Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » 21 foolproof pick-up lines [Spiffy]
[link] [283 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » jackie89 says FML
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Seattle City Attorney urges citizens to fight legally-issued citations. Fark: citations for public marijuana use [Interesting]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Isn't That What Our Annual Shareholders' Meeting Is For?
Medicated sales rep, after groaning loudly: You just might see me do the downward dog.Cleveland, Ohio [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Steven Seagal plays a benefit concert for the rebels who shot down MH17. Dumbass tag doesn't seem strong enough [Dumbass]
[link] [181 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sorry, can't be bothered writing a headline, it's National Lazy Day [PSA]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A group of idiots gathered to hold a seance 200 feet from where Sharon Tate was murdered. The seance took place inside a home, and all the candles wound up causing the fire alarms to go off [Amusing]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Israelis and Palestinians agree to 72-hour ceasefire that will last until the end of this headline. Maybe [Unlikely]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Last Weei in Weird (August 10, 2014)
Last Week in Weird
datelines 8/1/2014–8/8/2014 (Part I)
[Links, chronological, on Extended page]
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Weird–the Rule of the Amateur Climatologists: The professional climatologists have mostly agreed that greenhouse gases bumped up by population and technology growth have made Earth’s atmosphere more dangerous. (In fairness, the amateur climatologists pretty much agree, too–that it’s a … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Last week: US airstrikes in Iraq won't accomplish anything. Today: The Kurds retake two towns from ISIS with US air support [Cool]
[link] [167 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML [Link]
FMyLife » painedandpissed says FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this car [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There are actually three states that are more corrupt than Illinois. Can you guess which ones? Nope, New Jersey didn't even make the list of the worst 10 [Interesting]
[link] [148 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Rose of Jericho, a Timelapse Wonder
The Rose of Jericho is a tumbleweed. It tumbles around the desert in a dried-up ball for months or years, but when it rains, we see why it's also called a resurrection plant: it unfurls and blooms, dispersing seeds. Here's a beautiful timelapse video showing how the process works. Note that this was filmed by Neil Bromhall for the BBC … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pittsburgh airport has banned all solicitations on their grounds, even the Salvation Army [Sad]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Want a historical piece of property around Philadelphia? It will cost $20 million and may need about $50 million in repairs and even then would have limited uses [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » hales90 says FML
Today, I drove an hour to a friend's wedding. Realizing I was too early, I sat in my car at a gas station and watched The Office to kill time. I walked in to see the newly married couple escorting the last few rows out. I had been told the wrong time and the wedding was over. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » What Iconic Movie Props Later Sold For
Some of the priciest movie props ever on the market. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Google Street View car crashes going the wrong direction on a one-way street. If there was only some place they could have downloaded a map [Fail]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police kill unarmed 18 year old with shots to the back of the head and neck as he's running away. Police spokesman: He was resisting. Nothing to see here [Asinine]
[link] [248 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tired of vandals, 91-year-old WWII veteran will auction massive antique car, tractor collection. A bit sappy, but does include the line: "That episode came a handful of years after he went Jack Dempsey on a hooligan" [Sappy]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's time once again for your updated Chicago Weekend Shooting Tracker. This was a fairly quiet weekend in Chiraq, with sixteen people wounded in gun violence but no one actually dying. Looks like things are looking up [Followup]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Smoking hot 23-year-old redhead and her family share their home with meerkats, tarantulas and a skunk. What could possibly go wrong? (w/pics) [Cool]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Surviving in Outer Space
Neil deGrasse-Tyson has the scoop on how long a human being would last on each planet in our solar system. Don't get too excited about that Martian vacation home. * Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of lead? Ah, not so fast: there might be a little more nuance to the question. * In the wake … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Architect designing a zoo free of cages and glass enclosures, failing to realize that a concept like that exists called NATURE [Stupid]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wanted: Look out for this bank robber, and he also has a fondness for hats [Amusing]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Severn-year-old boy attacked by shark in LAKE PONTCHARTRAIN. Doctors say he'll be okay, has asked for a "bigger boat" [Scary]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nine-year-old boy fights off alligator in attack. The next day, news reporters mistake the casual banter of a child filled to the gills with morphine and Demerol with heroic nonchalance [Scary]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ThatsNotGrass says FML
Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML [Link]
FMyLife » jakethemuss says FML
Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Social Thermonuclear Justice, a strange game, the only winning move is not to play [Obvious]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (August 10, 2014)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M383, August 10, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
Perspective: Jeff Mizanskey, 61, is a poster child for one well-known criticism of mandatory-minimum sentencing laws–that nonviolent marijuana users (and small-time sellers) may wind up doing decades of hard time and in fact more time than some sociopathic offenders serve for heinous … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nihilists, dude [Misc]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Setting up a meth lab in a Wal Mart parking lot may be a brilliant way to capitalize on customer synergy, but (and I know this sounds unlikely) eventually someone is going to notice a mob of toothless naked people and think something is wrong [Amusin
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Once again for the terminally dense: Science doesn't care what you believe. It just works [Repeat]
[link] [160 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That roar of laughter you heard rippling across the Atlantic was merely the chuckling of common English folk laughing at the government's suggestion that they take a day off of drinking every other night [Unlikely]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Meet the Inventor Of Mescalean Cuisine
Guy to friend: Just because I love mescaline doesn't mean I don't have standards!Fort Worth, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » With Lady Quackbeth Somewhere in the Middle
Manager to another: I'm more comfortable with the Shakespearean heroines than the ducklings.San Francisco [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Don't You Have to Get Drunk First?
Female coworker on phone: If he doesn't get that dishwasher off the deck I'm going to go out and take a sledgehammer to his truck.Woburn, MassachusettsOverheard by: Blazer & Blue Jeans [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Hobo: I Was Researching Adult Entertainment Law!
Student: This place is nice.Employee: Yeah, it’s really peaceful until the homeless guys look at porn on the Internet and they have to call the cops.Student: Does that happen a lot?Employee: Yeah. What else do they have to do?Law Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Have a Three-Second Memory Span, Like a Goldfish
Suit to friend: Nobody at work knows I have pierced nipples. Including me.Fair Lakes, Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM How Fast Can a Day be Ruined?
Co-worker #1: Where is my breakfast burrito?
Co-worker #2: Sorry bud, I totally forgot to order you one.
Co-worker #1: Next time I shoot my .357 magnum at the range…I’m going to draw your face on the target. 9785 Towne Centre Drive
San Diego, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Because Now I Have to Go See
Manager: I was walking my dog this morning when I felt a pain in a very private place, so I ran inside my house and pulled my pants down in my living room, and a fire ant had bitten me on my you-know-what!Employee: Ouch?Manager: It really itches. I keep going to the bathroom and pulling down my pants and looking at … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Barnes and Noble Are Two Separate Guys
Manager on phone: Yes sir, I'm aware that the auto-message is in two different voices. No sir, I did not think that people would be confused…I'm sorry you feel that way, sir.Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, WisconsinOverheard by: darkhorse [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So anyone remember when the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society claimed one of their ships was rammed and sunk by a Japanese whaling vessel? Yeah, about that [Asinine]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this magical tea party [Photoshop]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » When the Men of the Firm Proved Incapable of Satisfying Her, Stephanie Turned to the Animal Kingdom
Office manager: What is this book on my desk? Who left this here? Kiss of the Wolf?Sales guy: I have no idea, do you want to speculate here?Office manager: Didn’t this use to be in the girl’s bathroom?8220 England StreetCharlotte, North Carolina [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's a recipe for the world's best vegan guacamole. As opposed to all the meat-based guac out there [Strange]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » To Prevent Burial Alive
Source: The Western Gazette (Apr 15, 1905)
TO PREVENT BURIAL ALIVE
A LADY'S REMARKABLE REQUEST.
"Pray come immediately: Miss Cobbe seriously ill." A telegraph form bearing this message and addressed to Dr. Walter R. Hadwen, of Gloucester, was always kept upon the desk of the late Miss Frances Power Cobbe.
Miss Cobbe had a dread of being buried alive, and … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pessimists are happier when things go well. There's no way this is getting greened [Obvious]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Dinky Duck in IT’S A LIVING
Dinky Duck ends his short cartoon career by resigning and breaking the fourth wall.
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Frankly, I Don’t Think Anyone Would Eat That Shit on a Boat
Recruiter on phone: That’s not a Greek philosopher — that’s Dr. Seuss!Washington, DC [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When on electronically monitored house arrest you probably shouldn't be selling drugs. But if you have to for the love of FSM make sure you aren't selling them to an undercover cop [Dumbass]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's fark-ready headline: Former Apple employee named Sam Sung raises more than $80,000 for charity by auctioning off his old business card [Amusing]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You think your job is s**t? Fifteen year old boy dies when farm machine he is operating has a mechanical problem and overturns, trapping teenager in manure pit [Sad]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Everything is bigger in Texas, including their car accidents [Scary]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man charged with theft and child endangerment after shoplifting from a Kohl's and leaving behind the 4 year-old he was supposed to be babysitting [Dumbass]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sun bathing in a landlocked state can be dangerous–the UV rays can burn your skin and cause cancer, there's Sun-Ebola, and you spend half your day dodging pickup trucks trying to reverse over you in your driveway [Sad]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The unsung heroes who were responsible for keeping the Metric System out of America. Who knew there were so many Stonecutters? [Hero]
[link] [191 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's all fun and games 'til you get shot in the face and through both ears [Scary]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jet Blue passengers fail to pay the "extinguish the engine fire" fee [Scary]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That concrete was totally asking for it [Weird]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Looks like Russia will be Putin up with a free Republic of Ukraine. Now, about that Crimean thing [Followup]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » First Things Last
“I make a list of titles after I’ve finished the story or the book — sometimes as many as a hundred. Then I start eliminating them, sometimes all of them.” — Ernest Hemingway “The title comes afterwards, usually with considerable difficulty. … A working title often changes.” — Heinrich Böll “I have never been a title man. I don’t give … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some three letter agency tries to remove parts of public court transcript in a lawsuit over deleting evidence. Obvious tag looks incredulously at Asinine tag after it tries to redact itself from public view [Asinine]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Starbucks forced to deny rumors it funds Israel and the country's armies [Silly]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska, hosted by a farker [Spiffy]
[link] [251 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Multiple (but unconfirmed) reports indicate that NASCAR driver Tony Stewart intentionally ran over another driver who had gotten out of his vehicle during a race caution. Update: Driver pronounced DOA [Scary]
[link] [1196 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » TV News Crew tries out the new App that tells you where the "Sketchy" neighborhoods in DC are. What do you think happened to the crew when they got to said "Sketchy" neighborhood? [Ironic]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Ding dong the witch is dead." Is that an appropriate obituary opening? [Interesting]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police officer wanted a low-key 50th birthday. Then he went to his patrol car and found it covered in more than 4,000 Post-It Notes featuring well-wishes [Sappy]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You mean massaging my patient's breasts with oil won't help her whiplash? Should I have not done that? [Dumbass]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This steak n shake milkshake story is hard to swallow [Unlikely]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hey, you over there. Fancy pants. Don't be a single-malt scotch snob. Blended whiskies are often just as good [Interesting]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man accused of dancing in the seat of his tractor with his genitals exposed. He was probably just looking for a hoe [Florida]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gangs gradually getting out of distributing meth and crack cocaine in favor of lucrative new "wildlife crime" markets [Interesting]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Spicy
Hot pepper gummies! Are you brave enough to try these fiery hot candies? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Crazy Ivan claims to have chased a U.S. sub from their northern waters. Next week they'll claim one of their subs has gone missing [Unlikely]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man goes on crime spree involving four homes, a hit and run crash, attempted robbery of a pizza place and assault of a convenience store clerk. The kicker? He apologized to neighbors for interrupting their night after he was arrested [Amusing]
[link] [6 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when you're trying to enjoy some illegal drugs and a city bus starts looking at you funny and a nearby stop sign challenges you to a duel? [Dumbass]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Manhattan district attorney's office subpoenas parody Twitter account, refuses to raise white flag [Dumbass]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I'm Saving Myself for Duct Tape
Sales rep: I swear, these people have no concept of the future. They're all, “I'm fine right now, whatever.” if they're all psychic, I wonder how so many of them keep going out of business.
Customer service rep: Psychics can't see things about themselves, they're too close to themselves.
Sales rep: I don't believe in psychics.
Customer service rep: I'm psychic.
Sales rep: Yeah, you're … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That’s a Promise from Us to You
Insurance salesman: Now, you can only die once, but you can become disabled many times.Florida [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
CSR: Today needs to be over. I’m so seriously ready to slit my wrists– The phone rings. CSR: Good afternoon. This is [Nelly], how can I help you? Oh…hi! How are you doing?…Oh, I’m great! Mm-hmm, yes, of course! I just have to pull up your previous order…Oh, really? Oh! Well, that’s okay!…No, really!…Oh, stop it! Ha, ha! Okay, well … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You, for Example, Should Forget It
Salesguy #1: …so she totally doesn’t mind sexual harassment.Salesguy #2: Really?Salesguy #1: Well, she does and she doesn’t. It depends on who’s doing it.105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Tear-Drinking Demons Are Surprisingly Thoughtful Colleagues
Receptionist: You know, this is not the first time you’ve offered to lick my eye.Assistant: I don’t doubt the validity of that statement.Hall of Justice
Sacramento, CaliforniaOverheard by: weeelll….hmm. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » All Year Round?
Client in high end salon to receptionist: I've got to ask you: how do you keep such a fabulous year-round tan?Receptionist, giving blank stare: I'm half black.Bellevue, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Oh, You Worked for the Government?
Male employee: I had an uncomfortable experience with someone putting something in my butt.Louisville, Kentucky [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A brave journalist infiltrates the most terrifying place on earth: Brony-con [Scary]
[link] [140 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man selling Harrier for $1.5 Million, or 7 Million Pepsi points [Cool]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man in a pinch [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Archive
26 Apr 2024 25 Apr 2024 24 Apr 2024 23 Apr 2024 22 Apr 2024 21 Apr 2024 20 Apr 2024 19 Apr 2024 18 Apr 2024 17 Apr 2024 16 Apr 2024 15 Apr 2024 14 Apr 2024 13 Apr 2024 12 Apr 2024 11 Apr 2024 10 Apr 2024 09 Apr 2024 08 Apr 2024 07 Apr 2024 06 Apr 2024 05 Apr 2024 04 Apr 2024 03 Apr 2024 02 Apr 2024 01 Apr 2024 31 Mar 2024 30 Mar 2024 29 Mar 2024 28 Mar 2024 27 Mar 2024 26 Mar 2024
0 responses so far ↓
There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.
You must log in to post a comment.