SquarePants , TV , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Quick! Download the Megabytes!

Thursday 28 September 10:36:35 UTC 2017

download engineering exclamation day hack megabytes Pie Chart - 4258940416 Graph by: Tagged: download , engineering , exclamation day , hack , megabytes , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Then I Make This Pie Chart

Thursday 28 September 10:36:32 UTC 2017

studying pie charts graphs funny - 4478932224 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: studying , pie charts , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 50 Insane Facts about Ireland

Thursday 28 September 10:36:31 UTC 2017

Ireland - 7787759360 Graph by: neomam (via www.competitions.ie) Tagged: Ireland Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Shoes, Really?

Thursday 28 September 10:36:30 UTC 2017

infographic phone Sad smartphone weird - 5065637376 While at the movies? Really?! Graph by: Unknown Tagged: infographic , phone , Sad , smartphone , weird Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Clapping and Mockery

Thursday 28 September 10:36:29 UTC 2017

slow clap mockery Line Graph clapping - 6878272768 When it comes to clapping, the difference between insult and praise isn't a fine line—it's a point and a curve. Graph by: kitteh_pleaz (via columnfivemedia.com) Tagged: slow clap , mockery , Line Graph , clapping Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Never Ends Well

Thursday 28 September 10:36:28 UTC 2017

pie charts graphs funny - 7575036672 Graph by: sweetiesuicune1 Tagged: pie charts , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » States the Red Hot Chili Peppers write songs about

Thursday 28 September 10:36:26 UTC 2017

california florida Music red hot chili peppers Songs states - 1904301312 LoL by: elraulix Tagged: california , florida , Music , red hot chili peppers , Songs , states Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Thoughts When A Car Alarm Goes Off

Thursday 28 September 10:36:25 UTC 2017

annoying car car alarm deactivated Pie Chart stolen - 2713421312 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: annoying , car , car alarm , deactivated , Pie Chart , stolen Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's the Closest I'm Going to Get to Being Cultured

Thursday 28 September 10:36:24 UTC 2017

cultured le Pie Chart Rage Comics self referential - 6359039744 Graph by: Dante999 Tagged: cultured , le , Pie Chart , Rage Comics , self referential Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Key to Success

Thursday 28 September 10:36:22 UTC 2017

dogs homeless money panhandler venn diagram - 6230026752 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: dogs , homeless , money , panhandler , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who are bank hours tailored for?

Thursday 28 September 10:36:19 UTC 2017

bank closed hours job labor Office opened part time physical robber unemployed - 2218008832 Graph by: Skibob Tagged: bank , closed , hours , job , labor , Office , opened , part time , physical , robber , unemployed Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Not Sure I've Ever Been There

Thursday 28 September 10:36:17 UTC 2017

browser internet Pie Chart website - 4706781952 Graph by: qwerty395 Tagged: browser , internet , Pie Chart , website Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Know the Media is Blowing Something Out ofProportion When….

Thursday 28 September 10:36:15 UTC 2017

illness killed Media overreacting sick sickness swine flu - 2089259264 Graph by: wickedsweetcake Tagged: illness , killed , Media , overreacting , sick , sickness , swine flu Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Coke > Pepsi?

Thursday 28 September 10:36:13 UTC 2017

beverages coke infographic pepsi pop soda - 4608354048 [Link]

GraphJam » How Long it Takes for Super Glue to Dry

Thursday 28 September 10:36:12 UTC 2017

dry glue metal plastic skin super glue wood - 2273192192 Graph by: Toffee99 Tagged: dry , glue , metal , plastic , skin , super glue , wood Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Better Than Bad, It's Good!

Thursday 28 September 10:36:10 UTC 2017

best of week kinect log microsoft ren and stimpy reference xbox - 6070775296 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , kinect , log , microsoft , ren and stimpy reference , xbox Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Components of Scooby-Doo Episode

Thursday 28 September 10:36:09 UTC 2017

animation chase real estate scared scooby doo shaggy - 2065124096 Graph by: geeill Tagged: animation , chase , real estate , scared , scooby doo , shaggy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pizza Pi

Thursday 28 September 10:36:08 UTC 2017

best of week equation equations math pi pizza pie puns - 6413743104 Graph by: (via Boing Boing) Tagged: best of week , equation , equations , math , pi , pizza pie , puns Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh Please Don't Be Zombies

Thursday 28 September 10:36:07 UTC 2017

fighting Pie Chart video games weapons - 5175211264 Graph by: Diaboragon Tagged: fighting , Pie Chart , video games , weapons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Notice That "Taking Instagram Selfies" Isn't on the List?

Thursday 28 September 10:36:06 UTC 2017

future skills Bar Graph internet teachers education - 7672363264 Clearly, teachers are out of touch. Graph by: (via Pew Research Center) Tagged: future skills , Bar Graph , internet , teachers , education Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No Ragrets [Dumbass]

Thursday 28 September 9:57:20 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [58 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » House Wrapped in Cellophane

Thursday 28 September 9:37:00 UTC 2017

Apparently, Christo had a predecessor.

Source of image. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The good news if you live at a site that's on the World Heritage List is that your home won't be destroyed by developers. The bad news is that getting on the list will bring a crush of tourists looking for Disney-fied experience [Sad]

Thursday 28 September 8:41:38 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » More Theatrical Codes

Thursday 28 September 6:58:19 UTC 2017

Last year I mentioned Sullivan & Considine’s Theatrical Cipher Code of 1905, a telegraphic code for “everyone connected in any way with the theatrical business.” The idea is that performers, managers, and exhibitors could save money on telegrams by replacing common phrases with short code words: Filacer – An opera company
Filament – Are they willing to appear in tights … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Americans are caught in crippling debt thanks to states that are taking away driver's licenses and putting them in a circle of despair [Fail]

Thursday 28 September 6:04:55 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [224 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White House capping refugees at 45 thousand next year because that's more than enough to accommodate those fleeing northern Europe [Stupid]

Thursday 28 September 5:24:51 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Chloe? Well, now your name's Patty" [Stupid]

Thursday 28 September 4:20:51 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 647: "Don't Burn Bridges". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 28 September 4:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Goodnight, bunny man (semi-NSFW thread) [NewsFlash]

Thursday 28 September 3:32:07 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [545 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Southwest Airlines saves the life of ungrateful woman with life-threatening pet allergies [Facepalm]

Thursday 28 September 3:05:21 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [186 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's one of those days where you can't tell if you're reading UPI or The Onion: "Toddler gets scooter-jacked by backpack-wearing poodle" [Strange]

Thursday 28 September 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coroner says Otto Warmbier's body showed no signs of torture or malnourishment [Followup]

Thursday 28 September 2:08:59 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [215 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The GOP-controlled Congress about to take healthcare from 9 million children [Sick]

Thursday 28 September 1:28:39 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [159 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former professor arrested for assaulting student in a grocery store [News]

Thursday 28 September 1:11:42 UTC 2017

News [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Minnesota in 2016: Employers can no longer ask applicants if they have a felony. Minnesota in 2017: How could a felon slip through the cracks to get this job??? [Obvious]

Thursday 28 September 1:07:44 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saudi Official fired after a photoshopped picture of deceased King with Yoda next to him appears in textbook [Followup]

Thursday 28 September 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Manafort to be served, and he's on the menu [News]

Thursday 28 September 0:14:51 UTC 2017

News [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman marries herself in ceremony complete with white dress, three-layer wedding cake, bridesmaids and 70 guests. Wouldn't it have been easier to elope? [Strange]

Thursday 28 September 0:12:54 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Small town's new seal looks pretty much identical to the one that offended everybody [Fail]

Thursday 28 September 0:06:20 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this reflective bubble [Photoshop]

Thursday 28 September 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Archive

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