John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Respected Egyptian TV analyst claims that TV commercials are created by Freemasons sending subliminal messages about their zionist masters secret plot to control the world. In other news, someone made Alex Jones seem sane [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 January 23:54:54 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While its not unusual for some time to pass before the body of an elderly person living alone is discovered, it is a mite odd that it took a YEAR to discover a 94-year old woman's body, since her daughter lived right above her in a duplex [Strang

Wednesday 7 January 23:53:44 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We All Have Lingering Questions About Sarah Palin

Wednesday 7 January 23:42:10 UTC 2015

Coworker on phone: It doesn't still smell like squirrel, does it?Portland, Oregon [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hypothermic and emaciated sea turtle rescued on Washington coast is improving … slowly [Obvious]

Wednesday 7 January 23:35:56 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Inside America's Oldest Known Time Capsule

Wednesday 7 January 23:30:00 UTC 2015

Yesterday, after five hours of meticulous work with a small, dental tool-like metal pick and a porcupine quill, Museum of Fine Arts, Boston conservator Pam Hatchfield opened the oldest known time capsule in the country. It was originally buried on July 4, 1795 by Revolutionary War heroes Paul Revere and Samuel Adams, who was then the governor of Massachusetts. On … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you thought your last boyfriend was a jerk, at least he didn't pimp you out on Craigslist to pregnancy fetishists [Florida]

Wednesday 7 January 23:28:48 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First we checked out the best diners in every state, now let's do each state's most iconic restaurant [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 January 23:19:45 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a change of tactics police lend police brutality protesters a bullhorn [Cool]

Wednesday 7 January 22:58:31 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cook County sheriff's deputy who attacked a prisoner will get one year to try it again [Dumbass]

Wednesday 7 January 22:42:29 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl has locks of luck after waitress friend saves her by grabbing her hair on her death plunge from bridge [Hero]

Wednesday 7 January 22:11:05 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Texas’s Last Last Meal: Why Death Row Inmates in Texas Don’t Get to Pick Their Last Meals

Wednesday 7 January 21:49:29 UTC 2015

On June 7, 1998, a forty-nine-year-old African-American man from Texas, named James Byrd Jr., was brutally murdered by three men. While Byrd was still alive, the perpetrators tied his ankles to the back of a pickup truck and dragged him for three miles; Byrd was decapitated in the process. Byrd’s murder resulted in legislation, both on the state and federal … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: 8-Bit Philosophy

Wednesday 7 January 21:30:00 UTC 2015

Check out these existential philosophy explanations in 8-bit video game format. * Check out the trailer for the upcoming Ant-Man movie. * Here are some of the crazy, cool gadgets from CES. * Go on an illustrated world tour of hot sauce. * The first Presidential election was held on this date in 1789. * And just to throw something … [Link]

The Onion » It Sadly Unclear Whether This Article Will Put Lives At Risk

Wednesday 7 January 21:24:00 UTC 2015

PARIS—Following the fatal terrorist attack Wednesday at the offices of French newspaper Charlie Hebdo, sources confirmed this afternoon that it is sadly not yet clear whether this very article will ultimately put human lives at risk. 
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "There are no grown-ups, everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently" and other things you learn in your 40s [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 January 21:18:02 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [222 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these old time racers [Photoshop]

Wednesday 7 January 21:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week

Wednesday 7 January 21:00:00 UTC 2015

Some of the most interesting comics that have come out in the past couple of weeks [Link]

Mental Floss » Edison's Phonograph: Hi-Fi from 1905

Wednesday 7 January 20:55:00 UTC 2015

In this short clip from The Curiosity Show, we learn about the Edison Phonograph, which played wax cylinders. The sound quality wasn't great, the cylinders wore out easily, but it was a pretty awesome way to get sound recordings in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Enjoy: I particularly enjoyed the notion of "modern" LPs and 45s. Layers upon layers … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a tip for all you bartenders out there: Legal tender is not usually made of two single-sided photocopies of bills stapled together. No, not even in England [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 January 20:22:50 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This could be the most English headline ever: "Biscuit thieves arrested while scoffing stolen shortbread in lawn bowling club" [Strange]

Wednesday 7 January 20:21:53 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Girls" actress reveals the secret ingredient in her delicious smoothie recipe: polenta. Wait–not polenta. Placenta [Sick]

Wednesday 7 January 20:14:16 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can't sleep, clown bikers will eat me [Florida]

Wednesday 7 January 20:14:08 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Look, when Jesus Christ tells you that he wants to do an open-mic stand-up routine with a Bible and a sex toy, you let him [Scary]

Wednesday 7 January 20:02:31 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Must-See Episodes of 'This is Your Life'

Wednesday 7 January 20:00:00 UTC 2015

The TV show was controversial. Critics claimed that it exploited its subjects. They said it played into hopelessly hackneyed stereotypes. They said it had no redeeming cultural value. These critics weren't talking about the latest Andy Cohen production or some Real Housewives meets Honey Boo Boo crossover. Instead, they were talking about This is Your Life, first a radio show … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bodybuilders get into a forum flame war over how many days they think there are in a week [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 January 19:45:54 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » “A Bit of Spanish”

Wednesday 7 January 19:39:49 UTC 2015

This pleasing cryptarithm, by Bob High, appears in the September/October 2014 issue of MIT Technology Review. If each letter stands for a digit, what arithmetic sum is enciphered here? Click for solution … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gunman in clown mask robs Subway store, escapes. Police unsure of how many accomplices were in the getaway vehicle [Scary]

Wednesday 7 January 19:08:16 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Inconvenient: Plane with 13 people on it has engine violently fail in midair. Convenient: 12 of the people already have parachutes on because it's a skydiving excursion [Scary]

Wednesday 7 January 19:06:35 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That transgendered teen who recently committed suicide? Turns out there's a simple and logical explanation: Demonic possession [Unlikely]

Wednesday 7 January 18:57:30 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [211 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man described as a "serial sausage thief" appears in court after being linked to dozens of thefts [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 January 18:49:51 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's cold out. So here's a picture of a cat in the snow [Unlikely]

Wednesday 7 January 18:37:04 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Hubble Snaps Another Gorgeous Pic of "Pillars of Creation"

Wednesday 7 January 18:28:13 UTC 2015

NASA, ESA, and the Hubble Heritage Team (STScI/AURA); click to enlarge. In 1995, the Hubble Telescope snapped a photo of a portion of the Eagle Nebula (M16) called "Pillars of Creation," three columns of cold gas illuminated by ultraviolet light emanating from young stars. According to Phil Plait at Slate's Bad Astronomy blog, "It was the first highly detailed look … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Just Fiddling Around

Wednesday 7 January 18:28:06 UTC 2015

[Link]

FMyLife » ijustwantpizza says FML

Wednesday 7 January 18:17:15 UTC 2015

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, the truth: Hoppy beer is awful, it's making people hate beer, and "craft brewers" need to stop making it now [Obvious]

Wednesday 7 January 18:06:00 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [438 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Secret to a Longer Life May Be Found in Whale DNA

Wednesday 7 January 18:00:00 UTC 2015

Scientists revealed in Cell Reports scientific journal Monday that they have succeeded in sequencing the genome of the bowhead whale, a marine mammal known for its incredible longevity, Scientific American reports. With a lifespan of over 200 years, the bowhead whale is the longest-living mammal on Earth. By comparing its genes—specifically those for DNA repair, cell cycle, cancer, and the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not everyone gets to see their name on a check for $975 million. Even fewer people reject it [Asinine]

Wednesday 7 January 17:55:38 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Largest U.S. Cities by Timezone: Eastern

Wednesday 7 January 16:38:13 UTC 2015

How many can you name in 8 minutes? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Either this is the luckiest woman alive or Final Destination 7 has begun shooting in Brazil [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 January 16:34:44 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man says a gang told him to bring a gun and drugs to a police station to test police security, and the results weren't as bad as you might expect. Nice mugshot included in the article as well [Strange]

Wednesday 7 January 16:32:05 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Casino Scams That Actually Worked

Wednesday 7 January 16:30:00 UTC 2015

The average person you'll find in a casino is playing honestly. But some ambitious gamblers come up with schemes to beat the house for millions. Although most cheaters get caught, there are others who manage to hustle casinos successfully … until they eventually get caught too. Here are eight casino scams that actually worked. 1. Special Contact Lenses Four con … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have an order of eggs and home fries while you check out the best diners in every state. Bonus: Kentucky's is Drew's Saturday morning hangout [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 January 16:28:21 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Year's bonfire party are always fun. Until somebody breaks out a machete [Scary]

Wednesday 7 January 16:16:58 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 2015: The Last Binary Palindrome Year We’ll Have Until 2047

Wednesday 7 January 16:15:00 UTC 2015

2015 is the last binary palindrome year we’ll have until 2047, so enjoy it! Last year was so 11111011110. That’s 2014 in binary, and it looks, well, a little unbalanced. This year though? Behold the beauty of 2015: 11111011111 How symmetrical! How elegant! It reads the same way forwards and backwards! It’s a palindrome! If you need a refresher on … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Website holds competition for snarky, funny descriptions of Alabama, releases only 15 because Mississippi [Obvious]

Wednesday 7 January 16:05:41 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Only in Florida can you live at "Eat A$$" and have a legal drivers license [Florida]

Wednesday 7 January 15:58:21 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out higher CO2 is creating the largest crop yields ever seen [Obvious]

Wednesday 7 January 15:39:17 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [220 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You're Fired.

Wednesday 7 January 15:01:18 UTC 2015

Legal assistant #1: My new butter dish is made from crystal.Legal assistant #2: Crystal, like? from under the sea?Toronto
Canadia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Or Until You Die of a Staph Infection, Whichever Happens First

Wednesday 7 January 15:01:16 UTC 2015

Disheveled cashier to customer buying towels: So I said to my daughter, “No, you can't have another towel. When you come out of the shower you are clean, so you can just keep using that same towel until next month.”Wal-Mart
Rockford, IllinoisOverheard by: Lindsey B [Link]

Overheard In The Office » No Wonder the Postal Service Is Going Broke

Wednesday 7 January 15:01:15 UTC 2015

Designer: Any cat lady with a sticker-printing machine… can make stamps.Manhattan, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But the Pool Doesn’t Receive Any Mail

Wednesday 7 January 15:01:14 UTC 2015

Pool Owner: Yes, I would like you to close my pool for the winter.Clerk: Okay, great. Where is the pool located.Pool Owner: In our backyard.Clerk: Yes Ma’am I appreciate that since we have never found a permit approved for a front yard pool. Now what is the address of your pool?Pool Owner: Was that a stupid answer?Henninger Court
Chantilly, VirginiaOverheard by: SKippyMom … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Once I Take These Pumps Off

Wednesday 7 January 15:01:10 UTC 2015

Receptionist on phone: I'll be shorter than a midget on his knees!Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Now I'm Requesting Sick Leave

Wednesday 7 January 15:01:09 UTC 2015

Coworker: Just to let you know, I need to leave at noon today because I have a leak.Office manager: That sounds like a personal problem.Navy Yard
Washington, DC [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are Manhole Covers Round?

Wednesday 7 January 15:00:00 UTC 2015

If you’re in the habit of looking down at your feet as you walk, you may have noticed that most manholes, and their covers, are round. Or perhaps you’ve been in a job interview where your prospective employer asked this question (which apparently happens enough that it was included in the third edition of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Job … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "40-year-old Ben Siegel put a bearded dragon into his mouth and began to strike employees with it…Siegel then reportedly threw the lizard into the air and swung it around several times, said a Broward Sheriff's Office arrest report" [Fl

Wednesday 7 January 14:50:24 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [43 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » JefferyLillie says FML

Wednesday 7 January 14:42:30 UTC 2015

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML [Link]

FMyLife » MonsterProblems says FML

Wednesday 7 January 14:42:29 UTC 2015

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML [Link]

FMyLife » random875 says FML

Wednesday 7 January 14:42:28 UTC 2015

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Except That My First Is to Learn to Write

Wednesday 7 January 14:36:17 UTC 2015

Lowly assistant: We are supposed to have our monthly, quarterly, and annual goals prepared for Tuesday’s meeting.Lawyer: Really? Tell the office manager to send me everyone else’s goals.Office manager: I probably won’t have them before the meeting.Lawyer: But I don’t know what my goals are.1500 Market Street
Philadelphia, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: It’s Comcastic [Link]

The Onion » Stressed-Out 8-Year-Old Looks 12

Wednesday 7 January 14:25:00 UTC 2015

Stressed-Out 8-Year-Old Looks 12
[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Report: More Cities Banning Sledding To Avoid Lawsuits

Wednesday 7 January 14:25:00 UTC 2015

According to a report from the Associated Press, more cities around the nation are banning sledding on public land to avoid being sued for millions of dollars in the event of an injury.
[Link]

The Onion » Area Man Only One With Problems

Wednesday 7 January 14:20:00 UTC 2015

BOSTON—Expressing the sadness they feel for the beleaguered man and his incomprehensible plight, friends, family, and acquaintances of area man Doug Belson confirmed Wednesday that he is the only person in the world who has problems. Reports indicat…
[Link]

The Onion » Woman Fulfills Manifest Destiny Of Hardwood Floor Throughout Home

Wednesday 7 January 14:15:00 UTC 2015

EDINA, MN—Moved by a grand and profound force to expand her maple-finish domain beyond its limited borders in the kitchen, area woman Linda Ellison finally achieved her own manifest destiny of hardwood floors throughout her home this week, sources c…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Aaaaannnnd it's time for another Fark pro-tip: Don't put 6.5 inch eels in your mouth, otherwise they do not-so-fun shiat [PSA]

Wednesday 7 January 14:06:24 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [49 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Everyone At Consumer Electronics Show Forced To Share Single Surge Protector

Wednesday 7 January 14:05:00 UTC 2015

Everyone At Consumer Electronics Show Forced To Share Single Surge Protector
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Introducing the Stop the Birth Rate Decline Bra. Stay weird, Japan [Weird]

Wednesday 7 January 14:00:56 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fine British beef dinner [Photoshop]

Wednesday 7 January 14:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Humble Ascetic Declines In-Flight Beverage Service

Wednesday 7 January 14:00:00 UTC 2015

NEW YORK—Choosing to fast in an apparent attempt to reach an elevated plane of existence, humble ascetic Jonathan Weaver declined the complimentary snack and beverage service during his flight from New York to Atlanta, sources confirmed Wednesday.
[Link]

Overheard In The Office » “On?”

Wednesday 7 January 13:33:03 UTC 2015

Saleswoman to IT guy: John, I need your help. My computer isn't working at all. I tried everything.John: Okay, I'll be right over.(goes over, takes a look)John: Did you think to try to turn it on?Marlborough, MassachusettsOverheard by: Dawn Elizabeth [Link]

Weird Universe » Lloyd Canning Update

Wednesday 7 January 13:20:32 UTC 2015

A week ago I posted about Lloyd Canning, an artist who claimed that he had been abducted by extraterrestrials who were now beaming images into his brain, and that this served as the inspiration for his art. He's now done an about face and says that he was just joking about the whole alien-abduction thing. It was a stunt to … [Link]

Weird Universe » Moodus Mystery

Wednesday 7 January 13:08:10 UTC 2015

More history here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » France raises terror alert level to "zut alors" after masked gunmen kill 12, wound seven more at offices of French newspaper famous for publishing the "bombhead Mohammed" cartoon [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 7 January 13:06:55 UTC 2015

NewsFlash [link] [1466 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently CBS newsman Steve Kroft found a satisfying way to fill 60 minutes [Dumbass]

Wednesday 7 January 13:02:25 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Is This Problem Self-Inflicted? Discuss.

Wednesday 7 January 12:28:57 UTC 2015

Office mate on speakerphone: I need to send my printer back. It isn’t working.CSR for printer company: Okay, I can set up a return shipment and get you a label and address to send yours back. What is your e-mail address, sir? [He relates e-mail address.] Okay, when you get the link on the e-mail I just sent you, print the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Federal weather employee charged with selling Obama weather machine secrets to Chinese [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 January 12:09:37 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CDC reports more middle-age, white men die from binge drinking than college students. Yeah, right, like Ebola only spreads by direct contact to infected bodily fluids too [PSA]

Wednesday 7 January 11:38:00 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stop the presses: McDonald's has run out of french fries in Venezuela [Misc]

Wednesday 7 January 11:32:33 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch a Forest Glow With Digital Video Mapping

Wednesday 7 January 11:30:00 UTC 2015

Bioluminescence is a pretty cool natural phenomenon, but wouldn't it be even better if the whole forest glowed? Artists Friedrich van Schoor and Tarek Mawad set out to accomplish just that with this stunning video. Using projection mapping, they overlayed beautiful glowing light over the fauna of the forest. The woods and animals transformed into a complex canvas for a … [Link]

Mental Floss » Just Fiddling Around

Wednesday 7 January 11:24:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

FMyLife » LadyNexus says FML

Wednesday 7 January 11:14:50 UTC 2015

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 7 January 11:14:49 UTC 2015

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » File this under Good To Know as temperatures across North America hit arctic lows today: If you have frost or ice on your windshield, don't throw hot water on it unless you don't want a windshield anymore. We're looking at you, Georgia. A

Wednesday 7 January 10:58:00 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Lord of the Rings Trivia

Wednesday 7 January 10:30:56 UTC 2015

5 Things You Didn't Know About The Lord Of The Rings. If you’re a fan of the movies, you should learn more about Tolkien’s books.
*
10 Places on Earth That Look Completely Alien. And that’s why they film science fiction movies there.
*
Is the Death of the Movie Theater Inevitable? Yes, unless the experience of attending can be … [Link]

Mental Floss » We Should All Be as Excited for the Snow as These Pandas in DC

Wednesday 7 January 8:30:00 UTC 2015

We know it's cold this week, and while commiserating about the chilly temperatures is a perfectly reasonable way to deal with unpleasant weather, we should all aspire to be more like Bao Bao, the 16-month-old panda at Smithsonian's National Zoo in Washington, DC, who delighted in the year's first snowfall yesterday. Check out Bao Bao and her mom Mei Xiang … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Monster sues Beats. Evidently they had a patent on the idea of mixing $5 worth of technology with $150 worth of marketing and selling the item for $329.99 [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 January 8:23:00 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [159 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » dragonfyre73 says FML

Wednesday 7 January 7:43:25 UTC 2015

Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 7 January 7:43:24 UTC 2015

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML [Link]

FMyLife » immaloser95 says FML

Wednesday 7 January 7:36:03 UTC 2015

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML [Link]

FMyLife » trixanne says FML

Wednesday 7 January 7:27:01 UTC 2015

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » LG launches a fridge WITHIN a fridge, so you can keep you food cool, while you are keeping your food cool. Dawg [Obvious]

Wednesday 7 January 7:25:00 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » You Are Here

Wednesday 7 January 6:06:54 UTC 2015

Metaphors for life: “A theater in which the worst people often have the best seats.” — Aristonymus “A hospital in which every patient is possessed by the desire to change his bed.” — Charles Baudelaire “A maze in which we take the wrong turning before we have learned to walk.” — Cyril Connolly “A garish, unrestful hotel.” — Joseph Conrad … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » General Carton de Wiart served in the Boer War, WW1 and WW2, was shot in the face, lost an eye, was shot through the skull, hip, leg, ankle and ear. He was severely wounded on eight occasions and mentioned in despatches six times. Ouch [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 January 4:42:06 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Turkish Debacle at Sarikamish

Wednesday 7 January 4:30:00 UTC 2015

Agos The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 162nd installment in the series. January 6, 1915: Turkish Debacle at Sarikamish When the Ottoman Empire joined the Central Powers in November 1914, it was a marriage of … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cute alert: Bao Bao the National Zoo's giant panda cub is enjoying her first snowfall rolling around [Sappy]

Wednesday 7 January 3:47:55 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man survives after suicide attempts with a spatula, a knife, and a gun. Wait, a spatula? [Strange]

Wednesday 7 January 3:28:07 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Children of all ages* can enjoy the Disney Cruise [*children aged 4 months not accepted on the Disney Cruise. You will be turned away if you bring an infant. Sorry that's not displayed anywhere and not really a rule] [Florida]

Wednesday 7 January 3:23:51 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twitter saves a man stranded on the toilet on a Virgin Train who ran out of toilet tissue [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 January 2:54:39 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forty-one years have passed since I wrote my note but I should have known this right from the start [Spiffy]

Wednesday 7 January 2:41:09 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet the Flashing, Toxic Disco Clam

Wednesday 7 January 2:30:00 UTC 2015

Wikimedia Commons You can tell just by looking at Ctenoides ales that this is not the kind of bivalve you'd find in your clam chowder. This reddish-orange mollusk, which makes its home in clusters in the caves and crevices of Indo-Pacific coral reefs, creates flashing light shows so bright that they can be seen without artificial light—hence its common name, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dry January a scheme that challenges drinkers to abstain from alcohol for the first month of the year is growing in popularity, as people make good on their hungover promises. Right, good luck with that [Unlikely]

Wednesday 7 January 2:28:40 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Unless We Massage the Situation in Just the Right Way

Wednesday 7 January 1:31:00 UTC 2015

Coworker: So it'll be a big circle-jerk, a big emergency.Ventura, California [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Sing Polly Wolly Doodle All the Day

Wednesday 7 January 1:30:59 UTC 2015

Boss: I need to leave work before I get too drunk!1819 Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I'll Input Your Order Once You Stop Gagging, Sir

Wednesday 7 January 1:30:58 UTC 2015

Female sales rep on phone with customer: Ummmm, now she walks like she has a load in her pants…Keene, New Hampshire [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Someone Get This Girl a Vibrator and a Mirror

Wednesday 7 January 1:30:57 UTC 2015

Female secretary, after reading spam: But I don't get erections!Stamford, ConnecticutOverheard by: The Betty Stone [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You Can't Teach Talent

Wednesday 7 January 1:30:56 UTC 2015

Program manager on phone: Have you thought of marrying this chick? (pause) Does she give good head? (pause) Okay, is she willing to learn?North Carolina [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 10AM Communications Workshop

Wednesday 7 January 1:30:55 UTC 2015

Manager: …because sometimes we get communications via electronic sending, sometimes through the telephone system. 650 South 6th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota Overheard by: Jeff Anderson [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch

Wednesday 7 January 1:30:54 UTC 2015

CSR: You know sometimes when you blow, you can feel it in your throat?
Secretary: No, I don’t blow that hard.
CSR: Well, I blow hard and I can feel it sometimes. It sucks. 541 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY Overheard by: Eve S Dropper [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Italian bridge collapses ten decades after construction. Excuse me, did I say "decades"? I meant "days" [Fail]

Wednesday 7 January 1:05:49 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [99 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Discouraged says FML

Wednesday 7 January 1:05:19 UTC 2015

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 7 January 1:05:18 UTC 2015

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like… you." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 7 January 1:05:17 UTC 2015

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this ogre's bounce house [Photoshop]

Wednesday 7 January 1:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You guys want to see Bill Gates drink poo water? [Weird]

Wednesday 7 January 0:48:05 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So there you were, thinking that the Mexican drug cartels were completely heartless [Scary]

Wednesday 7 January 0:41:50 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Blessing Houses in 1935 For The Twelfth Night Of Christmas

Wednesday 7 January 0:30:00 UTC 2015

Trying to squeeze one more night out of the holidays? You're in luck. January 6th is Twelfth Night, a festival celebrated by some Christian sects. It recognizes the Epiphany (or, when the Three Wise Men first visited the baby Jesus), and traditions primarily involve feasts (hope you like King Cake). German and Austrian customs for Twelfth Night include the driving … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That South Carolina man who savagely beat his uncle after he found the man sexually assaulting his girlfriend? He won't be charged with a crime [Followup]

Wednesday 7 January 0:27:01 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 11AM Install New Software

Wednesday 7 January 0:23:06 UTC 2015

Tech: …and if it gives you any problems, just call me. Any time, doesn’t matter. I sleep with my cell phone.
Lawyer: I’ve slept with worse. 11377 West Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California Overheard by: Eve Z. Dropper [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Active shooter reported at William Beaumont Army Medical Center [News]

Wednesday 7 January 0:11:19 UTC 2015

News [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man wearing shirt that says "Seriously, I have drugs" is arrested for having drugs [Florida]

Wednesday 7 January 0:03:28 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

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