Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » "Mum thinks I'm an idiot, dad's not too proud either" [Obvious]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's opiates in them thar buns [Amusing]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Snap, Krackle, Death [Scary]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Aw, darn it, the prohibitionists missed out. Turns out no cannabis candy has turned up, so far, in little kids' Halloween candy haul. Stoners running off, cackling with glee [Obvious]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » jay-frey96 says FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this natural discovery [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hey, remember how the no-fly zone above Ferguson, Missouri was a public safety measure and not a way of keeping news helicopters away? Yeah, about that [Followup]
[link] [180 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Is the Pope Catholic? [Interesting]
[link] [253 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After twenty years on the run, a former New York drug kingpin gets arrested in Oregon after filling out paperwork for Social Security benefits [Followup]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The art of duck farming is sadly flying away from the minds of New York's Long Island [Interesting]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you ever get the urge to give up two millennia of food technology and eat like the ancients, NPR explains how to prepare acorns [PSA]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » wow says FML
Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ice cream truck driver arrested for DUI. Hey, you'd drink, too, if you had to put up with screaming kids while listening to "Turkey In The Straw" all farking day [Dumbass]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Typically, when an inmate escapes from jail, prison officials immediately notify law enforcement. Typically. Some days, you just wait until the escapee has a seven hour head start [Florida]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » smellyhair says FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oooh, aaahh. *ow ow ow* Oh yeah, baby. *ow ow ow* Do you like it like that? *ow ow ow* Oh, goddamnitsomuch [Plug]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » anonymous says FML
Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What are you in for? Murder? Theft? Watching volleyball? [Asinine]
[link] [180 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Hampshire city wants group to stop feeding parking meters, say they really miss that sweet, sweet parking ticket money [Interesting]
[link] [143 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Know That Rumor That Iron Filings Are Better Than Cocaine?
Man on cell: What made you stick a magnet up your nose?5th & Jackson Streets
Topeka, Kansas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …This Is Why I Have You on My Staff.
Engineer on phone to pumper: You gotta have the sucking and the blowing. (pause) Does he have liquid? (pause) That's why you gotta keep on blowing and sucking. (pause) Yeah, great, thanks.Dallas, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Too Little, Too Late for the Chicken
Marketing manager: My uncle had a chicken incident, and then he learned to keep his pants on.Queen Anne Avenue
Seattle, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » If It Involves Your Bunions Again, I'm Hanging Up.
Coworker on phone: Ma'am, are you an owner with Melvin? I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. Again, ma'am, I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. We didn't even book your vaca…okay, fine. Tell me your little story.Redmond, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Congratulations, We Can't Think of a Non-Sexual Entendre for This One
Cubicle neighbor on phone: I'll hold this and you just poke your balls in that hole and lets see what happens.Dothan, AlabamaOverheard by: Too Close for comfort co-worker [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Shhh! I Want To Get an Edge on the Competition
Male coworker: You want to split this with me?Female coworker: No, I can't. I'm fasting this week.Male coworker: Oh, you mean practicing your anorexia?Female coworker: Um… yes.Portland, OregonOverheard by: cuatros [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this idyllic Autumn waterway [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After 50 years, it's usually impossible to return a souvenir from your vacation. Unless, it's a piece of Pompeii [Followup]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Sexy Pig Statue
This is not an anthropomorphic Miss Piggy in her ballgown and gloves. It's a barnyard-realistic pig dressed for the bedroom. Make of it what you will.
Buy yours here. [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: What A Black Hole Looks Like
Christopher Nolan's upcoming sci-fi flick Interstellar takes some liberties with the laws of physics, but at least one thing on screen is real: the special effects team's depiction of a black hole, rendered from actual data, that turns out to be the most scientifically accurate model possible. * Spooky author extraordinaire R.L. Stine has taken his creepy fiction to Twitter, … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …As Confucius Famously Said.
Manager: If I break your chair, then it's broken!Durham, North CarolinaOverheard by: Well…yeah [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop FRISKA [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wisconsin bowhunter shot in the head after being mistaken for a squirrel. And if you think that is surprising, just wait until you see the size of our rabbits [Scary]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nine questions Japanese women must answer to learn whether their man is worth marrying. "Male cat lovers tend to be more effeminate and self-centered, and can be more affectionate towards their cats than their wives" [Amusing]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The dog-hair yarn business
Back in the 1980s, Betty Burlan Burian Kirk got the idea of starting a business spinning dog-hair yarn. Her clients were people who "want to wear something from their dog." She said it was "becoming more and more popular."
The Tuscaloosa News – Oct 20, 1987
Has the trend of "wearing your pet" continued to grow in popularity since the … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Stocking the Shelves
Lady: Where are the eggs?
Sales rep at grocery store: I’m sorry, I don’t work here.
Lady, turning to husband: She doesn’t speak English.
Sales rep: No ma’am, I don’t work here. 1300 Elmhurst Road
Des Plaines, Illinois [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Seven Dwarfs delve too greedily and too deep [Obvious]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Though Sometimes I Do Hollow Them Out and Store My Weed in Them– Any Questions?
Not-so-smart office girl on phone: They think I read The Enquirer or something. I don't. I read people, I don't read books.The Woodlands, TexasOverheard by: hallokitty [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Getting a Government Contract. Didn’t I Say That?
Coworker #1 on phone: Seriously, it was like neutering a cat with a butter knife.Coworker #2 on speaker: What?DT Sacramento, CaliforniaOverheard by: Suddenly glad I don’t have pets [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when you finally win $900 on a scratch off lottery ticket? [Asinine]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brazilian bats take over a courthouse building in Utah and surprisingly for some it was a very hairy situation [Obvious]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Warm Work
When Jos de Vink retired from a career in computer technology in 2002, he began casting about for an engaging project. His neighbor, a passionate model builder, challenged him to design a working hot air engine driven solely by the heat of a tea or wax light. De Vink produced a trial engine using the principles of the first hot … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman learns that even if your kids are potty mouths, you can't feed them toilet bowl cleaner [Florida]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ThaBoss12 says FML
Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Meet the FBI agent who gives nicknames to bank robbers. As a source of additional revenues, why not sell naming rights? [Amusing]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A caller reported that a squirrel was chasing and attacking children on a playground" [Amusing]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Misconceptions from the Movies
Elliott Morgan clears up some things you might have picked up from movies. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Second grader takes over the WGN morning weather forecast and gives viewers the best 3 minutes of TV weather in network history [Amusing]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Knock, knock: This is the police, do you have Ebola? [Interesting]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman threatens to infect a Walmart employee with HIV when he tried to thwart her attempts to abscond with dozens of frozen TV dinners [Scary]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Millennials are facing one of the biggest challenges to relationships: cohabitation before marriage [Silly]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cheerleader: "What do we want?" … Crowd: "VICTORY" … Cheerleader: "I can't hear you…" Crowd: "VICTORY" … Cheerleader: "I can't hear you…" Crowd: "VICTORY" … Cheerleader: "I can&#
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Career Tip: Call It a “Snow Thrower,” Ladies
Guy: It took me two hours to shovel my driveway this morning.Girl: Why don't you get a snow blower?Guy: Because they're expensive.Girl: Why don't you split it with your neighbor? Then you could take turns blowing each other.Plymouth Meeting, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: shovel buddy [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You’re Supposed to Read Them, Not Use Them As a Blanket
Retired lawyer: I’m just buried under these law documents.Boss: Wait, are you practicing law without a license?Retired lawyer: No, without knowledge.2550 Q Street NW
Washington, DCOverheard by: C Dubz [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Poor Little Tommy Was Spontaneously Digested on Stage
Worker bee: Well, there were enzymes in the ham costume…1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New YorkOverheard by: busy like a bee [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Hang Magazine Rack
Nurse #1: Do you want me to go through your legs?
Nurse #2: I can’t believe you don’t want to go through my legs to find the lower hole.
Nurse #1: Well, pull out the first one so I can see!
Nurse #2: Is it in?
Nurse #1: I don’t know, I can’t feel anything!
Nurse #2: I’m gonna pee … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I'm Trying to Get the Visual Just Right
Boss: It was some chick college…
Minion: I have to ask, was it an Asian chick college? Phoenix, Arizona Overheard by: outside laughing [Link]
Mental Floss » The Least Common Presidential Names
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Then I Want You to Stay on the Phone with Me ’til He Gets Here
Customer: Can you tell me if the installer is running on time today?CSR: I have no way of knowing that, sir. Your appointment is scheduled between twelve and four today. If the installer is not there by four, then you can call back and we can tell you that he is running late.Enfield, Connecticut [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dark creation [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
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