Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML [Link]
FMyLife » Idek says FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 17 Things You Can Watch Instead of the Super Bowl
Even though 111.5 million viewers tuned in to watch the Super Bowl last year, not everyone is interested in the super-hyped spectacle. [Link]
Mental Floss » 21 Super Facts About the Seattle Seahawks
Can these Emerald City champs win their second straight Super Bowl? We’ll get to watch them try on Sunday, but for now, let’s all take a closer look at this franchise’s colorful characters, frenzied fans, and high-flying history. 1. Seattle didn’t invent the “Seahawks” moniker. A (now defunct) Miami-based pro football team briefly used it during the 1940s. 2. Tragically, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sisi runs home after fight with Brothers. Telling mom and airstrikes to follow [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida conservative radio producer claims the child porn he shared with undercover police was definitely someone else's and so were the 500 images on his computer [Florida]
[link] [131 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two people are creating a pre-school. For adults [Strange]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's winter, so remember: Avoid hot showers [Strange]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Chemist-why says FML
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Disney Introduces First Hispanic Princess
In a bid to appeal to Latino and Hispanic families, Disney announced it will debut its first Hispanic princess, Elena, in the animated Disney Junior show Elena Of Avalor. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man reunited with stolen dog during search for new pet [Spiffy]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Gene Hackman Quotes for His 85th Birthday
Gene Hackman hasn’t made a movie in more than a decade, but the former actor—who turns 85 today (and definitely isn't dead, despite what you might have read on the internet)—is still keeping busy, writing novels from his home in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Here are some bon mots he’s said over the years, on everything from how he chose … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cops probably won't be sympathetic if you call 911 to complain about the security guards harassing you for shoplifting [Dumbass]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: 2015 Tech Trends
Showcasing everything from wearable devices to self-driving cars and personal drones, this year’s Consumer Electronics Show revealed the latest in new technology. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » What Now-Defunct Technology Did You Enthusiastically Embrace?
On Fridays, we ask a bunch of unrelated questions. Your answers help get us through the afternoon. Answer one, answer all, or ask your own question. On to this week's topics… [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to make your fiancée sign a prenup before you get married it has to be in a language that she can read [Obvious]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this abandoned mall [Photoshop]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Behind the Scenes with Penn
CBS recently went behind the scenes with the great Penn & Teller. * Eddie Murphy is returning to SNL for the first time in 30 years. * Listverse has a cool collection of historic photos that will mess with your perception of size. * Nitrous Oxide has a long history of scientific—and recreational—use. * I want to see that new … [Link]
Mental Floss » See This Adorable Baby Acquire Sign Language Through Rhythm And Rhyme
In cultures all over the world, children are exposed to language through repetition, songs, chants, nursery rhymes, and other forms of play. Deaf culture is no different. Leala Holcomb and Jonathan McMillian of Hands Land learned American Sign Language naturally as they grew up, with parents who constantly made up playful songs and rhymes as they went about their daily … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are you depressed because you binge watch, or do you binge watch because you're depressed? [Interesting]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Handy Facts About Deinocheirus
Five years ago, there wasn’t much one could say about Deinocheirus—but thanks to some amazing new discoveries, we can finally start connecting the dots and exposing the secrets of this enigmatic creature. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark Quiz #404: Correct answers not found [Survey]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a dachshund? [Interesting]
[link] [190 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Interview: Scott McCloud On 'The Sculptor' and Balancing Art and Life
Scott McCloud changed the way we think about comics with his groundbreaking 1993 comics theory book Understanding Comics. After two follow-up books exploring other aspects of the medium (Reinventing Comics and Making Comics), he has returned to the world of fiction with a nearly 500 page graphic novel called The Sculptor. The Sculptor is about a young artist named … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "We're doing something called the 'Fark 2.0 initiative', which is us trying to snag more kids over the next five years" [Amusing]
[link] [170 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Prosecutors drop domestic violence charges against George Zimmerman after the victim recants. Well I say we all owe Mr. Zimmerman a big apology for even thinking he was capable of such a violent act [Followup]
[link] [163 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Carefully Settles On Backup Channel For When Airing Of ‘Gladiator’ Goes To Commercial
CINCINNATI—Ensuring he would be exposed to minimal amounts of advertisements and downtime in his entertainment, local man Eric Sackett carefully settled on a backup channel to watch whenever AMC’s airing of the film Gladiator entered a … 
[Link]
The Onion » Katy Perry Drops Hints That Super Bowl Halftime Show Will Be Awful
PHOENIX—Stressing that she didn’t want to divulge too much information about the upcoming performance, pop star Katy Perry dropped several hints at a press conference Friday indicating that this weekend’s Super Bowl XLIX halftime show wi… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 21 Super Facts About the New England Patriots
If any NFL franchise deserves to be called a 21st-century dynasty, it’s the New England Patriots. This team just clinched its record-tying eighth Super Bowl berth: a feat matched by only two other clubs. Here’s some fun trivia worth memorizing before they take on the Seahawks. 1. Massachusetts began flirting with pro football long before their Pats came along. The … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Um, yeah, check out this lightning strike in the eye of a cyclone [Strange]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Taliban are outraged, OUTRAGED, that the White House won't acknowledge them as being a terror group, so they kill three Americans. Presidential spokesperson blames Bush, saying "Bush labeled them as terrorists, this administration did not
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Making immature decisions–like putting porn on iPads at the local Tesco–is no way to go through life, dad [Dumbass]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML [Link]
FMyLife » goodbyediet says FML
Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Health Department form for new parents requesting birth certificates asks if the "woman giving birth" is male or female [Strange]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man is told he can't change his name to Superhero – but Ninja is OK (pic) [Interesting]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML [Link]
Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review
Intruder Spends Five Hours Caught Upside-down in Window Two freshmen at Nottingham Trent University in England spied an unusual sight as they walked through the campus Friday morning. A man had tried to enter a building through a window when his legs were caught, leaving him upside-down with his rear end exposed. The students talked to him while taking photographs … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you just hate it when your pilot gets locked out of the cockpit halfway through your flight? [Fail]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 17 Crazy Hair Myths
This week’s special episode of the List Show is the second in a series we've created with Head & Shoulders about The World’s Smartest Hair. Stay tuned for more fascinating videos in the coming months. For more info on how to keep your hair and your scalp healthy and beautiful, and without any flakes, visit headandshoulders.com. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sorority woman: We're just living sex toys [Sad]
[link] [285 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here it is: The only tipping guide you'll ever need. And it's accurate; it has the mandatory 20% for waitstaff at restaurants [PSA]
[link] [161 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Georgia has plenty of jobs. That Americans refuse to do. "We have 100 people who quit every week" [Obvious]
[link] [202 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Usually a police stop does not warrant much, but it is a whole different story when there is a dead guy in the backseat [Scary]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the Largest U.S. Cities by Timezone: Pacific
Take the quiz! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Romney 3.0 is only vaporware [Repeat]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Americans Expected To Spend $703 Million On Pets For Valentine’s Day
According to the National Retail Federation, Americans are expected to spend a collective $703 million on gifts for their pets this Valentine’s Day such as treats, heart-shaped toys, and more. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » First White Castle in Las Vegas open to huge crowds. Kind of pointless saying 'This is why we can't have nice things' when it comes to Vegas [Obvious]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parking meters in Bloomington, Indiana don't work because they're clogged with crow shiat. Brandon Lee unavailable for comment [Interesting]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » South Africa frees de Kock [Interesting]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Minnesota introduces bill to keep police body camera videos private because, you know, it could be embarrassing [Obvious]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Pod City: ‘Reply All,’ ‘Fugitive Waves’ and More of the Week’s Best Podcasts
Each week I share the juiciest tidbits from a few recent podcasts I felt were well worth my time. Need more recommendations? Peruse the archive. YOUR VOICEMAIL CAN REVEAL A LOT ABOUT YOU. Fugitive Waves, Episode 14 As a tribute to actor Taylor Negron, who died Jan. 10, the podcast airs a beautiful montage of entertaining answering machine messages Negron … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Telemarketer finally does something useful [Hero]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » wtf says FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Facts About '101 Dalmatians'
This week, Disney's classic canine caper turns 54 years old. (That's 378 in dog years.) Grab a bag of Kanine Krunchies and celebrate more than a half-century of spots with these 12 '101 Dalmatians' facts. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's getting real in the south of England [Amusing]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hello mullah, hello fatwah, greetings from camp, intifada [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Pizza condoms create a dilemma for those who love pizza but hate wearing condoms [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » "Jihadists are wankers who are obsessed with porn" [Obvious]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Win a Shakespearean 'Star Wars' Triology of Books
The blizzard was sort of a bust (at least here in New York City) but your book suggestions were far from it. We put the entries to a vote here in the Mental_Floss office and ParanoidAndroid's suggestion of The Little Prince was the staff favorite! Contact website@mentalfloss.com to collect your notebook. We're sticking with a literary theme for the prize … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NPR has just realized it's possible to get arrested for resisting arrest and have no other charges filed against you [Followup]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Salon claims victory over trolls by redefining trolls as "people they've already banned" [Interesting]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thing happens. Details to follow [Weird]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ken Starr, the man who spent $30 million investigating Clinton's sex life, has a new job helping pedophile billionaires escape justice [Sick]
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And They Keep Slipping Out Of the Child Seats
Cube dweller #1: You've worked with giraffes?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, transporting them is a real pain. They go in an open trailer, and every time you get to an overpass, you have to either let air out of all the tires to fit under it, or you have to stop, back them out of the trailer, walk them around the overpass, … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » No, the French Are What’s Wrong with France
Employee #1: It’s them damn environmentalists that make the gas prices so high.Employee #2: Yeah, those morons won’t let us drill for oil anywhere. They’re what’s wrong with this country.Employee #1: Yeah, them and the French.North 6th Street
Gainesville, FloridaOverheard by: Environmentalist [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Can’t Let People Get Away with Basing Their Lives on ’80s Movies
Security guard: I walked in on him making love to a mannequin, so I kicked the shit out of him.Hazeldean Mall
Kanata, Ontario, Canada [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Omniscience Is Prohibitively Expensive
Admin: You're telling me of your ignorance right now!Secretary: I'm sure you're probably right about that.Santa Rosa, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Just Grit Your Teeth and Deal
Manager: Remember, the customer is always right.
Assistant manager: Right, except when they’re wrong.
Manager: No, they’re always right.
Assistant manager: Totally, except on the odd occasion when they’re wrong.
Manager: …you are so retarded… 557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …I Believe Her Technical Title Is “Token.”
black customer service rep: hey, is shaquann* from abc co. A man or a woman? white sales manager: she's a woman. cs rep: what is she? manager: black. cs rep: I mean is she an owner, a manager, what does she do? manager: oh wow… Holy shit, I'm such a dumbass… Just… I'm so sorry.Fort Mill, SC [Link]
The Onion » All Of Man’s Accomplishments Overshadowed By Hefty Birth Weight
RICHBORO, PA—Saying that no other fact about him elicits more interest and attention from others, local man Travis Whitaker explained to reporters Friday how all of his numerous accomplishments are routinely overshadowed by his hefty birth weight of… 
[Link]
The Onion » Magazine: Emma Watson Said She Could Gut A Fish In Under 5 Seconds And Was Not Lying
Emma Watson Said She Could Gut A Fish In Under 5 Seconds And Was Not Lying 
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work
Manager: So, you’re back! How was your vacation?
Contractor: Well, I think I got a lot done.
Peon: That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard. 909 A Street
Tacoma, Washington Overheard by: Barnstable [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jordan to ISIS: "Kill our pilot, we'll hang all your guys that we have in our prisons" [Followup]
[link] [162 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Indian police baffled by "skeleton sacks." To be fair, most people don't understand fashion models [Weird]
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Mental Floss » Where Did the @ Symbol Come From?
Why does it look like a snail? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Drinking wine while dangling 9,000 feet above the French Alps in a ski gondola that's been converted into micro-chalet sounds like a great idea. Until you realize your living quarters has no toilets [Stupid]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Peewee Herman Story, in a Nutshell
Female coworker, in singsong voice: Somebody was a yanker!Boulder, Colorado [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what's really happening here [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bandits steal several gold nuggets during armed heist of Wells Fargo. This is not a repeat from 1852 [Weird]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Nazis train giant ape to destroy wonder woman
Classic TV from the 70s.
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Dr. Strangelove Left Out That Part
Receptionist #1: Well, it’s not like you need the money.Receptionist #2: I could use it, though…Receptionist #1: But it’s, like, life-threatening surgery.Receptionist #2: It’s life-threatening? [Receptionist #1 answers phone.] It’s life-threatening?!Park Avenue
New York, New YorkOverheard by: cubiclelove [Link]
Weird Universe » The Fun That Builds Good Health
From an incredibly weird pre-internet, pre-cellphone, pre-cable-TV world! Limbs in actual motion–outdoors! Witness the horror of "free-range children!" [Link]
FMyLife » Eyalsh says FML
Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML [Link]
FMyLife » ThatWasntFun says FML
Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dartmouth abolishes rum & the lash [Stupid]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One of the last four Doolittle Raiders flies off into the rising sun [Hero]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Rare Fox Spotted in Yosemite National Park
Smaller and with slightly darker fur than others in its genus, the Sierra Nevada red fox is one of the most endangered mammals in North America. It's estimated that there are less than 50 left in the wild—which is why it's awesome that one was recently caught on camera strolling through Yosemite National Park. A motion sensitive camera snapped pictures … [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: National Ka"zoo" Day
[Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Disney and Indiana Jones
Indiana Jones and the Danger of the Doomed Reboot. Trying to measure up to the original is a fool’s quest.
*
Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Bingo. Print your card and get ready to win.
*
10 Scientifically Sound Weather Superstitions. They might be useful, but so is looking out a window.
*
The new book A History Of Sluts chronicles … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wile E. Coyote (Super Genius) inspires new way to diagnose concussions [Spiffy]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police bust a man for hiding cocaine inside his prosthetic limb. Legal observers say he doesn't have a leg to stand on [Interesting]
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FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Poll shows that people in Pennsylvania favor things that see no good, hear no good, and do no good [Fail]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Since the F-35 has been such a resounding success, the DOD has now begun accepting ideas for its successor [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Baby goat beheaded; another goat taken. Wait, I can rent a goat? [Obvious]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New York pizza snobbery is annoying and Chicago hot dog snobbery is just dumb, but when it comes to chili, everything is snobbier in Texas [Obvious]
[link] [216 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ♫ The wheels on the bus go round and round, round an…*THUD*…The wheels on the bus go bye bye bye ♫ [Scary]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Does the government really need to fund free pregnancy tests inside the women's bathroom at bars? [Strange]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » EnderHorse says FML
Today, I looked out my window to see my neighbor politely shovelling people's driveways. He skipped ours. Why? He likes our daughter but she doesn't like him back. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Four middle school students facing charges for throwing a "sex party" for their friends [Scary]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Since so much attention is always given to people who go down Niagra Falls, let's give a little love for a man who just went up Niagra Falls [Cool]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Beautiful Video Features Real-Time Feed of British Library Book Activity
As a testament to the amazing breadth and depth of their stacks, the British Library produced Issues to Readers, this 10-minute film featuring the real-time feed of activity as patrons borrow, return, and request books. Each entry is evocative and intriguing—like "Darwin's coat-tails," or "History of beauty"—but essentially nonsensical without context. However for bibliophiles, the overall effect is truly soothing … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New poll finds that most people aren't scientists [Stupid]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It turns out all this time Shaggy was taking God's name in vain everytime he uttered, "Gadzooks" or "Zounds" [Strange]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Round and Round
Army ants are blind; they follow the pheromone tracks left by other ants. This leaves them vulnerable to forming an “ant mill,” in which a group of ants inadvertently form a continuously rotating circle, each ant following the ones ahead and leading the ones behind. Once this happens there’s no way to break the cycle; the ants will march until … [Link]
Mental Floss » Attention College Scribes Who'd Like to Write for Us
College Weekend is coming! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oregon State coed cited for filming Beaver video in school library, officials claim "It's not clear who got it up there" [Amusing]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You've failed your written driver's test 15 times. Do you A) give up, B) find yourself a tutor, or C) ask a friend to take it for you, who also fails it and is then arrested for impersonating you [Dumbass]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Canadian man misses winning $27 million on Canadian lottery by seven seconds. Lottery: "Sorry aboot that" [Sad]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Suge Knight might be coming back to Death Row [News]
[link] [173 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Workman saves pal from electrocution by hitting him with a plank of wood. Way to go, stud [Hero]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hi, remember when you where a student and made a few anonymous donations at the local sperm bank to get money for booze? Yeah, about that…dad [Scary]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Treasure hunter hunted to Florida [Florida]
[link] [7 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » From Fashion Designers
Woman: I wish I had an overactive thyroid.Man: Yeah, you’d get a lot of attention that way.Elevator, 550 7th Avenue
New York, New YorkOverheard by: Heather [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 3PM Smoke Break
Producer: So you’re from Iowa?
Consultant: No, Ohio.
Producer: Illinois? 333 North Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Otherwise I’d Be Saying This Stuff to Her Face
Rep #1: She wears disgusting eye makeup…like a tarantula.Rep #2: Gross!Rep #1: I know. She looks like a tramp. I mean, she can’t keep her legs closed.Rep #2: Nasty!Rep #1: She thinks she is so hot. Yeah, right.Rep #2: Wait, isn’t she like, your best friend?Rep #1: Of course!Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Repeat Business Is for Losers
Salesman #1: So did Fred ever call you back?Salesman #2: No, but I sent anthrax to his office.Louisville, Kentucky [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Meet Philadelphia's Kindest CSR
Coworker: My name is Virginia. (silence) No, Virginia. (silence, then sighs) Not Victoria but Virginia. You know, like the State? (silence) Or not. It's Virginia, ma'am, like the ham? (silence) Yes, it's good ham. How can I help you?Philadelphia, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: WD40 [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Really Don't Think He's the One Who Smashed Up My BMW
Exasperated boss, on phone with son: Oh, let's just leave Jesus out of this, okay?Huntington, New YorkOverheard by: Lady Lawyer [Link]
Overheard In The Office » This Company Doesn't Have Time or Money to Waste on Prudish Behavior
Employee: Only book it if you're going to put out.Canoga Park, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Australia's two largest cities in the top ten "safest in the world." The rest of the country will try to kill you, though [Interesting]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML [Link]
FMyLife » anon says FML
Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well. Who wouldn't want to get drunk off of Oreos? [Interesting]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » So That Was Friday Night
Sales lady to guy holding door open for her: I was going to, but then I felt something dribble on me and asked “why am I wet?”Sydney
Australia [Link]
Mental Floss » The Best Super Bowl Ads Ever, According to USA Today's "Ad Meter"
Not too long ago, if you wanted to relive your favorite Super Bowl commercials and see if they were well-received, you had to wait until Monday morning and read the newspaper. There you could find the Super Bowl ad round-up, a brief article, usually in the business section, that featured clunky descriptions of the short spots you barely remembered from … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman tries to feed bears, succeeds [Dumbass]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad: allowing unvaccinated children into public schools. Asinine: allowing unvaccinated patients into children's cancer wards [Asinine]
[link] [180 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A man who shocked clubbers when he pulled down his trousers and defecated on a dancefloor has blamed 'a vindaloo curry and too many pints' for his behaviour" [CSB]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » UC Davis hospital is treating a patient who may have Ebola. EVERYBODY PANIC, AGAIN [Scary]
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Overheard In The Office » At Least I Know What Menthol Does to My Lady Parts
Coworker #1: You know, my daughter was telling me that grapefruits can cause cancer.Coworker #2: Really? Are you sure? I never heard of that.Coworker #1: Yeah, I'm serious. That's why I stopped eating them… I'll be back, I'm going to go have a cigarette.Manhattan, New York [Link]
FMyLife » John Doe says FML
Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Cut on the dotted line [Photoshop]
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Fark.com RSS » A Welsh Nazi. Because when you think of socio-ethnic superiority, you think of the Welsh [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » FAA releases report of dumb sh*t people did with drones last year [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Next in the Department Of This Can't Go Wrong: Texas lawmakers bill would allow teachers to gun down students [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » Terrorist lockdown at primary school canceled after police arrest garden gnome [Weird]
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Overheard In The Office » Office Code for “She's Under My Desk”
Dude: Do you know where your wife is?Sarge: How the fuck are you gonna walk in here on a Thursday morning, come in my fucking office, see that I'm in the middle of writing a fucking important letter, and ask me where the fuck someone else in this fucking building is. I'm sorry, where the fuck do you see a babysitter … [Link]
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