Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Uniformed Hooters waitress busted [Boobies]

Friday 28 July 23:58:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Welcome to Dull, currently twinned with Boring, Oregon and now with Bland, Tasmania [Spiffy]

Friday 28 July 23:24:28 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "My eye won't stop twitching. Am I going to die?" [Awkward]

Friday 28 July 22:50:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » UFO festival crashes into Pennsylvania town for annual re-investigation where no one has apparently noticed that the UFO shaped like an acorn landed in an abundance of people whose last name starts with "Eichel" (The German word for acorn. )

Friday 28 July 22:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Most dangerous jobs in America include Alaskan fishermen, miners, explosive ordinance disposal, convenience store clerks on graveyard shift [Obvious]

Friday 28 July 21:50:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Study by the Romero Institute finds religious people cling to beliefs even when they contradict evidence because they are overly emotional and irrational [Obvious]

Friday 28 July 21:40:51 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You insult their cat, they smack you upside the head with a bat. That's the Quebec way [Scary]

Friday 28 July 21:18:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Trump expresses full confidence in Reince Priebus [NewsFlash]

Friday 28 July 21:18:10 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Islands in North Carolina's Outer Banks ordered evacuated at the height of tourist season because hurrica-er, construction worker cut a power cable and there will be no electricity for days, 'possibly weeks' [Facepalm]

Friday 28 July 21:14:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Giant lizard found living in family's attic. Wildlife expert to monitor the situation [Florida]

Friday 28 July 20:50:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Steve Jobs' widow buys The Atlantic [Interesting]

Friday 28 July 20:50:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You are making brownies for your child's bake sale and you run out of milk. Do you, A) Go to the store and buy milk B) Go to the store and buy milk, or C) Use your own breast milk? [Sick]

Friday 28 July 20:44:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this good boy [Photoshop]

Friday 28 July 20:30:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man takes his banana for a stroll in West Yorkshire. Surprisingly, this is not a euphemism [Weird]

Friday 28 July 20:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Regular alcohol consumption could cut diabetes risk. Difficulty: moderation [Spiffy]

Friday 28 July 19:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying Leonardo da Vinci hid secret messages of aliens in the Mona Lisa… but he hid secret messages of aliens in the Mona Lisa [Weird]

Friday 28 July 19:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Sorry, Charlie [Sad]

Friday 28 July 19:02:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "We're running out of fuel. Prepare for landing. Autobrakes?" "Set" "Altimeters?" "Set" "Gear lever?" "Huh. Looks like the landing gear's been down this whole time" [Dumbass]

Friday 28 July 18:50:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Reasons why you should not have a threesome on any floor but the first [Giggity]

Friday 28 July 18:16:57 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » A good employee will hit the ground running on the first day of the job, but that doesn't mean you should be running out the door with $100,000 you stole [Dumbass]

Friday 28 July 17:50:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's that time of year again. Feast your eyes and bellies on this year's State Fair Fried Food finalists, including Fried Redneck Wedding Cake Balls, Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger, Fried Texas Dirt, and Dreamy Drunken Sopapilla Cheesecake Ba

Friday 28 July 17:20:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you're going to fabricate grounds for an anti-pot drug raid, your target better not be a pair of former CIA agents with kids, an understanding of the 4th amendment, and the means to see it vindicated in court [Hero]

Friday 28 July 16:50:06 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Dressed for Work

Friday 28 July 16:35:18 UTC 2017

Parisian engraver Nicolas de Larmessin’s 1695 Fantastic Costumes of Trades & Professions presents workers clothed in the objects of their calling: Kurt Vonnegut wrote, “If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.” [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How many North Koreans does it take to launch a new missile? A: two. One to launch it, and one to watch Japanese news to see where it crashed into the ocean [News]

Friday 28 July 16:34:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Chicago man runs around naked after cutting off his penis. Your move, Florida Man [Strange]

Friday 28 July 16:20:05 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Road Roller Endorsed by Doris Day

Friday 28 July 15:57:16 UTC 2017

An odd example of a movie cross promotion from 1949. Perhaps fans of Doris Day would also be interested in her favorite road roller!

I'm not entirely sure if this ad belongs here or on the Museum of Hoaxes, because there's some odd things about it. For a start, what is this magazine Asphalt & Macadam Monthly that the ad … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New study, which will not have any contentious consequences in any unstable regions of the world, identifies the descendants of the Canaanites [Followup]

Friday 28 July 15:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Well, in Washington they say – that the McCain's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of healthcare came through, and the McCain found the strength of ten McCains, plus two [NewsFlash]

Friday 28 July 15:07:27 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Hard-partying 57-year-old who imported German liquid ecstasy in wine bottles is jailed for 20 years after police found $1 million worth of drugs at his home [Spiffy]

Friday 28 July 14:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » No one understands how smart gun can be hacked by magnets, not even the gun [Fail]

Friday 28 July 14:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Stop blowing out candles on your birthday cake. It's disgusting. Here comes the "really fun at parties" science [Sick]

Friday 28 July 13:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Give MS Paint a proper goodbye [Photoshop]

Friday 28 July 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » When laundering $4 billion with Bitcoin transactions, don't use your real name [Dumbass]

Friday 28 July 12:30:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » So, everyone in Washington thinks they're in a poorly written episode of Game of Thrones and most of the country is in favor of installing Hodor as emperor. Let's get a distraction with the Weekly Weird News Quiz, July 16-22 edition [Facepalm

Friday 28 July 12:26:41 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Hundreds of people turn out for Trump rally in suburban Pennsylvania. Sorry, wait, that's an employment line for a marijuana processing plant. Well, someone's smoking something anyway [Spiffy]

Friday 28 July 11:23:39 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Why people are getting the hell out of the northeast [Obvious]

Friday 28 July 11:20:06 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » The Orgatron, or, Tote-a-Tune

Friday 28 July 10:38:00 UTC 2017

Ad source.

Another pre-digital electronic keyboard.

Some background here.

And here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump: I consulted with the military on transgender ban. Military: Oh no you di-in't [Followup]

Friday 28 July 10:21:50 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Worker posts interesting pictures of food preparation equipment in his McDonald's restaurant. Interesting enough to get him fired [Scary]

Friday 28 July 9:49:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Trump's artwork goes up for bid. Look, I'm not saying it's good. But, shouldn't we be bidding this thing up based on previous experiences of nationalistic failed artists? [Survey]

Friday 28 July 5:02:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Combine one rich idiot, a slick motorway, and a Ferrari. Shake well [Fail]

Friday 28 July 4:19:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Rest easy, citizens. That growing patch of green on a drought-seared hillside is the result of a natural spring. The fact that the hillside in question is the downstream face of the Oroville Dam is purely a coincidence [Scary]

Friday 28 July 3:31:33 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's time once again for the annual wild pony swim where ponies make their way from Maryland's Assateague Island across to Chincoteague Island in Virginia. You won't see this many ponies in the water until BronyCon next month [Strange]

Friday 28 July 3:20:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Problem: Brisbane commuters need a new rail link to get them across the river. Solution: Move Brisbane [Fail]

Friday 28 July 2:46:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Pro tip: When stealing a car, make sure it's not a police car with a police officer in it [Florida]

Friday 28 July 2:26:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » California has too much marijuana – CHALLENGE ACCEP- hey, are those Funyuns? [Amusing]

Friday 28 July 2:06:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Farewell Marine. Semper Fido [Sad]

Friday 28 July 1:46:44 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Unlimited Shuffleboard

Friday 28 July 1:26:46 UTC 2017

Jules Verne’s 1895 novel Propeller Island imagines an immense ship in the Pacific Ocean that’s inhabited entirely by millionaires. In 1999 an organization calling itself Freedom Ship International proposed the real thing, a ship four times as long as the Queen Mary and 25 stories tall. Altogether the ship would boast 18,000 living units, 3,000 commercial units, 2,400 time-share units … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » EVERYBODY PANI…. nevermind [Scary]

Friday 28 July 1:26:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Come to the New Jersey beaches, where you can have fun and absorb our high bacteria levels" [Scary]

Friday 28 July 1:06:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If your drug den is so contaminated with narcotics that police investigators become ill and the department has to change procedures, you might have a drug problem. You might also be dead from an overdose, but the point stands [Florida]

Friday 28 July 0:46:44 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons