Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » What would you do when the thin man in a red hat walking two mean dogs hands you a live grenade? [Scary]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » notmarryingyou says FML
Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A ton of police have surrounded a small Ferguson protest and are making arrests. This is not a repeat [Asinine]
[link] [176 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For only $1,000, you too can own a purse made from dog hair [Florida]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Once again, using a stolen forklift to make off with an ATM never gets old in Florida [Florida]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hey Millennials, having trouble paying back those college loans, rent, or just finding a good full time gig? Newsweek wants you to know there's this new thing called "Sugar Dating" and pretty much everyone's doing it [Asinine]
[link] [193 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » President Obama denied tee times at three golf courses, forced to attend fundraisers instead [Interesting]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NFL looking for new commissioner [NewsFlash]
[link] [541 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Crossword Puzzles Are Made
Last week, we published an item on how crossword puzzles are made. As many, many readers pointed out, we didn't have our facts straight. You deserve better! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One of the highest ranking members in the history of Scientology reveals why she left the alien worshiping, celebrity fleecing cult. And yes they are going full force after her [Hero]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Latest from the network that reports everywhere a plane is not: the woman who will not be not attending the games that no one knows about [Asinine]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I'll see your history teacher complaining about a lack of god in public schools and raise you a biology teacher who said, "evolution based [sic] science classes discredit the reliability of the Bible and get rid of God as Creator" [Stupid
[link] [148 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dominatrix speaking at Canadian Senate committee threatens to out politicians who use sex services if new backwards arse Conservative prostitution bill goes through. In other news, Fark desperately in need of "Oh Snap" tag [Hero]
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The Onion » American Voices: ‘Apple Pay’ To Let Users Tap Phones As Credit Cards
Among its flurry of new releases, Apple also unveiled a new mobile payment system called Apple Pay, which allows users to tap their smartphones at cash registers in place of a credit card, a service some experts worry will make users susceptible to securi… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: How to Make A Meal Happy
McDude These are the toys you should really get in a Happy Meal. * Secret Burn Did you know that Shrek, Goldfinger and these other works of pop culture art were secretly very pointed insults? * Who Is That Cowboy in the Pirate Movie? Did you ever notice these famous film flubs? * It’s A Fair Question What if you … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A 2012 federal investigation found that cops planted meth on a woman in retaliation for her refusal of a judge's sexual advances and now she's been arrested again for meth for real. Woman's lawyer: WAIT A GOSH DARN MINUTE [Interesting]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Frustrated ESPN Producer Demands New Camera Angle Of Ray Rice Punching Wife
BRISTOL, CT—Expressing his intense aggravation Wednesday at having limited footage to air throughout the network’s programming, visibly frustrated ESPN senior producer Mark Hutcheson reportedly demanded a new camera angle of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice assaulting his then-fiancée in a casino elevator this past February. 
[Link]
The Onion » Frustrated ESPN Producer Demands New Camera Angle Of Ray Rice Punching Wife
BRISTOL, CT—Berating his staff Wednesday for failing to do their jobs, visibly frustrated ESPN senior producer Mark Hutcheson reportedly demanded a new camera angle of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice assaulting his then-fiancée in a ca… 
[Link]
The Onion » Concert Security Drastically Overestimating Fans’ Desire To Get Close To Cheap Trick
DAYTON, OH—Taking note of the dozen or so individuals standing in tight formation behind a row of linked steel barricades Tuesday night, sources confirmed that venue security at the Fraze Pavilion had drastically overestimated the desire of concertg… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Joker [Photoshop]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Mechanics take customer cars for a late-night drag race. Fark: Marked police cruisers [Dumbass]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Now here's something that'll keep you up nights worrying: Researchers find that users of sleeping pills and anti-anxiety drugs have as much as a 51% greater chance of developing Alzheimer's [Scary]
[link] [147 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "911, help, my wife is having a baby." "Okay, don't worry, we'll send some more pregnant women to your house" [Strange]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Owner's Box: Don’t Panic And Drop All Domestic Abusers From Your Roster Just Because Of Ray Rice Suspension
OSN’s fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, says owners should keep the domestic abusers on their team since the Ray Rice suspension is a one-time incident. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Unusual Coloring Books for Adults
Like slumber parties, whipped cream, and juice boxes, coloring books aren't just for kids anymore. There's a huge collection of coloring books that appeal to a (slightly) more mature crowd out there, perfect for any coffee table. We tried our hand at coloring a few. [Link]
The Onion » Obama To Assure Nation That ISIS Campaign Will Be Drawn-Out Ordeal They’re Used To
WASHINGTON—Previewing tonight’s televised prime-time address to the nation, White House aides confirmed that President Obama will reassure Americans that the impending military campaign against ISIS will be the exact same type of open-ended, d… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The best burrito sold in America comes from Chipotle. Espera. ¿Usted es serio? Déjenme reír aún más fuerte [Amusing]
[link] [206 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know what else plays in Peoria? Highly contagious Norwegian scabies [Sick]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for your meddling kid" [Hero]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You can add "frisbee golfers" to the giant list of "Things that cause a 'responsible gun owner' to fear for his life" [Asinine]
[link] [208 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you transferred all your nude pictures to Google we've got some bad news for you [Scary]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Truck spills thousands of oranges across the road and it's BEAUTIFUL [Spiffy]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Self-Test
Xavier Henry Leder, who declares himself “by profession a seaman,” patented this “foul breath indicator” in 1902, perhaps after inventing it for his own use. “It is an appliance in the shape of a tube, made of any non-absorbent material and curved so as to transmit without any obstruction the breath from the mouth to the nostrils. … By breathing … [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Onion’s 2014 University Rankings
The Onion’s 2014 University Rankings 
[Link]
Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week — SPX 2014 Edition
This week I take a look at some interesting comics that will be debuting at the Small Press Expo this weekend. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ever wondered why "food pilgrims" will line up for hours to taste the latest hip food? No, it's not because they're morons. Well, OK, not only because of that [Dumbass]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Charts reveal what ages men and women find the most attractive in a partner – and the results are as creepy as you might suspect [Sad]
[link] [339 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Court frowns on the efforts of a man who tried to re-set a rooster's internal clock with a baseball bat [Followup]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Lou Hoover: A Lady of Firsts
The wife of the president was just that—until a gun-toting geologist named Lou Hoover moved into the East Wing. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pennsylvania teen busted after posting Facebook pic of him getting to 3rd base with a statue of Jesus [Asinine]
[link] [190 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Get a cup of coffee from the office break room. Inhale the aroma. Anticipate that first taste. Bring the mug to your lips. Pause for a scintillating moment before swallowing the coffee and all the office germs that came with it [Sick]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh kids, Horton and the Kwuggerbug are back with some other "Lost Stories" from Dr. Seuss [Cool]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Absentminded Nation Catches Itself Turning To Its Leaders Again
WASHINGTON—Rolling their eyes at their own foolishness and silently chastising themselves the second they realized their mistake, millions of absentminded Americans once again caught themselves turning to their leaders this week, sources confirmed W… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » New campaign aims to stop bullying of gingers even though gingers have no souls [Obvious]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Nation’s Huggers Announce Plans For You To Get Over Here
WASHINGTON—Approaching slowly with their arms spread open wide, thousands of huggers across the country announced their intention for you to get on over here Wednesday. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » A friendly reminder: Some of the world's most popular websites will intentionally slow down because they think it will draw attention to the net neutrality controversy. It's your official REMEMBER BUFFERING discussion thread [PSA]
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Fark.com RSS » Scientists discover mutant bacteria that thrive on a steady diet of radioactive waste. No way this could possibly go wrong [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Arizona is underwater. This is not a repeat from December 7, 1941 [Repeat]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Founder of Maine elephant refuge trampled to death by elephant; now they're going to blame ALL the elephants but this is probably the work of el-queda [Ironic]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman high on meth yells at her disabled boyfriend, pushing him off his mobility scooter and then screaming in rage in full view of neighbors. How this didn't happen in Florida is beyond everyone [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Today's 'engineer accidentally loads his entire porn stash to a public Jumbotron' story is brought to you by China [Fail]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Famous last words directed at the police :"HEY This is on iCloud" [Scary]
[link] [358 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Sound and Smell
Can you solve the Word Ladder in today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game Wednesday Wordplay challenge in five steps or fewer? Prove it! By changing one letter in each step to form English words, and leaving all other letters in their original positions, convert EARS into NOSE in the fewest possible steps. E A R S
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ … [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Ready-to-Digest Tidbits About the TV Dinner
Happy National TV Dinner Day! Not only does September 10th hold a special spot on the calendar for the frozen entrée, but this year also marks the 60th anniversary of this iconic, slightly controversial, and constantly changing American meal of convenience. 1.THE FIRST TV DINNER WAS MODELED AFTER A THANKSGIVING FEAST The first official “TV Dinner”-branded TV dinner was created … [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Incredible Illusions in Fine Art
eyescreamsunday.com Any good work of art deserves a closer look, but the illusions in these masterpieces really reward the viewer who makes a thorough inspection. 1. “The Ambassadors,” Hans Holbein the Younger, 1553 
Wikimedia Commons This sumptuous dual portrait of Jean de Dintevill and Georges de Selve emphasizes their wealth and worldly knowledge. The top shelf and bottom shelf contain … [Link]
Mental Floss » Can "Y'all" Be Used to Refer to a Single Person?
For over a century, a controversy has been brewing over what might be called the Loch Ness Monster of dialect study: the elusive singular “y’all.” There are a few who claim to have seen it in the wild, and many who denounce such claims as nonsense. Does it exist? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ISIS declares war on Twitter: Whoever loses, we win [Interesting]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Guy talks about drugs at dinner. Fark: Butt-dials 911 while talking about drug deal, gets arrested after dessert [Fail]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The next time you're following a recipe that calls for shrimp and you're all out of shrimp, just use crickets [Unlikely]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: McDonald’s Testing Customizable Burgers To Compete With Chipotle
In order to compete with the increasingly popular Chipotle, which allows customers to select fresh ingredients for meals, McDonald’s is reportedly testing out a 100 percent customizable burger option that enables customers to choose their bread, che… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » ….and that's how the Allen wrench led to World War III [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Ukraine crisis may have re-energised Nato's interest in Europe, but its future lies in closed-off cliquey meetings between key players, rather than grand self-congratulatory summits [Interesting]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Quiznos owner causes controversy by displaying sign that says "We the people are angry." The anger most likely stems from a hoagie vs. sub. vs. grinder debate [Silly]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "To the outside world, Northern Ireland remains a strange, peripheral backwater" [Obvious]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 of the Most Innovative Portrait Artists Working Today
cubeworks.ca Portraiture has come a long way from those stuffy paintings you studied in art history class. These 11 artists and collectives are finding new ways to present one of art’s oldest subjects. 1. Cube Works Studio If you think it's hard to solve a single Rubik's cube, try making a portrait with thousands of them. Cube Works Studio in … [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: The Pros And Cons Of A Long-Distance Relationship
Many couples choose to enter long-distance relationships when a partner moves for work, while couples who meet on trips or online begin dating in the hopes they’ll one day live in the same city. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Squirrel steals packet of drugs and runs away from students and police officer [Amusing]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Egypt says two men arrested at same-sex marriage "test negative" for homosexuality. There's a test for that now? [Weird]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Take away Harvard's tax-exempt status. "Harvard is a real-estate and hedge-fund concern that happens to have a college attached" [Obvious]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Guarded by headless sphinxes and supported by armless virgins, could this be the lost tomb of Alexander the Great? Probably not say excavators, but a lot of statues were harmed in its making, that's for sure [Interesting]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Hug a Tree—They Help Keep You Healthy
Nebraskan Julius Sterling Morton believed that planting trees could save America, and he convinced the state to celebrate Arbor Day in April 1872. By planting trees, Morton hoped to prevent erosion, preserve the topsoil, and break some of the raging winds across the plains. While Arbor Day wasn’t officially adopted in the United States until 100 years later, Morton was … [Link]
Weird Universe » Death by Parrot
It sounds like the parrot had it in for Mrs. Fannie Stewart. Source: Los Angeles Times, Sep 25, 1947.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » There was a time in our society when people thought it was good idea to put their babies in cages and hang them outside of windows to air them out [Strange]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just because you've sent Bristol Palin 1,000 messages on Facebook so you think that means she likes you doesn't mean it's cool to fly all the way up to Alaska to surprise her in her driveway [Weird]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mynyddygarreg woman who drove 300 yards while drunk banned for two years after being unable to spell her town's name at police roadside checkpoint [Amusing]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Vancouver city officials would like reassure the public that they did not commission the anatomically-correct statue of Satan which was, um, 'erected' along Grandview highway last night (not safe for work) [Weird]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » World's fattest cat starts crash diet to reduce its weight from 23 pounds to something less grotesque (pics) [Scary]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you can hook up a machine gun to some car parts, a Game Boy, and a flatscreen TV, the Star League would like to recruit you to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada, because you're the future of urban warfare [Interesting]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, the Ferguson City Council held their first public meeting since the "recent unpleasantness." Let's see how that went…. Oh, dear [Followup]
[link] [306 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this white rabbit [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Pierre and Candy
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » 17-year-old girl starts successful donut shop in Virginia town. Enter conservative Christians [Stupid]
[link] [392 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Infant recovering after having arms and legs amputated. FARK: He was born with four of each [Weird]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How come you still get political robocalls even though you're on a 'Do Not Call' list? [Interesting]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Not Just "Us"
[Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Not Just "Us"
[Link]
FMyLife » thebigtwinkie says FML
Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Local school district now owns a tank for dealing with kids that won't pay attention in class [Scary]
[link] [209 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Google Autocomplete Results for Celebrities
Ah, the joy of illustrating weird autocompletes from other people’s Google searches!
*
A Ridiculously Photogenic Fox Is Just Too Friendly To Leave Human Caretakers. Events have conspired to keep her with the people she loves.
*
Young Frankenstein and the Enduring Appeal of the Horror Comedy. The easiest way to deal with fear is to laugh it away.
*
You’ve … [Link]
FMyLife » Itchy Missy says FML
Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know how there have only been four Ebola patients evacuated to the United States? Yeah, you didn't actually know that, because it's a lot more [Scary]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hmm. Be out of work two weeks with a higher probability of encephalitis and other horrible side effects, or get vaccinated. Decisions decisions [Obvious]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Much Sugar People Eat Around the World
Which country eats the most sugar? [Link]
FMyLife » retromermaid says FML
Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Forget the "Like" button. Now you can buy your friends a beer on Facebook [Silly]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.” — Leonardo “Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.” — Nietzsche “Opinions have caused more ills than the plague or earthquakes on this little globe of ours.” — Voltaire “The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And you know there is someone out there in NYC that would actually pay $1 million for a parking space [Stupid]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This is what happens when British people have too much time on their hands [Amusing]
[link] [129 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » More American families own cats than stocks [Obvious]
[link] [141 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Honestly, who puts butter in their coffee? That's not regular [Interesting]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police ID Cleveland-area teens responsible for prank on autistic kid, Roger Goodell sentences them to attend two Browns games [Sick]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japanese Emperor warned his country about going to war with the U.S. ahead of WWII – and even tried to talk the Germans out of bombing Pearl Harbor, according to new book [Interesting]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The U.S. Map Redrawn as 50 States With Equal Population
What state would you live in? [Link]
Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: The Miracle on the Marne
The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 142nd installment in the series. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Walmart releases new dress code for employees. Unfortunately still no dress code for customers [Followup]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » shadyladyhh says FML
Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It rained in Nevada, so I-15 north of Las Vegas will be closed for days while DOT officials look for their sponge [PSA]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » sydspears3 says FML
Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teen girls are known to try and get as close to their idols as possible as they become emotionally over-attached to stars, like Robert Pattinson, Justin Bieber, ISIS, David Beckh–WAIT WHAT? [Scary]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man busted at bus station for drug cache found inside his D.A.R.E. Lion [Dumbass]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'Braveheart'
You remember Mel Gibson’s award-winning performance as William Wallace, but these nuggets about the creation of Braveheart may enrich your repeat viewings. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Come for the drunk customer that bites two, stay for the chef that reverses a head lock [Cool]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Iron Photoshop Ingredient: The incredible, edible egg [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
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