John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Florida woman threatens suicide. SWAT team says, don't worry we'll help [Florida]

Saturday 26 August 23:31:40 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey I know that you're reporting live on the hurricane but here's a six pack, enjoy [Amusing]

Saturday 26 August 22:49:55 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is your captain speaking. Sorry for the additional delay folks. We're going to have to hold here while the drunken gentlemen who were just removed from the plane duke it out with police on the tarmac [Dumbass]

Saturday 26 August 22:26:09 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Harvey knocks 25% of Gulf oil output offline, so expect gas prices to go up like 500% [Scary]

Saturday 26 August 21:34:55 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dancing in the wreckage of a burglarized home and criticizing the victim's fashion choices is no to go through life, officers [Facepalm]

Saturday 26 August 21:25:28 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'm just swimming along and suddenly the lake just floods, and here I am just sitting on this woman's doorstep wondering what the hell happened," said local Texas alligator after Hurricane Harvey displaced him [Scary]

Saturday 26 August 21:17:27 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today is National Dog Day. Heeeerrrre Doggie [Spiffy]

Saturday 26 August 20:43:56 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As expected, the vultures are swooping over the Massachusetts lottery winner's house. Police patrols have increased [Obvious]

Saturday 26 August 20:35:55 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Add a symbol to this sign [Photoshop]

Saturday 26 August 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beware the flying marijuana bundles over the border fence [Followup]

Saturday 26 August 19:37:03 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's okay to dance your way through your drunk driving breathalyzer test as long as you're not legally drunk [Weird]

Saturday 26 August 19:00:55 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most foul, revolting assault on humanity is already upon us, mere days before Labor Day weekend. And no, it has nothing to do with politics. It. Must. Be. Stopped [Obvious]

Saturday 26 August 18:26:28 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Driver hits three pedestrians. Guess who's charged with a crime. Difficulty: Louisiana [Facepalm]

Saturday 26 August 17:58:10 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Princess Diana's impact endures 20 years after her death. This is why we need to bring back phrasing [Awkward]

Saturday 26 August 16:48:10 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you had a bulbous body covered in purple skin, blue-ringed eyes, and a pig-like nose then you would spend most of your life underground too [Creepy]

Saturday 26 August 14:55:56 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If Beavis existed in real-life, he would probably look like this guy [Dumbass]

Saturday 26 August 14:03:30 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Sun bathing at Bikini again

Saturday 26 August 13:56:41 UTC 2017

You get a killer tan, even at night.

The original residents of Bikini were never able to return.

The Miami News – July 3, 1946

Update: Found a better quality copy of the picture. (source)

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Utah woman charged with poisoning her husband with eye drops. If she's convicted, it will be a clear case of blind justice [Strange]

Saturday 26 August 13:54:30 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This teen is making slime to put herself through college. You're my boy, Blue [Weird]

Saturday 26 August 13:35:59 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Lofty Vision

Saturday 26 August 13:28:03 UTC 2017

Brazilian architect Oscar Niemeyer proposed this design for a museum of modern art in Caracas in 1955. He conceived it as a pyramid standing on its apex; the roof would be one vast skylight, and daylight would penetrate the levels inside thanks to spaces at the edges of the floor slabs. There are no side windows so as not to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As we appear to have run out of other news, a passenger on a BA flight was charged double for 'strong tea' [Stupid]

Saturday 26 August 13:20:30 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this red carpet [Photoshop]

Saturday 26 August 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While Texas is dealing with a hurricane and preparing for flooding, a large wildfire in Oregon is creeping closer to a community of nearly 10,000 people [Scary]

Saturday 26 August 12:15:46 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five-year-old boy becomes a superhero for feral felines, just in time for Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 26 August 12:00:00 UTC 2017

Caturday [link] [717 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What opioid epidemic (slips needle back into prosthetic leg) [Florida]

Saturday 26 August 10:29:00 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Gandhi Diet

Saturday 26 August 10:00:00 UTC 2017


I'm surprised no one has yet cashed in on this and written a bestseller called THE GANDHI DIET. [Link]

GraphJam » Twenty-Seven Foods That Want to Make You Obese

Saturday 26 August 8:17:14 UTC 2017

Heart Attack Grill calories health obesity infographic fast food - 6889786624 Graph by: (via How Many Calories Counter) Tagged: Heart Attack Grill , calories , health , obesity , infographic , fast food Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Getting Creative

Saturday 26 August 8:17:13 UTC 2017

lies phone Pie Chart telemarketers - 5029046784 Graph by: WilliamKeckler Tagged: lies , phone , Pie Chart , telemarketers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fills the Void in My Heart Container

Saturday 26 August 8:17:12 UTC 2017

Bar Graph bottles heart IRL Valentines day zelda - 4448273920 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , bottles , heart , IRL , Valentines day , zelda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Greatest Marketing Scheme Ever, Revealed

Saturday 26 August 8:17:11 UTC 2017

recommendation marketing purchase suit - 7782928128 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: recommendation , marketing , purchase , suit Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Game of Thrones Travel Guide: Vacation is Coming

Saturday 26 August 8:17:10 UTC 2017

Iceland Croatia guide Malta morocco Game of Thrones Travel northern ireland - 7855889408 Plan your next holiday around the real locations for Game of Thrones. Graph by: neomam (via cheapflights.co.uk) Tagged: Iceland , Croatia , guide , Malta , morocco , Game of Thrones , Travel , northern ireland Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I've Never Heard THAT Noise Before!

Saturday 26 August 8:17:07 UTC 2017

pie charts Home Alone graphs funny - 7642459136 Graph by: WWEfangirl Tagged: pie charts , Home Alone , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Now I Can Die Happy

Saturday 26 August 8:17:06 UTC 2017

best of week krabby patties plankton recipe Sponge Bob Squarepants top secret - 6202206464 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , krabby patties , plankton , recipe , Sponge Bob Squarepants , top secret Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Yeah

Saturday 26 August 8:17:05 UTC 2017

artist creativity eating inspiration internet Pie Chart sleeping work - 4447762432 Graph by: (via catfacemeowmers.tumblr.com) Tagged: artist , creativity , eating , inspiration , internet , Pie Chart , sleeping , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Bug Spray Does

Saturday 26 August 8:17:04 UTC 2017

away bad bug spray bugs Pie Chart smell - 2597628160 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: away , bad , bug spray , bugs , Pie Chart , smell Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: Not in the Face!

Saturday 26 August 8:17:02 UTC 2017

face eye video game weak zelda - 5291693056 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: face , eye , video game , weak , zelda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Simple Pleasures

Saturday 26 August 8:17:01 UTC 2017

pie charts graphs funny happiness - 7585941504 Graph by: ParanoidPegasus Tagged: pie charts , graphs , funny , happiness Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Words of the Union

Saturday 26 August 8:17:00 UTC 2017

barack obama george w bush infographic president speech state of the union - 5741945088 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: barack obama , george w bush , infographic , president , speech , state of the union Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: Requiescat in Pace

Saturday 26 August 8:16:59 UTC 2017

assassins creed foreign language italian school video games - 6678945280 Graph by: vbelacv Tagged: assassins creed , foreign language , italian , school , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Girl Paradox

Saturday 26 August 8:16:58 UTC 2017

annoying asshole date girls hot idiot nice paradox smart ugly venn diagram women - 2577988864 Graph by: gilgatex Tagged: annoying , asshole , date , girls , hot , idiot , nice , paradox , smart , ugly , venn diagram , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What You Know About Math?

Saturday 26 August 8:16:56 UTC 2017

We are pleased to announce that Graphjam is officially being changed to 'Graph Jams', a site completely dedicated to songs about graphing and math. Hope you enjoy it! Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: april fools , math , rap , Video , what you know Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Do Lions and Venn Diagrams Have in Common?

Saturday 26 August 8:16:55 UTC 2017

anatomy lions venn diagrams - 7377145088 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: anatomy , lions , venn diagrams Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Potential partner attributes

Saturday 26 August 8:16:54 UTC 2017

attractive attributes friends image insane mental partner potential single stable ugly Unavailable venn diagram - 3027354624 Graph by: NoTurkeyForYou Tagged: attractive , attributes , friends , image , insane , mental , partner , potential , single , stable , ugly , Unavailable , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: It'd Take a Lot Less to Scare Me to Death

Saturday 26 August 8:16:53 UTC 2017

best of week Euthanasia Coaster roller coaster scary - 5230091520 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , Euthanasia Coaster , roller coaster , scary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Have Neither

Saturday 26 August 8:16:52 UTC 2017

math Pie Chart practical applications trigonometry - 4920526848 But I still don't need trigonometry. Take that, math! Graph by: ParisRyder Tagged: math , Pie Chart , practical applications , trigonometry Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » RoboCop is Hungry

Saturday 26 August 8:16:51 UTC 2017

hungry Movie venn diagram robocop - 7013221888 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: hungry , Movie , venn diagram , robocop Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But This Is the Most Important Election EVAR!! Because Reasons!

Saturday 26 August 8:16:50 UTC 2017

election 2012 issues Pie Chart politics - 6584346368 Graph by: KingEman Tagged: election 2012 , issues , Pie Chart , politics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hey, Free Pencil

Saturday 26 August 8:16:49 UTC 2017

pencils free found it Pie Chart school - 6650209280 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pencils , free , found it , Pie Chart , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Grandma Done Told You

Saturday 26 August 8:16:47 UTC 2017

cross stitch flow chart got told oh snap - 3897222656 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cross stitch , flow chart , got told , oh snap Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How many times someone will trip themselves up while running away from something

Saturday 26 August 8:16:46 UTC 2017

fall movies real liffe run trip walk - 2167922944 Graph by: GazUtd Tagged: fall , movies , real liffe , run , trip , walk Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chance of pencil being sharp

Saturday 26 August 8:16:45 UTC 2017

Bar Graph hand notes paper pencil phone number pocket sharp test writing - 2624142080 Graph by: Adragalus Tagged: Bar Graph , hand , notes , paper , pencil , phone number , pocket , sharp , test , writing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ignorance Is Definitely Bliss

Saturday 26 August 8:16:44 UTC 2017

internets irl Memes Pie Chart rage guy troll - 4644726528 Graph by: H3nQ Tagged: internets irl , Memes , Pie Chart , rage guy , troll Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Es Verdad

Saturday 26 August 8:16:43 UTC 2017

me gusta memebase Pie Chart spanish - 4707514112 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: me gusta , memebase , Pie Chart , spanish Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Also, Shooting It At Household Objects, Animals, Cars, Buildings….

Saturday 26 August 8:16:42 UTC 2017

Pie Chart rubber bands shooting - 5599558656 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pie Chart , rubber bands , shooting Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's the Little Things That Count

Saturday 26 August 8:16:41 UTC 2017

pie charts Pokémon Pokemon X graphs funny Pokemon Y - 7505783296 Graph by: bbypanda Tagged: pie charts , Pokémon , Pokemon X , graphs , funny , Pokemon Y Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Was Rocking Out!

Saturday 26 August 8:16:40 UTC 2017

App First World Problems phone Pie Chart texting - 5175764736 Isn't that better than while you're playing Angry Birds on the toilet? Graph by: Mudkip74 Tagged: App , First World Problems , phone , Pie Chart , texting Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Our Irrational Fears Embodied in One Graph

Saturday 26 August 8:16:39 UTC 2017

daddy fears irrational legs long spiders venn diagram - 6008110592 Graph by: S.P.A-Bits (via www.bite.ca) Tagged: daddy , fears , irrational , legs , long , spiders , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Napkingami Guide is Too Accurate

Saturday 26 August 8:16:38 UTC 2017

guide napkin origami - 7822913536 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: guide , napkin , origami Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Most Romantic Venn Diagram You’ll See in Your Lifetime

Saturday 26 August 8:16:37 UTC 2017

ms pacman venn diagram pac man video games - 6993698816 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: ms pacman , venn diagram , pac man , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There's a Fine Line Between Thrilling and Deadly

Saturday 26 August 8:16:36 UTC 2017

dead deadly four wheeler hobbies humiliating venn diagram - 6499684352 Graph by: S.P.A-Bits (via Bite) Tagged: dead , deadly , four wheeler , hobbies , humiliating , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Pictured: Checking My Pulse and Nearly Wetting Myself

Saturday 26 August 8:16:35 UTC 2017

amnesia best of week Pie Chart scary video games - 5174613760 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: amnesia , best of week , Pie Chart , scary , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Video Has Been Flagged

Saturday 26 August 8:16:34 UTC 2017

internet legitimacy Pie Chart videos youtube - 4745284096 Oop, better sign in. Graph by: vici1810 Tagged: internet , legitimacy , Pie Chart , videos , youtube Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Likelyhood of Wind vs. Activity

Saturday 26 August 8:16:33 UTC 2017

activity Bar Graph exam flying kite launch leaves model rocket outside raking studying wind - 2552127232 Graph by: DooleyBobson Tagged: activity , Bar Graph , exam , flying , kite , launch , leaves , model rocket , outside , raking , studying , wind Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pizza Follows Its Own Laws of Thermodynamics

Saturday 26 August 8:16:32 UTC 2017

pizza thermodynamics graphs line graphs funny - 7446926592 Graph by: CrazyCalvinWilliams Tagged: pizza , thermodynamics , graphs , line graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Could Be Much Worse

Saturday 26 August 8:16:31 UTC 2017

fears hipsters hitler Line Graph tight pants - 5621230080 Graph by: Robotzombie13 Tagged: fears , hipsters , hitler , Line Graph , tight pants Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Lights to Go Towards

Saturday 26 August 8:16:30 UTC 2017

cool Bar Graph bug light the light - 6719875584 Graph by: (via Coolness Graphed) Tagged: cool , Bar Graph , bug light , the light Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Odds of a Purposeful F1 Are Slim

Saturday 26 August 8:16:29 UTC 2017

cat F1 type keyboard - 7766623232 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cat , F1 , type , keyboard Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The More You Know

Saturday 26 August 8:16:28 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 7715710464 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Many More of Them Live Next Door

Saturday 26 August 8:16:27 UTC 2017

beattles Music Pie Chart yellow submarine - 5641076224 Graph by: JMJMad1 Tagged: beattles , Music , Pie Chart , yellow submarine Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At work!

Saturday 26 August 8:16:26 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4326775296 … Graph by: XxJDxX Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Got Me Again!

Saturday 26 August 8:16:25 UTC 2017

monty python TV the spanish inquisition british television - 6954142464 Graph by: MLGisNot4Me Tagged: monty python , TV , the spanish inquisition , british television Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's Fark-ready headline: Dominatrix freed on short leash in extortion case [Giggity]

Saturday 26 August 4:11:03 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen livestreams her little sister's death after drunk driving crash. Says she did it so her family could "pay for the funeral" (Not safe for work content in sidebar) [Sick]

Saturday 26 August 3:49:16 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's your Hurricane Harvey live stream from local news station in Corpus Christi [Live]

Saturday 26 August 3:37:51 UTC 2017

Live [link] [407 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese undertakers were tested on how to dress a corpse, perform a proper Tombstone piledriver [Interesting]

Saturday 26 August 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 13-year-old driver arrested after police find 25 pounds of meth in car, because nothing avoids suspicion like 13-year-old kids driving cars [Dumbass]

Saturday 26 August 2:20:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Second Look

Saturday 26 August 2:13:11 UTC 2017

M.C. Escher’s 1935 lithograph Hand With Reflecting Sphere gave artist Kelly M. Houle an idea. She drew this image in charcoal on a piece of illustration board: Now when a cylindrical mirror is placed at the center, it produces this reflection: “When the original image is bent and stretched into a circular swath, the shadows seem to fall in all … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Got milk? [Amusing]

Saturday 26 August 2:08:23 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And now we have subpoenas. Guess we know what Trump was trying to bury tonight [NewsFlash]

Saturday 26 August 1:53:16 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [296 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boop Boop Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop [Cool]

Saturday 26 August 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Probably just a fluke [Sick]

Saturday 26 August 1:32:32 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toronto Orchestra to chorus: Cover up your fat asses with tents. Chorus: That's mean and unreasonable. TO: Fine, there won't be an orchestra anymore [Asinine]

Saturday 26 August 1:20:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sheriff's office gives advice to citizens about alligators displaced by hurricane flooding. "Don't go near them. Wait until the waters recede". Now that is some mighty fine police work, Lou [Hero]

Saturday 26 August 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colorado: More drivers in fatal accidents are testing positive for high levels of THC. The local marijuana lobby: There's no proof of a connection, man [Obvious]

Saturday 26 August 0:38:21 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nazi sympathizer "Dr." Gorka out of White House. Miller still there [News]

Saturday 26 August 0:34:47 UTC 2017

News [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CAT-4 hurricane about to swamp millions? Perfect time to pardon Sheriff Joe too [NewsFlash]

Saturday 26 August 0:25:49 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [853 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rabid bat found on Seattle sidewalk. I'm pretty sure they're supposed to stay in the bike lane [Scary]

Saturday 26 August 0:20:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rock formation [Photoshop]

Saturday 26 August 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

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