John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » Anon says FML

Friday 15 May 23:58:33 UTC 2015

Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Aca-Awesome Celebrities Who Sang A Cappella In School

Friday 15 May 23:45:00 UTC 2015

Long before they were winning awards and our hearts, these 15 celebrities were just college kids with some extracurricular interests in singing. 1. JOHN LEGEND John Legend now produces an a cappella documentary series called "Sing It On," which just premiered this week, and who better to contribute to a show like that than a Grammy-winner with his own a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists are lying about climate change. Specifically, they are lying about how well and truly f*cked we actually are [Scary]

Friday 15 May 23:36:31 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [330 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Leprosy Probably Came to the UK with a Scandinavian Man

Friday 15 May 23:30:00 UTC 2015

Leprosy, an infection caused by the bacteria Mycobacterium leprae, has affected humanity for thousands of years, spreading from the Middle East to Europe during the Roman Empire. According to new research, the disease likely arrived in the British Isles in the 5th or 6th century with a young man from Scandinavia. In Britain, leprosy infection rates peaked between the 12th … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A strong grip can predict heart disease, improve sex life [Interesting]

Friday 15 May 22:56:22 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Historic Terms for Crime and Punishment, Defined

Friday 15 May 22:45:00 UTC 2015

What does it mean if one “pleads the belly” so as to avoid “gibbeting,” perhaps as a punishment for “petty treason,” all the while hoping to just be sentenced to “transportation”? These were terms used daily in courtrooms throughout the 16th to 19th centuries, each one representing a fascinating and often disturbing piece of history. Here are 15 terms of … [Link]

Mental Floss » Google's Self-Driving Cars Will Hit the Road This Summer

Friday 15 May 22:30:00 UTC 2015

Google’s new self-driving car is getting ready to hit the road—as early as this summer, in fact. These pod-like vehicles—the designs for which were unveiled last May—are completely autonomous and the first to be totally developed by the Internet giant. (Its previous fleet of self-driving cars were converted Lexus SUVs; some of these have already been making regular trips on … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Map shows "most distinctive" causes of death in each state, so congratulations on your syphilis, Louisiana, and you, too, on your "legal intervention," Nevada [Interesting]

Friday 15 May 22:04:27 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Amazing Things You Didn't Know People Race

Friday 15 May 21:45:00 UTC 2015

In the millennia since early humans began racing each other, people have found some unconventional takes on the classic footrace. [Link]

The Onion » News in Photos: Tsarnaev Death Penalty A Warning To Any Other Religious Fanatics Hoping To Be Martyred

Friday 15 May 21:31:00 UTC 2015


[Link]

Mental Floss » What's the Right Way to Make an Old Fashioned?

Friday 15 May 21:30:00 UTC 2015

Happy World Whiskey Day! With bourbon outselling vodka in 2014 for the first time in almost a decade, the U.S. and its booming whiskey industry has lots to celebrate. Since we’ve already covered how whiskey is made, we’re marking the day with an Old Fashioned and a dive into the cocktail’s history. There’s plenty of material: its origins are so … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Young man with a few thousand dollars at his disposal goes to auction to buy the squad car of his father who was killed in the line of duty. Bidding gets out of hand and when the gavel finally falls it was sold for almost $63K… and a box of tissues

Friday 15 May 21:00:03 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today, salad dressing. Tomorrow, the world [Scary]

Friday 15 May 20:57:13 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Not-So-Delicious Candy Gimmicks

Friday 15 May 20:45:00 UTC 2015

Competition for shelf space is fierce in the candy industry, where only the sweetest survive. Trying to capture the attention of children—a notoriously discriminating, albeit nose-picking crowd—has led to some creative, curious, and downright bizarre confections and promotions. To help navigate this foil-wrapped underworld, we turned to Jason Liebig, candy authority and operator of CollectingCandy.com, home to thousands of archived … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Chicago Taco Bell Could Be First In Nation To Serve Alcohol

Friday 15 May 20:37:00 UTC 2015

A Taco Bell in the Wicker Park neighborhood of Chicago has applied for a liquor license, which if granted would mark the first Taco Bell location in the country to serve alcohol. What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » Pigs and Mice Have the Lowliest Jobs in Richard Scarry’s Busytown

Friday 15 May 20:30:00 UTC 2015

Job discrimination is so pervasive, it’s even an issue in the fictional utopia of Busytown. Sociologist John Levi Martin combed through almost 300 children’s books—including Richard Scarry’s beloved What Do People Do All Day?—and found that certain kinds of anthropomorphized animals were consistently depicted as having less prestigious professions than others. “Jobs that allow the occupant to exercise authority over … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's already Friday, so here's the Fark Weird News Quiz. I mean, it isn't like you're sitting around reading breaking news or anyth– oh dear [Survey]

Friday 15 May 20:26:28 UTC 2015

Survey [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you live in Michigan and borrowed from Western Sky Financial, the bad news is you are an idiot. The good news is MI's AG is forcing them to drop the interest rate on their loans from 169% to 7% the max by law in the state for unlicensed lender

Friday 15 May 20:26:10 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be remanded into the custody of the Baltimore Police Department [NewsFlash]

Friday 15 May 20:25:53 UTC 2015

NewsFlash [link] [751 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man mows family's lawn, and their ducks for good measure [Florida]

Friday 15 May 20:10:55 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "What no one wants to say out loud is that this is a big win for the NSA, and a huge nothing burger for the privacy community" [Followup]

Friday 15 May 20:08:30 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these all-American men [Photoshop]

Friday 15 May 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Story Behind Beatles Album Art

Friday 15 May 20:00:00 UTC 2015

Learn the stories behind all of The Beatles' album art. * Back before modern technology, people were sometimes buried alive. Here are some wacky methods used to determine if someone was actually dead. * Intriguing Headline of the Day: Watch A Diamond Burn In Pure Oxygen * Don't read this if you have a long roadtrip coming up. This list … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is probably the greatest and most disgusting prank ever done to a man on his stag do [Hero]

Friday 15 May 19:58:13 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Pick the Unnamed Character From Each of These Novel Titles

Friday 15 May 19:56:29 UTC 2015

[Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Surprising Non-Turnpike Things to Know About New Jersey

Friday 15 May 19:45:00 UTC 2015

Living humbly in the shadow of New York City, the state of New Jersey has drawn something of a raw deal when it comes to reputation. But the Garden State has its share of wonders, achievements, and claims to general grandeur. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Step-father gives away his step-daughter's car because it's so filthy it would not qualify as a forfeit car on Top Gear [Silly]

Friday 15 May 19:39:34 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How bad do your table manners have to be to get arrested at a salad bar? [Sick]

Friday 15 May 19:29:24 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [55 comments] [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: McDonald’s Turns 75

Friday 15 May 19:20:00 UTC 2015

Today marks the 75th anniversary of the McDonald’s restaurant chain, which was founded in 1940 as a Southern California barbecue joint and has since expanded to more than 35,000 locations across the globe. Here are some highlights from the company’s history: 1939: Nation’s cattle don’t know what’s about to hit them
1940: Brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald open their original …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "An Oklahoma woman charged with slashing the corpse of her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend at a funeral home has now been hit with an additional count of unlawful removal of a deceased person's body part" [Followup]

Friday 15 May 19:16:51 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [47 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Sports News in Brief: Report: Most Arena Football Games End With Players Just Kind Of Walking Off Field

Friday 15 May 19:06:00 UTC 2015

LOUISVILLE, KY—According to a study published Friday by the University of Louisville, the majority of Arena Football League games abruptly end with the players just kind of walking off the field. “We found that arena football games frequently end in the middle of a play as the player with the ball suddenly slows to a stop, tosses the ball onto … [Link]

The Onion » News in Photos: Supreme Court Debuts New Spaghetti Strap Sun-Robes For Spring

Friday 15 May 19:03:00 UTC 2015


[Link]

Mental Floss » New York: Come to the mental_floss Trivia Show!

Friday 15 May 19:02:31 UTC 2015

Less than one week until the next stop for the mental_floss Trivia Show: New York! Come meet co-founders Will Pearson and Mangesh Hattikudur (among others) and support a great cause. New York When: May 20, 2015, 6:30-8:30 PM Where: Le Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker St. Good Cause: All proceeds benefit John and Hank Green’s P4A: Project for Awesome. Cost: $15 … [Link]

Futility Closet » A 17th-Century Hiccup Cure

Friday 15 May 18:52:20 UTC 2015

In his 1607 Rich Storehouse, or Treasurie for the Diseased, Matthew Blower offers “a present medicine for the hickop”: Take thy finger ends, and stop both thine ears very hard, and the hickop will surcease immediately. I found this in Julian Walker’s How to Cure the Plague and Other Curious Remedies (2013), a collection of historical cures for various maladies. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Harlem Hellfighter" Pvt Henry Johnson — who may actually have been a Time-Travelling Don Cheadle — to belatedly receive the Medal of Honor for taking out a dozen German soldiers in WWI using a rifle, a club, a knife and finally his bare ha

Friday 15 May 18:51:16 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A cemetery was vandalized in Western Maine, and the culprits were a skunk and a groundhog. No word on if the skunk was saying French phrases [Weird]

Friday 15 May 18:45:45 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 of the World's Most Expensive Cheeses

Friday 15 May 18:45:00 UTC 2015

There's so much more to the wonderful world of cheese than your typical grocery store brick would suggest. Thousands of artisan cheeses around the world are produced via their own intricate and labor-intensive processes, which create complex and stunning flavor profiles. There are many wonderful American-made and imported fine cheeses that won't break the bank … but none of those … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California drought is making pot more poten…whoa…I feel like I'm floating on marshmallows [Spiffy]

Friday 15 May 18:40:00 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New technology means that the Six Million Dollar Man would cost only $12,000 in parts today. If you also consider medical costs, the total balloons to $33 million. Thanks Obama [Interesting]

Friday 15 May 18:35:34 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia to pass law banning "foreign undesirables." All Dutchmen now have 48 hours to leave Russian territory [Obvious]

Friday 15 May 18:33:36 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Strange States: Rhode Island's Professor Josiah S. Carberry

Friday 15 May 18:30:00 UTC 2015

If you want to learn about someplace, you can always pick up a textbook. But if you want to get to know a place, you're going to have to dig a little deeper. And what you find there might be a little strange.The Strange States series will take you on a virtual tour of America to uncover the unusual people, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese police discover 51 people in van built for 6. Article includes sped up video but Yakety Sax sadly missing [Amusing]

Friday 15 May 18:18:01 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mourners in funeral procession lose hearse in traffic, finally catch up and follow it to cemetery, only one small problem [Amusing]

Friday 15 May 18:10:41 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [13 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Report: Millennials Leaving Christian Faith In Droves

Friday 15 May 18:04:00 UTC 2015

According to a new report by the Pew Research Center, the population of Americans who identify as Christian has dropped significantly over the past eight years, in part because one-third of millennials now say they are unaffiliated with any faith. What do you think?


[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even super-lawyer Amal Clooney can't make Britain give Greece back the statutes Lord Elgin stole from the Parthenon in the 1800's [Interesting]

Friday 15 May 17:59:21 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review

Friday 15 May 17:48:25 UTC 2015

Snake Swallows Salad Tongs Aaron Rouse of Adelaide, Australia, was feeding his python Winston a rat held with a pair of salad tongs. The snake decided he wanted all of it- including the tongs. Rouse tried to pull the tongs out, but Winston would not let go. Before you know it, the tongs were completely inside! Rouse took Winston to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Friday Modmin Spam Selection: Everyone needs like inside their daily life, thinking of you're these troubles we're dependably there in your case and obtainable all day long, on a daily basis to create all your concerns out out of your existen

Friday 15 May 17:45:34 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Secrets of Real Estate Agents

Friday 15 May 17:45:00 UTC 2015

Real estate agents play a huge role in one of the most important financial decisions of our lives. When it comes to buying, selling, leasing, or renting, they’re the ones who shepherd us through a process that can only be described as overwhelming. We talked to a handful of agents across the country to learn more about the tricks of … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Homeschooling Kentucky family has its kids removed by the state because they were living in squalor, without running water or a septic system. Apparently they had Facebook, though [Sick]

Friday 15 May 17:39:14 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [278 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Discover the First Warm-Blooded Fish

Friday 15 May 17:30:00 UTC 2015

The unique thing about the moonfish isn’t the fact that it's as big as a car tire or comically round. It’s its blood. The opah, or moonfish, is the first species of fish identified by scientists that’s warm-blooded. While tuna and some sharks can temporarily retain a bit of heat in the muscles they use for swimming [PDF], their bodies … [Link]

Mental Floss » Pick The Second Word of These Famous Two-word Advertising Tag Lines

Friday 15 May 17:22:47 UTC 2015

Image courtesy of Getty Images [Link]

Mental Floss » Girl Scouts Enter the Wild with New Badges

Friday 15 May 17:15:00 UTC 2015

Image Credit: National Park Service [PDF] The Girl Scouts of the USA aren’t just about selling cookies; they recently launched two new initiatives to expand their program into the great outdoors. The Girl Scout Ranger Program, developed in partnership with the National Park Service, promotes appreciation and understanding of national parks through activities like hiking, biking, wildlife observation, and guided … [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Media Organizations Make Pilgrimage To Facebook Headquarters To Lay Content At Foot Of Mark Zuckerberg

Friday 15 May 16:50:00 UTC 2015

MENLO PARK, CA—Traveling from every corner of the global media industry in hopes of bringing good favor to their organizations, emissaries from hundreds of publications reportedly made their daily pilgrimage to Facebook’s headquarters this morning in order to lay their content at the foot of Mark Zuckerberg. “Sir, I humbly offer you this 650-word feature on community gardens in New … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Giant Ferris wheel known as the Orlando Eye immediately shuts down due to "irregularity." Which is a fancy way of saying "is so unstable it could roll off its bearings and into traffic" [Florida]

Friday 15 May 16:46:19 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Early Driving Etiquette and Safety Rules We Should Bring Back

Friday 15 May 16:45:00 UTC 2015

In the early days of the automobile, traffic laws were largely nonexistent. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 19 zoos must have elephant threesomes by the end of next year or their pachyderms will be sent to zoos where they can have more fun [Interesting]

Friday 15 May 16:43:37 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bill Cosby to young people: Look, just because I raped a bunch of women doesn't mean I don't have important advice to give you about your future. Now shut up and listen to me before I drug you [Dumbass]

Friday 15 May 16:39:19 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [212 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Pod City: Super Podcasts About Comics

Friday 15 May 16:30:00 UTC 2015

Every eight minutes, a comic-book podcast is born. OK, so I may be exaggerating—but not by much. As a longtime comics enthusiast, I’ve been excited, and a bit intimidated, by the flood of podcasts devoted to the medium. This week I share some of my favorites, that cover everything from mainstream books to indie work to comic-based movies and TV … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Planetary alignment suggests that a massive earthquake will hit California on May 28. The fact that the earthquake disaster movie San Andreas opens May 29 is purely a coincidence [Unlikely]

Friday 15 May 16:26:05 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stephen Hawking says that computers will overtake humans within 100 years. Which is an interesting statement coming from someone who wouldn't be able to speak without his keyboard-activated synthesized voice [Interesting]

Friday 15 May 16:15:32 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Surprisingly Delicious Ways to Use Chocolate Chips

Friday 15 May 15:45:00 UTC 2015

On National Chocolate Chip Day, show your appreciation for the tasty morsels in one of these creative ways. [Link]

FMyLife » bluestripedsockm says FML

Friday 15 May 15:40:18 UTC 2015

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I'm Looking Extra Perky Today, If You Follow Me

Friday 15 May 15:00:41 UTC 2015

Office hoochie #1: Ow! It's cold in here today.Office hoochie #2: Yeah, and where you sit, you get blowed from there, there, and there (points to ceiling)Office hoochie #1: Yeah, I get blowed from all directions!Baton Rouge, LouisianaOverheard by: Getting in line! [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Anyway, That'll Be a Thousand Dollars.

Friday 15 May 15:00:40 UTC 2015

Coworker, noticing repairman had just fixed door: Yay, the door's fixed!Repairman: Yeah, but I don't know for how long.Raleigh, North Carolina [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Stupid Spell-Check

Friday 15 May 15:00:38 UTC 2015

Office worker to colleague: Did you just ask a copywriter how to spell “hmmm”?London
England [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 2PM Forward FedEx to Kevin

Friday 15 May 15:00:33 UTC 2015

Co-worker: Can you e-mail a hard copy of that file to me? 1420 5th Avenue
Seattle, Washington [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Fashion Is My Religion, Honeypie

Friday 15 May 15:00:32 UTC 2015

Gay coworker: I don’t dress up for Halloween, it’s against my religion!Straight coworker: Oh, is that the same religion you consulted when choosing your sexuality?Dublin, OhioOverheard by: Stoopid like a fox [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Map Woolly Mammoth Genome

Friday 15 May 15:00:00 UTC 2015

Flying Puffin, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY-SA 2.0 Around 4000 years ago, the last woolly mammoths disappeared from Earth. Those final survivors lived and died on Wrangel Island, off the coast of northeast Russia. Their mainland Siberian relatives had died out some 6000 years before that. Now scientists are one step closer to figuring out what caused these beasts to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FAA declares Washington, D.C. a "no drone zone." Apparently no FAA official has ever attended a congressional hearing [Followup]

Friday 15 May 14:57:49 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Historic Wonders Housed in the Vatican's Secret Archives

Friday 15 May 14:45:00 UTC 2015

First, a caveat: Anyone with a strong grasp of Latin—or a distaste for Dan Brown novels—will warn others not to get too excited about the name of this papal library. Archivum Secretum looks like it would refer to a “secret” archive, but the translation is actually closer to “private archive,” and it serves as a place where the personal documents … [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Treasury Department Honors Women With First Female Currency

Friday 15 May 14:41:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—Saying it was time all Americans were equally represented, the U.S. Treasury Department announced Thursday that it would honor the nation’s women by introducing the country’s first female currency. “For too long, our currency has only been representative of half the country, but beginning today, women in the United States will finally be able to carry and use money that’s … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Earthquake in NZ: "I was sitting on a bar stool and it rocked a bit and the drinks on the table moved a little bit. Luckily my drink wasn't spilled. If it had I would have licked it off the table" [Amusing]

Friday 15 May 14:32:02 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Just Like That, the Headache Was Gone

Friday 15 May 14:25:50 UTC 2015

Coworker #1: Will you come over and put a cold compress on my head?Coworker #2: Sure, what do you want me to wear?355 Park Avenue
New York, New YorkOverheard by: BiPolar [Link]

Mental Floss » How Much Wood Can a Woodchuck Chuck?

Friday 15 May 14:00:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missing Marine helicopter in Nepal has been found [Followup]

Friday 15 May 13:23:07 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Are heated sidewalks a good idea for Montreal?" Duh [Cool]

Friday 15 May 13:22:42 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Think before you build

Friday 15 May 13:16:17 UTC 2015

Back in the 1930s, Benjamin Klinger spent 4 years building a boat in his basement. Then discovered he couldn't get the boat out of his basement.

Unfortunately, I can't find any report that tells what ended up happening. Did he tear down a wall to get the boat out? Or is the boat still sitting there to this day?


Sources: … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop the scariest Harry Potter villain of them all [Photoshop]

Friday 15 May 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a surprise move to… nobody: A federal jury has cleared six former Philadelphia drug squad officers in a drug corruption case [Misc]

Friday 15 May 12:32:36 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amtrak derailment could have been prevented had Amtrak been able to buy the RF spectrum needed by its otherwise ready-to-go Positive Train Control system. But money & rules [Followup]

Friday 15 May 12:28:34 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fat, naked, and running from the police into the ocean is no way to go through life, son [Dumbass]

Friday 15 May 12:22:59 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Burglar tries to open door through cat flap with a spade. Then homeowner steals his spade [Fail]

Friday 15 May 12:13:57 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Only an Atomic Wedgie Can Save Me!

Friday 15 May 12:11:34 UTC 2015

Shocked security guard: You gave it to me?! You gave me the cooties!28 East 28th Street
New York, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Motorcycle chase in Chickasha, Oklahoma is stopped by…well…a perfect stereotype of who you might expect to live in Chickasha, Oklahoma [Hero]

Friday 15 May 11:54:29 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Unexplored Corners of the Earth

Friday 15 May 11:45:00 UTC 2015

You can visit remote, exotic locales from your web browser; and yet, some hidden corners of the Earth still remain essentially uncharted. [Link]

Weird Universe » Forbidden Zone

Friday 15 May 11:41:14 UTC 2015

Full background here. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Touch and Go

Friday 15 May 11:15:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

FMyLife » semokco says FML

Friday 15 May 10:55:19 UTC 2015

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML [Link]

FMyLife » sistertaxi says FML

Friday 15 May 10:55:18 UTC 2015

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML [Link]

GraphJam » Uses of TinyURL

Friday 15 May 10:50:16 UTC 2015

Graph by: R3d33m3r Tagged: internet , Pie Chart , rickroll , tinyurl , website Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Re-Plotted: Now This I Can Understand

Friday 15 May 10:50:15 UTC 2015

Honestly, I just use the salad fork for everything. Less confusion, perfect size. Graph by: SpaggyB Tagged: etiquitte , forks , foul bachelor frog , spoons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Life Cycle of a 7/11 Taquito

Friday 15 May 10:50:14 UTC 2015

7-11,food,grossout,Michael Bay,poop,taquitos Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: 7-11 , food , grossout , Michael Bay , poop , taquitos Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Two Second Volley, Followed by Five Minute Search

Friday 15 May 10:50:11 UTC 2015

Graph by: littlestar007 Tagged: chase , chasing , Pie Chart , ping pong , search Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Pen15 Club

Friday 15 May 10:50:09 UTC 2015

Untitled Graph by: Unknown Tagged: infographic , innocent , menage a trois , pen15 , pens , positions , protection , sex Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Requesta de Pace

Friday 15 May 10:50:04 UTC 2015

How I learned Italian Cleverness Here Graph by: Unknown Tagged: assassins creed , italian , Pie Chart , rip , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » sh*t I'll Get Fired For

Friday 15 May 10:50:02 UTC 2015

deals fired policy sarcasm stealing truth work - 2109629696 Graph by: Scarlet_letterman84 Tagged: deals , fired , policy , sarcasm , stealing , truth , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It Doesn't Have the 'True Story' Guy So It Must Be Fake

Friday 15 May 10:49:59 UTC 2015

blueberry guy fake Pie Chart Rage Comics self referential true story - 6225962752 Graph by: Lolligator Tagged: blueberry guy , fake , Pie Chart , Rage Comics , self referential , true story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Friday 15 May 10:49:58 UTC 2015

cat,language,lost in translation,meow,Pie Chart Graph by: mizlilly236 Tagged: cat , language , lost in translation , meow , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Our Irrational Fears Embodied in One Graph

Friday 15 May 10:49:56 UTC 2015

Graph by: S.P.A-Bits (via www.bite.ca) Tagged: daddy , fears , irrational , legs , long , spiders , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Linear Progression of Facebook Suckery

Friday 15 May 10:49:55 UTC 2015

facebook friends internet suck welcome LoL by: thepacz Tagged: facebook , friends , internet , suck , welcome Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fapping at My Chamber Door

Friday 15 May 10:49:54 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Awkward , college , faptimes , Pie Chart , roommate Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » BEER PINT foam delicious cool beer undrinkable warm crap

Friday 15 May 10:49:53 UTC 2015

alcohol beer doing it wrong glass - 3776717056 Graph by: the.liqweed Tagged: alcohol , beer , doing it wrong , glass Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Zelda's a Girl! Get It Right, Gaw!

Friday 15 May 10:49:52 UTC 2015

Who non-gamers think Zelda is Graph by: DivideByZeroError Tagged: best of week , gamers , link , Pie Chart , video games , zelda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Even Get Me Started on Disney Characters

Friday 15 May 10:49:49 UTC 2015

Graph by: Evertide Tagged: anime , characters , Pie Chart , race Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Pictured: Checking My Pulse and Nearly Wetting Myself

Friday 15 May 10:49:48 UTC 2015

amnesia,best of week,Pie Chart,scary,video games Graph by: Unknown Tagged: amnesia , best of week , Pie Chart , scary , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Warning, Science Ahead!

Friday 15 May 10:49:45 UTC 2015

best of week,Chemistry,evolution,periodic table Science Has Dropped Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , Chemistry , evolution , periodic table Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When I get sick

Friday 15 May 10:49:44 UTC 2015

Bar Graph,class,concert,during,ill,sick,summer,vaction,weekend Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , class , concert , during , ill , sick , summer , vaction , weekend Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Suddenly, Spaghetti Arms

Friday 15 May 10:49:39 UTC 2015

Graph by: oozemaw Tagged: Bar Graph , girls , impressive , jar , weak Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Breakfast Time Somewhere

Friday 15 May 10:49:38 UTC 2015

breakfast cereal Line Graph midnight snack - 4575479808 Graph by: zoomonick Tagged: breakfast , cereal , Line Graph , midnight snack Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Snack That Embraces Death With a Smile

Friday 15 May 10:49:36 UTC 2015

advertising,commercials,goldfish,snacks,venn diagram Graph by: Eagle11 Tagged: advertising , commercials , goldfish , snacks , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Best Hair In Hollywood

Friday 15 May 10:49:35 UTC 2015

awesome,hair,movies Graph by: Unknown Tagged: awesome , hair , movies Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Friday 15 May 10:49:34 UTC 2015

books impossible scrolls sweater venn diagram waldo where is he wheres-wally - 4085935872 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: books , impossible , scrolls , sweater , venn diagram , waldo , where is he , wheres-wally Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Harry Potter and the Pitched Tents

Friday 15 May 10:49:32 UTC 2015

Graph by: JoKey42 Tagged: camping , deathly hallows , Harry Potter , hermione , Pie Chart , ron , voldemort Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things I learned from watching Bill Nye

Friday 15 May 10:49:31 UTC 2015

bill nye Gravity motion Pie Chart science song Theme Song TV - 3510703616 Graph by: iwantamonkey00 Tagged: bill nye , Gravity , motion , Pie Chart , science , song , Theme Song , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Friday 15 May 10:49:29 UTC 2015

computer f5 looking serious pebkac Pie Chart problems refresh - 4068641536 Graph by: absolutelyQT Tagged: computer , f5 , looking serious , pebkac , Pie Chart , problems , refresh Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » A Guide to Pairing Herbs With Your Food

Friday 15 May 10:30:00 UTC 2015

If you ever find yourself with a stash of basil that you don't know how to use, or get nervous seasoning your meal, this guide is for you. PersonalCreations.com created a comprehensive guide to matching your herbs with the right food. Of course, everyone's palate is different, but this is a great start for learning how to combine different flavors. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's embarrassing when you find a trash bag inside a house you just inherited and some rival relatives sprinkle a white powder in the trash bag, so you bring the trash bag into the police station and it makes everyone's throat burn and nose b

Friday 15 May 10:04:31 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Ways to Laugh Online

Friday 15 May 9:45:00 UTC 2015

We can't actually hear someone chortle or guffaw through the internet, but we still want to express our emotions. Luckily, internet residents have come up with a whole slew of ways to convey laughter online. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Emojis may be the one thing that can save endangered species across the globe [Unlikely]

Friday 15 May 9:32:40 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Return of Mad Max

Friday 15 May 9:30:27 UTC 2015

Mad Max: Fury Road: Fast, Thrilling, and (Yes) Feminist. What may be the biggest action movie of the year manages to include women the way superhero films don’t.
*
An Interview with Mad Max: Fury Road Director George Miller. Learn some background on the film before you go and see it.
*
This Engaged Couple Got To See What They … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here are 22 kids that got detention for doing hilarious things. Discuss your funny detention stories about yourself or another person to the right, please [Amusing]

Friday 15 May 9:07:26 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're an idiot and like to yell "FHRITP" at female reporters, that'll cost you $402 per utterance in Canada. Don't forget that news crews have cameras and can get your plate number [Followup]

Friday 15 May 8:20:29 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [330 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why are you DOING THIS TO ME? Adorable baby's reaction to trying avocado for the first time (w/video) [Amusing]

Friday 15 May 8:18:39 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Utah residents buy twice as much candy as anyone else in the country: "We're Mormons. We don't drink alcohol, we don't smoke, we avoid coffee – but we certainly do sugar" [Amusing]

Friday 15 May 7:48:00 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [43 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » what even says FML

Friday 15 May 7:47:10 UTC 2015

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 People You Probably Had No Idea Guest Starred on 'The Adventures of Pete

Friday 15 May 7:45:00 UTC 2015

If Are You Afraid of the Dark? was a way station for future stars on the road to fame, The Adventures of Pete & Pete, which ran from 1993 to 1996, was more of a fun side gig for those who had already made it. Below are 15 famous folks that you probably forgot guest starred on the Nickelodeon series. … [Link]

Mental Floss » Cuba Has a Lung Cancer Treatment, and Now So Will the U.S.

Friday 15 May 7:30:00 UTC 2015

By renewing relations with Cuba, America stands to gain more than just a political or economic ally. Our approach to cancer treatment could benefit, too. In Cuba, a country known for its cigars, lung cancer has been the fourth-leading cause of death. And despite stunted progress in other sectors, Cuba's government has long prioritized biotechnology and medical research, particularly preventative … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First truck nuts, now bike balls [Silly]

Friday 15 May 7:11:00 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Ballot Measures

Friday 15 May 6:58:50 UTC 2015

One of democracy’s ideals is egalitarianism: Each person gets one vote, and all votes are equally consequential, so that all people have equal power over the world. For that reason we consider it improper for one person to vote twice in the same election. But then shouldn’t we also consider it improper for dual citizens to cast votes in two … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Thrill is gone [Sad]

Friday 15 May 6:01:28 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [272 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Islands Overrun by Cute Animals

Friday 15 May 5:45:00 UTC 2015

Strange things happen in island ecosystems, and occasionally—whether by accident, or design—a population of adorable creatures takes over. They draw tourists, can be a little spooky, and sometimes wreak havoc. But you have to admit: they are pretty cute. 1. Ōkunoshima, Japan // Rabbits Often called Usaga Jima, or Rabbit Island, this place was once a top-secret chemical weapons production … [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Outdoor Movie Guest Excited To Watch Barely Audible ‘Back To The Future’ While Sitting On Tree Root

Friday 15 May 5:30:00 UTC 2015

CHARLOTTE, NC—Thrilled at the prospect of having to constantly reposition himself while straining to hear the movie’s dialogue, local man Sam Weber was excited Friday to watch a barely audible outdoor screening of Back To The Future from atop a hard, knobby tree root, sources reported. “Oh, man, I can’t wait to tiptoe around hundreds of people’s blankets before realizing … [Link]

Mental Floss » How Do You Clean an $8.8 Billion Telescope? With High-Speed Snowballs

Friday 15 May 4:17:04 UTC 2015

When it comes to cleaning an $8.8 billion space telescope designed to see farther into the universe than humans have ever been able to before, you can’t just break out a few Clorox wipes. You can, however, blast it with snow. The James Webb Space Telescope, the NASA-born successor to Hubble, is set to launch in 2018 as a collaboration … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "My dad asked me to eat McDonald's for 10 days. This is what happened" [Weird]

Friday 15 May 4:15:21 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Common Phrases that Come from Boxing

Friday 15 May 3:30:00 UTC 2015

While boxing isn’t as popular as it once was, the practice of fighting with fists, also known as pugilism, is so deeply entrenched in our culture, we might not know we’re using centuries-old sayings from the gentleman’s sport every day. Here are 15 of them. 1. BEAT SOMEONE TO THE PUNCH To beat someone to the punch means to do … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People will run red lights and literally drive into the store when the Hot & Ready light is on at Krispy Kreme [Strange]

Friday 15 May 2:52:56 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Women are better drivers than men – but they are too modest to admit it" [Obvious]

Friday 15 May 1:58:46 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fox News blurs out cubist boobies in story on Picasso painting, so Slate decides to see what other great art would look like given the same treatment. Censored Rothko painting wins it all [Silly]

Friday 15 May 0:38:03 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [201 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Science of Why Pets Are Good for Kids

Friday 15 May 0:30:00 UTC 2015

If you grew up with a pet, you probably considered that animal a true friend: playmate, confidante, dress-up pal. In a child’s eyes, a pet is a true member of the family—and new research suggests that kids in turmoil rely on their pets even more than they do their siblings. It also sheds light on the unexpected ways that animals … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this micro plastic [Photoshop]

Friday 15 May 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Fragrances Inspired by Literature

Friday 15 May 0:00:00 UTC 2015

Few things elicit more powerful nostalgia than a scent or the pages of a beloved book—so it only makes sense then that literature and fragrance are frequent collaborators. Here are 15 such pairings, which might lead you to weave a fantastical tale of a romantic prospect who smells of library. Sometimes reality is better than fiction. 1. Paperback by Demeter … [Link]

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