Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » CIA admits its agents improperly searched Senate computers. Don't worry, though, they'd never illegally monitor ordinary civilians, that would be wrong [Asinine]
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Fark.com RSS » What's the only thing more dangerous than using a cell phone while driving? Using two [Dumbass]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sideshow Bob arrested for trying to burn down his ex-girlfriend's house [Dumbass]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sex offender inmate claims he's being punished for watching HBO, says he's not some filthy Lannister [Interesting]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Black and White
Tim Krabbé calls this “one of the funniest chess problems I ever saw.” Its composer, M. Kirtley, won first prize with it in a Problemist tourney in 1986. It’s a selfmate in 8, which means that White must force Black to checkmate him 8 moves, despite Black’s best efforts to avoid doing so. The solution is a single line — … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Filming Angers Bird Experts
After production on Stars Wars: Episode VII moved to a remote island off the coast of Ireland, ornithologists and wildlife conservationists expressed anger at J.J. 
[Link]
The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Today, illustrated.
View [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Silly Sharks to Prepare You for Shark Week
The Discovery Channel held their first Shark Week promotion in 1987. In the 27 years since then, the seemingly educational series of programming has “jumped the shark,” so to speak, and slid into entertainment, and even more recently, into cryptozoology. This year’s Shark Week will begin Sunday, August 10. To get you ready for this year's Shark Week, here are … [Link]
Mental Floss » The Magical Origins of Harry Potter Words
Whether you're a wizard, squib, or just plain muggle, you're probably celebrating the Chosen One's birthday today. And what better way to do it than by examining the origins of some of the wonderful words J.K. Rowling used to create the world of the Boy Who Lived? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Your new global warming term: 'nuisance flooding' from high tides – which has increased 325 percent in the city of Norfolk. Surf's up in your backyard [Interesting]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know who's not on American paper dollars? Women. Specifically, Kim Kardashian [Spiffy]
[link] [122 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Report Finds Children Of Parents Often Become Parents Themselves
COLUMBIA, MO—Confirming conventional wisdom on the topic, a report published this week by researchers at the University of Missouri determined that children of parents in many cases go on to one day become parents themselves. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The 75th Annual DragonCon Fark Party – Saturday, August 30, 1pm at Big Kahuna, Atlanta, GA [FarkParty]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Father of the year candidate takes his son to the zoo and records it for memories as he lets him climb over a safety barrier to pet a tiger. Since this is Fark you know what happened next [Fail]
[link] [173 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: DIY Backyard Roller Coaster
Backyard Amusement So you had a Slip N’ SLide in your backyard as a kid? Maybe a trampoline? This guy laughs at you. He built a roller coaster in his. * No! Bad Ketchup Robot. You definitely deserve to be included in this list of 13 inventions we never needed. * Heading In The beloved Broadway musical Into the Woods … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Somehow, the global economy is destroying the demand for electricity. Which is ironic, considering we're all reading this on a computer, tablet, or smartphone powered by said electricity [Strange]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Random act of… flamingos [Strange]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When your teacher tells you to keep your arms inside the bus, you LISTEN [Sad]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dallas/Fort Worth ranks third on list of top tourism destinations in the U.S. Apparently, tourists are enthralled with Dealey Plaza, the Stockyards, and miles and miles and miles of homogenous urban sprawl [Obvious]
[link] [130 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NYC Back to school special August 21 at 7PM [FarkParty]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Time to break out the steak prep to show off the goods. When it's time to do it up, how do you make a steak? Difficulty: Not a strip, T-bone, or ribeye [Interesting]
[link] [152 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Experts Warn Situation In Gaza Will Get Worse Before It Gets Much Worse
GAZA CITY—Following three weeks of escalating bloodshed throughout the Gaza Strip, experts on the conflict warned Thursday that it will only get worse before it gets far worse. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Rare three-tusked walrus discovered. Alaska: and immediately eaten by locals [Amusing]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this explosive reeinactment [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Times the Golden Girls Talked It Out Over Cheesecake
It's been said that over the course of the series, the Golden Girls ladies ate more than 100 cheesecakes. [Link]
The Onion » Maybelline Introduces New Ideal-Woman Rubber Mask To Use In Place Of Makeup
NEW YORK—Touting it as their most stylish and advanced beauty product to date, officials from global cosmetics brand Maybelline unveiled Thursday the Ideal-Woman Rubber Mask, a flexible facial covering that can be worn over the head in lieu of makeu… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Toothmarks gave rogue dentist away [Dumbass]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Report: All Things Aside, American Flag Still Looks Pretty Good Majestically Billowing In Wind
WILLIAMSBURG, VA—Noting how striking its bold colors appear framed against the blue of the daytime sky, a report published Thursday by the College of William & Mary concluded that, all things aside, the American flag still looks pretty amazing w… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nursing home resident suing police for taking her hostage during a training exercise and failing to mention it was a training exercise [Interesting]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Boxing Legend Sugar Ray Robinson Dance with Gene Kelly
Sugar Ray Robinson was one of the greatest fighters to ever slip on boxing gloves. He owned the welterweight title from 1946 to 1951, and in the 1950s he boasted the title of Middleweight Champion of the World five times. According to Ron Flatter at ESPN, “At his peak, his record was 128-1-2.” Oh, and he was also a tap … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The rapist sentenced to 7 to 14 years in prison [Followup]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Statshot: Why Are We Cutting Our Trip Short?
Why Are We Cutting Our Trip Short? 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Surprising almost no one, almost every fact the federal government relies upon to argue against legalizing marijuana is completely wrong. What the hell are they smoking? [Obvious]
[link] [215 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Air passenger demands parachute and cigarettes before attacking cabin crew with prosthetic leg. Yes, drink was involved officer [Strange]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Psychology Comes To Halt As Weary Researchers Say The Mind Cannot Possibly Study Itself
NEW YORK—The field of psychology was brought to an immediate halt this week as disillusioned and weary practitioners of the discipline reportedly concluded that the mind could never possibly hope to study itself. Abandoning more than a century of cl… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man dies after crashing his car into a bee-infested house, David Spade seen running from the scene [Interesting]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Your Dog Has Something to Tell You
Step away from the dog whisperer. Canine-cognition scientist Alexandra Horowitz knows what your dog is thinking. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For £330, your ass can be just as pretty as your face (Some images might be Not safe for work) [Repeat]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
The Onion » GlaxoSmithKline Releases New Drug To Treat People Who Just Feel Sort Of Weird Sometimes
LONDON—In an effort to alleviate the vague, passing sensation of restlessness and unease that inexplicably afflicts thousands of people each day, pharmaceutical manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline released a new drug Wednesday specially formulated to treat… 
[Link]
FMyLife » jogginglikeitsmyjob says FML
Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Judge tells world's worst pot grower to find a job he's better at than the drug trade: "I think you should seriously consider taking up another occupation because you are not very good at this one" [Amusing]
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The Onion » New Study Finds Running For 20 Minutes Each Day Could Add Years Of Soreness To Life
EAST LANSING, MI—According to a study released Wednesday by doctors at Michigan State University, running for 20 minutes every day was found to be effective in adding several years of soreness to people’s lives. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Between 2009 and 2011, armed IRS agents fired their guns accidentally more often than they fired their guns on purpose [Fail]
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FMyLife » lostintdot says FML
Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sony selling so many PS4s that if you slipped XBox One sales into the figures, it would look like an accounting error [Interesting]
[link] [252 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In a way, ISIS has solved Iraq's constitutional crisis [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Liberian Official: We can't control the Ebola outbreak so….EVERYBODY PANIC [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » ♫Aruba, Jamaica oooh I wanna take you, to Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go, oooh I wanna take you down to Roofie Island♫ [Scary]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Cowabunga! 10 Vintage Pictures of People Surfing
Surfing is an ancient sport with an uncertain history. Some believe it was originated by Polynesian fishermen who rode wooden boards to get to the shore. Ancient Hawaiians referred to the act as "wave-sliding" and relied on Kahunas, or priests, to appease the ocean and yield choice waves. The boards were status symbols, and the bigger the board, the higher … [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Ordinal People
Here's today's mentalfloss.com "Throwback" Think Thursday Brain Game, from about four years ago: Cardinal numbers are counting numbers; 1, 2, 3, and so on. Ordinal numbers, on the other hand, represent an order; 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc. With this in mind, here's today's Brain Game. And a word of caution: if you answer too quickly, you'll probably answer incorrectly! Good luck: … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists just can't admit giant ice worms causing unexplained holes in Siberia [Obvious]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Latest use for drones? Flying contraband items over prison walls [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » For the woman in your life who has everything – vibrating Kegel exerciser/game controller [Amusing]
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FMyLife » fedUPwithPEOPLE says FML
Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh look – it's a gigantic sky penis (SFW) [Weird]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Men Think Women Who Listen To Them Are Sexier
According to a new study, men are more likely to be sexually attracted to women who listen to them and show “responsiveness” by being aware of what they are thinking and feeling, while female subjects were more likely to view responsiveness as… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sketch of man wanted for rape looks a lot like the 'sexy mug shot guy' in jail across the country [Stupid]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The internet lost one of its most famous, influential, and important dogs yesterday. RIP Benny the boxer" [Sad]
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Fark.com RSS » "Activists in South Korea have sent bundles of banned chocolate snacks across the border to the North via a series of helium balloons. Choco Pies are a South Korean chocolate snack filled with marshmallow, somewhat similar to Wagon Wheels" [I
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Fark.com RSS » The hottest tourism destination is Ukraine, where for £50 a day, you get a tour of the war zone including an armed guard for an escort and your very own body armor [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Rookie Infielder Still Learning Names Of Every Base
PHOENIX—Admitting that it has taken him a while to get fully oriented since being called up to the majors, rookie Arizona Diamondbacks shortstop Chris Owings confirmed Wednesday that he is still attempting to learn and memorize the names of all four… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Have we reached peak burger? [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Man starts sexual relationship with underage girl he met at church. Apparently, God had a problem with it [Florida]
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Fark.com RSS » $200k for an aborted beer run? I'll take it [Followup]
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Fark.com RSS » NYCHA is putting homeless families ahead of domestic violence victims on public housing waiting lists. It's probably too soon for another Tick reference, isn't it [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sex manual returned to library after 54 years … too late to save patron's marriage [Followup]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » “Editors Have Troubles”
Editors have troubles like less distinguished folk. One of these, who presides over the destinies of a western newspaper, is mourning the loss of two subscribers. One wrote asking how to raise his twins safely, while the other wanted to know how he might rid his orchard of grasshoppers. The answers went forward by mail, but by accident he put … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Your winning lottery numbers are 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 [Cool]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you find yourself trying to coax a barefoot burglar down from a tree, water and electronic cigarettes aren't going to work. You need beer and real cigarettes. This is a rule [Amusing]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police chief orders highway department to post illegal speed limit. Again [Dumbass]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today is National Orgasm Day. Have a good one [Amusing]
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When the only way the cops can describe how drunk you were when they arrested you is "off the Richter scale" because your blood-alcohol level was five times the legal limit, you may have a problem (mugshot) [Dumbass]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We've learned some more about the American suicide bomber. Dude was basically a whiny teenager from a gated community in Florida [Followup]
[link] [124 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dear Prudence: I told my mother I was joining a dating website. She was curious and started checking it out. She is now pretending to be a 28 year-old woman and is catfishing a guy. And I'm not getting a single message. What do I do? [Silly]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Are You Human?
Ze Frank has been making web videos since before web video was really a thing. In recent years, his work has been either incredibly serious or incredibly silly. So perhaps it's appropriate that his most recent TED Talk wavers between those poles—presented initially as comedy, Frank becomes increasingly serious, reflecting on the shared experience of being human, being flawed, and … [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Sharknado 2
[Link]
Weird Universe » Skin Furniture
Artist Gigi Barker has created "skin stools" and "skin chairs" that are designed to look, feel, and smell like human skin. Specifically, sitting on them is supposed to mimic the sensation of sitting on a "rather portly stomach." She achieves the smell part by impregnating the furniture with human pheromones and aftershave. More info at Wired.co.uk and at Barker's website. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dirty peeper [Photoshop]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Essentials to Pack for a Smarter Weekend Getaway
Slipping out of the office a little early on Friday for a weekend of fun? Load up with this essential gear, and you’re halfway to having the best weekend ever. [Link]
Mental Floss » Why is it Called Salt Water Taffy?
Reader mail! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Who knew Instagram geo-tagged every selfie you uploaded? OK, apart from this Russian Buk missile technician [Dumbass]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientist who helped discover Ebola: "I would sit next to an Ebola sufferer on the subway." Once [Scary]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Japanese Schoolgirl Parkour
Already showing five million+ views–but maybe as new to you as it was to me? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark y'all [Asinine]
[link] [215 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Sharknado 2
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man decides to commit suicide. News: And has the gun in his mouth, ready to pull the trigger when his girlfriend hits him in the head with the butt of another gun. Fark: Making him accidentally pull the trigger shooting her instead [Scary]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Uranium Glass Collectors
These People Love to Collect Radioactive Glass. Are They Nuts? Or are they just nuts about that greenish glow?
*
10 Unconventional Uses for GPS. It’s the new way to track someone -or some thing- without the trouble of following them.
*
A spearfisher off the coast of Florida encountered a 300- to 400-pound grouper. It bit off his flipper, then … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Republicans are creating difficulty in honoring a pinko Commie librul piece of scum–the Pope [Asinine]
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Fark.com RSS » This is why we cannot smoke nice things [Asinine]
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Fark.com RSS » 37 arrests in the last 30 days, 202 arrests since January, a man driving off with a officer hanging off his truck after shoplifting and another man dressed as a woman stealing 18 flat-screen TVs. Welcome to America's most dysfunctional Walmart [F
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How do you like to grill your steak? a) Cast iron skillet b) charcoal grill c) liquid hot "magma" [Interesting]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In case you ever wondered what 29 sumo wrestlers crammed into a tiny plane looked like [Scary]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Michigan woman gives zoo the middle finger [Dumbass]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » heatherfeather22 says FML
Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML [Link]
FMyLife » anon says FML
Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Family on a flight from Beijing to Detroit encourage their child to take a dump on his chair instead of in the bathroom [Sick]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Gear Trouble
A problem from the U.S.S.R. mathematical olympiad: You’re given 13 gears. Each weighs an integral number of grams. Any 12 of them can be placed on a pan balance, with 6 in each pan, so that the scale is in equilibrium. Prove that all the gears must be of equal weight. Click for solution … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Five years after giving laptops to school kids, Hoboken scraps the whole thing. Anybody want 10,000 used laptops? [Fail]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The summer wouldn't be complete without another person having a barbecue grill brush wire surgically removed from their throat [Scary]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: The Opening Shots of The Great War
Historyplace.com The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 135th installment in the series. July 29-30, 1914: Russia, Austria-Hungary Mobilize The final days of July 1914 saw Europe slide over the edge into the abyss of war, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 482: "Distant Horizons". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Every marriage has its speed bumps, such as a drunk husband [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Subby consumes twice as many fruits and vegetables as necessary, unless beer only counts as half a fruit, in which case he's right on target [Obvious]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How's my driving? Call 1-800-HATCHET [Scary]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The top Ebola doctor in Sierra Leone is now bloody useless [Hero]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Company that produces "pink slime" beef that was banned from the market after unfavorable media coverage discovers a way to solve all their problems: Sue the bejesus out of every journalist who wrote bad things about them [Obvious]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teacher fired from Utah language school because "homophone" promotes a gay agenda and aren't aloud to be taut [Asinine]
[link] [269 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Women finally realize that male strippers are gross [Obvious]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman spots the wedding dress given up for lost during Hurricane Sandy in her dry cleaner's window when the store finally reopens … in a new location [Unlikely]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Welcome to your Sharknado 2: The Second One discussion thread. You waited a year for some more chainsaws, angry flying sharks and bad menstrual jokes. Tune in to SyFy at 9 ET/8c and you will be richly rewarded [Amusing]
[link] [1512 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this young bicycle painter [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
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