Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » I-Mockery's annual Valentine's Day card collection. The perfect gift for that special someone you love to hate [Amusing]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The only clue police have as to the identity of the armed robber who absconded with cash from a Subway restaurant last night was the man's unique shoes" [Florida]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » DumbFace714 says FML
Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Celebrating YouTube’s 10-Year Anniversary With The Most Popular Video From Each Year
On an otherwise regular Monday in February 2005, video file sharing website YouTube was launched. At the time, founders Chad Hurley, Steve Chen, and Jawed Karim just wanted to find an easier way to share videos between them and their friends, but YouTube has turned into arguably the most popular video sharing site on the Internet. In honor of its … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Washington Post romanticizes about Valentine's Day at the White House, featuring the JFK-Jackie Camelot marriage. Wholly accurate except for his affairs with Exner, Monroe, Alford, Dietrich, Dickinson, Rometsch, Meyer, Starr, Tierney, Von Post et
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this tickler [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » BuzzFeed sends reporter to eastern Ukraine to see what the awful Russians are up to, and discovers the people want nothing to do with Ukraine. Awkward [Interesting]
[link] [222 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman drives car off bridge. Car falls 60 ft and lands upright. Woman and her passenger are taken to hospital with minor injuries. TADA. With helpful picture of what a car may look like after falling 60 feet. Bonus: Hackensack [Interesting]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do the world's most romantic cities live up to the hype? Short answer? Yes. Long answer? Yes, yes, oh, oh, yes [Spiffy]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman gave two men she was drinking beer with money to buy more beer. They returned with the beer, argued, and the men returned to their tent with the beer. Hours later, they woke up to find their tent on fire [Florida]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Great Love Stories That Weren't All That Great
Valentine’s Day annoys a lot of people. So here’s a reminder that some relationships that are considered the greatest love stories of all time were pretty messed up. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Shots fired at Copenhagen free speech event hosting cartoonist who drew Mohammed [News]
[link] [366 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russian company offering tourists four-day, no insurance on earth will cover you guided-tank tours of Ukraine for just $3,000 (pics) [Spiffy]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "One way to convince advanced aliens that we are an intelligent species would be to teach them the rules of cricket, according to a leading scientist" [Unlikely]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Five officers respond to report of naked woman rolling around in snow [Obvious]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Legal: Putting "Jesus is my co-pilot" bumper sticker on your car. Illegal: Writing "Jesus is my co-pilot" in your driving logs [Dumbass]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The complete guide to choosing a yacht. Says one expert: "I don't like to overwhelm people with massive yachts right out of the box." Of course [PSA]
[link] [145 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boise, ID mayor's search for new ombudsman comes up empty-handed again, even after dozens of heavily armed police lay siege to candidate's home (w/pic of job search) [Amusing]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Wasn't That the Title Of a Filmstrip in Health Class?
Law firm partner: How much does it cost to raise a cock?Cherry Hill, New Jersey [Link]
Overheard In The Office » At the Bad Pick-Up Line Quarterfinals
Client: There are a lot of things you can eat that aren’t food.Photo studio
Culver City, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Presenting, the World's Smelliest Lock-Box
HR clerk to room full of tech guys: Hey guys, the men's restroom is going to be closed for a while. The plumber is here. Senior tech guy: Okay. Our loads are secure.Pearl, MississippiOverheard by: Brain Dancing [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 1PM Design Meeting
Designer to photo researcher: Try to find a nice child abuse shot. 10801 N. MoPac Expressway
Austin, Texas Overheard by: always listening [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Or Defrost a Poodle
Coworker: Oooh, look at that microwave. It’s all ’50s and industrial and stuff.Boss: Yeah, look how big it is. You could cook a whole baby in there!Atlanta, GeorgiaOverheard by: Glad I’m not her baby [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
Associate #1: Well, you look nice today.
Associate #2: Stop being mean to me! 11755 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California Overheard by: AJ Feuerman [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police foil plot to kill people at mall. Like, omigawd [Scary]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boy anonymously sends valentines to every girl in school. Officials attempting to ascertain his identity so they can suspend him for sexual harassment [Sappy]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Facts About American Singles
Graphic by Chloe Effron [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'Stolen' credit card used on three dating websites. Why didn't I think of that? [Unlikely]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Name On Valentine Misspelled
Name On Valentine Misspelled 
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Most Of What the Computer Does Is Your Fault, Pal
Male coworker: They stole my icons!IT guy: How can someone steal something inside of your computer?Male coworker: They're not where I left them!Ft. Lauderdale, Florida [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML [Link]
FMyLife » jostertoaster12 says FML
Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this intimidation [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Abnormals Anonymous
This 1964 novel by Stella Gray seems appropriate for WU.
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Like Glinda, the Good Witch Of the North
Frustrated coworker: No! I didn't see the website error! I've been in a bubble! I've literally been in a bubble!Needham, MassachusettsOverheard by: it was a big bubble… [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Put your white gloves and muskets away, Idaho has finally outlawed dueling [Strange]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Olaf the cat who was found stuck to the side of a building in the snow has been rescued and is ready to find a new home. That being said he has no interest in watching Frozen with you this Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [694 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 70 Years Ago Today, Kurt Vonnegut Was in Slaughterhouse-Five
"Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt." [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We Were Perfectly Dysfunctional before You Butted In. Who Even Asked You?
Recruiter #1: The fax wouldn’t go through. I don’t understand it.Recruiter #2: You left a staple in it.Recruiter #1: So?Admin: I think you’re setting yourself up to fail.330 Madison Avenue
New York, New York [Link]
Weird Universe » Kusama: Princess of Polka Dots
Creator of the "penis chair," among other objects of art.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Can a computer change the essence of who you are? [Unlikely]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Virginia woman who hates vegetables and drinks Pepsi every day celebrates her 106th birthday. Doesn't look a day over 102 [Spiffy]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman with artificial vagina made from pig intestine says now she's ready to pork [Spiffy]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonynonynon says FML
Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Innocence says FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Of all the things you can use to hide your face while robbing a Mini-Mart, camouflage boxer-brief underwear probably isn't the best choice [Stupid]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Red and Black
I propose a card game. I’ll shuffle an ordinary deck of cards and turn up the cards in pairs. If both cards in a given pair are black, I’ll give them to you. If both are red, I’ll take them. And if one is black and one red, then we’ll put them aside, belonging to no one. You pay a … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's Friday the 13th, so what better day to read about a Camp Crystal Lake young adult novel in which an electric fence kills more people than Jason Voorhees [Amusing]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And They Remind Me Too Much of My Baby-Carrot Member
Man, referring to golf pencils provided: Can I borrow something to write with? I can't use those small pencils. I'm a VIP!Virginia Beach, Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That's What You Said About David Hasselhoff!
Admin to another: Zombies would never happen, god wouldn't allow it.Schaumburg, Illinois [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Or a Q as in Cuba?
Phone rep: Can I get your name?Customer: [Mumbles.]Phone rep: I don’t think I got that. Did that start with a ‘K’… as in ‘cat’?Austin, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Some People Are Way Too Enthusiastic About Spam
Woman in next cube: It was used, too, which is kind of gross. But it works! It gets in those little cracks!Malvern, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: Don'tWannaKnow [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Historical auction sells sentimental favorites like Hitler's watercolor and General Patton's morgue toe tag [Weird]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Just Want Permission, I Don’t Care Whose
Blonde on cell: Yeah, well, I didn’t think I could either ’cause I was on those antibiotics, but he said I could, so that’s cool.Elevator, large insurance company
Bloomington, IllinoisOverheard by: even that was too much information for me [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida International University found a way to make HBOGO more expensive than your Time Warner Cable subscription [Misc]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Isn’t That a Stapler in Your Pocket?
Manager: Did you give up anything for lent?Underling: Yeah. Stealing office supplies from your company. It may not be much, but I think it’s pretty good considering I’m not even Catholic.Meacham Boulevard
Haltom, Texas [Link]
Mental Floss » Here Lies Ethan Allen … Or Not
Flickr User Don Shall // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 Ethan Allen: Revolutionary War hero; founder of the state of Vermont; namesake of an overpriced furniture store. Yes, he did a lot for our country, and after his death in 1789, his family and the state wanted to make sure that his grave was worthy of him and easily identified by any … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Romantic man proposes to his girlfriend with the help of her favorite animal, an elephant. He must be a keeper [Sappy]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this flying whatever [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Congress Should Make Hashtags a Controlled Drug
Reporter: Dude, her tweets were all over my site. And they weren't even relevant!Palo Alto, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "What if there were topless ladies screaming from the public gallery throwing bottles of mayonnaise?" [Strange]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Icebreaker heads down south because a bunch of fishermen don't like being crammed in a metal can on a shelf [Obvious]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » cyprianista says FML
Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For birthday celebration, parent of six-year-old enters Chuck E. Cheese's "at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning, surrounded by enough flashing lights to fill a Tokyo porn district," survives to tell the tale [Scary]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man shot in Butte treated for a gunshot wound to his arm [Strange]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US eases restrictions on many Cuban goods… but not cigars, guns, classic cars, or anything remotely resembling fun [Fail]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Bumpy Facts About Ceratosaurus
Like a ’56 T-Bird parked in a lot full of hybrids, Ceratosaurus shared its range with several less-archaic carnivores. This primitive predator really stands out in films and in museums, which helps explain the odd dino’s enduring popularity. [Link]
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