John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Brandy drinking city councillor in hot water for sexually harassing elf, drinking brandy. 'I'm always at work and I'm always drinking'" [Facepalm]

Wednesday 12 April 23:26:16 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An open sewer can be an explosive breeding ground for disease, especially if you throw a lit cigarette into it [Scary]

Wednesday 12 April 23:10:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists deliberately travel to remote Australia and round up fifty new species of spider and no one was making them do it. No family members were being held captive or anything [Cool]

Wednesday 12 April 22:20:01 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arsonist wanted in Polk County for several wildfires. Well, I normally do house fires, but I guess I could stretch [Florida]

Wednesday 12 April 22:10:45 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Field of LEGO Daffodils Is "Blooming" in England

Wednesday 12 April 22:00:00 UTC 2017

The spring-inspired installation celebrates Hull's designation as the UK City of Culture for 2017. [Link]

Mental Floss » A Field of LEGO Daffodils Are "Blooming" in England

Wednesday 12 April 21:57:37 UTC 2017

The spring-inspired installation celebrates Hull's designation as the UK City of Culture for 2017. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Bacons (as in People Named Bacon) Have Helped Shape Western Culture

Wednesday 12 April 21:57:36 UTC 2017

Bacons have shaped American cities, influenced presidents, and given us an enduring parlor game. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Isabel Young was heartbroken when she lost her class ring in a sea of balls." Well, Cuervo shots on spring break will do that [Florida]

Wednesday 12 April 21:44:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth in Canada [Stupid]

Wednesday 12 April 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The neighbors maple is dropping whirlybirds on your driveway what do you do? Fark: Try to rip the limb down and punch your neighbors son [Murica]

Wednesday 12 April 21:06:00 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A 3-Year-Old in St. Louis Had a Poop-Themed Birthday Party

Wednesday 12 April 20:57:34 UTC 2017

A little girl named Audrey recently brought whole new meaning to the term "party pooper." [Link]

Mental Floss » Want Something? Asking in Person Is 34 Times More Effective Than Email

Wednesday 12 April 20:57:33 UTC 2017

Sometimes it's worth it to leave your desk and talk face-to-face. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Where bears do their business, what's at the center of the Solar System, and an always helpful Merriam Webster. These are YOUR headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-02 to Sat 2017-04-08 [FarkBlog]

Wednesday 12 April 20:47:33 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you use wooden logs and chicken wire to reinforce your vehicle's suspension, you might be a redneck [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 April 20:38:32 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why is Trader Joe's Wine Cheaper Than Bottled Water?

Wednesday 12 April 20:30:00 UTC 2017

At $1.99 a bottle, Charles Shaw wine is cheaper than an equivalent volume of Aquafina. We investigate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Problem: 8-year-old is hungry, and his parents are asleep: Solution: He drives his 4-year-old sister to McDonald's. BONUS: They go through the drive-thru [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 April 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Manbearpig apocalypse nears [Cool]

Wednesday 12 April 20:10:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this intrepid explorer [Photoshop]

Wednesday 12 April 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Burger King's new troll ad triggers your devices to read aloud the wiki entry for the Whopper. Good thing no one can edit wiki. Oh, wait [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 April 19:41:53 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Candy-Flavored String Cheese Exists. Why? Your Guess Is as Good as Ours

Wednesday 12 April 19:34:36 UTC 2017

Cow Candy's fruit-flavored Monterey Jack cheese sticks are meant to be a sweet alternative to sugary treats. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Times Student Newspapers Broke Big Stories

Wednesday 12 April 19:34:35 UTC 2017

The future of journalism looks bright. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eddie Murphy once again funniest brother [News]

Wednesday 12 April 19:32:34 UTC 2017

News [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Literary Burlesque act inspired by banned books kicks off, because what the world needs now is a sexy Huckleberry Finn and 1984 striptease [Florida]

Wednesday 12 April 19:14:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Unfortunately not so rare Furry Convention trifecta complete with this confession of a formerly secret furry [Strange]

Wednesday 12 April 18:41:54 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Viewing Your Job as Your 'Calling' Can Lead to Letdown and Burnout

Wednesday 12 April 18:34:02 UTC 2017

Putting too much pressure on your ability to change the world at work can lead you to quit your industry altogether. [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Smallest State That Begins With Each Letter

Wednesday 12 April 18:33:46 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Identify These Poorly Translated Movie Quotes

Wednesday 12 April 18:33:45 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Name the 5 Areas of Chemistry

Wednesday 12 April 18:33:44 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » How Many Anagrams Can You Find For the Word 'Easter'?

Wednesday 12 April 18:33:43 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Claw-Snapping 'Sonic Shrimp' Named After Pink Floyd

Wednesday 12 April 18:30:00 UTC 2017

With the ability to produce 210 decibels, Synalpheus pinkfloydi is a shrimp that could land a recording contract. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tired of her neighbor's curious dog leaping over her fence to see what's in her yard, woman creates peep hole for 'nosy' dog [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 April 18:11:53 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Terrifying monument to toothache, made of real human teeth, installed at St. Petersburg dental clinic [Scary]

Wednesday 12 April 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canadian rich guy offers Jane the Virgin star millions to sleep with him but she refuses. Says she can't be on the show if she's no longer a virgin. For God sake, it's in the title [Creepy]

Wednesday 12 April 17:40:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New York City Museum Seeks Funds to Open Permanent Jim Henson Exhibition

Wednesday 12 April 17:29:25 UTC 2017

The exhibit will include over 40 original puppets donated by the Henson family. [Link]

Mental Floss » Don't Miss Your Shot at Amazon's Wednesday Bargains

Wednesday 12 April 17:29:03 UTC 2017

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Florida Bar Exam results are in. Let's see how everyone did. Oh, dear lord [Florida]

Wednesday 12 April 17:08:31 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's time America goes back to the moon, if only to replace the six U.S. flags we planted there before we lose our sovereignty [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 April 16:38:32 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Robert A. Heinlein: "Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." Fark: "But it's more fun in public as long you as don't get arrested." THIS is your Fark Writer&

Wednesday 12 April 16:19:46 UTC 2017

CSB [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dr. Ben Carson stuck in Miami elevator for 20 minutes. No word if it was a grain elevator like the pyramids [Florida]

Wednesday 12 April 16:07:12 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Creator of Charging Bull doesn't want Fearless Girl near his sculpture – which no one wanted when he put it there [Ironic]

Wednesday 12 April 15:36:05 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [215 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This day in 1861, Yankees begin to suffer first major home loss [Murica]

Wednesday 12 April 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Southern college cheerleaders escort ring, y'all [Followup]

Wednesday 12 April 15:14:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Things You May Not Know About the Easter Bunny

Wednesday 12 April 14:54:16 UTC 2017

Whether you attend a church service, decorate eggs, or devour Peeps, no Easter celebration is complete without a visit from the Easter Bunny. [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Explain How Your Shoes Untie Themselves

Wednesday 12 April 14:54:14 UTC 2017

The combination of two forces tugs at the knot until the lace slips free. [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Words That Will Win You Any Game of 'Scrabble'

Wednesday 12 April 14:54:10 UTC 2017

Mind your Zs and Qs. And know your anti-inflammatories. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Tequila

Wednesday 12 April 14:54:08 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Minister Lavrov, Rex Tillerson. Nice to meet you." "Strike Syria again and you will regret it. Also, likewise" [Awkward]

Wednesday 12 April 14:46:45 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman still finds it hard to believe that she gave birth to a 13 lb. baby. Included photo almost gave this story a "Creepy" tag [Sappy]

Wednesday 12 April 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Jeff Koons Teams Up With Louis Vuitton to Create Art-Inspired Handbags

Wednesday 12 April 13:30:00 UTC 2017

The "gazing ball" series has been reinvented for the fashion world. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman finds out about a "FURRY CONVENTION," figures it's a great place for her and her therapy dog [Creepy]

Wednesday 12 April 13:20:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Percy Fawcett’s Doomed Search for the Lost City of Z

Wednesday 12 April 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Here's the true story behind the new film. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You mean the Daily Mail lied to us? I am shocked [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 April 12:47:59 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Regional Words for Vomiting

Wednesday 12 April 12:30:00 UTC 2017

Use these the next time you need to pray to the porcelain god. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Think you could steal candy in Canada? Be prepared for the helicopters, thermal cameras, and K9 units. Bummer, eh? [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 April 12:07:59 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Historic Book Odour Wheel

Wednesday 12 April 12:07:27 UTC 2017

Noting that "the role of smells in how we perceive heritage has not been systematically explored until now," researchers at University College London have developed a "Historic Book Odour Wheel."

They tested it on visitors to St Paul's Cathedral's Dean and Chapter library in London, who characterized the smell of the library as 'woody,' 'smoky,' 'earthy,' and 'vanilla.'

The researchers … [Link]

Weird Universe » Newt Kook

Wednesday 12 April 12:07:26 UTC 2017

Hard to believe that the largest-selling bourbon was once touted by a fellow named "Newt Kook."

This timeline of Dant's history makes no mention of Newt. And Google comes up empty for any biographical particulars. Could he have been a fake, a corporate icon like "Betty Crocker?"

This January 30 1956 report from BROADCASTING MAGAZINE seems to say otherwise. Although … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "C'mon, we have to go. Trust me, we gotta get outta here. COME ON. Work with me, dammit. Come on. COME ON, LET'S GO. Get in the damn basket. HURRY UP" [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 April 11:51:21 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out Governor LePage doesn't have the power to pardon a dog [Followup]

Wednesday 12 April 11:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 'Hidden Figures' Is Coming to Classrooms

Wednesday 12 April 11:30:00 UTC 2017

The real-life story behind the hit movie doesn't end once the credits roll; for educators, there's now a free curriculum to use in the classroom that shines a light on the pioneering African-American women of NASA's space program. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Alabama Senate has voted to allow a church to form its own police force. What could possibly go wrong? [Scary]

Wednesday 12 April 11:20:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Tequila

Wednesday 12 April 11:15:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » United (who else?): "Every ticket, of course, guarantees a passenger a seat on the plane" [Followup]

Wednesday 12 April 11:09:59 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Celebrate Grilled Cheese Day With a Whole Book of Ooey, Gooey Recipes

Wednesday 12 April 10:58:21 UTC 2017

Cheese, glorious cheese! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Syphilis cases are skyrocketing in Maine. This is not a repeat from 1932 [Scary]

Wednesday 12 April 10:34:58 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Surely, no one can really defend United Airlines after dragging a passenger off a plane. Fox: Hold our beer [Facepalm]

Wednesday 12 April 10:29:59 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [217 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Toxic Avenger

Wednesday 12 April 9:30:00 UTC 2017

Start a great day with these great links! [Link]

Mental Floss » The Pioneering Female Baseball Player Who Would Not Be Denied

Wednesday 12 April 8:30:00 UTC 2017

What happens when you combine talent and persistence? You get Toni Stone. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New species of crab discovered that lives entirely in trees. As long as they still taste good dipped in a garlic butter sauce, I don't care if they live in my aunt's glove compartment [Weird]

Wednesday 12 April 8:11:59 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [41 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Digital Sales: the Future of Game Purchasing?

Wednesday 12 April 7:38:38 UTC 2017

angry birds consoles digital effects download infographic video games - 6335289856 Get Over Here and Play a Video Game Graph by: (via Daily Infographic) Tagged: angry birds , consoles , digital effects , download , infographic , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Teenager Builds a 'Record-Breaking' Chain of 15,524 Dominos

Wednesday 12 April 7:30:00 UTC 2017

18-year-old Lily Hevesh claims that she broke an unofficial world record with her elaborate installation. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You are tying your shoelaces wrong [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 April 7:26:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Cinéma Vérité

Wednesday 12 April 7:21:15 UTC 2017

This video is not in reverse: This is not in black and white: This is not in slow motion: [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Surely this week can not get any worse for Unit…. OFFS already [Fail]

Wednesday 12 April 7:17:00 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [169 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Organizers cancel furry convention amid allegations of unpaid taxes, neo-Nazism, and a sex offender – raising hackles throughout the community [Creepy]

Wednesday 12 April 7:04:41 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Condom-clogged pipes tipped off cops to Wang prostitution ring at massage parlor [Giggity]

Wednesday 12 April 6:35:00 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did watching the Masters entice you to try pimento cheese, the caviar of the South? No? Well too damn bad, because pimento is having a foodie moment. Top chef: "Pimento cheese is meant to be on white bread in a plastic sandwich bag" [Murica]

Wednesday 12 April 6:19:43 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pulling your kids out of school for vacation? You better believe someone has a problem with that [Stupid]

Wednesday 12 April 5:58:00 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man wants county treasurer prosecuted for refusing to cash his property tax payment check after he wrote "sexual favors" on the subject line [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 April 5:41:39 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Filmmakers Decide How Their Movie Monsters Will Sound

Wednesday 12 April 5:30:00 UTC 2017

Godzilla isn't real and dinos are long gone, so styling their vocal performance can be a tricky task. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United, in an effort to improve public relations, has added scorpions to its airplanes [Scary]

Wednesday 12 April 4:30:00 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cosmopolitan runs story on "how she lost 44 pounds without any exercise." The answer is to get cancer. She got cancer. Strangely, readers didn't think that was a good weight loss plan [Fail]

Wednesday 12 April 4:29:00 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Explosions on bus carrying German soccer team, in what police are calling a targeted attack, at least one injured [Scary]

Wednesday 12 April 3:39:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » All the President's Men: The 15 Cabinet-Level Departments

Wednesday 12 April 3:09:09 UTC 2017

The Cabinet was established in Article II, Section 2 of the United States Constitution to provide a source of key advisors to the President. Today, the Cabinet includes the Vice President and 15 executive departments. Here's a primer on the departments, in order of their succession to the Presidency. Department of [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder why your newspaper isn't folded evenly? Well, here comes the science. The next article will be to explain what a newspaper is [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 April 2:42:36 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Click here to learn that one weird trick Popeye used to give spinach its power [Scary]

Wednesday 12 April 2:27:15 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » McDonald's Australia now accepts Snapchat job applications, aka Snaplications. "The irony isn't lost on me. The ephemeral quality of a Snapchat video is the perfect metaphor for the here-today-gone-tomorrow fast food worker" [Ironic]

Wednesday 12 April 2:16:43 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman, who once lived in slave cabin, visits it again… in the Smithsonian [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 April 2:10:52 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your latest entrant in the ironic T-shirt sweepstakes [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 April 2:08:19 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone is dropping deuces in front of an Australian business. Fark: on Duke Street. Xtra Fark: "We will get to the bottom of it" [Sick]

Wednesday 12 April 1:45:07 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please note: do not try to pick up rattlesnakes, even if you've shot them [Florida]

Wednesday 12 April 1:34:02 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Office building in downtown Portland gets tired of waiting for the big earthquake, develops huge crack prompting fears of collapse [Scary]

Wednesday 12 April 1:21:42 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Sea monkeys. New hotness: Dinoflagellates [Spiffy]

Wednesday 12 April 0:59:45 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Child taken to hospital after being bitten by unknown 'toothy sea creature,' which is definitely more dangerous than being gummed by a toothless sea creature [Florida]

Wednesday 12 April 0:25:28 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cat torturer [Photoshop]

Wednesday 12 April 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

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