Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Soon-to-fired NJ cop tells man who complains that the officer is violating his rights :"Obama has decimated the friggin' constitution, so I don't give a damn. Because if he doesn't follow the Constitution we don't have to."- O
[link] [186 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A couple of our boys will finally be laid to rest after returning home from the war. WWII, that is [Sad]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Management Meeting
Co-worker #1: What is our Vision Statement?
Co-worker #2: It says here, “Our Vision is to always be true to our Vision.” 101 South Webster Street
Madison, Wisconsin [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ISIS acquires weapon of mass hydration [Scary]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 69-year-old Massachusetts man busted for blowing leaves in the nude while several cars slowed down to take pictures. If anyone finds those pics, please don't post here [Asinine]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The good citizens of Michigan want to to know, no matter how bad Detroit is, they are still better than Florida [Followup]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Dancing King says FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Convenient: stocking up on food and water to be ready for an earthquake and two hurricanes at the same time [Scary]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Highlights of today's edition of "Fun with rejected California vanity plates" include PISTOPH, NOT SEE, IH8 DMV [Fail]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Report: Middle Class Running Dangerously Low On Things To Be Squeezed Out Of
WASHINGTON—An alarming report released Thursday by researchers at the Economic Policy Institute confirmed that, following a generation of dwindling economic opportunities and stagnant wages, the American middle class is now running dangerously low o… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas looking to open Loving Canal by allowing radioactive waste to be dumped in their county [Scary]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: China Bans Government Use Of Apple Products
Due to fears of espionage posed by revelations from Edward Snowden, the Chinese government has banned its ministries and federal agencies from buying or using 10 Apple products, including the iPad and MacBook, over concerns that the U.S. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Do you have a go-to chef/cookbook/website you often turn to as a favorite source for recipes, cooking methods, preparation tips, etc? Share the wealth of knowledge and give your fellow Farkers a new lease on cooking [Interesting]
[link] [207 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Give the Monkey Credit
Monkeying Around with Photography Wikipedia has responded back to a photographer’s complaint by ruling that a monkey actually took his most famous photograph. * Have You Ever Wanted to Try Stand-up Comedy? Are you too afraid to take the leap? Now you can see what it’s like to be a flailing comic by playing this video game. * Lil’ Walter … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Missile strike directly in front of vehicle creates serious skid marks (w/video) [Scary]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Latest Online Security Breach Forces Mom To Change Post-It
Latest Online Security Breach Forces Mom To Change Post-It 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ric Romero reports: 1c@n''t-rememberTh1$-p@$word [Obvious]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A list for you, ladies: The top five reasons you should have sex every night. Oh, wait. With your husband. The top five reasons you should have sex *with your husband* every night. God damnit, forget I said anything (Not safe for work image on articl
[link] [235 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Nazca lines appear. THIS MEANS SOMETHING [Interesting]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Does What He Convinced Himself He Loves For A Living
MILWAUKEE—Explaining with a deep sense of self-delusion that his job provides a “perfect outlet” for both his creative and analytic sides, BTX Communications employee Matthew Krueger confirmed to reporters Thursday that he does exactly w… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Create the "official" flag of the Planet Earth [Photoshop]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Survey: Americans Watching Better Sex Than Ever
LOS ANGELES—Reflecting a significant shift in societal attitudes and behaviors, a survey completed this week by researchers at the University of Southern California revealed that American adults are watching far better sex than ever before. The init… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The good news Britain is that your invasion of giant barrel jellyfish hasn't been that bad. The bad news is lethal Portuguese Man-of-War jellyfish are invading because of tropical storm Bertha [Scary]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas teen faces life in prison for making pot brownies [Followup]
[link] [224 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Delta Launches Alumni Magazine For People Who Flew Airline Previously
ATLANTA—In an effort to foster lifelong connections with past fliers and provide them with updates on the lives of their old cabinmates, Delta Air Lines announced Thursday the launch of Flown, an alumni magazine for its former passengers. Pub… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » In a historic first, two members of the brutal Khmer Rouge regime have been tried for crimes against humanity and sentenced to life imprisonment, which, given the age of the defendants probably means about six months or so [Followup]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » MOVIE PRODUCER: "I've got it–a heist movie, where the heroes dress up as Indian chiefs with headdresses to steal twenty tons of copper." WRITER: "That's the stupidest idea I've heard, no one's going to believe that could
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
redamancy
n. the act of loving in return Zelda to Scott Fitzgerald, spring 1919 or 1920: I look down the tracks and see you coming – and out of every haze & mist your darling rumpled trousers are hurrying to me – Without you, dearest dearest I couldn’t see or hear or feel or think – or live – I … [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: A Look Back At Greg Oden's Career
A Look Back At Greg Oden's Career 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Terrifying Medical Treatments from 1900 and Their Safer Modern Versions
Even as medicine was rapidly improving, these downright scary or dangerous treatments were still lingering. [Link]
Mental Floss » 21 Slang Terms From World War I
One of the subtlest and most surprising legacies of the First World War is its effect on our language. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Students are given an assignment to bring in their favorite toys and talk about them. Since you're reading this, you have an idea what type of toy was brought and the school's reaction [Obvious]
[link] [294 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Landshark: Special Florida edition [Followup]
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The Onion » Statshot: Why Are We Getting Our Tattoo Removed?
Why Are We Getting Our Tattoo Removed? 
[Link]
The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Hey bro, are you a flower?
View [Link]
The Onion » Hispanics Expected To Become Majority Of U.S. Population By Middle Of Father-In-Law’s Rant
WASHINGTON—According to a Census Bureau report released Thursday, Hispanics are now projected to make up the majority of the U.S. 
[Link]
The Onion » Nation’s Prospective College Applicants Go Straight To Princeton Review’s ‘Best College Radio Station’ Rankings
NATICK, MA—Saying that the ratings were influential in helping them make decisions about where to pursue higher education, prospective college applicants across the country reportedly rushed online this week to consult the Princeton Review’s 2… 
[Link]
The Onion » Tiger Woods Developing Swing That Doesn’t Send Pain Shooting Through Every Inch Of Body
LOUISVILLE, KY—Aiming to fine-tune his mechanics after returning from a recent back surgery, golf star Tiger Woods told reporters at the PGA Championship Wednesday that he is currently working on building a new swing that doesn’t send waves of intense pain through every single inch of his body. 
[Link]
Weird Universe » Morph, the UK Gumby
I never knew before about Morph, the forerunner of Wallace & Gromit. On first glance, he seems less weird and manic than either Gumby or W&G. [Link]
FMyLife » failallday says FML
Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Who owns the selfie?
1) Some monkey took a 'selfie' with a professional photographer's equipment.
2) Wikipedia used the image.
3) The photographer claimed copyright & brought a £10,000 suit.
Where do you stand on this? Who has the rights to the image?
[Link]
The Onion » American Voices: ‘Pheromone Parties’ Help Singles Find Dates By Sniffing Each Other
More singles are taking part in an alternative dating trend called “pheromone parties,” in which participants sleep in the same T-shirts for three nights, put them in numbered plastic bags, and bring them to parties where guests can sniff the … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » After her 5-year-old son was accidentally left on the school bus, mother raises holy hell, calls the sheriff's department, and alerts the media about the incident. But she's still cool with him continuing to take the school bus [Strange]
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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this copyright issue [Photoshop]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » MoMoneyMoProblems says FML
Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's a slideshow of rejected Washington State vanity plates. Apparently, Washington doesn't like Pork, Poon, Pussycats, or Juggalos [Silly]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russian poll put Putin's popularity level at 87%. Poll on grocery store selections yet to be conducted [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » The number you have reached…nine…one…one… is out of service. Please check the number before dialing again [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Cafe faces heat for adding 'minimum wage fee' [Misc]
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Fark.com RSS » Next time some inbred yokel starts talking to you about the Confederate flag being a symbol of heritage, not hate, ask him why the Germans don't use Nazi swastika flags to honor their dead from World War II [Obvious]
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Mental Floss » Brain Game: Thu for Thursday
Here's today's mentalfloss.com Think Thursday Brain Game. Can you come up with an answer? Name an English word of 7 letters or more
that begins with the letter sequence "THU." Here are some possible ANSWERS.
[Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do Stop Signs Have Eight Sides?
This story originally appeared in the July 2014 issue of mental_floss magazine. Subscribe to our print edition here, and our iPad edition here. At the turn of the 20th century, American roads were chaos. Drivers didn’t need a license, lane lines didn’t exist, and stop signs hadn’t yet been invented. When the first official stop sign did appear in Detroit, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Electric traffic light turns 100 years, which is now the same amount of time it takes to make it down 7th Avenue on a Friday afternoon [Interesting]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man fined after cemetery antics; yes, alcohol was involved. "He was throwing himself backwards, waving his arms about and going 'wooooooo'. I'm assuming he was pretending to be a ghost" [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » Google remove Bomb Gaza game from Play Store because some people had a problem with that [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » If you think soccer moms get angry and bring the crazy on wait until you get a load of skater moms [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » "The Naked Unicyclist" leaves this world as he came into it, give or take a jeep on a bridge [Sad]
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Fark.com RSS » World's nicest and/or most naive and/or bravest woman answers door at midnight and allows two strangers to have some water and charge their cell phones. Later learns they were evading authorities after killing a border agent [Scary]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A petition for Weird Al Yankovic to perform at the Super Bowl now has over 30,000 signatures. Though to put that in perspective, a petition to be allowed to drink from the fire hose has over 17,000 signatures [Amusing]
[link] [157 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some people think it is cruel to strap iPads on tortoises, but Subby still would like to see it [Amusing]
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Mental Floss » 11 Unbelievable Moments from Cocaine’s Early Medical History
In 1900, cocaine wasn’t just a drug – it was the drug that could cure anything that ailed a patient. Here’s how it came to be Americans’ medicine of choice in the first decade of the 20th century. 1. The Eyes Have It Although cocaine would later be prescribed for scores of dubious reasons, its initial medical use was legitimate. … [Link]
Mental Floss » Laser vs. Balloons
Let's keep this simple. Here's a frickin' laser popping a hundred balloons. It's silly, dangerous, and a whole lot of fun. BEHOLD: Just to be clear, don’t try this at home. Or if you do, consult this safety guide so you don't blind yourself or others. See also: Cats, Rock Stars United in Hatred of Laser Pointers and How Lasers … [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: At What Cost?
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hoarder who fed up to 75 cats in his home dies and feeds them one last time [Sick]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well who wouldn't want to campaign nude in New York City? [Amusing]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The next threat to the middle class? Machines that will do their jobs better, more efficiently, and without pay [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » 88% of FoxNews.com readers support the right for people to carry guns in public…oh, sorry.. I meant MSNBC.com readers [Strange]
[link] [513 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » spitstopper says FML
Today, I stopped two little boys from spitting over a railing at the piano player two floors below in the department store I work at. Their mom complained to my boss about me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kenyan journalist who once offered Bill Clinton 40 goats for Chelsea's hand in marriage is trampled to death by an elephant — JUST LIKE VINCENT FOSTER [Unlikely]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bicycle chase [Photoshop]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never set your expectations too high [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Chris Hanson unlikely to get behind latest American Apparel back-to-school campaign. (Slightly Not safe for work) [Obvious]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Name That List, #25
What is this a list of? The answer is below in extended.
Kicked in the head by a horse Imaginary female trouble Laziness Masturbation for 30 years Novel reading Over study of religion Bad whiskey Deranged masturbation Egotism Fighting fire Vicious vices Snuff eating for 2 years Gathering in the head Hard study [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The good news: we can cure Hepatitis-C with only 84 pills. The bad news: each pill is $84,000. The tragedy: that's enough to power Total Fark for 1,400 years [Sad]
[link] [210 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » At What Cost?
[Link]
FMyLife » TzarErik says FML
Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML [Link]
FMyLife » whymyroomthough says FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh, you're a Jihadi with Isis? That's cool. I used to Jihad with them, too, back before they got so mainstream. I'm running with a more radical group now, you probably haven't heard of them [Dumbass]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The 10 friendliest cities in America are out, and the South reigns supreme. So long as you're not gay, a minority, anti-war, pro-marijuana legalization, an atheist or even marginally sane when it comes to gun rights, head on down [Interesting]
[link] [305 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » chynna says FML
Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML [Link]
FMyLife » poolfail says FML
Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » STOP
When John Barrymore was on his deathbed in 1942, he received a wire from W.C. Fields. It said YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There is still one town where children have paper routes, and of course it's in Iowa [Spiffy]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Okay people it's time to confess that one meal you make when you had a shiatty day or you're really drunk or you did really well working out all week, etc. How do you do it up meal wise? Subby likes cheeseburger subs and guacamole [Survey]
[link] [288 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Bill Nye Emails the White House
BuzzFeed obtained Bill Nye’s emails with the White House through a FOIA request. And now you can know what the Science Guy calls the Commander in Chief. * Why does "red old house" sound so funny if it means the same thing as "old red house"? Slate looks at the rules of adjective ordering. * Here's an 1873 Japanese book … [Link]
Mental Floss » Does One Bad Apple Really Spoil the Whole Bunch?
It happens with people. Does it actually happen with fruit? [Link]
Mental Floss » How to Hike the Appalachian Trail in Just Five Months
Stretching from Georgia to Maine, the Appalachian Trail weaves through 14 states. It can take some hikers up to one year to traverse all 2,168 miles, but with these tips, you can conquer hiking’s ultimate adventure in just five months. 1. Start Saving Nearly 75 percent of hikers who start the trail will eventually call it quits. Often, their bodies … [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Facts About 'Half Baked'
You may have known these facts at one point, but it’s easy to see how the stoner classic could make viewers a little forgetful. 1. The script was a team effort. Half Baked was written by star Dave Chappelle and his writing partner Neal Brennan. The duo would go on to co-create the legendary series Chappelle’s Show for Comedy Central … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 483: "Build it and They Will Come". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CDC raises Ebola outbreak alert to Level One. Everybody panic. No, seriously. EVERYBODY PANIC [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Skeptic group doubts ebola really exists. In their defense, they're skeptics, doubting is kinda their thing [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » You know you're a hoarder when it takes 3 years to find all the dead family members in your home [Sad]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Train commuters get together and push aside a train to free a passenger who didn't mind the gap [Cool]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No Lady, the Lego store at the mall is not there to babysit your little snowflake [Dumbass]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'Half Baked'
You may have known these facts at one point, but it’s easy to see how the stoner classic could make viewers a little forgetful. 1. The script was a team effort. Half Baked was written by star Dave Chappelle and his writing partner Neal Brennan. The duo would go on to co-create the legendary series Chappelle’s Show for Comedy Central … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Police called when woman found drunk and pantless. Fark: On her first day as a high school teacher. (With hot mug-shot goodness) [Dumbass]
[link] [160 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man buys ALL the pies from a Burger King to spite a bratty kid. "You'll get nothing and like it" [Hero]
[link] [195 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Planet of The Apes. New Hotness: Planet of the Bears. I, for one, welcome our new bear overlords [Interesting]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The answer to the burning question about foreskins: to keep or not to keep. Snip it at birth — the cells can produce 4 acres of human transplant skin and more [Interesting]
[link] [167 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh so what, you mean people get disgusted for seeing a huge moth swimming inside their Pepsi drink at the local KFC? Meh [Sick]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Vladimir Putin bans the import of all food from the US and all fruits and vegetables from the EU. It's not as if Russia imports 40% of its food to feed its people, right, Vlad? …Vlad? [Dumbass]
[link] [303 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wikipedia and photographer battle over who owns the copyrights to a monkey selfie. I submitted this because I really like the words "monkey selfie" [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » "The owner was in the back seat, wearing nothing but a straw hat and a set of false teeth that had been skillfully attached to his private parts" [Spiffy]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this super high-tech sound system [Photoshop]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
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