John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Atlanta Journal Constitution: Here are answers to your questions about the I-85 bridge collapse. Why did the bridge collapse? We don't know [Facepalm]

Friday 31 March 23:56:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Netflix Wants to Pay You to Translate Its Subtitles

Friday 31 March 23:17:27 UTC 2017

No more botched pop culture references. [Link]

Mental Floss » Match the Definition With the Word

Friday 31 March 23:17:10 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Which Movie Does Not Belong to Each Trilogy?

Friday 31 March 23:17:09 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » New principal suspends half of high school after unexcused repeat absences. Joe Clark approves [Hero]

Friday 31 March 23:08:05 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Facts About Aurora Australis, the Southern Lights

Friday 31 March 22:30:00 UTC 2017

The Aurora Borealis has a down under sibling, the Aurora Australis. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you haven't scored Valium or an elf cutout from your Uber yet, you're not trying hard enough [Interesting]

Friday 31 March 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Government offers student loan forgiveness program to convince workers to spend 10 years in government service jobs, neglects to mention that there's no actual loan forgiveness at the other end of the tunnel [Asinine]

Friday 31 March 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 92 Years of New Yorker Covers Visualized by Color

Friday 31 March 21:30:00 UTC 2017

Designer Nicholas Rougeux has created a color palette timeline from every issue of The New Yorker since 1925. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That time I hung out with Carlos The Jackal while wearing my yarmulke [Interesting]

Friday 31 March 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Netflix Introduces a New Translation Test for Subtitlers

Friday 31 March 21:00:00 UTC 2017

No more botched pop culture references. [Link]

Weird Universe » 7 Clicks (March 31, 2017)

Friday 31 March 20:54:07 UTC 2017

7 Clicks
A Weird Universe News Service
March 31, 2017

Problem Solved: The U.S. can look to New Zealand when our new EPA Administrator gets nasty. We get a Greenpeace thug to fistfight ("Queensbury Rules") Scott Pruitt, and the loser has to go wallow in a Superfund pool (say, the Berkeley Pit in Butte, Mont.). [Canadian Broadcasting Corp. Radio]

One … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's worst thief gets locked in vault during attempted heist [Florida]

Friday 31 March 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 'The X-Files' Is Getting Turned Into a Children’s Book

Friday 31 March 20:45:00 UTC 2017

Mulder and Scully have gotten a lot cuter in 'The X Files: Earth Children Are Weird.' [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Life Lessons From Alexander Hamilton

Friday 31 March 20:30:00 UTC 2017

"Don't duel" is a given. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anywhere else, if you plan an armed robbery, you'd usually have at least one whole gun. Of course, this is Florida [Florida]

Friday 31 March 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » April Fool’s Day Radio Interview

Friday 31 March 20:01:00 UTC 2017

If you happen to be up really late on Saturday night (Apr 1), you can listen to me discuss the history of April Fool's Day on Coast to Coast AM. I'll be on from 11 pm to 1 am, west coast time. So 2-4 am east coast.

I used to be a nightowl, but those days are long in the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these vagabonds on a van [Photoshop]

Friday 31 March 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you ever said to yourself, "Self, I wish someone would have the decency, courage, and creativity to finally create a statue of pregnant Beyonce made out of brie cheese, and call it 'Brie-Once'," then today's your lucky day [Amu

Friday 31 March 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Can’t You Eat Grapefruit While Taking Certain Medications?

Friday 31 March 19:30:00 UTC 2017

It’s all about your enzymes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California legalizes weed, then raises cigarette tax $2. Man, it's like a conspiracy, man, because the corporations are like milking the, uh, milking…you got any Oreos, man? [Interesting]

Friday 31 March 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your dog wants steak but your cow gets amnesty [Sappy]

Friday 31 March 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This 'Abbey Road' Watch Will Send You Back in Time

Friday 31 March 18:00:00 UTC 2017

We're all living on Ringo time. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Falkland Islands prepare for another in a long string of Blue Mondays as Argentina uses the Brexit threat to stage a new coup on the island [Followup]

Friday 31 March 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [208 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Don't Worry, Whopper Toothpaste Probably Isn't Real

Friday 31 March 17:30:00 UTC 2017

Happy early April Fool's Day. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seattle's bikeshare program, Pronto, closes down after millions spent to acquire bikes and install stations. It seems the general public never got stoked about bicycling around a rainy, hilly city to do stuff [Strange]

Friday 31 March 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Giant Seven-Arm Octopus Might Use Jellyfish as a (Tasty) Weapon

Friday 31 March 17:00:00 UTC 2017

Researchers observed the deep-sea cephalopods in the act of eating dinner. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Georgia governor declares a state of emergency as Atlanta traffic becomes slightly worse [Followup]

Friday 31 March 16:49:58 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [173 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: What's your favorite way to present seafood when you're trying to impress? Show us the good stuff, don't be stingy and shellfish [Interesting]

Friday 31 March 16:35:47 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [173 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How 7 Richmond Neighborhoods Got Their Names

Friday 31 March 16:30:00 UTC 2017

Here’s how seven of the most memorable districts in Virginia’s capital city got their names. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California may yet destroy the world [Scary]

Friday 31 March 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Which Cities Are Within Five Hours of New York City?

Friday 31 March 16:08:32 UTC 2017

Take the quiz! [Link]

Futility Closet » The Lonely Runner

Friday 31 March 15:53:30 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons Suppose k runners are running around a circular track that’s 1 unit long. All the runners start at the same point, but they run at different speeds. A runner is said to be “lonely” if he’s at least distance 1/k along the track from every other runner. The lonely runner conjecture states that each of the runners will … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » South Carolina golfers stunned to see massive alligator "the size of a dinosaur" casually saunter across the course as if it were Florida [Scary]

Friday 31 March 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Has the world seemed darker and gloomier than ever lately? If you're in Seattle, you're not just imagining things [Interesting]

Friday 31 March 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Nostalgic Road Trip

Friday 31 March 14:53:06 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Bakery in All 50 States

Friday 31 March 14:53:00 UTC 2017

Baguettes and brioche and biscotti and bagels. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Manatees now classified as 'threatened,' which is less dire. To be fair, a dire manatee sounds like a pretty bad random encounter in Dungeons and Dragons [Interesting]

Friday 31 March 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Helmet Law Suicide

Friday 31 March 14:40:40 UTC 2017

In 1992 California began requiring that motorcycle riders wear a helmet. Despondent, Gerald Marotta, 48, put on his helmet and shot himself. He left behind a note, "Now I can't ever ride again."

Attorney Wendy Lascher, who had challenged the law, said, "from what I heard about his note, I think the law did have something to do with his … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're old and driving, experts say that wearing a seatbelt will yield the same results as if you were not wearing a seatbelt [Weird]

Friday 31 March 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [132 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » What About the Language Of the People Who Won the Revolution?

Friday 31 March 14:14:53 UTC 2017

British coworker on cell: You mean the gar-age? I know you people say “gar-age.” And also “al-um-min-I-um.” That's how we should be pronouncing it. The language of Shakespeare. Washington, DC [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkeys are apparently now the kamikazes of Indiana [Scary]

Friday 31 March 14:03:52 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eiffel Tower opens this day in 1889, is immediately voted "most disappointing tourist attraction" [Cool]

Friday 31 March 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » So Long, Dandelion! Crayola Is Killing Off One of Its Colors

Friday 31 March 13:30:00 UTC 2017

Color us intrigued. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, the most important question plaguing the country has been answered: Is it legal to own a sloth as a pet in the U.S.? [PSA]

Friday 31 March 13:20:05 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these balls getting cold [Photoshop]

Friday 31 March 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In proof that good things come to those who wait, this man gets to keep his $15,200 he found on the street one year ago after nobody claimed it [Spiffy]

Friday 31 March 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss »  14 Ways of Saying 'Drunk' Across the United States

Friday 31 March 12:30:00 UTC 2017

Three sheets to the wind, seeing double, and tanked are just the beginning. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oklahoma Dept. of Agriculture gives away free hog traps to curb state's free-range bacon problem [Interesting]

Friday 31 March 11:45:23 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do not spit on a 7-year-old boy while hurling "vile" abuse at passers-by. That and don't be homeless with $25,000 on you. People frown upon that [Dumbass]

Friday 31 March 11:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Nostalgic Road Trip

Friday 31 March 11:15:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Enjoy More Than 400 of Bob Ross's Happy Little Paintings in One Place

Friday 31 March 11:00:00 UTC 2017

The unofficial database of your dreams. [Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #309

Friday 31 March 10:36:00 UTC 2017

Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the BREXIT triggered brain drain commences [Followup]

Friday 31 March 10:30:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dead whale on the beach? "Blow it up." Big boulder blocking highway? "Blow it up." Dynamite is Oregon's answer to everything. With "it blowed up real good" video [Cool]

Friday 31 March 9:53:06 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Did Billy the Kid Live Until 1950?

Friday 31 March 9:30:00 UTC 2017

Great morning links for everyone! [Link]

Mental Floss » The Greatest Musical That Was Never Made

Friday 31 March 8:30:00 UTC 2017

Any rock opera written by David Bowie would have been great. But Bowie + this classic novel would have been mindblowing. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you shoot at a drone in Connecticut, it might just shoot back [Asinine]

Friday 31 March 8:22:41 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch Candy Melt—in Reverse—to Vivaldi

Friday 31 March 7:30:00 UTC 2017

Erwin Trummer's short film is equal parts culinary science experiment and college art film. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man gets covered in insects escaping floodwaters in, you guessed it, Australia [Scary]

Friday 31 March 6:44:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Dutch Designer Rolls Out Lamps to Help Reset Your Circadian Rhythm

Friday 31 March 5:50:22 UTC 2017

Sleep soundly in style with the Day&Night lights. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Penis seat goes where? [Amusing]

Friday 31 March 5:06:00 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, what does selling your internet history really mean? [Interesting]

Friday 31 March 4:22:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing to see here, just an alligator in a furniture store, presumably visiting dead relatives [Florida]

Friday 31 March 3:16:39 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Author Jade Chang On Writing New Kinds of Immigrant Stories

Friday 31 March 3:00:00 UTC 2017

In her debut novel, "The Wangs vs. the World," Jade Chang takes on the American Dream. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flush with the success of Flamin Hot Cheetos, a Frito Lay plant is trying new Artillery Shell and Mortars flavor [Strange]

Friday 31 March 2:51:56 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lonely people report more cold symptoms, mostly with shoulders [Sad]

Friday 31 March 2:40:44 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » From Gross to Gold Mine: How Bird Poop Became a Valuable Commodity

Friday 31 March 2:30:00 UTC 2017

In the mid-19th century, a European explorer noticed that the stinky stuff made great fertilizer. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman OK after suspect flees police, crashes into her car. Man, I certainly wouldn't be OK with that [Florida]

Friday 31 March 2:16:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Good Night Lights

Friday 31 March 2:09:37 UTC 2017

Six years ago, Providence restaurant The Hot Club started the custom of flashing its lights each night at 8:30, as a way to say good night to the children in the six-story Hasbro Children’s Hospital across the Providence River. The club would flash its neon sign, and patrons would gather on the waterfront deck to wave flashlights and cell phones. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One reason your health care costs so much? Indecipherable medical bills [Obvious]

Friday 31 March 1:54:40 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♪ Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down the line of cocaine ♪ [Florida]

Friday 31 March 1:52:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » IRS wastes 22% of its budget ($2.76 billion) on information technology [Asinine]

Friday 31 March 1:33:56 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police find $30,000 cannabis stash at stoners' apartment after being called to 7am disturbance. If these stoners have been fighting AND waking up at 7am, it's not a great advert for their weed [Fail]

Friday 31 March 1:28:44 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's random dude duct taped to a yield sign is brought to you by the city of Houston, Texas [Amusing]

Friday 31 March 1:06:56 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese government spokesman says "there is no such thing" as man-made island created by China in the South China Sea, and besides, all the building they are putting up on them are for civilian, not military purposes [Facepalm]

Friday 31 March 1:04:44 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Things You Should Know About Congress's ISP Vote

Friday 31 March 0:48:10 UTC 2017

On Tuesday, the U.S. House of Representatives voted to eliminate rules blocking Internet Service Providers (ISPs) from selling personal information about their customers. Here's what you need to know about the vote, the rules, and what happens next. [Link]

Mental Floss » Neuroscientists Explain How Deep Breathing May Calm the Mind

Friday 31 March 0:48:09 UTC 2017

Look to the brainstem, they say. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The customer is always right, except when they try to buy stuff with a mound of pennies. Or when they wave guns around and threaten to kill you for not accepting them, that's not right either but it's certainly Florida [Florida]

Friday 31 March 0:40:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Chicago River Flows Backwards

Friday 31 March 0:30:00 UTC 2017

Until 1900, the Chicago River flowed into Lake Michigan—but it didn't work out well for Chicagoans. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A newly-engaged man is facing charges after he confessed to painting his marriage proposal on the side of a Sheffield Lake building [Dumbass]

Friday 31 March 0:16:44 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's outrage is brought to you by ***spins wheel*** the 'Pig Scramble' [Murica]

Friday 31 March 0:15:49 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these big stones [Photoshop]

Friday 31 March 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

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