Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why Rich Babies Get Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Lady #1: I’m very tired. I went out last night.Lady #2: Oh, did you have a lot to drink?Lady #1: Of course not, I’m pregnant.Lady #2: It’s pretty bad to drink when you’re pregnant.Lady #1: Yeah, it’s so expensive, and you’ve gotta save money to buy baby stuff.Goulbourn Street
Sydney, Australia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Another Texan Reveals That He’s Not a Steer
Co-worker, complaining about his chapped lips: These chapped lips really suck big dick.The Arboretum
Austin, TexasOverheard by: El Gato [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Happy 70th birthday, Smokey Bear. Hey, did you ever notice that he and Sam Elliott are never in the same room? [Cool]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rogeting is the with it neoteric habitude whereas docents to appropriate. Sinister buttocks [Silly]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Yes, for the paltry sum of three quarters of a billion dollars you can own the largest contiguous ranch in the US complete with 510,000-acres and all that comes with it [Interesting]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brazil is having a competition to see who has the best butt and there is more text in the headline monkey dishwasher fish purple. [Not safe for work. Butts. There are butts.] [Hero]
[link] [119 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Normally a kid running a lemonade stand makes money for himself. This 8-year-old boy does it for charity and local bakeries are donating things for him to sell [Sappy]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We are going to run out of things to ban on airplanes-but the supply of brain-dead security gropers is probably unlimited [Scary]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this loiterer [Photoshop]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » muffins says FML
Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » On a hot August day in 1935 an unspeakable evil broke loose, and millions of lives would never be the same [Interesting]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida woman detained at the airport after her cups runneth over [Florida]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why every snowflake gets a trophy: "do we want to bring home the cruel reality that somebody's better than somebody else?" [Interesting]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A NYPD union rep is telling officers to go by the book as a means of slowing down work in protest of the oppression of officers who used a chokehold that is expressly forbidden by the rule book [Ironic]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Police arrest a naked man on a park bench. News: He's covered in baby oil watching porn. Fark: And leaves behind an outline of his body in oil on the bench [Amusing]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh wait, you're serious [Obvious]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Guy Fieri ruins everything [Obvious]
[link] [282 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bombing ISIS is like saying "bring it on" [PSA]
[link] [180 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman gets a $55,000 payout for sitting in a chair that collapsed [Florida]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The Saluda Grade
The Saluda Grade is the steepest section of railroad in the USA. There have been numerous horrific tragedies involving runaway trains here. But this propaganda-cum-safety video from Southern Railway makes the whole affair seem a candidate for our boredom contest. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Antisemitism is on the rise in Europe, reaching almost Hitlerian levels, and officials said they did not see this coming [Scary]
[link] [307 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It takes a peculiar form of logic to cut pay steadily and then be shocked that fewer people want to do the job [Obvious]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML [Link]
FMyLife » I already have one, thanks says FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Now that the Great Recession is comfortably in the rear view mirror, it's time to bring back the mighty SUV [Spiffy]
[link] [199 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just how stuck is a woodchuck stuck if a woodchuck could get stuck? [Amusing]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pangolins are the world's most illegally smuggled mammal because they're as cute as they are tasty [Sad]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What: "Investigators refused to say how the girl died or when…" The: "…but said that whoever killed her was likely…" Fark: "…'covered in mud' at some point over the weekend" [Strange]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Comic-Con Stays Safe…But Filled With Weapons
San Diego Comic-Con wrapped up recently, and it left us with plenty of memories. But one thing I never stopped to consider: How does the convention floor remain a safe place, when there are cosplayers wandering around with giant guns and swords? The New York Times made a short video to explain: For some fun scenes of mock violence at … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Meeting with HR
VP #1: I look forward to working with you and [Justin].
VP #2: Yes. Let’s do a threesome! It’ll be really fun! 800 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, Minnesota [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Like If They Smoke a Lot of Pot
Senior partner: What are you listening to? That’s some funky music.Paralegal: Phish.Senior partner: Oooh, Phish — I’ve heard of them but never heard them. Wow, they have a great sound.Paralegal: Yeah, I really like them.Senior partner, with fixed gaze: When you know someone listens to funky music, that can really tell you a lot about a person.Washington, DC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » From the Bestselling I'm Okay, You're Karaoke
never drink with a brit. Especially if you are asian.Boston, Ma [Link]
Overheard In The Office » They Could, but They Don’t Have To
Blonde #1: I think Starbucks made the fire alarm go off in our building so that everyone from our building would go there and get a coffee.Blonde #2: Oh my god, can they do that?West 6th Street
Cleveland, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Pretty Much His Deal With God, Too
Boss: I’m pretty much unavailable all afternoon since I have to go to the funeral, but if you really need me, you can call me between the church and the cemetary.Boston, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …To Thank It for Going Down on Me.
Tech support, ending the conversation: I'm definitely gonna come on your machine tonight.Melville, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Mr. Slurpee Never Loses His Cool
Female worker bee: If I get too slurpy, just tell me.Male worker bee: Oh, don't worry, they put up with me all day long.Middleborough, MassachusettsOverheard by: Mikey [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Got any plans for tomorrow? Scrap 'em – we're all going to die in a biblical supermoon deluge and ALL CAPS headlines [Asinine]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I like my women how I like my cars; fast and high maintenance… How about you? [Amusing]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ISIS wants to "raise flag of Islam over the White House." Um, guys, you're 6 years too late [Asinine]
[link] [210 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Too Late– I Already Emailed You the Video.
Older worker lady in lunch room: You know those hula hoops have a coating on them that makes them very slippery. They slip off your clothes and you can't keep them going. So, unless you're nude…Remainder of lunch room: Too much information!Boston, Massachusetts [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these reservoir checker-outers [Photoshop]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you can't get laid on one of these beaches there's really no hope for you [Spiffy]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man leaves $160,000 to care for homeless cats. That's gonna buy a lotta gooshy food on Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [706 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Though I Could Also Picture David Duchovny Saying It
New partner, opening mail: Oh, it's my gold card. Wonder what's the difference between this and a regular Amex.Smart-ass IT guy: Well, it creates a gravitational anomaly when you whip it out in high-end restaurants, causing all the girls' panties to hit the floor.New partner: I could have asked a thousand people that question, only you would have given that answer.Winnipeg … [Link]
Weird Universe » The Car of 1980
This is what Jack Charipar, director of Plymouth's product-planning team, imagined in 1961 that cars would look like in 1980. Source: Newsweek – Jan 23, 1961.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » First tropical storm in 22 years makes landfall on Hawaii. Damage to plastic lawn chairs estimated in tenths of cents [Scary]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman who received money after lying about her and her son both having cancer said it was a misunderstanding and she "jumped to conclusions" but NEVER asked anyone for money. Except when she did [Unlikely]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’m Just Here for the Drinking
Student: Can I get a list of people who write theses?Receptionist: You mean, the list of typists?Student: No, I want the list of people who’ll write my thesis for me.California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No state would ever think of serving alcohol at a gun show, right? Texas: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED [Scary]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Men say "UH," women say "UM," and other small verbal cues that reveal a lot about one's personality [Interesting]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Own this $3 million land yacht and be the envy of… no one [Stupid]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » GM would like everyone driving a GM vehicle to know that they should probably park it outside from now on so it doesn't catch your house on fire [Followup]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teen Marijuana use drops in Colorado after legalization. "It's something that kids are seeing adults use all over the place. It just doesn't seem as cool to kids anymore" [Amusing]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Posting a rap to Sound Cloud about murdering someone two days after you murdered them is probably not the best idea, but damn it will give you street cred. (Criminals rapping about crimes trifecta in play) [Fail]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man who goes by the nickname "Grandpa Woodstock" arrested on multiple drug charges. With mugshot that looks exactly as a Grandpa Woodstock should [Obvious]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » suspended says FML
Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » King of the Jungle
Image: Wikimedia Commons The mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska, is a cat named Stubbs. Local merchant Lauri Stec discovered him in her parking lot in 1997 and dubbed him Stubbs because he lacked a tail; he was named honorary mayor of the 900-resident town shortly afterward, and Stec’s general store is now his mayoral office. “All throughout the day I have to … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What it's like to be a doctor at a Supermax facility. Spoiler alert: It's f*cking terrifying [Scary]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » FUCK YOU says FML
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's only right that we let Customs enforce common-sense regulations against traveling with bagpipes, because if we just let pipers travel at their leisure it'll be total Somalia around here – or worse yet, Edinburgh [Dumbass]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One hundred twenty pound snake accused of eating neighborhood cats [Florida]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman at yoga studio spots her husband going into the happy ending massage parlor across the street. Hilarity ensues [Amusing]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » lonethong15 says FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Father teaches sons lessons about reality of war by a) asking them to read books about the world wars, b) watching war documentaries together with them, c) taking them on a trip to the Israel and Palestine warzone [Dumbass]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ghost, habanero, and jalapeno gummies are now a reality [Sick]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Your waiter wants you to know that your habit of using your cellphone while he's trying to take your order is almost as annoying as the fact that you're a cheapskate who tips under twenty percent [Obvious]
[link] [239 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One of the burglary suspects appears to be very confused about what is happening to him [Followup]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dad doesn't want his daughter dating some guy so he shoots the man dating his daughter and attempts to kill the witness sitting on the porch too. Did I mention the mother helping to cover it up and that mom and dad are cops? [Scary]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » First giant jellyfish spotted in Adriatic since the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor [Cool]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Looks like John Hinckley Jr. may be in for some more courtroom time after Reagan press secretary James Brady's death was ruled a homicide [Interesting]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: When using your dad's credit card to buy something and then signing the receipt, make sure to use his actual name, not simply sign the word "Dad" [Amusing]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Which states are the most stoned? Hint: probably not the ones you think (warning: slide show) [Spiffy]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's all fun and games 'til you get caught using a pen camera to look up girls' skirts at a Publix grocery store [Florida]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Police taser young person. Fark: An 8-year-old girl [Misc]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As Ebola spreads in Lagos, President Goodluck Jonathan contemplates shutting down everything, changing name [Scary]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nebraska chicken thief sends KFC $2 and a letter of apology [Cool]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The FCC wants YOUR input on the ATT/DirectTV & Comcast/TWC mergers. Stop laughing, they're serious and won't approve the deal unless you OK it. Also, the National Weather Service would like your input on Sunday's scheduled thunderstor
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » From the gaming laboratory at CERN, here is Particle Clicker. It's a game like Cookie Clicker but teaches you about about particle physics. In related news, CERN has a gaming lab [Cool]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Round 2: ISIS vehicle convoys vs. laser-guided bombs [Followup]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man tries to reenact Grand Theft Auto: Seattle in real life, with obvious consequences [Fail]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Postcard Locations, Then and Now
The images on your postcards might get a little faded over time, but unless you attended Hogwarts, they generally don't change. The real life inspiration is not so inert. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Women gets 18 months in jail for being loud neighbor [Dumbass]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Fanged Facts About Heterodontosaurus
Wikimedia Commons Heterodontosaurus was a weird little animal—one that has been surprising scientists since its discovery in 1962. Prepare to be perplexed. 1. Its Dentition Was Complicated (By Reptile Standards). Imagine having a mouth filled with nothing but bicuspids. If you’re reading this sentence, we’re assuming you’re a mammal. And, like most mammals, your mouth contains several types of teeth. … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Strawberry Cancer
Staffer: Oh, great! The water bottles are in!Executive, opening bottle and sniffing it: It smells like cancer.38th Street and 8th Avenue
New York, New YorkOverheard by: Sarah [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Blackmail? That Pretty Legal, Also?
Lawyer: Put your John Hancock on these documents, please.Daughter: You sure this is legal? I mean, with me being your kid and all?Lawyer: It is very legal. Far more legal than any of the drugs you have experimented with on my credit card.Broad Street
Louisville, Georgia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Think We All Remember What Happened at the Margarita Potato-Sack Race Last Year
Presenter: The activity we're going to do is called “me in a bag.” Has anyone ever done “me in a bag”? Who's done “me in a bag”? Greenwood Village, Colorado [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Which We'll Need to Discuss on Google Chat
Coworker to next cubicle: I'm sending you an e-mail.Woburn, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why Do You Think It Overheated in the First Place?
Girl, shutting down printer: I'm gonna turn you off.Creepster: Negative.Costa Mesa, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But It Turns Out I Was Wrong
Receptionist on phone in earshot of a client: She said that she told her manager, ‘I hate my fucking job.’ I told her that it was completely inappropriate to say ‘fuck’ at work.Austin, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » They Brought Popcorn to the Sexual Harassment Video, and Hooted
Male worker to another: Damn, look at that girl's ass on MySpace!Female worker: Could you guys do this somewhere else?Male worker: Nope, you see, this office is just like the guys' locker room and you just happen to be working here.Washington, DC [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Acute psychological stress promotes skin healing, so the next time you get a cut or scratch you may want to visit the politics tab [Interesting]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this modern chariot [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
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