Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » terdberglerforlyfe says FML
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML [Link]
FMyLife » .__. says FML
Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Suck It Up. Without Hyperbole You Have No Job
Fashion editor: Our editors are not sneaker enthusiasts. It’s really hard for me to do a story saying this is the most important sneaker of our generation.1166 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » #2 of Al Qaeda in Afghanistan and Pakistan no longer holds that title, can switch to Geico to save on insurance [Interesting]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fearless leader [Photoshop]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Probably the best llama dressed as Santa's elf you'll see today [Amusing]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Years before Rolling Stone found itself with a bad rape story by Sabrina Rubin Erdely on its hands, Rolling Stone found itself with a bad rape story by Sabrina Rubin Erdely on its hands [Followup]
[link] [341 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman has newborn taken away after hospital calls CPS because… she checked herself out early, so therefore she must be on drugs [Scary]
[link] [230 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird, December 7, 2014
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M400, December 7, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
Kansas lawyer Dennis Hawver was disbarred in November for his comically bad (24 separate deficiencies) defense of double-murder suspect Phillip Cheatham in 2005 (which led to a new trial for Cheatham). Hawver had admitted to the jury that his client was a … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Most of the people who frequently win lottery prizes are…envelope please..Lottery ticket retailers. I bet no one saw that coming [Interesting]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
The Onion » No One At CBS Remembers Hiring O.J. Simpson As Color Commentator
NEW YORK—Claiming that their hiring protocol for on-air talent is usually very meticulous, sources at CBS confirmed Sunday that no one within the network can actually remember deciding to hire O.J. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » After four years of asking countries to take six Guantanamo detainees, DoD sends them to Uruguay. Apparently they asked in alphabetical order [Interesting]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brockton, Massachusetts is the city of (a) criminals, (b) champions, (c) idiots on their phones who walk in front of cars at night wearing dark clothes [Dumbass]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » he wasn't even playing says FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to cover his share of the rent because he didn't work during the week, saying business has been slow. I checked and found out he called in sick four times. He wanted to stay home and watch online gaming matches. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You wanna leave Jersey? That will be $14 please ($15 next year) [Interesting]
[link] [167 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Furry convention evacuated, 19 hospitalized after intentional chlorine leak. When will this fursecution end? [Scary]
[link] [298 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Judge sentencing burglar: Serves you right for breaking into an ex-rugby man's house, dumbass, you're lucky he didn't take your balls and score with them [Obvious]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Farker is looking for a good audiobook for a 14 hour drive over the holiday. Genre doesn't matter so much, but nothing non-fiction. Any recommendations? [Advice]
[link] [266 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Folks in Allouez, Wisconsin are easily amused [Silly]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » On the 73rd anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, let's check in on how the USS Arizona memorial is doing [Sad]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No one escapes a fuel truck that's just exploded after a crash unless you are perhaps: The Terminator? [Scary]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » More than one million flee Ruby. Hopefully they aren't running to PHP [Scary]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » elissak says FML
Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Virginia Zoo celebrates birth of ugly-ass prehensile-tail porcupine. Zoo officials still wonder how porcupines are able to have sex [Spiffy]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today in Headline MadLibs: "New Forest road safety campaign donkey killed by car" [Ironic]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Usher is a player [Cool]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption this chatty cat [Caption]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Gassy and sassy says FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Casting Elliott in "E.T."
In this video, E.T. Casting Director Marci Liroff explains how she cast Henry Thomas in the lead role. It's a surprisingly moving story, involving Dungeons & Dragons, very emotional improv, the working title of the film (keep an eye out at 0:35), and more. This is short, and really cool: And now, three minutes of raw footage from Thomas's audition, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pigeon that looks like a Dark Crystal reject falls from sky, hitting every branch on the ugly tree. Taken into animal sanctuary as Turkey [Sad]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Food Jewelry
Hatanaka, a Japanese maker of plastic food replicas for restaurants, has branched out into the jewelry business. Among the eye-catching fashion accessories it's offering are a spaghetti hairpiece and a curry rice necklace. See more of its jewelry line at OhGizmo.com. You can purchase these things from Hatanaka, but it looks like they're currently out of stock.
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Nobody Said Being a Stay-at-Home Mom Was Easy
Coworker on cell: You've spent twenty minutes telling me how hammered you've been for the last eight days, and now you're drinking Bourbon in my bed, something I've never done… Collegeville, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Nothing More Dangerous Than a Heart-Cloud
Rep #1: What are you looking at?
Rep #2: It's a Mexican government web page. You can see the clouds and stuff anywhere in the world.
Rep #1: Cool.
Rep #2: It's super cool. I like, like the clouds and stuff. Maybe I should have been a cardiologist. Sioux City, Iowa [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Keep Convincing Yourself Of That, Mr. Hefner.
Boss to underling: We'll see it harden up when people use it.Tysons Corner, Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » From the People Who Brought You NYPD Shoe…
Coworker, examining scratched up phone: Life is rough in my pocket. Vancouver
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Actually, I Thought “Mazel Tov” Was Your Name.
Colleague #1, through the coat closet door: Oh, hey, you changing in there?Colleague #2: Yes.Colleague #1: Oh, okay. Mazel tov…Colleague #2: Uhh… Mazel tov to what?Manhattan, New YorkOverheard by: Jeff [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Mr. Fluffy Hates His False Eyelashes
Boss, knowingly: It's like trying to put makeup on a cat, it just doesn't stay on…Roanoke, Virginia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this band all fired up [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This driver is so bad that you just might watch a 4 minute and 29 second video of a parking lot [Dumbass]
[link] [149 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: What Color is “Marsala”?
Pantone's Color of the Year for 2015 is "a robust, earthy wine color"—though some disagree with the wisdom of the company's selection. * That old Hogwarts magic isn't dead yet: J. K. Rowling has just announced the upcoming release of an even dozen servings of new Harry Potter material, one story for each of the twelve days of Christmas. * … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Insert a quarter, and one of the Gibb Brothers comes out.
Boss: You're just jealous cause you get the water but not the disco dispenser.Burnaby
CanadiaOverheard by: Working Girl [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The newest one was built 30 years ago. Keep calm and BRRRRRRRRRT on [Cool]
[link] [152 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you happen to know anything about the person who stole a 5-foot crucifix from a church during mass, the New York City police would like to have a word with you [PSA]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Natural Body Brace
Unnatural is more like it!
Original ad here. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » So How about Dinner on Friday?
Sales manager: My husband and I used that new KY warming gel last night, and I thought of you.Female sales assistant: Ummm, could you please not think of me while you’re having sex?Sales manager: No, what I mean is…Female sales assistant: No. Please, just stop.Brentwood, TennesseeOverheard by: sex object [Link]
Mental Floss » This Delightful Video Will Bring Out Your Inner Typophile
To celebrate the launch of Web FontFonts with OpenType features, Stark Films and FontFont teamed up to bring you this charming video. Fonts and typefaces are brought alive with ants, machinery, and mice. The phrase "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" is commonly used to showcase fonts because it incorporates all the letters of the alphabet; you … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Everything You Need to Know About Chelmsford, Dear Reader
Shrill employee: What the hell? I did a search for Latin restaurants in the area, but all that came up was a Peruvian restaurant!Chelmsford, Massachusetts [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cute teen who ate TWO dinners a night loses 5 stone in one year thanks to the cabbage soup diet (w/before and after pics) [Spiffy]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: Making a phony bomb threat to divert cops from your home is not likely to work if you leave caller ID on [Dumbass]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 2/15/13: woman gives birth to her son on the way to the hospital, place of birth listed as 42nd Street and I-80 exit. 12/4/14: woman gives birth to her daughter on the way to the hospital, place of birth listed as 42nd Street and I-80 exit [Strange]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Made to Order
Image: Wikimedia Commons Draw three circles of equal size and inscribe them with a pentagon, a hexagon, and a decagon. The sides of these figures form a right triangle — and half of a golden rectangle. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man leaves his dog with an ex when he gets deployed to Afghanistan, comes home to find the dog ran away. Only to spot his dog on the Humane Society's website and be reunited [Sappy]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Phoenix rises from the ashes, no, seriously, it actually happened [Obvious]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster – sorry, I mean "psychic medium" – who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska hosted by a farker [Spiffy]
[link] [308 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And to my niece, Karen, I do bequeath the entirety of my photobucket, my iTunes, and the contents of my dropbox [Interesting]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Tricks Facial Recognition Technology Will Teach Your Computer
Just a few years ago, the idea that your PC, tablet, or phone could “recognize” your face sounded like science fiction. But with new 3D scanning technology and depth cameras coming soon from Intel, a host of innovative applications could be here sooner than you think—and some are already a reality thanks to Intel. 1. To Put You Right in … [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Delightfully Quirky Airports and Airstrips
Today is International Civil Aviation Day, which makes it the perfect time to celebrate some of the globe’s most amazing places to land. [Link]
FMyLife » fistycunt4 says FML
Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police officer attacked by woman armed with razor escapes after close shave [Scary]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ex-wife of billionaire suing to get more money than what she got in the divorce. Says the pitiful scraps of $1 billion cash, two $15 million ranches and a $4.6 million house aren't enough to live on [Asinine]
[link] [142 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 12PM Pay Plumbers
Blue collar #1: Man, that’s a large hole.
Blue collar #2: Well, I loosened the hole up just before you came in here.
Blue collar #1: I’ll seal that up tight.
Blue collar #2: I had to give it some good shakes to get it loose. 1545 Crossways Boulevard
Chesapeake, Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Ten Bucks Says It's Not to Scale.
Cubicle dweller: Yeah, it's humongous! I have a picture of it!Rockefeller Center
Manhattan, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » All My Toys Run on Gasoline, Sir
Older, slightly creepy, owner of firm: Do we have any more batteries?Young, cute receptionist: No, I can order some.Owner: Nah, just run home and get the ones out of the toy under your pillow.Houston, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We Thought So, Tim.
Customer service rep: Weren't you PMSing last week?Coworker: Apparently, I was just being a bitch.Tulsa, Oklahoma [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Jamie Oliver's Stories Are Often Misinterpreted.
Male coworker: I have a tiny one and I whipped it out the other day.Sacramento, CaliforniaOverheard by: Not surprised [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But without the Hassle of a Trial
Supervisor #1: Anyone want any chocolate? I have three pounds.Supervisor #2: From the boyfriend, huh?Supervisor #3: I don’t think I could eat three pounds of anything. What could I eat three pounds of?Supervisor #1: Ice cream. I could eat three pounds of ice cream.Supervisor #3: I could definitely eat three pounds of ice cream. That’s kind of a gross thought, though.Supervisor … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Schedule Basic Phone Course
Engineer #1: I just lost that guy.
Engineer #2: Didn’t you transfer him up front?
Engineer #1: He’ll call back. The phone rings. Engineer #1 on phone: Hello? …Uh, yeah, sorry about that…Here you go. The phone rings. 9531 Rayne Road
Sturtevant, Wisconsin [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Happy Holidays Here's your new water meter and a $4000 water bill, since we'd been "estimating" your bill for the last 10 years [Stupid]
[link] [129 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But the Problem Is, We’re Completely Wrong
Lawyer #1: We still have the right to prove we’re right, right?Lawyer #2: Right.465 California Street
San Francisco, CaliforniaOverheard by: dances with lawyers [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The moral of this story is don't take your $85,000 silver plate crafted by Pablo Picasso to a Miami art fair [Florida]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Unlikely James Bond vehicles. LGT inspiration [Photoshop]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Without Contempt for the Customer, No One Could Work in a Department Store
Older saleswoman, picking up the phone: Hello, this is Sue. How may I help you? Yes? Oh, no! Oh, dear! Definitely! Absolutely, just bring it on in and I’ll take care of it for you. No problem! I’m soooo sorry. I am so, so, so sorry!! [Hangs up phone.] I’m sorry your mother was a prostitute.Department Store
Omaha, NebraskaOverheard by: lisa [Link]
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