John Gordon Ross

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 4 July 23:49:27 UTC 2015

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 4 July 23:49:26 UTC 2015

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Farker braved Walmart today to be with the other true Muricans. What feats of bravery are you accomplishing to honor our country? [Murica]

Saturday 4 July 22:20:05 UTC 2015

[link] [414 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 17 Solid Facts About 'Stripes'

Saturday 4 July 22:00:00 UTC 2015

The movie that made fun of the U.S. Army that actually helped the U.S. Army. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Six-year-old girl rats out her father to police – not once, not twice, but three times [Amusing]

Saturday 4 July 21:38:56 UTC 2015

[link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First they came for the mankinis, and I said nothing [Followup]

Saturday 4 July 21:30:56 UTC 2015

[link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The score is now man 280,481,369,239,257,257,112 to 1 for fish after a sturgeon leaps into a boat and kills a five year old girl [Sad]

Saturday 4 July 21:01:49 UTC 2015

[link] [69 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Bob Ross Permed His Hair (Even Though He Hated It)

Saturday 4 July 21:00:00 UTC 2015

The story of how television personality and painter Bob Ross ended up with a lifelong perm. [Link]

Mental Floss » Because Bird Poop: How the U.S. Acquired Its Territories That Aren't States

Saturday 4 July 20:57:54 UTC 2015

A far-flung maritime empire built on guano, chemical weapons, coal, and just because: these are the stories of the U.S. territories. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A new contender for Britain's worst road markings has been located in Scotland. The lines are so crooked that locals have questioned whether they are the work of a drunk" [Amusing]

Saturday 4 July 20:43:57 UTC 2015

[link] [60 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 of the Weirdest Things People Have Brewed Beer With

Saturday 4 July 20:30:00 UTC 2015

Would you drink beer brewed with bull testicles or beard yeast? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What a great day at the beach, Olga. Did you remember where you put the baby? [Dumbass]

Saturday 4 July 20:19:48 UTC 2015

[link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What America was really like in 1776 [Interesting]

Saturday 4 July 20:11:14 UTC 2015

[link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this closed Athens Eurobank branch [Photoshop]

Saturday 4 July 20:00:01 UTC 2015

[link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch These Fireworks Displays from Home

Saturday 4 July 19:30:00 UTC 2015

Can't make it to a fireworks show tonight? Watch one from London, Japan, or Endor (sort of). [Link]

FMyLife » okaydisarray says FML

Saturday 4 July 19:26:13 UTC 2015

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 4 July 19:26:12 UTC 2015

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's now a cartoon that teaches your kids how not to get eaten by salt-water crocodiles: "The two-minute video was released as part of the 'Be Crocwise' campaign, and features a surprisingly catchy rap" [Amusing]

Saturday 4 July 19:15:55 UTC 2015

[link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Welcome to Bristol, Rhode Island, home of the Blithewold Mansion, Roger Williams University, and the oldest Independence Day celebration in the country … which they've been celebrating annually since 1785 [Murica]

Saturday 4 July 18:49:55 UTC 2015

[link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Hidden Reference to The Beatles in Old Macs

Saturday 4 July 18:30:00 UTC 2015

One Apple engineer decided to let it beep. [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch a 1954 Chevrolet Film on Road Tripping

Saturday 4 July 17:30:00 UTC 2015

In this 1954 commercial-film, a family takes a road trip in their Chevrolet and learns the do's and don’ts of auto travel. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Freedom of Information Act: Good. Bill for asking for your son's school record : $77K [Asinine]

Saturday 4 July 17:08:08 UTC 2015

[link] [121 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Advances in Robotics That Are Bringing Us Closer to Building a Real Terminator

Saturday 4 July 16:30:00 UTC 2015

“Friendship,” one robot explains, “is when we team together to accomplish something important, like building a better future, or conspiring to take over the planet.” [Link]

Fark.com RSS » IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776 [Murica]

Saturday 4 July 16:00:00 UTC 2015

[link] [149 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch: The Chemistry of Fireworks

Saturday 4 July 15:30:00 UTC 2015

When you're watching stuff blow up tonight, know your chemistry! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why is BP paying $18.7 billion? Because it's the least they could do. And never let it be said that BP didn't do the least they could do [Followup]

Saturday 4 July 15:17:52 UTC 2015

[link] [106 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Star-Spangled Facts About the Musical '1776'

Saturday 4 July 14:30:44 UTC 2015

The winner of three Tony Awards (including Best Musical), 1776 might be the most improbable hit in Broadway history. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman alleges permanent neck injury after shark attack. Fark: At a Miami Marlins game [Florida]

Saturday 4 July 14:22:58 UTC 2015

[link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Solar powered plane completes record-breaking five-day journey across the Pacific Ocean. The sun is there [Followup]

Saturday 4 July 14:09:55 UTC 2015

[link] [44 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » notquitejuliet says FML

Saturday 4 July 14:07:54 UTC 2015

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man creates air-conditioned shirt. Subby came up with this idea in fourth grade, prepares copyright lawsuit over notebook doodle [Murica]

Saturday 4 July 13:42:55 UTC 2015

[link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet the Woman Who Discovered Bob Ross

Saturday 4 July 13:30:00 UTC 2015

The story of how Annette Kowalski and Bob Ross met, founded a worldwide company, and made a surprising star of the mild-mannered painter. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police seize uninsured ice cream van. Hilarity ensues [Amusing]

Saturday 4 July 13:11:11 UTC 2015

[link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this resilient marcher [Photoshop]

Saturday 4 July 13:00:01 UTC 2015

[link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Grammar Battle That Followed the American Revolution

Saturday 4 July 13:00:00 UTC 2015

When America achieved independence from England, it threw off many of its inherited English ways in order to form a new identity. But there was one way it was still very much tied to the old country—language. Certainly, by 1776, Americans had developed a new idiom with its own accent and vocabulary, but people still looked to England for proper … [Link]

Weird Universe » Satanic cloud above Statue of Liberty

Saturday 4 July 12:42:36 UTC 2015

Over at about.com, in honor of the Fourth of July, I just posted The 10 Weirdest Moments in the History of the Statue of Liberty, one of those moments being the time in 1989 (or maybe it was 1990 – sources differ), when two Irish tourists on vacation in NYC took a photo of Lady Liberty. It was only when … [Link]

Mental Floss » Dogs Chasing Bubbles and Winning

Saturday 4 July 12:30:00 UTC 2015

Bubbles are like tennis balls, except they float, cannot be fetched, and are nearly infinite. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ Caturday in the Fark, I think it was the Fourth of July ♫ Caturday in the Fark, I think it was the Fourth of July ♫ [Caturday]

Saturday 4 July 12:00:00 UTC 2015

[link] [780 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Things You Didn't Know About 'DuckTales'

Saturday 4 July 11:45:00 UTC 2015

Without the adventures of Scrooge and the boys, Indiana Jones may not have existed. [Link]

Weird Universe » Happy Fourth of July!

Saturday 4 July 11:38:04 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gunman dressed as Walmart employee steals $120,000. "How may I help you?" [Strange]

Saturday 4 July 11:30:00 UTC 2015

[link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Americans to spend $15.8 billion on the July 4th holiday weekend. Not counting ER visits for finger repairs from fireworks [Spiffy]

Saturday 4 July 10:53:17 UTC 2015

[link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A History of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Saturday 4 July 10:30:00 UTC 2015

View image | gettyimages.com G.I. Joe was the codename for America’s daring, highly trained special missions force. Its purpose was to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world. From 1982 until 1994, Hasbro’s G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero was one of the driving forces in kid’s entertainment, conquering the worlds of comic … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 4 July 9:12:08 UTC 2015

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML [Link]

GraphJam » You Just Wait

Saturday 4 July 8:54:47 UTC 2015

Graph by: Potterheadforever Tagged: best of week , draco malfoy , Harry Potter , Movie , mudbloods , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How fast you think you are going Vs. Actual speed.

Saturday 4 July 8:54:46 UTC 2015

Graph by: Briguy Tagged: adult , Bar Graph , elderly , fast , grandma , speed , teenager Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time spent grading student essays.

Saturday 4 July 8:54:44 UTC 2015

LoL by: xunil2 Tagged: education , FAIL , google , school , students , study Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How I Play Games

Saturday 4 July 8:54:43 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , dungeons , horror games , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So Wait, You're Designing Trains Then?

Saturday 4 July 8:54:41 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: engineering , Pie Chart , school , trains , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Taco Salad, Problem Solved

Saturday 4 July 8:54:39 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , food , goldilocks , microwave , problem solved , taco salad , temperature Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Word Problems in all Math Classes

Saturday 4 July 8:54:37 UTC 2015

LoL by: adheananda Tagged: education , math , problem , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 4 July 8:54:32 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: balloon , fireworks , flushing , lift the lid , loud , Pie Chart , spaceship , toilet Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hey, Sometimes I Look Up Fancy Words My Professor Says, Man

Saturday 4 July 8:54:31 UTC 2015

What do you do with your laptop in class? Graph by: keithking09 Tagged: class , laptop , note taking , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh, Play That One Song!

Saturday 4 July 8:54:25 UTC 2015

Graph by: CatLolzLover Tagged: chopsticks , Music , piano , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Can't Possibly Think Their Tans Actually Look Good, Right?

Saturday 4 July 8:54:20 UTC 2015

Graph by: patrickbeach (via www.allpsychologyschools.com) Tagged: infographic , jersey shore , mindset , psychology Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things that are apparently my fault according to Customers

Saturday 4 July 8:54:19 UTC 2015

LoL by: buttons988 Tagged: business , complaint , customers , job , problems Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How does Lady Gaga like her steak?

Saturday 4 July 8:54:16 UTC 2015

Graph by: bonertime98 Tagged: food , Hall of Fame , lady gaga , lyrics , medium , rare , raw , steak , well done Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » He'll Take Up the Whole Bed, Too

Saturday 4 July 8:54:15 UTC 2015

Graph by: Henrietta88 Tagged: cute , dirty , dogs , Pie Chart , snuggle , wet Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Yet Another Worthwhile Meeting

Saturday 4 July 8:54:13 UTC 2015

Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: best of week , cartoons , meeting , tennis , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Solve: (3 x) (3067 ) 0.1534 i=3 3(.7) i-1 Cumulative I.Q. of Twilight Fans **ERROR: CANNOT DIVIDE BY ZERO**

Saturday 4 July 8:54:10 UTC 2015

Graph by: wtfudgsicle Tagged: dividing by zero , error , fans , i-q , math , twilight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chances of being called Gay

Saturday 4 July 8:54:08 UTC 2015

LoL by: nms Tagged: gay , video game Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Being in a Relationship Is Like That

Saturday 4 July 8:54:03 UTC 2015

Graph by: (via Triangle Circle) Tagged: best of week , crazy , relationship , sane , venn diagram , you Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Daytime Fireworks!

Saturday 4 July 8:30:00 UTC 2015

Not all fireworks shows happen at night. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While keeping a robbery suspect in a headlock while waiting for police to arrive, an off-duty news reporter gets asked by a bystander if she's seen him on TV. "Yeah, Channel 48 News, we investigate" [Hero]

Saturday 4 July 8:08:04 UTC 2015

[link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 24 Unexpected Things You'll Find on Cruise Ships

Saturday 4 July 7:30:00 UTC 2015

In this week's episode of mental_floss on YouTube, John Green breaks down the weirdest things you'll find on cruise ships. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How oddball items came to dominate the news business, and became normal in the process – including a reference to Drew and Fark [Obvious]

Saturday 4 July 6:39:15 UTC 2015

[link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: If you are a dentist, don't wrap your patients in a body bag. Somebody may have a problem with this [Dumbass]

Saturday 4 July 6:32:51 UTC 2015

[link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California couple that has been married 74 years get their final wish… to die in each other's arms [Sappy]

Saturday 4 July 5:49:25 UTC 2015

[link] [57 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » but cum to think of it… says FML

Saturday 4 July 5:29:47 UTC 2015

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And today's airline passenger who has earned a lifetime ban from flying comes to you from Ryanair [Dumbass]

Saturday 4 July 5:02:14 UTC 2015

[link] [38 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 4 July 4:51:20 UTC 2015

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are The Best Competitive Eaters So Skinny?

Saturday 4 July 4:50:22 UTC 2015

Mostly so they don't die. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tired of the sharks getting all the news, Yellowstone bison get their gore on. Again [Scary]

Saturday 4 July 4:45:05 UTC 2015

[link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Tiny Town That’s Home to America’s Oldest July 4th Celebration

Saturday 4 July 4:31:00 UTC 2015

Bristol, Rhode Island covers only about 10 miles of the country's terrain, but it's home to America's most storied Independence Day celebrations. [Link]

Mental Floss » 3 Great Moments in Presidential Debt

Saturday 4 July 3:30:00 UTC 2015

Properly managing one’s finances seems like it should be a prerequisite for running a country. But these U.S. leaders could have used more dead presidents in their wallets. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 4 July 3:29:36 UTC 2015

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Rusty says FML

Saturday 4 July 3:22:18 UTC 2015

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's scariest hotel room, not including your last stay at an Econo Lodge [Strange]

Saturday 4 July 3:15:40 UTC 2015

[link] [61 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Terror Attacks on U.S. Capitol, J.P. Morgan

Saturday 4 July 3:00:00 UTC 2015

The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 190th installment in the series. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In this week's episode of Nnnnnope: "If you get stung by one of these wasps, just lie down and start screaming" [Scary]

Saturday 4 July 2:38:30 UTC 2015

[link] [172 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Bony Facts About Amargasaurus

Saturday 4 July 2:30:00 UTC 2015

Amagarasaurus' neck has been baffling scientists for decades. [Link]

Mental Floss » A Super Simple Hack for Falling Asleep Faster

Saturday 4 July 1:30:00 UTC 2015

Sticking one foot outside the covers could help you fall asleep faster. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What is "American food"? Chefs can't decide. Ok, Americans. You eat it every day; what say you? [Interesting]

Saturday 4 July 1:05:29 UTC 2015

[link] [430 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Time-Bending Words from 'Back to the Future'

Saturday 4 July 0:30:00 UTC 2015

Thirty years ago today, Back to the Future blasted into theaters, sending one Marty McFly back 30 years himself to 1955. [Link]

FMyLife » worriedman says FML

Saturday 4 July 0:22:41 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend told me that once you love somebody you can never truly fall "out of love" with them. She wasn't talking about me, she was talking about her ex. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NBC News warns of ISIS attacks in the U.S. during celebrations over the Fourth of July weekend on news that there is no specific, credible intelligence to indicate any threats. EVERYBODY PANIC [Stupid]

Saturday 4 July 0:07:46 UTC 2015

[link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bear [Photoshop]

Saturday 4 July 0:00:01 UTC 2015

[link] [16 comments] [Link]

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