John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Short people think Duke sucks [Obvious]

Friday 8 April 23:39:58 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even though buckling in your cases of beer with seatbelts will keep it from moving around the car, the cops may have a problem with you making the kids and baby ride on adults' laps and in the footwells in order to facilitate your cunning plan [F

Friday 8 April 23:33:39 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Handwritten Letters Might Help Prevent Suicide Attempts, Study Finds

Friday 8 April 23:30:00 UTC 2016

Therapists should send out more letters, the research suggests, even if they're mostly boilerplate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Andrew Moore was a WWII veteran raised in an orphanage, who never married and outlived his friends. He died with no will, no instructions and no next of kin. But thanks to his neighbors, today he'll be buried as hero at Arlington Cemetery [Sappy]

Friday 8 April 23:20:39 UTC 2016

Sappy [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A New International Hotline Will Connect You With a 'Random Swede'

Friday 8 April 23:00:00 UTC 2016

Feel free to talk about everything from IKEA to Ingmar Bergman. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The number of times you should shower a week may surprise you, unless you are French [Unlikely]

Friday 8 April 22:40:44 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Fun Facts About 'You've Got Mail'

Friday 8 April 22:30:00 UTC 2016

Five years after 'Sleepless in Seattle,' Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, and Nora Ephron proved (yet again) that romance wasn't dead. [Link]

Mental Floss » Could You Pass This Year’s AP U.S. History Test?

Friday 8 April 22:00:00 UTC 2016

Find out with this practice test from The New York Times [Link]

Mental Floss » The Roald Dahl Museum Is Looking For Two New Board Members

Friday 8 April 21:30:00 UTC 2016

If you spent your childhood dreaming of marvelous medicines, giant peaches, snozzcumbers, and Everlasting Gobstoppers, the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre in Buckinghamshire has an opportunity for you. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who had half his penis amputated speaks out, presumably in a higher pitch [Obvious]

Friday 8 April 21:09:40 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Show

Friday 8 April 21:00:00 UTC 2016

In the 19th century, people increasingly expected upper-class young women to combine domestic prowess with knowledge of the wider world. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Everybody stand back, they are restarting the Large Hardon Collider [Giggity]

Friday 8 April 20:52:51 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [73 comments] [Link]

The Onion » ‘American Idol’ Ends 15-Year Run

Friday 8 April 20:47:00 UTC 2016

Thursday night saw American Idol’s series finale, a two-hour send-off to the show’s 15-year run that included performances from past winners before crowning Trent Harmon the final champion. What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Friendly Facts About Ragdoll Cats

Friday 8 April 20:30:00 UTC 2016

With silky fur and a sizable body, the Ragdoll is a favorite breed among cat fanciers. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photographer hangs with Klan Members in TN and MD. The pictures are about what you would expect them to be [Stupid]

Friday 8 April 20:27:38 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [190 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mark your calendar and set your alarm, SpaceX hopes the 5th time's the charm. Will Falcon 9 finally stick the sea landing? What's with the sappy Droneship name? And where are my pants? SpaceX launch scheduled for 4:43pm Eastern/1:43pm Pacific

Friday 8 April 20:00:41 UTC 2016

Live [link] [286 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this blank billboard [Photoshop]

Friday 8 April 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The 'Rogue One: A Star Wars Story' Trailer, Shot by Shot

Friday 8 April 19:56:22 UTC 2016

A shot-by-shot analysis of the new Star Wars movie, Rogue One. * Intriguing Headline of the Day: Why 12 Million Americans Believe Alien Lizards Rule Us * He’s swimming in Valhalla now: This tiny little pet fish got a great Viking funeral sendoff. * Don’t gamble with syphilis. Advice that’s as good today as it was in the 1930s. Check … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Secret to Saving Day-Old Pasta

Friday 8 April 19:56:21 UTC 2016

Your bolognese will live another day! [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Amazon Deals We Could Find Today, April 8

Friday 8 April 19:56:20 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, April 8. [Link]

Mental Floss » Retrobituaries: Emperor Norton, San Francisco’s Most Beloved 19th-Century Eccentric

Friday 8 April 19:56:19 UTC 2016

Joshua Norton declared himself "Emperor of These United States"—and San Francisco loved him for it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Italian bee rustling is on the rise. Interpol on lookout for anyone carrying millions of tiny lassos [Strange]

Friday 8 April 19:46:09 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Eat Better Cheese With This At-Home Cheese Cave

Friday 8 April 19:30:00 UTC 2016

The Cheese Grotto fits in your fridge, and keeps air flow, temperature, and humidity optimal for your favorite aged dairy products. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's Friday, so the Fark Weird News Quiz is back with a vengeance. With real questions this time [Survey]

Friday 8 April 19:05:55 UTC 2016

Survey [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Apps to Help You Stick to Your Workout

Friday 8 April 19:00:00 UTC 2016

Constantly finding an excuse to skip the gym? There's an app for that. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » RELAX everyone, the 'Great British Biscuit Crisis' is over [Followup]

Friday 8 April 18:41:20 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [52 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Arachnofail says FML

Friday 8 April 18:40:33 UTC 2016

Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » These Dark and Silly GIFs Were Inspired By Famous Paintings

Friday 8 April 18:30:00 UTC 2016

Watch a fairy skeleton terrorize villagefolk and Leonardo da Vinci use Photoshop. [Link]

FMyLife » running scared says FML

Friday 8 April 18:10:57 UTC 2016

Today, I found out that my violent ex has moved to my country for the sole purpose of tracking me down. I know this because my former boss called and told me she gave him my address. She loves the idea of us getting back together because, "You are such a cute couple!" FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review

Friday 8 April 18:05:34 UTC 2016

Strange news items from all over. [Link]

Mental Floss » Artist Creates Beautiful, Intricate Glass Animals

Friday 8 April 18:00:00 UTC 2016

Artist Scott Bisson has been working with glass for 19 years. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Harrison Ford has phony arrest planted in police records, presumably by one-armed man [Strange]

Friday 8 April 17:57:15 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Last Orders

Friday 8 April 17:50:08 UTC 2016

About noon, when Major Pendleton came into the room, he asked, ‘Who is preaching at headquarters today?’ He was told that Mr. Lacy was, and that the whole army was praying for him. ‘Thank God,’ he said; ‘they are very kind to me.’ Already his strength was fast ebbing, and although his face brightened when his baby was brought to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » My black female roomba appears to have mated with a white roomba and an orange roomba. The litter was huge. I have calico roombas all over the place now. Who wants me to send them one? What do I feed baby roombas? [Advice]

Friday 8 April 17:33:17 UTC 2016

Advice [link] [263 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Someone Built a Perfect Tesla Model S Replica Using LEGO Bricks

Friday 8 April 17:30:00 UTC 2016

You can help this fan-made model reach production. [Link]

The Onion » Shimmering Immaculate Republican Candidate Appears Before GOP Officials

Friday 8 April 17:20:00 UTC 2016

WASHINGTON—Explaining how they froze in place and stared up at the miraculous vision in rapt wonder, members of the Republican Party leadership reported that the shimmering image of an immaculate, ideal GOP presidential candidate appeared before them for a brief moment Friday and hovered in front of the party’s headquarters in Washington.Those who witnessed the awe-inspiring vision said they felt … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Home-Run Facts About The Most Popular Ballpark Snacks

Friday 8 April 17:00:00 UTC 2016

Peanuts and Cracker Jack are just the beginning. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Could this $4 Canadian hack help solve the Zika crisis? Answer: No, probably not [Unlikely]

Friday 8 April 16:57:42 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is [redacted] newspapers look [redacted] in places without the First Amendment, like the [redacted] and the UK [Strange]

Friday 8 April 16:56:44 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mossack Fonseca law firm has never forgiven Americans for Van Hagar [Obvious]

Friday 8 April 16:43:34 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Sushi Burgers Are the Next Big Culinary Mash-Up

Friday 8 April 16:30:00 UTC 2016

This is a food trend we can get on board with. [Link]

The Onion » Nation Finds Solace In Knowledge Candidates Taking Years Off Own Lives By Running For President

Friday 8 April 16:13:00 UTC 2016

WASHINGTON—Saying the insight was their sole source of comfort in an otherwise frustrating election season, Americans across the country reported Friday they’re finding solace in the knowledge that the 2016 presidential candidates are taking years off of their lives by running for president. “This election cycle has been nearly unbearable, which is why I always try to pause and remind … [Link]

Mental Floss » Grave Sightings: James Dean

Friday 8 April 16:00:00 UTC 2016

More than 60 years after his death, James Dean’s legend lives on—and so does the legend of his cursed Porsche. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Paris attacks suspect Mohamad Abrini, the infamous 'the man in the hat' at the Brussels airport attack has been arrested by Belgian authorities [Followup]

Friday 8 April 15:52:02 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toyota built a wooden car, complete with a 'century meter' to track years of ownership, and it's awesome [Spiffy]

Friday 8 April 15:47:04 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet the Scientist Who Worked as a Snowflake Consultant on 'Frozen'

Friday 8 April 15:30:00 UTC 2016

CalTech physicist Ken Libbrecht has elevated snowflake science to an art. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Frank Costanza has nothing on this kid [Amusing]

Friday 8 April 15:26:35 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Senators to airline passengers: You know, you're right. Airline seats *are* getting ridiculously cramped. Maybe we should do something. Airlines: My goodness, look at all this money we found. Senators: Actually, scratch that – these seats are gre

Friday 8 April 15:01:40 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [246 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Investigative Facts About 'All the President's Men'

Friday 8 April 15:00:00 UTC 2016

Alan J. Pakula’s peerless political drama was released 40 years ago. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Game Development e-learning bundle. If your kid is going to play games anyway, might as well get her to code one. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Friday 8 April 14:54:54 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [1 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Dog Talent Agency Represents Famous Pets

Friday 8 April 14:49:00 UTC 2016

The Wall Street Journal recently interviewed The Dog Agency, a talent company that exclusively represents Instagram-famous dogs, often securing five-figure deals for advertisements to be posted through the pets’ profiles. What do you think?
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Victims confirmed at Lackland AFB, police are searching for the shooter or shooters [NewsFlash]

Friday 8 April 14:43:34 UTC 2016

NewsFlash [link] [294 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Iggy Pop's Cockatoo, Biggy Pop

Friday 8 April 14:38:29 UTC 2016

Get your morning links right here every weekday! [Link]

The Onion » Jim Nantz Sitting In Corner Of Augusta Clubhouse Locker Room Watching Golfers Change

Friday 8 April 14:26:00 UTC 2016

AUGUSTA, GA—Expressing their unease at the veteran sportscaster’s behavior as they prepared for the second round of the Masters, multiple golfers told reporters Friday that Jim Nantz has been sitting in the corner of the Augusta National clubhouse locker room and watching them change. “I was in the clubhouse this morning getting dressed, and Jim was just sitting there, not … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Los Angeles car chase had it all; high speeds, blacktop-scarring donuts, the TMZ tour bus, helicopters, and then it ended with high-fives and selfies [Followup]

Friday 8 April 14:00:06 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Would It Be Possible For Someone to Actually Become Batman?

Friday 8 April 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na…doubt it! [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 12PM Monitor Calls

Friday 8 April 13:49:59 UTC 2016

CSR on phone: No ma’am, I cannot get the part to you today. If I could beam myself to your house and deliver the part myself, I would. But since I can’t, you will have to wait for overnight shipping. 553 Benson Road
Benton Harbor, Michigan [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Being found with your boyfriend's blood all over you after he is stabbed with a kitchen knife is "legally insufficient" to prosecute you for anything in Washington State, if you're Miss Washington USA [Obvious]

Friday 8 April 13:43:58 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Identical twin sisters and their identical twin husbands all undergo plastic surgery because they can't tell who is married to who [Weird]

Friday 8 April 13:37:14 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The right wing vows to do something about this Pope because he wants to "tolerate" gays, not beat them up like Jesus would do [Cool]

Friday 8 April 13:36:25 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Wi-Fi Connected Juicer

Friday 8 April 13:30:34 UTC 2016

Life has gotten a little easier for the juice-loving super-rich. For a mere $700 they can now buy the Juicero — the world's first wi-fi connected juicer.

Oddly, the device can't actually juice produce from a store or farm. Instead, you have to buy packages of pre-cut vegetables/fruits from the Juicero company (adding to the cost). The device then squeezes … [Link]

Mental Floss » This Cruise Ship Will Feature a Two-Level Go-Kart Track

Friday 8 April 13:30:00 UTC 2016

Soon there will be a way to race go-karts in the middle of the ocean. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: If only there were such an app [Photoshop]

Friday 8 April 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Now Hop a Private Jet For Just $109

Friday 8 April 13:00:00 UTC 2016

Say goodbye to cramped legs and long lines. [Link]

Weird Universe » STAR WARS Recipes

Friday 8 April 12:41:18 UTC 2016

It never really dawned on me that fans would come up with recipes to accompany these movies, but in retrospect, it only makes sense, and the fad appears to go way back, as seen in this 1983 instance below. Will they issue a new recipe for the newest trailer?

Original article here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're reading this then you're lying in the wet spot. Sweet dreams [Sick]

Friday 8 April 12:36:44 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Electrifying Facts About Nikola Tesla

Friday 8 April 12:30:00 UTC 2016

His work is finally being recognized, and the compelling details of his personal life keep interest in him alive. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attention DC farkers: Do you ride those Circulator buses around the city? Yes? You're gonna die. In fact, you may be dead already [Scary]

Friday 8 April 12:23:44 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Short Film Brings Historical Photos To Life

Friday 8 April 12:00:00 UTC 2016

By animating historical photographs from the early 1900s, artist Alexey Zakharov offers a new way to see history. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Enforcement of North Carolina's transgender bathroom bill may be stalled [Followup]

Friday 8 April 11:55:52 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York City cracks down on titty me Elmo [PSA]

Friday 8 April 11:54:17 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just because Arizona is considering laws that target illegal immigrants, the Phoenix Chamber of Commerce asks that you don't boycott the state because it could really hurt them economically [Obvious]

Friday 8 April 11:53:35 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [104 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Mintilou says FML

Friday 8 April 11:47:19 UTC 2016

Today, like everyday, I got on the train heading back from my university campus in Preston. Usually, it takes 20 minutes. When I sat down, I realised it was a non-stop service to Glasgow and the doors had closed. It took me 7 hours by train and a lift from my best friend at 2 a.m. to get home. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Parents outraged that the government won't just let their 6-year-old brain cancer patient son die [Sad]

Friday 8 April 11:28:49 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family convinced that their 4-year-old son has renounced terrorism, wants him removed from watch list [Facepalm]

Friday 8 April 11:17:45 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Take a Seat

Friday 8 April 11:00:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Make Ice Cubes Shaped Like the Moon

Friday 8 April 11:00:00 UTC 2016

Make cold drinks that are out of this world. [Link]

FMyLife » xXWhiteSheepXx says FML

Friday 8 April 10:58:39 UTC 2016

Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother and boyfriend beat 8-year-old to death, so naturally authorities go after fat cat social workers [Sick]

Friday 8 April 10:38:44 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: NJ facing income tax shortfall after the state's richest man moves to Fark's favorite state. Newsier: Someone worth $10.6 Billion chose to live in NJ [Strange]

Friday 8 April 10:30:44 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 17 Utterly Charming Articles on Scots Wikipedia

Friday 8 April 10:30:00 UTC 2016

Scots is close to Standard English in the way Norwegian is close to Danish, which is to say, they are pretty much mutually intelligible. It’s possible to read the Scots Wikipedia and understand nearly everything, but there’s just enough unfamiliar vocabulary and syntax to make the experience linguistically interesting and also utterly charming. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, somebody may face charges after cops fatally shoot a man who was carrying an air rifle at a Walmart. And that somebody could be the guy who called 911 in the first place [Followup]

Friday 8 April 10:28:44 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [95 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » TappedAnts says FML

Friday 8 April 10:15:08 UTC 2016

Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why 12 million Americans believe alien lizards rule us. BECAUSE THEY DO. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE [Obvious]

Friday 8 April 9:55:44 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone actually is going to jail for financial fraud – 83 years worth of jail. Judge: "I deem you a financial predator" [Interesting]

Friday 8 April 9:49:44 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Jersey high schoolers play Nazis vs. Jews drinking game called "Alcoholocaust." Wait, wasn't this one of those Ice-T Law and Order memes? [Stupid]

Friday 8 April 9:20:46 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Clark County family finds dildo in their shed [Dumbass]

Friday 8 April 8:55:44 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [44 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » ciammmm says FML

Friday 8 April 8:53:05 UTC 2016

Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Facebook doesn't yet recognize "Polyamorous" as a relationship status, which means we're all being oppressed or something [Stupid]

Friday 8 April 8:39:44 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Incisive Cases of Fish Surgery

Friday 8 April 8:30:00 UTC 2016

When a fish needs a surgical procedure, veterinarians are there to take up the challenge. [Link]

FMyLife » SunBedToHospitalBed says FML

Friday 8 April 7:56:21 UTC 2016

Today, my family is flying to Hawaii for a longed-for holiday. Well, my husband and children are; I'm in a hospital bed awaiting surgery on kidney stones that I never knew I had. Hopefully they'll send me a postcard. FML [Link]

GraphJam » Not Surprising at All……..

Friday 8 April 7:54:20 UTC 2016

Bar Graph doing the deed sixty-nine what does the internet th Graph by: shaynababy Tagged: Bar Graph , doing the deed , sixty-nine , what does the internet th Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Portable Distraction Device

Friday 8 April 7:54:05 UTC 2016

computers homework laptop school truancy story venn diagram Graph by: grabmapaw Tagged: computers , homework , laptop , school , truancy story , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Friday 8 April 7:54:02 UTC 2016

candy choking cough drop delicious Pie Chart - 4444745216 Graph by: CheckmateAtheists Tagged: candy , choking , cough drop , delicious , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Puppy vs. Old Man

Friday 8 April 7:53:58 UTC 2016

cute old men puppies - 5938690304 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: cute , old men , puppies Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for watering his lawn. (while naked, throwing a beer bottle at a deputy and trying to get all stabby with an 8"… Knife) [Strange]

Friday 8 April 7:39:00 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch a Mysterious Submarine Surprise Divers in Cozumel

Friday 8 April 7:30:00 UTC 2016

"I've been diving for 10 years and that is the most unique thing I've ever seen." [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Friday 8 April 6:51:27 UTC 2016

videnda
n. things worth seeing Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Mundane Movie Props You Can Buy on Amazon

Friday 8 April 6:30:00 UTC 2016

Even the most diehard movie fans might think twice before opening their wallets to buy these props. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That small Keystone pipeline leak? Yeah, it's ninety times worse than expected [Followup]

Friday 8 April 6:04:00 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [169 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Tips For Maintaining Your Social Life As A New Parent

Friday 8 April 5:30:00 UTC 2016

Don’t feel tied to the house all day! Suggest outings your baby will enjoy and your single friends will grudgingly tolerate.
Connect with other parents. They can relate to your struggles, give great advice, and won’t hold the fact that your child keeps biting their child against you.
Invite neighbors over to your house rather than out to a restaurant so you …

[Link]

Mental Floss » A Sleek, Analog Speedometer to Track All Your Cycling Stats

Friday 8 April 5:30:00 UTC 2016

The OMATA One is the most fashionable way to analyze your rides. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spark your curiosity. Lonely Swedes are standing by now waiting to bork with you. What are you waiting for? There's nothing to lose. I want to hear your voice [Strange]

Friday 8 April 5:29:00 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Water company chief says that filling the street back in after they dig it up for water main repairs is "not our core business" [Facepalm]

Friday 8 April 4:39:15 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Questions to Ask Before Deciding on a Real Estate Agent

Friday 8 April 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Presented by Allstate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you don't want to shop at a supermarket that failed health inspection, don't go shopping [Sick]

Friday 8 April 4:14:54 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch a Researcher Fence With a Drone (And Find Out Why He's Doing It)

Friday 8 April 4:00:00 UTC 2016

It's not a new fitness craze—researchers are at work developing a more agile drone that’s able to avoid crashes and gracefully dodge moving obstacles. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man has to be rescued from Morro Rock after climbing it to propose to girlfriend via Facetime, misunderstanding when she said "if you're going to propose, it better involve a giant rock" [Dumbass]

Friday 8 April 3:32:32 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Philosophers at Stanford Have Mastered the Online Encyclopedia

Friday 8 April 3:30:00 UTC 2016

The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy puts other big name internet encyclopedias to shame. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bride flips the bird at her in-laws during wedding reception, things escalate quickly [Stupid]

Friday 8 April 3:24:13 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Elementary Students (Adorably) Lobby For Pantone's Color of the Year

Friday 8 April 3:00:00 UTC 2016

Metallic blue signifies “how everyone has problems in the long and winding road we call life,” writes one Wyoming fourth grader. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Doc, does this look infected to you?" is apparently a legally ambiguous area in which to practice medicine [Weird]

Friday 8 April 2:52:30 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Speeding past deputies to illegally park at the courthouse to make your court date while high and having drugs packaged for sale is probably the way your life was going to be anyway, Thomas Weed [Facepalm]

Friday 8 April 2:39:51 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man, 27, called cops because his mom was "mad and yelling at him" for smoking all their meth [Dumbass]

Friday 8 April 2:32:13 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Help Shelter Dogs by Participating In This Study

Friday 8 April 2:30:00 UTC 2016

Animal behavior and welfare researcher Karen Griffin is looking for pet owners and shelter employees willing to record themselves playing with their four-legged friends. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three shades of Fark: 1. Woman dies around Christmas & family is told to dig hole in cemetery themselves as diggers won't work on holiday. 2. Box is empty. 3: Woman's body found weeks later in funeral director's van after arrest for d

Friday 8 April 2:26:52 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen killed by malfunctioning rocket-powered skateboard; Acme Co. could not be reached for comment [Sad]

Friday 8 April 2:15:54 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To the disbelief of women everywhere, researchers say modern men lack the Y chromosome from Neanderthals [Unlikely]

Friday 8 April 2:08:57 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Disney's Haunted Mansion "Ghost Post" Sends Subscribers on a Scavenger Hunt

Friday 8 April 2:00:00 UTC 2016

In March, Disney reinvented the idea of the subscription box by offering the “Ghost Post,” a Haunted Mansion-themed package. Here's what's inside the first box. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ Policemen had six newborn lambs, newborn lambs, newborn lambs. Policemen had six newborn lambs, in an illegal smuggling ring ♪ [Strange]

Friday 8 April 1:59:10 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Million dollar award winning teacher gives hard lesson in Yankee thrift [Dumbass]

Friday 8 April 1:57:55 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Didn't kill anyone this month? Great, here's your $1,300 check [Asinine]

Friday 8 April 1:55:55 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cop t-bones school bus, injuring 3. Cop says the bus just suddenly cut in front of him, and nobody could possibly have stopped in time, even if he had been paying attention and following traffic laws [Unlikely]

Friday 8 April 1:47:59 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who had a stroke running in a marathon says he's got half a mind to run in another one [Scary]

Friday 8 April 1:44:13 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet the new face of Irritable Bowel Syndrome [Strange]

Friday 8 April 1:43:55 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » cats1234 says FML

Friday 8 April 1:39:34 UTC 2016

Today, $1,000 were stolen from a deposit box to which only I and a coworker have access. I was so nervous during my interrogation that the cop said he had no doubt I was the one who stole the money. I had nothing to do with it. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear US Marshals: I got this. Signed, Michonne [Creepy]

Friday 8 April 1:37:53 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brave Iraqi Army, bravely ran away / When ISIS reared its ugly head, they bravely turned their tails and fled / Brave Iraqis turned about, and gallantly they chickened out [Obvious]

Friday 8 April 1:35:54 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Need Your Help Looking at Pictures of Penguins

Friday 8 April 1:30:00 UTC 2016

Your time spent staring at adorable penguins could actually contribute to science and conservation. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Father of 7 accused of credit card fraud found collecting child porn as well as having a sex slave tied to a stripper pole in his house, or as Michiganders call it, "Thursday" [Creepy]

Friday 8 April 1:24:53 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Lets Go To The Video

Friday 8 April 1:19:25 UTC 2016


If, as a family, you are going to plot a murder and make it look like self defense on your own property then perhaps you should turn off your surveillance camera. Father, son and daughter caught themselves setting up the daughter's boyfriend's murder and let the police get the video as well because Florida. [Link]

FMyLife » Koko says FML

Friday 8 April 1:07:59 UTC 2016

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Norwegian Police Recover a Valuable Stolen Artwork by Edvard Munch

Friday 8 April 1:00:00 UTC 2016

Two men thought connected with the theft are in police custody. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Emily Graslie is Reinventing Museum Education

Friday 8 April 1:00:00 UTC 2016

Graslie tells us how she became the first-ever chief curiosity correspondent for Chicago’s Field Museum, where she’s tasked with introducing natural history to a new generation. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Town in shock after an entire KFC meal was tragically abandoned on the streets of Cheltenham. Reporters launch a high-profile appeal to reunite it with its owner [Amusing]

Friday 8 April 0:50:55 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I lost one fourth of my legs in the Middle East and all I got was this Dickin Medal [Spiffy]

Friday 8 April 0:43:55 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 "Bad" Foods That Belong in Your Diet

Friday 8 April 0:30:00 UTC 2016

Go ahead, eat that bacon, egg, and cheese. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Release the CRACUNS Not sure whether cool or creepy. Why not both? [Murica]

Friday 8 April 0:26:13 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this clock-tower [Photoshop]

Friday 8 April 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Rare Copy of Shakespeare's First Folio Discovered in Scottish House

Friday 8 April 0:00:00 UTC 2016

Previous copies have sold for close to $5 million. [Link]

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