John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Teen who posted threats on Instagram after his friend was arrested over gun at school joins said friend in jail cell [Florida]

Wednesday 12 October 23:50:04 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Mars Missions May Cause Dementia-like Symptoms in Astronauts

Wednesday 12 October 23:45:35 UTC 2016

In August 2016, astronauts Stephanie Wilson, Karen Nyberg, and Rick Mastracchio (L to R) conducted testing in a model of the Orion spacecraft at the Johnson Space Center to gather the crew's feedback on the design of the docking hatch and on post-landing equipment operations. Orion will eventually carry a crew to Mars. Image credit: NASA
An American space mission … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Next Step in Malaria Prevention May Be to Make People Taste Bad

Wednesday 12 October 23:30:00 UTC 2016

Scientists say the brains of malaria-carrying mosquitoes combine smell and taste when considering who to bite. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mmmmmm Leg of, Leg of, Leg of, Leg of, Leg of, Leg of Lamb [Awkward]

Wednesday 12 October 23:25:32 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newly discovered trove of documents and photos reveal t. s. elliot's views on detective fiction, poetry publishing, his 'dread' of the u. s., and why he never replaced his shift key [Spiffy]

Wednesday 12 October 23:10:04 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada has a problem with softwood. I believe they have a pill for that nowadays [Misc]

Wednesday 12 October 22:50:04 UTC 2016

Misc [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Restaurant chain's "Grab her by the Taco" campaign ends badly [Fail]

Wednesday 12 October 22:35:54 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cruise missile fired at U.S. warship in Red Sea for second time in four days [News]

Wednesday 12 October 22:30:21 UTC 2016

News [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Creative Halloween Candy Dispensers

Wednesday 12 October 22:30:00 UTC 2016

Halloween candy dispensers can be simple or very complicated. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen installed a stripper pole and threw wild drug parties while dad stayed out in the shed [Strange]

Wednesday 12 October 22:11:54 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Springfield nuclear power plant employee of the month almost murders a man [Scary]

Wednesday 12 October 21:50:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Recharting Old Territory: Explore This New Interactive Exhibit of a 1507 World Map

Wednesday 12 October 21:30:00 UTC 2016

The Library of Congress partnered with the Galileo Museum to create a comprehensive interactive exhibit, allowing the famous map to be viewed all over the world. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After being blown up, beaten, tied up, and drug into the river, the Grigori Rasputin Memorial Bridge has finally come down [Followup]

Wednesday 12 October 21:25:45 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Popular TV Show in Each State

Wednesday 12 October 21:00:00 UTC 2016

What show is your state loving the most this year? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Campus preacher arrest for turning a student's other cheek…with his elbow [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 October 20:59:05 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's your favorite line from a movie? [Silly]

Wednesday 12 October 20:50:05 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [614 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Long Swim

Wednesday 12 October 20:47:03 UTC 2016

Just an oddity — in Nature, June 5, 1919, Cambridge zoologist John Stanley Gardiner notes that a Fiji harbormaster had informed him of a saltwater crocodile that had landed alive on Rotuma, 260 miles to the north and 600 miles east of the New Hebrides. “It certainly did not come from Fiji or any lands to the east, as crocodiles … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming soon: Fallout 5 [Scary]

Wednesday 12 October 20:31:54 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Ways to Break Your Technology Addiction

Wednesday 12 October 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Want to detach your phone from your hand? We promise this will only sting a little. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yes officer, the drugs are mine, but I swear the guns belong to my 4 year old [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 October 20:10:05 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this hand dancer [Photoshop]

Wednesday 12 October 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wife has to plead with her husband before he'd allow 20-year-old woman to join their bed. Yeah, how long did that take? [Unlikely]

Wednesday 12 October 19:50:05 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Get Wednesday's Top Amazon Deals While They Last

Wednesday 12 October 19:43:14 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, October 12. [Link]

Mental Floss » One-Word Pixar Clues

Wednesday 12 October 19:43:13 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Do We Call General Knowledge “Trivia”?

Wednesday 12 October 19:43:12 UTC 2016

Pull apart the word "trivia," and you’ll be left with two fairly familiar Latin roots. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British town council meeting comes to a screeching halt after one politician accuses another of wearing "intimidating trousers" [Strange]

Wednesday 12 October 19:38:33 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 'Doctor Who' is Getting the 'Mr. Men' Treatment

Wednesday 12 October 19:30:00 UTC 2016

How perfectly British. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flight attendants: "Beverage service will be put on hold since we have a dead passenger in the aisle" [Awkward]

Wednesday 12 October 19:20:06 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In shocking turn of events, 30-year-old teacher teams up with 18-year-old sophomore to steal beer, get high, and absolutely nothing else [Unlikely]

Wednesday 12 October 19:11:18 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 45-year-old bookstore known for its radical left-wing politics to shut down in San Francisco due to sky-high rent [Ironic]

Wednesday 12 October 19:03:54 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dispelling reports that Britain's currency is next to useless, someone has discovered you can play records with the new fiver [Silly]

Wednesday 12 October 18:45:27 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The three most dangerous cars in America. "The Forenza received the lowest possible rating for its side impact crash safety, citing a high likelihood of pelvic fracture to the driver and brain injury to the passenger" [Scary]

Wednesday 12 October 18:29:41 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remote village on the north-west coast of Alaska is being terrorised by walruses [Scary]

Wednesday 12 October 18:26:28 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♪♫We all live in a LEGO submarine♪♫ [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 October 18:08:32 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Thrown in jail and left to rot" is usually just a figure of speech [Sick]

Wednesday 12 October 17:47:48 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: BULLET 2.0 Bluetooth stereo earbuds and charging case. Oh wow my cats are going to love these… (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Wednesday 12 October 17:44:57 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Ronald McDonald Is Keeping a Low Profile Amidst Creepy Clown Sightings

Wednesday 12 October 17:30:00 UTC 2016

Anti-clown sentiment has put the McDonald's spokesman on the bench. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI investigating a plane deliberately crashed in East Hartford CT that killed one person. It may have been targeting a Pratt & Whitney jet engine plant [Scary]

Wednesday 12 October 17:20:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The reason baristas write your name on your cup is to guilt your ass into recycling it when you're done [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 October 17:04:34 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's re-gender the New York City Subway map and see if anybody notices [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 October 16:50:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Introducing 'Fantastic Beasts'-Inspired Twitter Emojis

Wednesday 12 October 16:45:00 UTC 2016

Celebrate your love for the Harry Potter spin-off on social media. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian city bans porn and asks its residents to promise not to watch it [Unlikely]

Wednesday 12 October 16:20:06 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So you and your friends are planning to run up to Canada next year for your 21st birthday and celebrate with some legal marijuana, are you? Subby suggests that you hold off on making your reservations for now [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 October 15:50:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: George Harrison

Wednesday 12 October 15:38:29 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » There once was a man on Fark, who started this thread on a lark, though he was mad, and probably a 'lil sad, there's now a writer's thread of snark. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread [CSB]

Wednesday 12 October 15:24:04 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Onboard GPS data shows city school bus drivers routinely speed. Schools Chief Operating Officer admits no one looked at the data until a TV station asked for and analyzed it [Asinine]

Wednesday 12 October 14:50:05 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Running Facts About ‘The Fugitive’

Wednesday 12 October 14:30:00 UTC 2016

As befits a movie with an unnecessarily complicated plot, the behind-the-scenes story of the 1993 blockbuster is just as twisty. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: "Ronald McDonald forced to keep low profile amid 'creepy clown' epidemic" [Murica]

Wednesday 12 October 14:09:03 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Don’t guess about your future… Analagraph it!

Wednesday 12 October 13:59:00 UTC 2016

The Mutual Benefit Life Insurance Company marketed its electronic analagraph service from the late 1930s to the 1970s. They described it as "a scientific device that lets you chart the family and its retirement needs." They even had an "analagraph school" in Newark, New Jersey where their employees would be sent to get trained as analagraphers.

More recently, Electronic Development … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 4PM Call Client (Again!)

Wednesday 12 October 13:39:51 UTC 2016

Co-worker #1: Are you okay?
Co-worker #2: I’m okay. But if I could slap people through the phone, others wouldn’t be okay. 515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois Overheard by: Peter Gibbons [Link]

Mental Floss » Egypt Welcomes Its First Solar-Powered Village

Wednesday 12 October 13:30:00 UTC 2016

The sandstone structures blend seamlessly with the surrounding desert. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » **ring ring** "Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running?" "Why yes it is." "Then you better go catch it before it falls on top of somebody outside a New Jersey deli [Strange]

Wednesday 12 October 13:20:00 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what lurks in this creepy tunnel [Photoshop]

Wednesday 12 October 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One of the DNC hacked emails was a question regarding why one has to add broth slowly to risotto rather than all at once. "Why can't you just add one or two cups of stock at a time b/c the arborio rice will eventually absorb it anyway, right?

Wednesday 12 October 12:50:04 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [198 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Polka Dotted Poliwampus

Wednesday 12 October 11:58:50 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Airplanes: Not as gross as you might think, but still pretty gross [Sick]

Wednesday 12 October 11:52:00 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Louisiana stops marrying immigrants because they lost the war on same sex marriage [Murica]

Wednesday 12 October 11:27:33 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » George Harrison

Wednesday 12 October 11:15:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh nothing, just China shipping a nuclear reactor to the South China Sea. Happens every day, ya know [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 October 11:00:24 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Show Off Your Country Pride With These Foodie Maps

Wednesday 12 October 11:00:00 UTC 2016

For lovers of food, typography, and travel. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » San Antonio police officers: These Trump hats go great with our uniforms. Police Chief: They also pair well with disciplinary hearings [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 October 10:32:33 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [172 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » lululand315 says FML

Wednesday 12 October 10:29:34 UTC 2016

Today, I was threatened with eviction over $6.25. They waited three days to tell me and left me one business day to get it done. Six fucking dollars and 25 goddamn cents. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Rise of Pokemon

Wednesday 12 October 9:30:00 UTC 2016

We have links for everyone! [Link]

GraphJam » I Just Wanna Party Like a Rockstar

Wednesday 12 October 8:29:20 UTC 2016

band infographic rock star rockstar Statistics - 4827198208 Graph by: VivaLaAmber Tagged: band , infographic , rock star , rockstar , Statistics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Silly Rapper!

Wednesday 12 October 8:28:52 UTC 2016

lil wayne money Music Pie Chart rap The pie chart says it all. Graph by: AttackOfMEME Tagged: lil wayne , money , Music , Pie Chart , rap Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Don't Want to Live on this Planet Anymore

Wednesday 12 October 8:28:48 UTC 2016

Bar Graph gaga hitler i-dont-want-to-live-on-t the biebs the internets whatdoestheinternetthink - 6009096704 Graph by: Ventilator Tagged: Bar Graph , gaga , hitler , i-dont-want-to-live-on-t , the biebs , the internets , whatdoestheinternetthink Share on Facebook [Link]

Futility Closet » Pow!

Wednesday 12 October 6:33:28 UTC 2016

Cartoon laws of physics: Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over. Any body in motion will … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 73-year-old sues four grown children for failing to care for her, demands alimony. "For the purpose of spreading legal knowledge, the circuit court decided to hear the case on a piece of open farmland. The event attracted nearly 100 spectators&#3

Wednesday 12 October 6:18:29 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Cold Seltzer Quenches Thirst Best, According to a New Study

Wednesday 12 October 5:30:00 UTC 2016

People needed less water to satisfy their thirst when it was cold and carbonated compared to warm, still, or sweet water. [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Things You'll Need to Pack Before You Hunt the Yeti

Wednesday 12 October 4:48:46 UTC 2016

Presented by Travel Channel. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as- *BANG* OWW…DAMN YOU RIFLE [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 October 4:34:48 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If a nutjob is in your yard stabbing your inflatable sports mascot, maybe you shouldn't just walk out and confront him [PSA]

Wednesday 12 October 4:04:09 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Poor quality housing in China results in death of the poor. Logical when you think of it [Sad]

Wednesday 12 October 3:50:25 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When a girl Porsche driver races her boyfriend in a Lamborghini, the loser's the Buick driver he hits head-on [Florida]

Wednesday 12 October 3:10:43 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "One of the most annoying myths about news gathering and reporting comes from the guy waving his cellphone at you and saying, "I don't read newspapers. I get all my news from Twitter.' No you don't. Social media reacts to news, th

Wednesday 12 October 3:06:35 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To really live up to your reputation as Britain's worst railway, you have to make conditions so bad that frustrated passengers start fighting one another instead of your staff [Scary]

Wednesday 12 October 3:00:07 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Person of Walmart became people of Walmart while waiting to check out [Misc]

Wednesday 12 October 2:57:37 UTC 2016

Misc [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do Spice, Killer Smeg, and Spongebob have in common? [Stupid]

Wednesday 12 October 2:50:05 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baptist church in Texas gets mad at them eevil craft beer drinkers, buys ad in local paper proclaiming "Craft Beer Is The Devil's Craft." Taprooms now accepting it as dollar-off coupon [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 October 2:46:27 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michael J Fox claims a seventh victim [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 October 2:40:00 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're doing it wro… no, wait… that's actually right. Thanks, mate [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 October 2:34:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Navy sailor who was far from ship-shape arrested after his upside-down car nearly hit a child's bedroom: "I just looked out the window. I'm like, 'Oh, there's a car on my door'" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 October 2:23:06 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even in the UK, where the cops don't normally carry guns, if you point a crossbow at one, a cop is going to shoot you [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 October 2:02:05 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 12-year-old boy doesn't want to go to school so he A: Fakes being sick? B: Intentionally misses the bus? or C: Shoots his mother? [Scary]

Wednesday 12 October 1:56:36 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It is better to be a girl in Kazakhstan than in the US. Very nice [Fail]

Wednesday 12 October 1:46:05 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's the Great Pineapple, Charlie Brown [Strange]

Wednesday 12 October 1:39:59 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian prostitute who claimed Eliot Spitzer raped her has been arrested for blackmail by NYPD [Followup]

Wednesday 12 October 1:30:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Answer Begins With 'S'

Wednesday 12 October 1:22:11 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So it turns out that the U.S. Navy wasn't quite as passive during the attack on the USS Mason as was initially thought [Followup]

Wednesday 12 October 1:16:40 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Airbus upset with Poland for backing out of helicopter purchase, presumably due to lack of ejection seats [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 October 1:14:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Demolition crews attempt to bring down bridge, bridge has other ideas [Awkward]

Wednesday 12 October 0:58:05 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you are reading this…… I am dead [Cool]

Wednesday 12 October 0:42:05 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thankfully there was a good (and drunk) guy with a gun there to stop that zombie [Stupid]

Wednesday 12 October 0:26:05 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Surprising Facts About Swearing

Wednesday 12 October 0:18:55 UTC 2016

A new book by cognitive psychologist Benjamin K. Bergen delves into the profane side of language to reveal a host of interesting and entertaining things you might not realize about our relationship with naughty words. [Link]

Mental Floss » One Trick for Starting Off On the Right Foot With a New Boss

Wednesday 12 October 0:18:54 UTC 2016

Remember, your new boss has a lot of catching up to do. [Link]

Mental Floss » Researchers Reclassify Itsy-Bitsy, Prehistoric 'Beardogs'

Wednesday 12 October 0:18:53 UTC 2016

Two specimens of the Chihuahua-sized animals have just rearranged the branches of the carnivore family tree. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Daycare worker in trouble for trying to film a live version of South Park [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 October 0:09:41 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these healthy drinks [Photoshop]

Wednesday 12 October 0:03:32 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We should scrap sex education and just make schoolchildren watch pornography in the classroom" [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 October 0:03:17 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [105 comments] [Link]

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