Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » woof? says FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML [Link]
FMyLife » leonuniz says FML
Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Earthworms rain down on Norway. Residents brace for plague and pestilence [Strange]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nine tips for surviving a packed Japanese train. Number 4: the Michael Jackson technique [Amusing]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anunimos says FML
Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gyrocopter dude can't figure out why his message of campaign finance reform isn't getting through to Congress [Followup]
[link] [100 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ♩ ♫ My milk truck brings all the crews to the yard and they're like, "It's blocking the road." Damn right, it's blocking the road. I can clear it, but I have to charge ♩ ♫ [Scary]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What's worse than finding a cockroach in your Big Mac? Finding half a cockroach [Sick]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » French authorities seize two tons of cocaine, immediately realize Jerry Lewis isn't funny [Interesting]
[link] [7 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Army morale at six-year low as soldiers are dissatisfied with their jobs and distrust leadership. Which at least means they'll have no trouble eventually adjusting back into mainstream society [Fail]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Yeah a lot of you who have visited the Guitar Center in Manhattan lately, don't quit your day jobs… if you had one to begin with [Obvious]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A travelling we will go with P-22, the LA mountain lion with quite a following [Interesting]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this slick hiding spot [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "This is your last chance, either marry me or I will kill you and/or say bad things about you on Facebook" [Scary]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man yells homophobic slurs, chokes manager, and throws him into elderly woman because the restaurant took an hour to make him an omelette. Boy, does he have egg on his face [Scary]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Small town editor writes entire column on why he deleted an inappropriate Facebook post from the paper's site. Fark's moderators prepare for book deal [Silly]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Quickie
University of Strathclyde mathematician Adam McBride recalls that in his student days a particular teacher used to present a weekly puzzle. One of these baffled him: Find positive integers a, b, and c, all different, such that a3 + b3 = c4. “The previous puzzles had been relatively easy but this one had me stumped,” he wrote later. He created … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's Mad Libs headline comes to you from Iowa: "Chiropractor performs exorcisms and barters for sex with patients" [Weird]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Things You Might Not Have Known About Garlic
April 19th is National Garlic Day! Celebrate with a few fun facts about this delicious, flavor-packed add-in that can do almost anything, from reducing your cholesterol to keeping vampires at bay. [Link]
Mental Floss » First Roman Wood Toilet Seat Found at Vindolanda
There are many surviving examples of Roman latrines, with their characteristic marble bench seating dotted with keyhole-shaped openings. The seats weren't always stone, however. There were wooden toilet seats as well, but the organic material decayed, leaving behind only the stone or brick structure. But last year, archaeologists unearthed the first Roman toilet seat made of wood perfectly preserved in … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man runs three marathons to raise money for child he's never met so she can go to Disney World after her dad died. Subby ate an entire box of Little Debbies for breakfast [Hero]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the TV Titles Based on Their Antonyms
Take the quiz! [Link]
FMyLife » socialix says FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Is that an FM radio in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? [Interesting]
[link] [195 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Weird Universe goes Mobile Friendly
WU has taken a tentative step into the 21st Century by going "mobile friendly". Which means that if you look at the site on a mobile phone, it should actually be readable.
The biggest design change this involved was bringing back Rick Altergott's WU banner — because making an image banner automatically resize was a lot easier than rejiggering the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For the first time in a century, bald eagles are back in New York. See, that whole 'Freedom Tower' thing worked [Spiffy]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » California: LEAVE ALMONDS ALONE [Interesting]
[link] [196 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Songs That Sound Like They're About Women (But Aren't)
It’s always a bit unnerving when you’re certain you know what a song is about—then find out later you were way off base. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hermione to set sail once again for America. Harry drunk dials Cho Chang [Interesting]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » John Hinckley Jr. is now spending some time in the wild and is trying to adjust to a normal life. Dating is difficult for a guy like him, but he's open to raising some Foster children [Interesting]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wildfire in California threatens hundreds of homes. Fire would have been out much earlier, but water conservation efforts have the firefighters trying to put out the blaze with blankets [Obvious]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Kearton’s Imitation Ox
In his efforts to obtain photographs of some of the shyest birds, an English author resorted to the most ingenious devices, one of which was an imitation ox made of a bullock skin stretched over a wicker frame. Concealed in this with his camera, the lens of which peeped out of a hole in the chest, the naturalist photographer took … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » With the Possible Exception Of “Does This Smell Like Chloroform to You?”
CSR #1: I like that we are looking up how to make chloroform while talking about pick-up lines in bars…CSR #2: Well, we already decided that pick-up lines don't work.Boston, MassachusettsOverheard by: Chemist [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Must Be the Other White Girl
Male desk jockey to female desk jockey: Wow! Nice throw, Sally! That was great!Female desk jockey: (silent stare)Male desk jockey to other coworkers: Did you guys see that? Sally just got her shot in the bin from four desks away!Other coworkers: (silent stares)Female desk jockey, shouting: My name is Claire, you asshole! I've been sitting next to you for six months … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » My Tumor’s Gestating Nicely, Though
Worker bee to another: … So she said it was fine that she’s smoking a pack a day while she’s pregnant. She doesn’t mind if the baby comes out a little small.Another worker, from across the room: I’ve been smoking since I was 16, and my baby still isn’t born!Chesterfield, MissouriOverheard by: my mom smoked with me too… [Link]
Overheard In The Office » He's Always Down in the Vault With the Safe Deposit Boxes
Telephone receptionist, over intercom system: I need Dick on line three, Dick on line three!Bank
KentuckyOverheard by: will1966 [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Magazine Rack, You Pervs.
Boss to underling: How's that look over there? Is it in yet?College
Portland, Oregon [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Um, You Missed a Spot
Male coworker: I hit myself in the face a lot until I figured it out.Raleigh, North Carolina [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work
Co-worker on phone: When she goes to a restaurant, does she normally take it off?…Does she normally read the newspaper?…And the pouch, were you able to stick your hands all the way down in the back? 37383 Six Mile Road
Livonia, Michigan Overheard by: Next Door Nancy [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Creeped out couple pissed off they can't film their flock of low-flying aliens because their technology keeps getting wrapped in tin-foil [Strange]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Does One Become A Knight?
Here are the answers to some of the most pressing knighthood-related questions. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Mr. Scott: I Dunno How Much More She Can Hold, Captain!
Semi technologically-challenged nurse practitioner: Everything is going to my draft box.Aventura, FloridaOverheard by: Lizzo [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this deadly crossbreed [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: That time I cheated death [CSB]
[link] [173 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hundreds feared to have drowned after a migrant boat sinks off the coast of Libya, could be the worst naval disaster since the Battle of Cape Matapan [Scary]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Balloon Land
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The large party-hat-shaped penis…has been returned to its original location" [Followup]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » BMW recalling 92,000 Mini-Coopers after people start realizing how goddamned ridiculous they look driving the things [PSA]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Undercover Minnesota cops bust bar for selling Wisconsin's "Spotted Cow" beer after 'anonymous tip', noticing beer taps on bar's Facebook page. Will next investigate if the Radisson is 'pretty good' [Asinine]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Armstrong says FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML [Link]
FMyLife » thisisnotavirustrustme.exe says FML
Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It’s a Lovely Chenille
Employee: I didn’t ask to be employee of the month — the mantle was thrust upon me!Housewares store
New York, New YorkOverheard by: Tigertail [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Behold the power of the internet [Sappy]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Family wins back gold coins worth $80 million. You can't put a value on things like that [Interesting]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Where you going with that Mastiff hound? [Sad]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you happen to know how a heavy marble headstone made for a U.S. Army veteran buried in Oklahoma ended up in an alley in downtown Bakersfield, Veterans Affairs officials would like to have a word with you [Weird]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » A New Line
In 1948, as T.S. Eliot was departing for Stockholm to accept the Nobel Prize, a reporter asked which of his books had occasioned the honor. Eliot said, “I believe it’s given for the entire corpus.” The reporter said, “And when did you publish that?” Eliot later said, “It really might make a good title for a mystery — The Entire … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kate Middleton's friend has been holding orgies in the UK's first sharia hotel, and didn't think to invite even a single farker [Strange]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Our host isn't in the studio tonight, but here is an archived Livingston Stapler Company Presents show from March 10, 2012 for you to enjoy [Spiffy]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML [Link]
FMyLife » fuck says FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder what happens when a cop doesn't fear for his life? [Interesting]
[link] [231 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Can you really be called a 'Tree Ninja' if police catch you trying to chop a tree down with a hammer? [Dumbass]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "By the time Orlando firefighters and police arrived, the kitchen staff had cleaned the floor, rinsed the meat grinder and thrown the remains of Simpkins' fingers and the ground pork into the trash" [Florida]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Didn't They Outlaw That in the Early 90's?
Short fat woman, entering elevator: Hi, Gary, how are you this morning?Gary, sighing: Oh, I'm okay. And you?Short, fat woman: Well… I just started jazzercise on Mondays, and it's kicking my ass!Houston, TexasOverheard by: the elevator [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We Wondered About the Tubs of Hand Lotion
Perky career director: We're here to service all of you!Washington, DCOverheard by: theintern [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But She Stopped As Soon As I Called It That.
Gossipy receptionist: …and then she rode the wiener mobile.Erie, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Just Wrote “Masturbation” on Mine in Big Capital Letters
Underling: So do I submit my yearly review to you or Robert?Boss: Why are you being so anal about the reviews? They don't matter anyway.Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Do You Do That Math So Fast?
Customer: How much is a sheeet of 100 24-cent stamps?Clerk: $24.00.Customer: Okay, I'll take a sheet.Clerk: I don't have a sheet of 100. Will a roll of 100 be okay?Customer: I don't know. How much is that?Clerk: $24.00.US Post Office
Newton, Kansas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Let Me Rephrase That Question
Father: Did you wash your hands? Five-year-old kid returning from bathroom: Ummm… I’m pretty sure I didn’t get poop on them.Dental office
Tigard, OregonOverheard by: Robin [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Things We Learned About Aliens (and Hairspray) from Giorgio Tsoukalos’ AMA
The ‘Ancient Aliens’ star-turned-Internet meme shares his thoughts on extraterrestrial life and hairstyling. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What happens in Kansas when a kid knows more about a subject than their teacher? Child Protective Services seize the kid, police interrogate the kid, then search their house and arrest parents. Take that you fancy book learners [Scary]
[link] [241 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When they make this horror movie, the tagline will read: based on true events [Scary]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymus says FML
Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML [Link]
FMyLife » assault and imnotracistbuttery says FML
Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's Fark-ready headline: 'Church of Bacon' protests bank policies [Amusing]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this tail pulling good time [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
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