Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Colorado terrorized by naked yoga enthusiast (with SFW picture of what a naked yoga enthusiast might look like) [Strange]

Monday 5 June 23:53:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Business owner amazed and appalled at the idea that someone dying of a botched medical operation at his unlicensed cosmetic surgery clinic might be considered newsworthy [Florida]

Monday 5 June 23:47:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tonight at 8PM EDT, "tunein" to Paul's Memory Bank for 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "P" [Live]

Monday 5 June 23:35:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Oh, dear, I think I flooded it" [Fail]

Monday 5 June 23:27:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » American politics are bitter and divisive these days, so let's all relax and watch Canadian PM Justin Trudeau paddle his kayak over to chat up someone's mom [Silly]

Monday 5 June 23:07:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Consult a physician for an erection lasting more than two days – especially if it's hourglass-shaped, dude [PSA]

Monday 5 June 22:47:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » VHS tapes are becoming 'unwatchable' due to age, so archivists are trying to preserve that record of your painfully awkward Senior Prom moment for posterity [Interesting]

Monday 5 June 22:28:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tractor trailer carrying live lobsters overturns on Nova Scotia highway. Drivers with trailers of boiling water or melted butter wanted in the area [Amusing]

Monday 5 June 22:10:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Middle schoolers in Texas decide to put on slavery reenactment for fellow classmate [Asinine]

Monday 5 June 21:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Libertarian mag asks: Uber, But for School Buses? [Interesting]

Monday 5 June 21:37:15 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » When your boyfriend "likes" a celebrity's photo online, obviously the correct reaction is to write a blog about it and poll your friends to see if you're justified in your anger [Scary]

Monday 5 June 21:20:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's probably time to reevaluate your life if you start a brawl over a McChicken sandwich [Asinine]

Monday 5 June 21:06:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Saudis Spent $270K at Trump Hotel In Lobbying Campaign Against 9/11 Bill [Obvious]

Monday 5 June 20:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "He raised both his middle fingers and explained, using colorful language, that anyone criticizing Mylan, including its employees, ought to go copulate with themselves" [Asinine]

Monday 5 June 20:35:03 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bureaucrats indispensable in helping NYTimes reporters run offices in distant lands. Sorry – make that bureau CATS [Cool]

Monday 5 June 20:19:03 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Portland turns up the crazy from "weird" to "vicious" [Scary]

Monday 5 June 20:07:15 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this playful scene [Photoshop]

Monday 5 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The internet tilde is the perfect tool for snark? How about no -no- _i think not_ [nope] [Interesting]

Monday 5 June 19:50:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » As the mugshot shows, trading a Chrysler Sebring for meth wasn't even the worst decision he's ever made [Florida]

Monday 5 June 19:34:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bus driver on meth causes accident and death. That's the bad news. Good news, subby has a great new band name [Scary]

Monday 5 June 19:18:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » But…. who'll look after Gromit? [Sad]

Monday 5 June 19:02:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Harvard withdraws acceptances for ten students after their social media activity demonstrates they're already over-qualified to join the Trump administration [Dumbass]

Monday 5 June 18:46:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » This afternoon's active shooter is in spins wheel Columbus, Ohio [News]

Monday 5 June 18:12:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Things that go well with tuna: Mayo, toast. Things that don't go with tuna: Hep A [Sick]

Monday 5 June 17:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Every couple of decades, John Kerry manages a real zinger [Hero]

Monday 5 June 17:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Policymakers are considering random drug and alcohol tests for airline pilots. In other news, airline pilots are apparently NOT subject to random drug and alcohol tests. Enjoy your flight [Scary]

Monday 5 June 16:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The American opioid epidemic may be devastating, but it's good business for one business and their complete lack of morals, ethics, or ability to not break laws [Sick]

Monday 5 June 16:20:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: The word of the week [FarkBlog]

Monday 5 June 16:12:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Boy rescued from claw machine after firefighters spend 30 minutes and $20 trying to win him back [Strange]

Monday 5 June 15:20:05 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Postmortem Hyperthermia

Monday 5 June 15:08:03 UTC 2017

Some weird, morbid trivia: After a person dies, their body will usually start to cool down. Except, not always. Sometimes the body of a recently deceased person will actually rise in temperature. The phenomenon is known as "postmortem hyperthermia."

A recent article in the American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology described a case that occurred in the Czech Republic, … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » How to Make a Sexual Availability Statement in Missouri

Monday 5 June 15:00:40 UTC 2017

Female coworker: I just shaved my armpits, and now I'm drunk! Kansas City, Missouri [Link]

Fark.com RSS » King Douchenozzle von Crunk arrested on drug charges [Florida]

Monday 5 June 14:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Unless you and 8 of your friends want to be gunned down in vodak-soaked, cold blood, if a guy says he was once a Russian paratrooper, JUST AGREE WITH HIM [Scary]

Monday 5 June 14:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Reported shooting in Orlando leaves multiple fatalities. Story developing [NewsFlash]

Monday 5 June 13:49:34 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this low rider [Photoshop]

Monday 5 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » California could send each of its 130,000 inmates to Harvard University and still save money over what it spends to keep them locked up [Facepalm]

Monday 5 June 12:58:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » NASA delays plan to agitate chemtrail believers [Followup]

Monday 5 June 12:44:45 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Emperor and Empress of Streeterville

Monday 5 June 12:43:39 UTC 2017

Once upon a time, this couple claimed to own a large chunk of Chicago.

Original story here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your electronic monitoring bracelet 'accidentally' fell off Saturday evening Newark police would like you to give them a call [Unlikely]

Monday 5 June 12:19:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Neighbor kills a man trying to drown his twins [Scary]

Monday 5 June 11:36:23 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Want to ever think about retiring? Flock to Latin America with the rest of the snowbirds so you can live an upper-class lifestyle on $1,500 a month [Interesting]

Monday 5 June 10:23:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Scientists discover a NOPE that mimics a NOPE [Weird]

Monday 5 June 9:54:23 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Just because you can game the system for a high score doesn't mean you're actually smart. Difficulty: We're playing the U.S. education system, not a video game [Interesting]

Monday 5 June 9:26:23 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Farmers puzzled why their cows broke down fences, then threw themselves off cliff. Guess they got tired of being in same pasture for heifer and heifer and heifer [Strange]

Monday 5 June 8:19:23 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Police want you to keep an eye out for this guy [Obvious]

Monday 5 June 7:32:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man not allowed to ride roller coaster for failing to have enough fingers. Stand up and give him a hand [Stupid]

Monday 5 June 7:05:50 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 156: The Most Dedicated Soldier

Monday 5 June 7:00:19 UTC 2017

When American forces overran the Philippine island of Lubang in 1945, Japanese intelligence officer Hiroo Onoda withdrew into the mountains to wait for reinforcements. He was still waiting 29 years later. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll meet the dedicated soldier who fought World War II until 1974. We’ll also dig up a murderer and puzzle … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You shouldn't drive if you're drunk. You definitely shouldn't drive with a BAC of .573, and probably shouldn't be alive [Dumbass]

Monday 5 June 6:49:51 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons