Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Seventeen-year-old Virginia honor student sentenced to eleven years in prison for teaching ISIS how Bitcoins and encryption work [Creepy]
[link] [195 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The Trouble With The Lottery
The Illinois State Lottery is not currently paying out jackpots above $25,000 until the state budget is passed. There's not even an estimated time frame for the winners who are waiting for their payouts. As you can imagine, the winners have a problem with this. [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Dusty Facts About 'Unforgiven'
It took 16 tries in the director's chair for Clint Eastwood to finally get some Oscar love. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mother of the year robs three banks in thirty minutes to pay for her kid's graduation [Florida]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » All Kids Are a Pain in the Neck, Sammie.
i hope I don't have a child like me, because I'd punch myself in the throat. Bot-hell [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And I Am Now Full
Phone drone, to subscriber on the phone: Every piece of information subscribers tell me I basically file away in my head as a little piece of information. Technology Drive
Malvern, Pennsylvania Overheard by: captainobvious [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Anyway, I Already Ate Peter’s Foot Skin
Broker #1: Ok, here’s one: would you rather lick the bulge on Johnny’s* leg or eat the skin that Peter* peeled off his foot last year?
Broker #2: As sick as this sounds, I’d take Johnny’s bulge in a second. I had to sit next to Peter. His foot had a crack in it so deep you could stick a pencil … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And of Course He Was There at the Time
Bimbo: She really didn’t betray him other than sleeping with someone else. 1300 Riverside Avenue
Fort Collins, Colorado Overheard by: dazed and confused [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Wondered Why They Took That Photograph at My Interview.
Female coworker: The only way a woman can make it in the industry is if she has huge boobs!
Male coworker: Hey, guys need to have large nuts to make it. Vancouver
BC
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » What Happens When Spell-Check Infiltrates Speech
Trainee: So, can you tell me why your mother can’t walk?
Daughter: Her leg was amputated, and she can’t walk on her prostate. Home office
Santa Barbara, California Overheard by: T [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But With Better Healthcare
Coworker #1, looking at map of Canadia: I find it interesting that 90% of the people in Canadia live within 100 miles of the US border.
Coworker #2: Yeah, they're like the white Mexicans. St. Louis, Missouri Overheard by: durp [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Let's Just Say “If Bob Had an Appointment to Rendezvous with His Homosexual Lover”…
Coworker, during meeting: For instance, if Bob had a dentist appointment, we would need someone to cover the phones that day.
Boss: Are you kidding? Bob doesn't go to the dentist, have you smelled his breath? Los Angeles, California [Link]
Futility Closet » “A Large Turtle”
Captain Augustus G. Hall and the crew of the schooner Annie L. Hall vouch for the following: On March 30, while on the Grand Bank, in latitude 40° 10′, longitude 33°, they discovered an immense live trunk turtle, which was at first thought to be a vessel bottom up. The schooner passed within twenty-five feet of the monster, and those … [Link]
Mental Floss » Ancient Romans Didn't Use Ketchup—They Had Garum
The salty fish sauce survived the centuries, and is still available for purchase today. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man taking a shot [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stealing a truck from the loading dock at the jail that just released you is no way to get home from jail, son [Dumbass]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Seattle
No. 2: It was originally called New York. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Friend-Zoned says FML
Today, my wife lovingly told me that I'm her best friend, followed by a detailed explanation of how it's weird to have sex with friends. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lottery winner: "Pay me." State of Illinois: "You'll have to wait until we get the budget in order" [Fail]
[link] [185 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "'Supermoons' are a by-product of an always-on media machine that demands a constant stream of things to comment on…" Now why does this sound familiar? [Obvious]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Greek Archaeologists Unearth 'Palace' Near Sparta
The 10-room complex site is thought to date to the 17th–16th centuries BCE. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Confederate flag? Check. Pick-up Truck? Check. Driving in a 'black neighborhood'? Check. Running over a 4-year-old child? Check. An angry mob coming to beat the crap out of you? Check (Some not safe for work content in sidebar) [Dumbass]
[link] [443 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tropical Storm Erika continues to lose interest, may just fall into a depression as it visits Cuba [Followup]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Let's fire up the Fark Wayback Machine and revisit the Katrina discussion thread on this tenth anniversary of the storm making landfall. First post: "It's a hurricane" [Followup]
[link] [163 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Let's all point and laugh at what parents in Highland Park, Texas call an ordeal. Bonus: strippers [Amusing]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Finally, they've identified a surefire way to prevent hangovers. Hint: It has nothing to do with fancy concoctions [Obvious]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 17 Wild Facts About 'Hey Dude'
The beloved Nickelodeon series aired its final episode 25 years ago. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Unless you're going to eat two and a half tons of it, scientists say go ahead and stuff your face with all the radioactive Fukushima tuna that you want [Spiffy]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We secretly replaced this historic archaeological artifact with a concrete picnic table. Let's see if anyone notices [Facepalm]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coin George Washington flipped to see if he'd run for third term just to mess with John Adams up for auction [Interesting]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » mumfordandsonimdisappointed says FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML [Link]
FMyLife » tkoester says FML
Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Gender Neutral Pronouns
The use of gender neutral pronouns such as ze and xem, amongst others is being encouraged on the campus of the University of Tennessee. Administration wants to be welcoming and all inclusive to new students and I quote, “We should not assume someone’s gender by their appearance, nor by what is listed on a roster or in student information systems,” … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cylinder servicer [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » University encouraging students to use gender-neutral pronouns like 'ze' and 'zirs'. Zut Zee Zuck? [Facepalm]
[link] [375 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » 1956 Commercials: 7 minutes Total Per Hour Show
Now, that's weird! Especially when compared to double that amount today. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's nothing worse than a grieving billionaire who lost his daughter to a drug overdose and now wants to use his fortune to conduct mandatory drug testing on all college students [Florida]
[link] [173 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ya know how doctors say something is good for you, then it's bad for you, and then it's good for you again? You'll never guess what is now healthy for your heart [Interesting]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cat Hospital is the New Cat TV Soap Opera you'll be dying to see on Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [590 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » A Meal In A Matchbox, 1956
Matchbox-sized meals. The utopian food of the future, as envisioned by British scientists of the 1950s.
"the housewife of the future will never have to worry about dishpan hands if science puts pills and water on the table instead of steak and potatoes."
— Port Angeles Evening News – July 25, 1956
Synthetic food, as tasty and more nourishing than … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents whose daughter crashed into a pond, eventually dying of drowning, think that the solution to prevent this in the future is adding more guardrails instead of teaching children not to text while driving [Florida]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kicking 150 people out of your show for using their cell phones should now be known as Pulling a Kevin Hart [Spiffy]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Creepy Lullabies From Around the World That Will Keep You Up at Night
If there’s one image that sums up all the feelings of sweetness and tenderness in the world, it’s a mother singing a lullaby to her baby. But if we listen closer to the lyrics of lullabies, they're not all so sweet. [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Gossipy Confessions I Learned from Mexican Folk Art
Need to thank Saint Francis because your wife stopped alphabetizing her pets? "Retablos" are the wild, wonderful art form you've been waiting for. [Link]
FMyLife » still laughing says FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML [Link]
GraphJam » Time on Computer Spent
Graph by: Jenky Tagged: ads , computer , load , Pie Chart , time , waiting , website Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Headshots for Both
Graph by: dinokoalasaurus Tagged: Babies , scary , similarities , zombie Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Bag of Chips Bag Chips
Graph by: kitwatson Tagged: bag , chips , empty , food , packaging , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Who will be on the cover of the next Oprah magazine?
Graph by: Awy72 Tagged: celeb , ego , magazine , oprah , Pie Chart , talk shows Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Do You Like Pie?
Graph by: TheCavellucci Tagged: cake , dislikes , likes , Pie Chart , weird Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » who likes long car rides
Graph by: Pikaball Tagged: Bar Graph , car , cars , dogs , drive , kids , like , long , parents , rides Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » I Hope It Doesn't Get Rusty
Graph by: Jandosk8 Tagged: fe , iron , puns Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Ways Captain Kirk Solves Problems
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: kirk , Pie Chart , Star Trek , tik tok , TOS Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Questions you'll answer on the phone in retail
LoL by: Unknown Tagged: business , hours , job , phone , retail , store Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Please, Bless My Pokeballs
Graph by: JaggerTheCario Tagged: legendary pokemon , Pie Chart , Pokeballs , praying , religion Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Boobs Noobs
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: mom , noobs , Pie Chart , sex , ta tas , xbox Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Pundit Kitchen: Who Made What in 2010
If you haven't heard the news: Mitt(ens) Romney is rolling in it! Get your fix of everything political at Pundit Kitchen Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , election 2012 , Mitt Romney , obama , political , Pundit Kitchen Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » But the Store Is So Big!
Graph by: HoodieHorrorGirl Tagged: lazy , Pie Chart , scooters , shopping carts Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Tournament of Brackets
Graph by: (via The New Yorker) Tagged: brackets , march madness , tournament Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Forever Alone Dating Advice
Graph by: dracola112 Tagged: attractive , dating , flow chart , forever alone , out of my league Share on Facebook
[Link]
FMyLife » anonymous says FML
Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As if flying on one of America's toilets wasn't bad enough, United now blocks access to web sites with a clear lack of morals, such as the New York Times. Fox News and Drudge are 'A-Ok' [Obvious]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you thought your day was bad, imagine getting stung by bees, then while recovering at the hospital, finding out your son had passed away [Sad]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Black and White
By John Tanner. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution … Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Washington D.C. has the nation's worst traffic, with the gridlock times reaching 82 hours a year, not including Congress [Fail]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Memphis zoo is asking for the public to help name their ugly-ass 12-week-old red panda. Let's help them with suggestions [Spiffy]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Scientists Are Making a Better Artificial Leaf
To unlock the secret to renewable energy, science is taking a cue from nature. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Time Warner Cable apparently can't even install cable without blowing something up [Awkward]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Hilariously Terrible Reviews of Wonderful Museums
It’s impossible to please everyone. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists 3D print a new beak for a toucan mistreated by a couple of fruit loops [Sad]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A Farker's good friend, former colleague, and concept artist, Nate Temple, passed away suddenly. Link goes to a time-lapse video of him creating and narrating a concept for a game. His skill was amazing and the world is worse off for his loss [In
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What do you get when you have a quadcopter, a wind turbine and a Monk? Rhode Island [Giggity]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Deadly Train Crash That Started a Trend
In 1896, two locomotives traveling more than 50 miles per hour smashed into each other. On purpose. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two sisters sentenced to be raped and paraded naked as punishment for their brother running off with a married woman from a higher caste [Sick]
[link] [308 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Jazzy Facts About Charlie Parker
The musical icon would have turned 96 years old today. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ecto Cooler is back — in beer form. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY [Spiffy]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Powerful Photos of New Orleans, 10 Years After Hurricane Katrina
Photographer Seph Lawless visited New Orleans to document the city, and its people, a full decade after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Leather seats are available [Fail]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these two showoffs [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Neatly Geometric, High-Resolution Images of Earth From Space
Geography porn at its best. [Link]
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