Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Overheard In The Office » I Need a Birthday Gift for Rebecca in Accounting
Photographer: You wouldn't by chance have a suction cup with a pin on it, would you? Culver City, California Overheard by: LaLa Land [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Chinese Hamster Gynecologists?
Minion: Do you seriously want to go off on a Chinese hamster ovary tangent? I mean, who gives a crap? 1959 NE Pacific Street
Seattle, Washington Overheard by: snickerpants [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Perhaps Better Equipped, Though
Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked. Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island Overheard by: Amy [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It’s Bad Enough You Ripped My Human-Skin Vest
Co-worker on phone: Hey. What’d you do with my bag of hair? Franklin Street
Richmond, Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Have You Been Browsing the Lane Bryant Website Again?
Coworker #1: I went to the black rodeo.
Coworker #2: Black rodeo?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all the cowboys are black.
Coworker #2: Ohhhhh…where was that?
Coworker #1: Alabama. They had mini cows.
Coworker #3: I think those are baby cows…calves.
Coworker #1: I thought they were premature big cows.
Coworker #3: What the fuck is a premature big cow? Newspaper
Dallas, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Come to Think of it, it Does Smell Incredibly Fuzzy and Cute in Here
Student: It kinda smells like bunnies.
Supervisor: What?
Student: Yeah, bunnies. Haven’t you ever smelled bunnies?
Supervisor: Uh, no, I don’t go around sniffing rodents usually. And besides, I’m congested, so all I’m smelling today is boogers. 1145 E. South Campus Drive
Tucson, Arizona Overheard by: Rasputin [Link]
Overheard In The Office » In Court He Refers to the Judge As “Venerable Dickhead”
Intern: Holy shit, it’s cold in here!
Sandy*, ancient secretary: Allen*! This a law office — a professional place of business. We do not use profanity in this office. What if a client had been waiting in reception and heard you use that kind of language? In the future I would ask that you refrain from using that kind of language. I’m … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School district says "Fark this," bans all flags. Betsy Ross weeps [Repeat]
[link] [203 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caught 'em all [Scary]
[link] [156 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 16 Wild Facts About ‘Wild at Heart’
David Lynch’s bizarre take on Romeo and Juliet arrived in theaters 25 years ago. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML [Link]
FMyLife » pontwa says FML
Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML [Link]
FMyLife » dumped says FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Swiss Army: Mission Accomplished [Spiffy]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for playing bagpipes. Oh and there may have been shots fired from elementary school roof [Dumbass]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » French train gunman planned to rob passengers and isn't an Islamic extremist, says his lawyer. Well, there you go. That makes it all right then [Followup]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Air show crash trifecta now in play as Swiss Air Show death toll stands at 1 with 2 injured [Scary]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » All it takes is being cut from their home by firefighters using a giant net to REALLY convince the average 900-pound person to lose some weight: "Bowman tearfully said she felt like part of a 'three-ring circus' during the embarrassing ev
[link] [141 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Pittsburgh
Interested in learning more about Pennsylvania's second-largest metropolis? Yinz have come to the right place. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this morning joe [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lettuce is useless: It's a vehicle to transport refrigerated water from farm to dinner table [Obvious]
[link] [176 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Further Evidence Of the Internet's Unseriousness
Web developer: "hm, problem with cookies. Who's been working with cookies?"
Researcher: "keebler elves!" Cambridge, MA Overheard by: Walrus [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Photos of California's Devastating Drought
2015 marks California’s fourth consecutive year of drought. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Home next to university welcomes students on move-in day with banners reading: "Hope your baby girl is ready for a good time." "Freshman daughter drop off." "Go ahead and drop off mom too" [Facepalm]
[link] [276 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I guess it says "helf" [Interesting]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Crazy PR Stunts Throughout History
A few poorly phrased tweets don't seem nearly as bad when you see what these people did for press. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The great thing about rental cars is that they're all four wheel drive, and if they aren't, it's not your problem [Obvious]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » dannidoll93 says FML
Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Just for kind of fun's sake," Parks told a recent visitor. "I threw a big party, had a case of cowbells; we had a good crew here and cheered 'em on as they went by. It lasted about 90 seconds" [Strange]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » emily074 says FML
Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Timelapse: Blooming Daisies
A summer delight. [Link]
FMyLife » YourAverageFckUp says FML
Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (August 23, 2015)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M437, August 23, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
The distress across the Western world in July over the big-game killing of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe was apparently misdirected, according to veteran “animal communicator” Karen Anderson of Elk, Wash., who told Facebook and Internet visitors [www.AnimalCommunicating.com] that Cecil and she … [Link]
Mental Floss » 8 State Capitol Buildings With Unique Domes
These 8 state capitol buildings stand out for their somewhat unusual decorative toppers. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know we're living in rough times when the kids in 4-H have to use stuffed birds at the poultry showmanship event at the Northwestern Michigan Fair [Sad]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The moral of this story is if a sign tells you not to do something then you probably shouldn't [Obvious]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Zoo criticized for its swim with a tiger promotion. What could possibly go wrong? [Florida]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "And then I got another one on my other leg. And so at this point, I'm in the middle of the street and I look up to see, 'Where is my husband? How come he's not helping?' And I look and he's throwing…raccoons are just jumpin
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » World War II veteran celebrates his 90th birthday flying a B-17, just like the one he flew during the war. "It feels good to be around it and not have somebody shooting at us" [Hero]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were supposed to have a threesome with one of her friends. When I got up to grab a condom, they shoved me out of the room and locked the door. It's been almost an hour and I can still hear them going at it. FML [Link]
FMyLife » BryanTazed says FML
Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tazed. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this nice little fall [Photoshop]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Adventures in babysitting [CSB]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » A Regular Shortcut
Perhaps no one had ever complained before.
Macon Chronicle-Herald – Feb 6, 1954
Suspect Tipsy Driver Took Wrong Short Cut
AUBURN, Ind. (AP)—Carl Wilder, 39, of Pleasant Lake, Ind., was charged with drunken driving Saturday after his truck went through a farmyard, ran over a farmer's automobile and destroyed 100 yards of fence.
Wilder told doubting police: "I always take this … [Link]
Weird Universe » Mr. Machine
[Link]
Mental Floss » Beach Trash Is Ruining Your Mental Health
Litter ruins the psychological benefits people otherwise get from looking at natural landscapes, psychologists find. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Shoreham Air Show crash death toll stands at 7 and may rise as a wedding limo is among the 4 cars destroyed. With a OMG picture and video of the crash [Scary]
[link] [152 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Who's Buried in Westminster Abbey?
London's Westminster Abbey is not only a grand and glorious place of worship, but also the final resting place of hundreds of history's most famous figures. [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Fun Facts About Saber-Toothed Cats
Why did these terrifying beasts evolve their nasty canines? Were they loners or pride hunters? And could primitive humans have been on the menu? Let’s explore the world of saber-tooth studies. [Link]
Mental Floss » The 8 Queen Problem
Here's a puzzle: Can you place eight Queens on a chessboard so that none of them can attack each other? It seems simple enough—start putting a few pieces on the board and find out. If you start doing this, you'll see that it's a bit tricky, because the Queens are able to traverse the board in any direction. But if … [Link]
FMyLife » period pains says FML
Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML [Link]
FMyLife » fuck no says FML
Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. I can't believe I married this neurotic wreck. FML [Link]
GraphJam » What I Like About Twilight…
What I Like About Twilight… Graph by: Unknown Tagged: movies , nothing , twilight Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » The Lion, the Witch and the Bag
Graph by: jalexbarakarth Tagged: bag , best of week , lost , narnia , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: Team_Victoria Tagged: b , 4chan , pedobear , Pie Chart , qa , trolling , tumblr , yahoo answers Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Cat Fur, Cat Fur Everywhere
Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: best of week , crazy cat lady , fur , kitty , Line Graph , x everywhere Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Typical Can of Mixed Nuts
Graph by: SuperDaveMc Tagged: almonds , brazil , can , cashews , mixed , nuts , other , peanuts , pistachios Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » What's the Fun Without the Ferocious Monsters?
Graph by: birdyu7 Tagged: best of week , outdoors , Pie Chart , scenery , video games Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Three men with gunshot wounds walk into a gas station [Florida]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Vernacular
Hamlet’s nunnery soliloquy in “Americanese,” by critic and satirist A.E. Wilson: To quit or not to quit; that’s what I’m up against
Ought I to stick the darn thing out
And let old man Fortune make a monkey of me
Or take a crack against this brand of bellyaches
And swipe the lot of them? To pass out; to sleep … [Link]
Mental Floss » Two Artists Bring James Bond's Meals to Life
Ian Fleming's lavish food descriptions have been largely ignored in adaptations—until now. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming to you from Juneau, Alaska, it's once again time for Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT) [Live]
[link] [252 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dick Tips is offering $20K for information leading to the recovery a 25-year-old's corpse [Sick]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Women in the 18th Century Got Those Sky-High Hairdos
Who needs hairspray (or a wig, for that matter) when you've got powder and animal fat? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man gets bionic penis, complains it doesn't make that sweet Lee Majors sound effect during sex [Giggity]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stranger Things Have Happened: Foo Fighters on Wheels throw a Monkey Wrench into Westboro Baptist Congregation's protest. There goes My Hero [Amusing]
[link] [161 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Spain’s “Solidarity Fridge” Gives New Life to Leftovers
In the Spanish town of Galdakao, a lone refrigerator on the sidewalk operates as if by magic. The hungry can open its doors to find fresh, wholesome food, and take what they like for free. When they return the next day, they find the supply replenished. Residents are calling it the "Solidarity Fridge," where the real magic is in the … [Link]
Mental Floss » The Cost of "Act of God" Disasters
Here's what the polar vortex, wildfires, hail, and floods cost us. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What's black and white and just gave birth? [Sappy]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Why was I late for work today? [Photoshop]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
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