John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Plastic surgery addict complains he's singled out because of the way he looks [Ironic]

Sunday 17 September 23:52:42 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ryanair doubles the number of flights canceled today after accidentally letting all their pilots take the day off [Followup]

Sunday 17 September 23:12:51 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plane crashes into catering truck at airport. Results in significant delays and saving everyone planning to order the fish [Scary]

Sunday 17 September 22:03:37 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A well-written, thought-provoking essay about internet nihilism and modernist entitlement on Cracked? That's it, humanity is doomed [Obvious]

Sunday 17 September 20:45:24 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're using your mulch wrong, dumbass [Obvious]

Sunday 17 September 20:00:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this magnificent mask [Photoshop]

Sunday 17 September 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » HOA vs little girl's pink playhouse [Murica]

Sunday 17 September 19:01:40 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [283 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Local artist/tavern owner declares "MY town won't suffer from that blight of elementary school art projects" [Asinine]

Sunday 17 September 18:55:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Donald Trump says he thinks it's gonna be a long, long time til touch down brings Kim Jong Un around to find he's not the man they think he is at home, oh no [Dumbass]

Sunday 17 September 18:21:24 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, white people will be getting tickets from cops [PSA]

Sunday 17 September 17:53:11 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes it helps if you put up a link to the quiz once it's ready to go. It's the (very late) Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz, Sept. 3-9 Tangerine Edition [Fail]

Sunday 17 September 17:18:28 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man dies in fake haunted house. On the bright side, it should be legitimately haunted now [Scary]

Sunday 17 September 16:41:10 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Would-be pizza robber arrested after other robbers beat him to the punch [Ironic]

Sunday 17 September 16:10:31 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♬ ♬ Just drop off the key, Lee. No need to destroy with a windy aria, Maria. Just say no way, Jose. There must be fifty ways to get these tropical storms out of the Atlantic Ocean. ♬ ♬ [Scary]

Sunday 17 September 15:57:09 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because most of us haven't had a raise since the Bush administration? [Obvious]

Sunday 17 September 14:20:59 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [240 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Morale Raiser

Sunday 17 September 13:42:00 UTC 2017

Also known as a pat-on-the-back machine. An earlier version of this.

Wilmington News Journal – Dec 22, 1950 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You don't own a car in NYC. You just don't. Even if you do, you don't [Dumbass]

Sunday 17 September 13:34:39 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The dress is okay, but the dominatrix boots might be a bit much for the fourth grade. That's best kept for middle school [Facepalm]

Sunday 17 September 13:15:59 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [159 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cute couple [Photoshop]

Sunday 17 September 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Always look for the helpers [CSB]

Sunday 17 September 13:00:00 UTC 2017

CSB [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, making plans for anything after next Sunday is a waste of time, what with the world coming to an end and all. No, really. This time we mean it, pinkie-swear. It's in the Bible and everything [Scary]

Sunday 17 September 12:47:59 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ryanair's plan to cancel hundreds of flights spontaneously to "improve punctuality" leaves hundreds of Dutch stranded at Netherlands airports, making the world a better place [Followup]

Sunday 17 September 11:05:59 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [62 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Your Kid's Not So Special

Sunday 17 September 10:22:58 UTC 2017

Bar Graph cuteness kids pets replotted special - 5625506560 Graph by: HStuart Tagged: Bar Graph , cuteness , kids , pets , replotted , special Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Button, Y U Do Nothing?!

Sunday 17 September 10:22:55 UTC 2017

elevators close door Pie Chart - 6909527552 Graph by: Michiell_Lathouwers Tagged: elevators , close door , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Guys Have It So Hard

Sunday 17 September 10:22:54 UTC 2017

fancy dressing clothes suit dress - 6942814208 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: fancy , dressing , clothes , suit , dress Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Debra! Go Out of my Laboratory!

Sunday 17 September 10:22:53 UTC 2017

best of week debra Dexter dexters-laboratory omelette du fromage Pie Chart - 5675707648 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , debra , Dexter , dexters-laboratory , omelette du fromage , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » On a Mac, No Less

Sunday 17 September 10:22:52 UTC 2017

computer geek movies not Pie Chart - 5048340224 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: computer , geek , movies , not , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cats and Dogs

Sunday 17 September 10:22:51 UTC 2017

dogs people facts Cats ingographic - 7683369984 Graph by: (via Pet Insurance) Tagged: dogs , people , facts , Cats , ingographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Well, This Is Depressing

Sunday 17 September 10:22:50 UTC 2017

literature read unfortunate books - 7155719168 Graph by: (via Millions Millions) Tagged: literature , read , unfortunate , books Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Marx Brothers

Sunday 17 September 10:22:49 UTC 2017

accents chico marx facial hair groucho marx harpo marx karl marx Music the marx brothers - 1639957760 LoL by: DocJ Tagged: accents , chico marx , facial hair , groucho marx , harpo marx , karl marx , Music , the marx brothers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Inflation of the 12 Days Of Christmas Gifts

Sunday 17 September 10:22:48 UTC 2017

12 days of christmas gifts christmas infaltion - 7960698624 Submitted by: (via graphs.net) Tagged: 12 days of christmas , gifts , christmas , infaltion Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Likable but Unnecessary Supporting Characters

Sunday 17 September 10:22:46 UTC 2017

Death Extras movies Pie Chart - 4683252224 Graph by: steven052 Tagged: Death , Extras , movies , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What About Downton Abbey?

Sunday 17 September 10:22:45 UTC 2017

pie charts Harry Potter movies TV doctor who graphs funny - 7590109440 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pie charts , Harry Potter , movies , TV , doctor who , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That Pretty Much Sums it Up

Sunday 17 September 10:22:44 UTC 2017

myspace graphs funny - 7529351680 Graph by: MrPopsicle43 Tagged: myspace , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I've Got to Keep It Together This Time

Sunday 17 September 10:22:42 UTC 2017

Amnesia dark descent screaming video games Pie Chart - 5287030272 Graph by: Trollednrolled Tagged: Amnesia dark descent , screaming , video games , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Comment on My Weekend Social Life

Sunday 17 September 10:22:41 UTC 2017

cookie dough Line Graph weekend eating social life happiness - 6759995392 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: cookie dough , Line Graph , weekend , eating , social life , happiness Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » America (as Labeled by an Australian)

Sunday 17 September 10:22:39 UTC 2017

too many Virginias australia america states - 7878008064 Click here to make make the image bigger. Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: too many Virginias , australia , america , states Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Many Benefits of a Stand-In Decoy

Sunday 17 September 10:22:38 UTC 2017

stand in decoy standin - 7724335360 Submitted by: (via Huffington Post) Tagged: stand in , decoy , standin Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Level of exitement of vacation in the eyes of a child

Sunday 17 September 10:22:37 UTC 2017

away before car ride child day excitement eyes Line Graph long month planning vacation - 2531087360 Graph by: TacoMan72 Tagged: away , before , car ride , child , day , excitement , eyes , Line Graph , long , month , planning , vacation Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things I'd Rather Do Than Go Shopping on Black Friday

Sunday 17 September 10:22:36 UTC 2017

shopping black friday Pie Chart - 7926097408 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: shopping , black friday , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bringing families together

Sunday 17 September 10:22:35 UTC 2017

adults cereal family kids kix - 1385277696 LoL by: wvalverde Tagged: adults , cereal , family , kids , kix Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Toys 'R' Alive?

Sunday 17 September 10:22:33 UTC 2017

buying things dont-stop Music Pie Chart run store toys - 4243232768 Graph by: CodySimpsonToronto Tagged: buying things , dont-stop , Music , Pie Chart , run , store , toys Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Complicated

Sunday 17 September 10:22:32 UTC 2017

TV doctor who story - 6983541504 Graph by: (via @Hera_99) Tagged: TV , doctor who , story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who Said It?

Sunday 17 September 10:22:28 UTC 2017

best of week Mitt Romney money mr burns politics - 5940425984 Graph by: (via Mad Magazine) Tagged: best of week , Mitt Romney , money , mr burns , politics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Don't Want to Live on this Planet Anymore

Sunday 17 September 10:22:27 UTC 2017

Bar Graph gaga hitler i-dont-want-to-live-on-t the biebs the internets whatdoestheinternetthink - 6009096704 Graph by: Ventilator Tagged: Bar Graph , gaga , hitler , i-dont-want-to-live-on-t , the biebs , the internets , whatdoestheinternetthink Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Summon the Dark Lord Pretty Regularly

Sunday 17 September 10:22:26 UTC 2017

computers old people parents venn diagram - 4829126144 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: computers , old people , parents , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Liked Them Before People Liked Them Before They Were Mainstream

Sunday 17 September 10:22:24 UTC 2017

discography hipster Music true - 5001840384 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: discography , hipster , Music , true Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Homework's For Squares

Sunday 17 September 10:22:22 UTC 2017

homework school study hall middle school Pie Chart - 6919939584 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: homework , school , study hall , middle school , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » MATERIAL USED TO BUILD THIS CITY

Sunday 17 September 10:22:21 UTC 2017

build city construction material rock rock n roll roll starship - 2168873728 Graph by: dasnail Tagged: build , city , construction , material , rock , rock n roll , roll , starship Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just Accidentally Opening It is Enough to Incite Murderous Thoughts

Sunday 17 September 10:22:20 UTC 2017

murder browser graphs internet explorer - 7821979904 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: murder , browser , graphs , internet explorer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Going To The Bathroom

Sunday 17 September 10:22:19 UTC 2017

always bathroom celebration church cinema climax desert dining film going home important meetings never often soulmate - 3264017920 Graph by: Arven Tagged: always , bathroom , celebration , church , cinema , climax , desert , dining , film , going , home , important , meetings , never , often , soulmate Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: Where Does the Time Go?

Sunday 17 September 10:22:17 UTC 2017

time singing thinking classic showering Pie Chart - 6805980928 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: time , singing , thinking , classic , showering , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Harry "Cash Cow" Potter

Sunday 17 September 10:22:16 UTC 2017

films Harry Potter infographic money movies - 4976994048 Graph by: (via Cinema Blend) Tagged: films , Harry Potter , infographic , money , movies Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Types of comments on Youtube

Sunday 17 September 10:22:15 UTC 2017

comments gay Pie Chart suck youtube - 2739305216 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: comments , gay , Pie Chart , suck , youtube Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Sure If I Should Try to Console or Run

Sunday 17 September 10:22:14 UTC 2017

best of week cry girls mysterious Pie Chart - 6240203776 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , cry , girls , mysterious , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Timmy's Dad Knows What's Up

Sunday 17 September 10:22:13 UTC 2017

dinkleberg fairly odd parents Memes parents Pie Chart timmy - 4516745984 Graph by: yongcong1 Tagged: dinkleberg , fairly odd parents , Memes , parents , Pie Chart , timmy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That Sounds Naughty

Sunday 17 September 10:22:12 UTC 2017

dirty mind penetration Pie Chart that sounds naughty - 5300749312 Graph by: jemzywin Tagged: dirty mind , penetration , Pie Chart , that sounds naughty Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And Yet, You Cared Enough to Graph Your Apathy…

Sunday 17 September 10:22:11 UTC 2017

i dont care nothing Pie Chart - 6554307840 Graph by: Philipp_ Tagged: i dont care , nothing , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Don't Cook

Sunday 17 September 10:22:10 UTC 2017

diet food ketchup peanut butter Pie Chart - 5130274816 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: diet , food , ketchup , peanut butter , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We can't let you volunteer at our church. Being a lesbian is a sin [Facepalm]

Sunday 17 September 10:19:35 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [288 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sorry ladies, everyone knows you poop. No use trying to keep it a secret. Besides, you're holding up the line [Awkward]

Sunday 17 September 9:30:00 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » England’s Smallest Window

Sunday 17 September 8:24:00 UTC 2017

Wikipedia reference here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The south unable to do it again again [Obvious]

Sunday 17 September 6:57:09 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's good publicity and there's bad publicity, and they're just not in the same vein [Sick]

Sunday 17 September 6:33:06 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The west, the west, the west is on fire [Misc]

Sunday 17 September 5:32:52 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Big business has created an addiction to junk food in Brazil, resulting in obesity rates as the country gains a Brazilian pounds [Scary]

Sunday 17 September 5:18:07 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On behalf of April McVay this is the final Livingston Stapler Company Presents show in honor of soosh (Lance McVay). April will be playing many of his favorites throughout the evening. Please join us at 9PM AKDT/10PM PDT [Live]

Sunday 17 September 4:58:18 UTC 2017

Live [link] [480 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: Man had to call firefighters after getting his penis stuck in weights at the gym [Dumbass]

Sunday 17 September 4:51:28 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » San Diego's hepatitis outbreak might be due to *rolls dice* California's plastic bag ban [Unlikely]

Sunday 17 September 3:51:04 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why the wimmens like their strip clubs [Giggity]

Sunday 17 September 2:48:36 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Celebrating their removal from the endangered species list, the LA Zoo has released some ugly ass photos of their snow leopard cubs [Sappy]

Sunday 17 September 2:20:20 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman who vandalized Wall Street's famed bull statue "chose the corn oil and chalk specifically because they wouldn't cause any harm," hoping it "would therefore not be perceived as an act of vandalism" [Dumbass]

Sunday 17 September 1:48:22 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [162 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Defendant who sent picture of Hannibal Lecter to judge wants to subpoena Anthony Hopkins, put the motion in the basket [Strange]

Sunday 17 September 1:25:20 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Donation info for Farker timujin's final expenses, link goes to fundraiser [Sad]

Sunday 17 September 0:58:28 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The sun is not there [Sappy]

Sunday 17 September 0:16:52 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Banana-hammock hemp-head hipster is getting his bong returned from the po-po. His shrewd move of protesting semi-nude paid off [Followup]

Sunday 17 September 0:11:09 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this High Falls [Photoshop]

Sunday 17 September 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

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