Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Surfing competitions are usually pretty boring as a spectator sport. Except for when a shark tries to eat a competitor [Scary]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not content with occupying Texas, Obama sends the U.S. Navy to invade Wisconsin [Cool]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML [Link]
FMyLife » facepalming all the way says FML
Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Creepy Facts About ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’
Don't fall asleep. [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Examples of Early Fast Food From Ancient History
America didn't invent the notion of fast food. Easy, greasy fare has been around for thousands of years. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Now Zip Up Your Pants, Sir.
Reservations manager: You look very small today!GSR: Umm…thanks?Charleston, South Carlolina [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
Office worker: You know how everyone just looks at themselves and sees pure ugliness? 1800 G Street NW
Washington, DC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » If You’ve Got a ‘Brazilian,’ You Can Lose the Pants Entirely
Manager: Jen*, what happened to dress code?Jen: I just rolled my pants up. I was hot.Manager: Did you shave your legs?Jen: Yes.Manager: Then it’s okay.3 Kent Road
New Milford, ConnecticutOverheard by: Nik [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It’s Discipline, Not War Crimes
Voice on PA: Attention, Barnes and Noble shoppers, will the customer looking for the ‘Bataan Death March’ please come to the Children’s Department? Thank you.Southlake, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Yo Quiero Matarle
Redneck employee: So, what do you call a quesadilla?Latina employee: Quesadilla.Redneck employee: Really? Just ‘quesadilla’?Latina employee: [Silence.]Redneck employee: How do you say ‘salt’?Latina employee: [Walks away.]1720 Indian Trail Lilburn Road
Norcross, Georgia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Least likely place to find a ghost [Photoshop]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sudden gusts of wind at hot air balloon festival cause mass mayhem. In related news: You may want to think twice about using a pickup truck to tether your balloon. With scary videos [Scary]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Workplace Shooting Rampages Happen: Explained.
Employee: This memo was sent back saying that your signature wasn't acceptable, someone higher up has to sign it.Boss: Oh yeah, there is a memo for that. The big boss signed a memo stating that I can sign the memos that he is supposed to sign.Employee: I'm sorry, I must not have heard about that. Where can I get a copy?Boss: … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For the first time in 21 years, the US wins the Math Olympiad, and the eight students on the team say they look forward to not kissing a girl until they're sophomores in college [Murica]
[link] [100 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Probably the best road rage takedown you'll watch this week. Tag is for rager [Dumbass]
[link] [193 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 48 Amazing Facts From Our Instagram
Did you know mental_floss has an Instagram account? That's just one of the many facts you can learn today if you follow us! Here are 48 more to give you a feel of what you're missing out on. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Correctional officer who blew the whistle on a bad inmate extraction was fired and labeled a traitor for turning in one of his fellow officers, who intentionally popped out the mentally ill prisoner's eyeball [Florida]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » A Writer Below
Image: Wikimedia Commons While training as an engineer, Robert Louis Stevenson dove to the foundation of a breakwater at Wick, accompanied by a worker named Bob Bain. He remembered the day in memorable prose: “Some twenty rounds below the platform twilight fell. Looking up, I saw a low green heaven mottled with vanishing bells of white; looking around, except for the … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM TGIF
Co-worker on phone: I have a trailer to be picked up…Yes, it is ready now. It’s in a parking lot. You know, where cars park. 33 Shaws Lane
Springfield, Massachusetts Overheard by: Disgruntled Cube Tenant [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman shocked at her "bizarre" arrest during jury duty for bringing her pointy brass knuckles to trial. So shocked, in fact, that she summons the media, and then brings her other set of knuckles to the courthouse door for a dramatic reenactme
[link] [170 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (July 19, 2015)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M432, July 19, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
Among the protesters at New York City’s Gay Pride Parade on the Sunday after the Supreme Court’s historic gay-marriage decision were a group of men outfitted in Jewish prayer garments and representing the Jewish Political Action Committee, carrying signs reading, for example, … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Execution delayed because the prosecution misled the jury about DNA evidence. The jury was told that the chances it was not the Defendant was one in 43 sextillion, but the odds were really only one in 40 sextillion [Facepalm]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » With My Giant Ears Flapping Like Flags
Peon #1: Jimmmy, you got a haircut. Very aerodynamic.Peon #2: I sure did. All the better for walking quickly down the hallway!Ontario
CanadiaOverheard by: JWa [Link]
Fark.com RSS » To get to one of the most lawless places on the planet you don't go by land, but by sea. In fact, it is the sea [Scary]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Steve Jobs Present the First-Ever 'Stevenote' in 1984
Steve Jobs's first 'Stevenote' was nearly lost to history until a group of computer historians and tech legends teamed up to preserve and digitize the footage. [Link]
FMyLife » ddhaley1 says FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two volunteers intent on protecting sea turtle nests were confronted by a man saying he dislikes turtles and turtle volunteers. The man then shot one of the turtle lovers and walked away, muttering something about the Foot Clan [Florida]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas man celebrating his 21st birthday with booze and guns won't be celebrating 22 [Murica]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » padthaimeanoose says FML
Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Philadelphia
It's home to the Liberty Bell, the Declaration of Independence, and delicious, delicious cheesesteaks. But there's even more to celebrate about the City of Brotherly Love. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For today's "Really?" story, there was a time in which some people thought ice cream parlors were evil [Silly]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Transport for London has a new open air double decker bus. Unfortunately, it wasn't one they had planned on having [Scary]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Navy seeks to combat the problem of sluggish seamen. Naturally, some people have a problem with this [Murica]
[link] [164 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Summer is here and it's grilling time. Use these 10 simple tips to raise your backyard technique to perfect five star cuisine [Spiffy]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Phat Pieces of 'Clueless' Slang
In honor of Clueless' 20th birthday (we know—we're totally buggin'!), we're exploring the origins of the movie's most memorable phrases. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "She is not a spring chicken but she knows what she's doing. Though it's criminal, Doris is someone kind of to be admired in a strange way. She's very slick. She definitely has a talent" [Misc]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you get a fishhook stuck in your eye, no matter how coddam much it eely, eely hurts, stop carping about the pain and focus on how to take care of the situation if you can't get to a competent sturgeon [Scary]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And the blue ribbon for the best stick icky goes too [Spiffy]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You're lost in the world's largest sand dune desert, 200km from anything man-made. Do you keep going, searching for that elusive oasis or wait for the McDonald's to be built? [Weird]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Won’t happen again
Sources: The Daily Standard (Sikeston, Missouri) – Feb 11, 1956; Bridgeport Telegram (Connecticut) – Apr 4, 1955. [Link]
Mental Floss » How LEGOs are Made
Plastic, robots, and more robots. [Link]
FMyLife » henhouse says FML
Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML [Link]
FMyLife » supersmashpika says FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Chhau dancer [Photoshop]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Summer Love [CSB]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Male staff at an Inverness ceilidh bar have stopped wearing kilts because they claim female customers have been groping them while they worked" [Scary]
[link] [174 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Doomtown
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » That thousand-page deposition Cosby gave in 2006, the one that neither side was allowed to release? Oops, it's available to the public from a court reporting service. And released [Followup]
[link] [145 comments] [Link]
GraphJam » What If I'm Just a Combination of Two Other Memes?
Graph by: Iamsang1616 Tagged: best of week , conspiracy keanu , equation , meme , Paranoid Parrot , philosoraptor Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » You Need to Take Your Marco Polo Somewhere Else
The overcrowding is what really ruins it for me. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: off , on , Pie Chart , pool , wave , wave pool , wavepool Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » My Typical Work Day
Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: best of week , job , procrastination , productivity , work Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » what radiation deos in comics/cartoons
Graph by: tuiteyfruity Tagged: burns , cancer , cartoons , comics , cool , kill , mutant , powers , radiation , Super Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: RikaMX Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » I Did Some Stuff
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: activities , Pie Chart , secret message , weekend Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Sweet Dreams
Graph by: (via SMBC) Tagged: dreams , life , routine Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » A Look at the Radio Spectrum
Graph by: (via davidfostergraphics.com) Tagged: infographic , infrared , microwave , radio , science , UV Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I just punched the window and I took her out. I picked her up and gave her to her friends" [Hero]
[link] [140 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML [Link]
FMyLife » MerryDeathmas says FML
Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML [Link]
FMyLife » River says FML
Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming to you from Alaska's capital city, it's another round of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PT [Live]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apple may begin showing ads based on your credit. Subby is looking forward to deals on ramen at the Dollarama [Scary]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Do Smarter People Drink More? What 5 Studies Say
As far as the science goes, the jury's still out. You're going to have to find your rationalizations elsewhere. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Britain is running out of pubs [Scary]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Do Smarter People Drink More? What 6 Studies Say
As far as the science goes, the jury's still out. You're going to have to find your rationalizations elsewhere. [Link]
FMyLife » yep, she does have a tumblr says FML
Today, a girl called me a racist, stereotyping asshole. All I did was ask a kid who happens to be Asian to tutor me in math. Which I didn't do just because he's Asian, but rather because he's in college and is actually a brilliant mathematician. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's all fun and games 'til your 27 person strong sex party gets broken up by cops [Strange]
[link] [144 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these rockers [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
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