Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » FDA: Stop looking for lead in your kids' pants, it is not there [Fail]

Wednesday 17 May 22:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? Oh, there you are. Great, the investigation can get started then [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 17 May 22:48:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "The kids had fun, followed the rules, and made lifelong memories. Unfortunately, for kids in 2 of those vehicles, those memories will include that time the teachers were drunk and drove us to the airport" [Scary]

Wednesday 17 May 21:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Woolly mammoth spotted in Norwegian traffic. And you thought YOU had a long commute [Interesting]

Wednesday 17 May 21:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » When sustaining your glitzy, futuristic city requires towing icebergs in from 6,000 miles away to provide drinking water, you should probably step back and reflect on the soundness of your growth strategy [Facepalm]

Wednesday 17 May 20:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Kentucky life expectancy diminishing rapidly, unsurprising given that it is the home of bourbon and Fark [Sad]

Wednesday 17 May 20:20:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this majestic morning [Photoshop]

Wednesday 17 May 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's time for results of the annual analysis of more than 10 million workers' drug tests. Party on Garth – party on Wayne (guitar solo) [Murica]

Wednesday 17 May 19:50:04 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » False Glory

Wednesday 17 May 19:08:01 UTC 2017

Sydney mayor Pat Hills had a trying day on Nov. 18, 1956. That year’s Olympic torch had been wending its way across Australia and was scheduled to arrive in town that evening, carried by former marathon champion Harry Dillon. Huge crowds lined the streets, perching on fences and climbing poles for a better view. Presently a runner appeared, holding a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe." Huh, maybe that's my writing problem, I keep using words people recognize. THIS is your Fark Writer&#3

Wednesday 17 May 19:07:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Dutch king reveals secret flights as a co-pilot. Before anyone makes Dutch rudder jokes, it was a German plane, not a Dutch one. Farts [Interesting]

Wednesday 17 May 17:59:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Beards are the best way to make you more desirable….mostly by covering up that thing you call a face [Weird]

Wednesday 17 May 15:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you want to feel better about your own decisions today, at least you are not finding yourself trying to dig your SUV out of the ocean [Dumbass]

Wednesday 17 May 14:50:04 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Goblu and Beatosu, Ohio

Wednesday 17 May 14:13:42 UTC 2017

The 1978-79 Michigan Highway map included some creative geography. If you looked at the part of the map that depicted neighboring Ohio, you found two new towns. There was Goblu, shown just east of Toledo near Bono, and Beatosu, shown to the west near Elmira. These names sounded a lot like the cries of University of Michigan football fans against … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » So You Stand There Twiddling Your Thumbs, While They Dig Like Meerkats

Wednesday 17 May 13:57:02 UTC 2017

Project manager: I hate it when people tell you they have to look for something, because then they have to find it. Oak Brook, Illinois [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maine's Governor wants to outlaw nips. Geez, can't we just use padded bras [Sad]

Wednesday 17 May 13:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this lonely flower [Photoshop]

Wednesday 17 May 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I've got nothing, so here's a picture of the Wienermobile on a ferry boat [Murica]

Wednesday 17 May 12:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » This day in 1973, all of America tunes in to follow the story of a 'third rate burglary" [Awkward]

Wednesday 17 May 12:08:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Odds of Trump's impeachment date this year are now 3/1, with a charge of Treason at 10/3. Fark: Odds of a Trump sex tape leaking online this year down to 14/1 [Amusing]

Wednesday 17 May 12:07:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Seeking vengeance by setting fire to an ATM and extinguishing the flames with your own pee after getting fired from your factory job is no way to gain future employment in life, son [Dumbass]

Wednesday 17 May 11:55:35 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man steals security system to conceal masturbation [Awkward]

Wednesday 17 May 11:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man finds that the best way to get a free air conditioner is to put on a Home Depot apron [Dumbass]

Wednesday 17 May 10:20:01 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 46

Wednesday 17 May 10:03:00 UTC 2017

Match the men to their professions.

1) Mathematician
2) Economist
3) Psychologist
4) Entomologist

The answers are here.

And after the jump.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another First World problem has been solved now that somebody invented an air conditioned backpack [Spiffy]

Wednesday 17 May 9:25:01 UTC 2017

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GraphJam » In Memoriam

Wednesday 17 May 8:32:39 UTC 2017

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: lost , loved , poems , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cyclist hit by speeding NYPD cruiser. Discussion of who is to blame for the accident, and who is more worthy of vilification over to my right. This could be a long thread [Awkward]

Wednesday 17 May 8:17:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man busted for performing a sex act on himself inside a shoe store. Has he no sole? [Sick]

Wednesday 17 May 7:06:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Father at Disney World starts day-drinking early, rams baby carriage through crowd yelling racial slurs, sits by pool for hours getting piss-drunk, kid get badly sunburned. Bonus: Tells police Trump will kill them [Florida]

Wednesday 17 May 6:25:49 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Look, I don't think "Doctor My Eyes" is a good song either, but this is a bit too far [Weird]

Wednesday 17 May 5:38:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Peachy: 17-year Brood X cicadas are spawning in DC. Impeachy: Four years ahead of schedule [Weird]

Wednesday 17 May 5:10:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Friends consider man dying from stage 4 liver cancer an "inspiration." All the women he dated, married, lived with, borrowed money from, not so much. "He loved us all from the second he laid eyes on us" [Florida]

Wednesday 17 May 4:57:33 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man gropes woman in Chantilly area. That's getting kind of personal [Sick]

Wednesday 17 May 4:20:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Legislature passes bill allowing parents to prevent schools from teaching their babies science [Florida]

Wednesday 17 May 3:37:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fully autonomous air traffic control system for drones is coming, because apparently we've looked at Washington and decided maybe it'd just be better to go ahead let the machines take over [Interesting]

Wednesday 17 May 2:44:02 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » There's a new villain in town and he is the Blender Bandit [Weird]

Wednesday 17 May 2:17:22 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said squeek, squeek, squeek [Sappy]

Wednesday 17 May 1:50:42 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The truth about bacon packaging: "the mullet of meat – business in the front, party in the back" [Interesting]

Wednesday 17 May 1:24:02 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Eight-year-old faces felony charges after multiple vehicle break-ins. Sniff they grow up so fast in Florida [Florida]

Wednesday 17 May 0:57:22 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Quiz

Wednesday 17 May 0:45:07 UTC 2017

Gustave Flaubert posed this teasing problem to his sister Caroline in an 1841 letter: Since you are now studying geometry and trigonometry, I will give you a problem. A ship sails the ocean. It left Boston with a cargo of wool. It grosses 200 tons. It is bound for Le Havre. The mainmast is broken, the cabin boy is on … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most important part of a successful shoplifting spree is the clean getaway. This involves a certain level of grace and agility [Fail]

Wednesday 17 May 0:30:42 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons