Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Oklahoma joins Nebraska in their border war against Colorado in a brave attempt to keep narcotics from entering their states [Hero]
[link] [172 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Because That Would Be Gay
VP of sales: I didn't want to squeeze his nuts too hard!Sales guy: Yeah, I know.Tampa Bay, Florida [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Black bear spotted visiting elementary school three times in one week. Apparently, common core isn't working in nature either [Florida]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bruce Jenner in a Karkrashian [Scary]
[link] [174 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brian Williams is taking a hiatus from NBC Nightly News to spend some time with Manti Te'o's girlfriend [News]
[link] [265 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Best Korea tests an ocean-to-ocean missile [Obvious]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ukraine's currency has lost half its value in 48 hours, it has almost no reserves, and it is fighting its biggest trading partner. It may just have to go live in its parents' basement [Sad]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dramatic weather rescue [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A super-destructive chaotic storm is brewing deep within Uranus [Strange]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » depressedskatergirl says FML
Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML [Link]
FMyLife » go fuck myself says FML
Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML [Link]
FMyLife » rossea says FML
Today, in honour of my best friend who recently died, I got a small snowflake tattoo on my wrist. I got fired from my high-paying job for breaking the 'no tattoo' rule. I didn't even know we had a rule for that. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another article listing the 100 best beers of the world. But this time subby really can't find a problem with it [Spiffy]
[link] [143 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Atlanta Farkers, you can rest easy now. Charges have been dropped against man cited for eating while driving [Hero]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police asked how many werewolves, witches, ghosts, UFOs, aliens and zombies have been reported. Answer: 295 [Scary]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Unlike your free Guinness bar towel, Guinness flavored potato chips have arrived [Cool]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The cutest picture of a firefighter rescuing a puppy you'll see all day [Cool]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What's in the measles vaccine anyway? Well, other than autism and microscopic mind-control and tracking devices put in there by the government, of course [Interesting]
[link] [144 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I've Gotten This-Close to Talking to Other People!
Marketer (to herself): You're not in my head today. What's wrong?Camden Street
Baltimore, MarylandOverheard by: Ren [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And No One Locked You Inside? Curious.
Worker #1: Hey boss, this safe is over 7 feet tall!Boss: Oh, geez! (calls worker #2 over) He's saying the safe is over 7 feet tall. Do you went to measure it? Why did you tell me it was less than 5 feet?Worker #2: Well, when I went to check it I could stand inside it and I'm 5'2″Nederland, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Just Called That Guy a “Ma'am”!
CSR on phone with customer: Yes, ma'am, I should be able to put you down to service your area tomorrow. Okay, thank you. (hangs up)CSR to office: Did I just say what I think I said?Nashville, Tennessee [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Would You Like to Hear a Rant About the Price Of Orange Juice?
Patron: Will the bank will be open on Friday?Teller: Yes sir, we are open. Why shouldn't we be?Patron: I heard it will be very cold Thursday and Friday.Teller: No sir, we don't close the bank due to cold weather. How can I help you?Manhattan, New YorkOverheard by: Eddie [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: California man claims he's being followed by "robot creatures" in the area of the San Jacinto Valley. FARK: He has the footage to prove it [Spiffy]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know who ELSE is battling a measles outbreak? [Sick]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Domo arigato mister fox [Silly]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the right side of the aircraft you'll see the lovely Bogota city lights serving as a backdrop for the flames shooting out of our number two engine. Sit back and enjoy the flight" [Scary]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Doesn't every Farker? [Obvious]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news, 40-somethings. Your marriage to that 23-year-old will be better if you move in together first [Interesting]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But It's Important to Our Relationship That I Share Inappropriate Facts About Her
Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know! Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado [Link]
Mental Floss » The Geometry of a Movie Scene
If you can't afford film school, Tony Zhou's online video series Every Frame a Painting is a good place to start for free. Zhou presents brief explanations of how films work (often how they work visually) and shows scenes to illustrate his points. In last week's episode, he explored the geometry of staging actors within a scene—the idea is that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » $300 million for a painting is Gauguintuan [Spiffy]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » B.O. Gone—Romance Comes!
Source: Radio Mirror magazine, April 1934.
See here and here for other examples posted on WU of the ad industry's campaign to scare everyone into buying products to get rid of unwanted body odor. [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: The Great Starbucks-Dunkin Divide
There's a serious divide in this nation: not between East and West, or even North and South, but between Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts. * It's every megalomaniac's dream to have a country named after themselves—and for these 19 people, it's one that has come true. * Who says dads can't style their daughters' hair? This very talented amateur cosmetologist of … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Design a new American quarter (LGT current examples) [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Amazing Magic Disc Electrocutes User In Seconds!
I don't care how well this gadget is designed and engineered: I am not plugging it into the wall socket then dropping it in my bath water!
Original ad here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Most shelter cats wait patiently, hoping to find a home. Then there is Fancy – who escaped from a shelter and traveled for over a month searching for the only person he wanted to be with, just in time for Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [619 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you only see one adult baby fetish nursery today, let this be the one [Weird]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What's the most desirable thing to steal from a big box store? In Tennessee, it's cheese. Lots of it [Strange]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Twenty eight inmates escaped a Brazilian prison after three women in sexy police costumes seduced and drugged the guards [Dumbass]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 12PM Lunch
African-American co-worker to Caucasian co-worker: You just walked a block through the ghetto to get some chicken? Did you get a five-piece and some biscuits? That’s so black of you. 1555 Central Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML [Link]
FMyLife » valarmorgoolies says FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New scientific breakthrough to finally ending the common cold is nothing to sneeze at [Spiffy]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do you want to bid on Saddam Hussein's hanging noose? No? Why knot? [Strange]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Former janitor and gas station attendant was a secret stock market multi-millionaire, leaves $8 million to local library, hospital [Spiffy]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » College student plans to spend 30 days eating cockroaches, worms, crickets and tarantulas to raise popularity of sustainable proteins, diminish his chances of ever getting laid again [Cool]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » barf says FML
Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chocolate rain is falling from the sky in Walla Walla, Washington [Strange]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » All for One
A flock of starlings masses near sunset over Gretna Green in Scotland, preparatory to roosting after a day’s foraging. The flock’s shape has a mesmerisingly fluid quality, flowing, stretching, rippling, and merging with itself. Similarly massive flocks form over Rome and over the marshlands of western Denmark, where more than a million migrating starlings form an enormous display known as … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anthem cyberattack may have been done by China, presumably so they know how best to screw over their citizens with health insurance [Followup]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Snake gets further with Jennifer Lawrence than any of you simians ever will (possibly not safe for work) [Spiffy]
[link] [164 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "They turned me into a neut" (PNSWF) [Scary]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Beg Your Pardon
Coworker: So, when a new client comes in we lock them up in the Olive Garden.Manager, after a moment: You mean ‘walled garden’?Washington, DCOverheard by: I am hungry [Link]
Overheard In The Office » … Or the Government Wouldn’t Put Mind-Control Chemicals in Our Water
Manager in motivational meeting: Just try brainwashing yourself sometime. There is nothing wrong with being brainwashed.Grand Rapids, MichiganOverheard by: the other admin [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We Just Don’t Have Enough Slavepower
Lady: Uhh, hi, do you sell cigarettes?
Cashier: No, this is a plant nursery.
Lady: Yeah, I know. So you don’t have them?
Cashier: No, ma’am, this is a plant nursery. We sell plants here.
Lady: But cigarettes come from tobacco, and that’s a plant. I figured if anyone would sell them it would be you. 6831 Central Avenue
St. Petersburg, Florida [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But Ranting Is My Chosen Artform!
Disgruntled woman: Did you get my e-mail?Boss: Yes, but you’re so consistently negative I didn’t bother to read it. Plus, your e-mails are always too long.Disgruntled woman: What?Boss: From now on, you’re limited to two paragraphs– No! Two sentences. And try to be positive for a change.Chantilly, Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Will It Require Me to Stop Playing Solitaire?
Account executive: We are going to need to traffic that ad out by Friday.Traffic manager: What does ‘traffic’ mean?Birmingham, Alabama [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …How's Your Squash Game These Days?…What??
Boss: That guy was a stud. And he liked it. He enjoyed it. And I was in pain for days! Louisiana Overheard by: That's not right [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Talking to You Is Better Than Smoking Weed!
Female coworker #1: If he is 5’6″ and I am 5’7″ then without heels we would be the same height.Female coworker #2: Are you 5’7″ with heels?Female coworker #1: No.Framingham, Massachusetts [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently there were vampires at the Battle of Gettysburg [Unlikely]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Heartbreaking Letters Addressed To Joe Camel As If He Were Real
Joe Camel, the debonair, pool-playing mascot for Camel cigarettes, was used by R.J. Reynolds for a solid decade to help push their brand of smokes. He drove fast cars, hung out with beautiful women, and was always dressed to the nines. He was also a cartoon, of course, and this got his corporate overlords in trouble in the '90s when … [Link]
FMyLife » alostr1 says FML
Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML [Link]
FMyLife » that guy says FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML [Link]
FMyLife » oldcar says FML
Today, while on a first date, the guy led me to his car. He then said it was a joke and he'd picked the ugliest car in the lot to see my reaction. It was actually my car. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this flock of colorful pigeons [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In unison, nearly every major religious leader in the Muslim world issues a statement condemning ISIS' recent acts. Even the guy who is considered "the spiritual mentor" of the founders of Al-Qaeda think these guys have "gone too far&
[link] [283 comments] [Link]
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