John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » emmachristine says FML

Tuesday 22 July 23:59:28 UTC 2014

Today, I got into a fight with my sister, and she called me ugly. I pointed out that being twins, we're pretty much identical, and she basically just called herself ugly. She responded that everyone says she's the prettier one. My mom agreed. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 22 July 23:59:27 UTC 2014

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gunman barricades himself in adult novelty store. Hopefully this story has a happy ending [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 22:58:12 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As God as my witness, I thought hot tubs could fly [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 July 22:57:20 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good luck people in the UK, we're all counting on you in your plight against the giant deadly Asian hornets that have just landed with stingers 6mm long [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 22:52:01 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sick of the abysmally slow service in restaurants now? Comparisons of surveillance footage taken ten years ago, and now, shows the real reason. (Look in a mirror, you foodie twats) [Obvious]

Tuesday 22 July 22:45:05 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Imagination-Jarring Tips From Creative Geniuses

Tuesday 22 July 22:38:35 UTC 2014

Tactics practiced by big thinkers, artists, and innovators. [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Facts About the Death's-Head Hawkmoth

Tuesday 22 July 22:30:21 UTC 2014

Celebrate National Moth Week with a few facts about one of the most striking insects in the animal kingdom: The Death's-Head Hawkmoth. [Link]

The Onion » Area Man Knows Exactly Which Relatives Would Be Problem If He Ever Came Into Money

Tuesday 22 July 22:30:00 UTC 2014

METHUEN, MA—Saying that he can already picture them calling him up at all hours and feeding him their sad sack stories to try to win his sympathy, 37-year-old local man Shawn DeWeese told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which of his relative…
[Link]

FMyLife » d4rkxf0x says FML

Tuesday 22 July 21:52:50 UTC 2014

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even in Arizona they frown on you firing off your revolver into the hallway ceiling of your hotel at 3 a.m [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 21:45:27 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [31 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: New Toyota ‘Driver Easy Speak’ Feature Helps Parents Yell At Children In Back Of Car

Tuesday 22 July 21:30:00 UTC 2014

Toyota has announced that its new class of Sienna minivans will feature technology called “Driver Easy Speak,” which uses a microphone that amplifies the driver’s voice into speakers in the back seats of the car, so parents don’t h…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to buy a Pennsylvania bridge? How about 11 of them? [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 21:16:58 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's a "slap in the face" that other cities lure away Detroit's cops by doubling their pay [Sad]

Tuesday 22 July 21:07:15 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Virginia Lottery launches campaign to warn people about lottery-based scams. That aren't, you know, the lottery itself [Ironic]

Tuesday 22 July 20:58:02 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cemeteries would be a lot more cheery if people decorated them to look like a cross between 'It's A Small World' and Nana's bedroom [Cool]

Tuesday 22 July 20:55:33 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Man critically injured after being run over by street sweeper. Fark: He was the driver [Florida]

Tuesday 22 July 20:53:39 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Five Hobbies You Never Considered

Tuesday 22 July 20:46:39 UTC 2014

Everyone has a hobby, whether it’s something traditional, like collecting stamps, or modern, such as playing online games. I grow flowers and vegetables and collect antiques, and when I retire I will return to quilting. But there’s no limit to the different activities that people love and spend their free time doing. Here are a few hobbies that you don’t … [Link]

Mental Floss » This Sixth-Grade Science Fair Project Shocked Scientists

Tuesday 22 July 20:39:28 UTC 2014

Florida has a lionfish problem. This menacing creature, which comes decorated with venomous spines, is an invasive species threatening the state’s habitat and wildlife. Until now, researchers thought the fish only thrived in the salty waters off Florida’s coasts. But a 6th grader’s science fair project proves otherwise. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man gets three years in prison for making elderly woman pay $50 for getting her gutters cleaned. No, get your mind out of the gutter [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 20:32:07 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Tyler's Return

Tuesday 22 July 20:30:00 UTC 2014

Breaking the First Two Rules Everyone is talking about the upcoming Fight Club 2. * Being Past Its 15 Minutes… There’s an app for that. These are the nine most popular apps nobody uses anymore. * Lunar Learning These are nine things you likely didn’t know about the moon. * Playing at the Beach This beach has been constantly littered … [Link]

The Onion » Lifeguard Would Save Drowning Man, But Who Is He To Play God?

Tuesday 22 July 20:30:00 UTC 2014

BALTIMORE—Reluctant to transcend his station as a mere mortal and interfere with the vicissitudes of fortune, local lifeguard Blake Dunphy confided to reporters Tuesday that he found himself mentally shackled by the question of whether to save a swi…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when an unexpected guest just drops in and hangs out, stinking up the place? [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 20:12:49 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these silhouetted businesspeople [Photoshop]

Tuesday 22 July 20:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Mao Accidentally Turned Mangoes Into Divine Objects of the Cultural Revolution

Tuesday 22 July 20:00:00 UTC 2014

It all happened because Mao was a re-gifter. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United States puts Israel on its "No Fly" list [Obvious]

Tuesday 22 July 19:51:06 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brooklyn surrenders, apparently [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 19:36:46 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dude wants to buy my business with the $10,000 he carries in a sock. Seems legit to me [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 19:33:09 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Egypt steps up for humanity and proves once and for all that John Kerry is not a robot [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 July 19:15:20 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A flock of 400 quail, 21 pheasants, 19 partridges, seven chickens, two pigeons and a parrot sounds delicious until you realize they were being kept in one house [Sick]

Tuesday 22 July 19:10:13 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A fight between brothers lead one to the hospital with a cut to his neck and a punctured lung. Police say alcohol, and Florida Stupidity Syndrome, were factors in the fight [Florida]

Tuesday 22 July 19:05:51 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [8 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Roommates Still Don’t Know Each Other Well Enough To Not Speak

Tuesday 22 July 19:05:00 UTC 2014

NEW YORK—Seemingly compelled to participate in meaningless conversations whenever encountering each other in their apartment, local roommates Dylan Lewis and Sean Porter told reporters Tuesday they still do not know each other well enough to not spe…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Putin vows to strengthen Russian military to counter NATO and prevent 'external threats' from flying overhead in passenger jets, apparently [Followup]

Tuesday 22 July 18:40:10 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » All Right, Then

Tuesday 22 July 18:35:43 UTC 2014

Index entries in Hilaire Belloc’s The Aftermath: Or, Gleanings From a Busy Life, 1903: Abingdon, History of, by Lord Charles Gamber, see Pulping, p. 187.
Advertisement, Folly and Waste of, see Pulping, p. 187.
All Souls, College of, see Pulping, p. 187.
Cabs, Necessity of, to Modern Publisher, see Pulping, p. 187.
Cabs to Authors, Unwarrantable Luxury, see Pulping, p. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you release an animal into the wild, make sure it's in a place where it can find prey. Unless, of course it's a boa constrictor and you put it in a playground, that's just not cool [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 18:29:09 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two bandits clean out Atlantic City casino; tens of dollars reported stolen [Misc]

Tuesday 22 July 18:27:05 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » He's a 90 year old sex advice columnist. Come for the sarcasm. Leave after a happy ending [Amusing]

Tuesday 22 July 18:22:46 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkish Prime Minister Erdogan says tensions between the US and Turkey over Syria have gotten so bad that he no longer talks to President Obama on the phone, and if Obama keeps it up, he might just find himself "unfriended" on Facebook too [I

Tuesday 22 July 18:21:44 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Who Is Vladimir Putin?

Tuesday 22 July 18:20:00 UTC 2014

After troops from his country forcibly seized Crimea earlier this year, Russian president Vladimir Putin is back in the news for allegedly arming separatists in eastern Ukraine with the missiles that are believed to have taken down Malaysia Airlines Fl
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the Dept. of Never Open Pictures Ever (NOPE): A giant, pincer-laden flying insect has been discovered in China that is, and I quote, "large enough to cover the face of a human adult" [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 18:11:53 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Horrors of Anglerfish Mating

Tuesday 22 July 18:00:24 UTC 2014

When you think of an anglerfish, you probably think of something like the creature above: Big mouth. Gnarly teeth. Lure bobbing from its head. Endless nightmares following. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when you buy a house at an auction sight unseen only to discover 79 cats living inside it? Yeah, me too [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 17:59:59 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 12 year old girl who was attacked by friends has been receiving cards with homemade 'purple hearts,' opens one card with an actual Purple Heart Medal [Cool]

Tuesday 22 July 17:51:26 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While there is no cure for ebola, doctors insist they can beat back the disease and prevent some people from bleeding out of every single orifice and dying a dessicated husk of meat and bone [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 17:37:12 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dolphin corpses? In MY Virginia? [Sad]

Tuesday 22 July 17:33:57 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [16 comments] [Link]

The Onion » New Anti-Abortion Legislation Requires Doctors To Scale 18-Foot Wall Surrounding Clinic

Tuesday 22 July 17:30:00 UTC 2014

JACKSON, MS—In an effort to make certain that physicians who perform the procedure are fully qualified to do so, a new state law passed Tuesday will require Mississippi doctors to climb an 18-foot wall before entering any medical facility providing …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Loving couple finds home for their 22-year-old autistic twin boys (in their basement with no furniture or electricity) [Sick]

Tuesday 22 July 17:28:16 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [56 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » and the truth comes out says FML

Tuesday 22 July 17:14:03 UTC 2014

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you stuck with a miserably hellish 2-hour commute to work? Well, you can kick your feet and whine about it, like most people, or grab some bootstraps and build yourself your own helipad, like this CEO. See, the rich really are smarter than you [H

Tuesday 22 July 17:13:13 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boy Scout takes picture of US border patrol agent. Agent threatens Scout; points loaded pistol at another Scout's head. Boy Scouts spokesperson is OK with this: "A great lesson in civics for that young man and that troop" [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 17:07:21 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Woman decides to go to the mall. News: While drunk and with the 5-year-old boy she is watching. Fark: She yells at paramedics, told the officer she was just "looking for her car," stumbled in to the road with the boy and spit at an

Tuesday 22 July 17:05:30 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More and more food companies are removing all GMO ingredients from their products, but they're doing it very quietly, with no publicity. Why? Sshhhhh….we don't want to wake the Monsanto [Spiffy]

Tuesday 22 July 17:04:19 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen mother dropped out, then went on to earn two Master's degrees and became a school principal, now serves as role model for disadvantaged Brooklyn kids by trying to smuggle heroin into a maximum-security prison [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 17:02:36 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Hidden Things to Look for at Disneyland

Tuesday 22 July 17:00:55 UTC 2014

With some charm and a little know-how, you can get a lot more out of your visit. [Link]

The Onion » Opinion: Give It To Me As Roundabout And Sugarcoated As Possible, Doc (by Jimmy Zarelli)

Tuesday 22 July 17:00:00 UTC 2014

By Jimmy Zarelli
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Robbers hit illegal poker ring run by lawyer and her husband out of the same building as her law office…I don't know who to root for here [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 July 16:48:14 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Make way for ducklings. Also, stay off the median during your daring rescue, or it's a hundred bucks [Stupid]

Tuesday 22 July 16:41:00 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A rather laborious thing to go through just to save the bride's wedding day, ya think? (Some Not safe for work images on article page) [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 16:34:32 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists studying the garbage patch in the Pacific Ocean discover an island emerging from all the floating plastic complete with beaches, a rocky coastline, an underwater mountains, reefs, and a Club Med opening in 2016 [Weird]

Tuesday 22 July 16:33:27 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can you teach a baby to hold its breath by dunking it? YouTube says yes. Spectators say "hello, 911, a man is trying to drown a baby" [Misc]

Tuesday 22 July 16:32:09 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Make Cycling Across the U.S. Look Easy

Tuesday 22 July 16:20:25 UTC 2014

The open road is impossible to resist, and if you give yourself enough time to prepare, you can make an epic, once-in-a-lifetime bike journey look like a breeze. 1. Find the Right The Bike This is a heavy-duty journey, so the bike with pegs your mom got you when you were 14 isn’t going to cut it. If you can … [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Handouts

Tuesday 22 July 16:20:21 UTC 2014

Today's mentalfloss.com Tuesday Test Time Brain Game asks you to break down an eight-letter word, one letter at a time, forming new words along the way. Are you up to the challenge? By removing one letter from the mix at each step,
and rearranging the remaining letters to form new words,
reduce the word "HANDOUTS" to the letter "U."
H A … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ron Paul out-Ron Paul's Ron Paul. RON PAUL [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 16:16:23 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Odd news: man assaults bar patrons with hatchet. Fark: Man's name is Shelby Mustang GT500 Miller ("Mustang GT500" is my middle name) [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 16:16:14 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For some reason men lose interest as soon as this woman takes them to her bedroom to see her kitty [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 16:09:07 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are a number of natural ways to deal with a spider infestation in your home, including vinegar, chestnuts, or a homemade spider rifle [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 July 15:57:24 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So a forensic expert says falling from 33,000 feet out of an airplane that was just hit by a missile doesn't really hurt that much. Good to know [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 July 15:53:50 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [61 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 22, 2014

Tuesday 22 July 15:50:00 UTC 2014

Aries You try to be an accepting person, but you still don’t see why some people can’t be a nice, normal gender instead of women. Taurus Turns out that while dogs can’t actually smell fear, they’r…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » During an altercation with a Macy's loss prevention employee, woman's shirt and bra came off and she flees the mall topless. Don't you just love those 50% off days? [Fail]

Tuesday 22 July 15:49:37 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Take all the unwanted items in the garage to the landfill. Make sure you don't mix up the mannequins from the dead bodies [Florida]

Tuesday 22 July 15:46:41 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It was lupus (Warning: Some graphic images) [Weird]

Tuesday 22 July 15:38:46 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Johns Hopkins pays $190 million settlement because a camera penis not part of standard gynecological exam [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 July 15:35:04 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [42 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: IKEA Placing Cardboard Cutouts Of Dogs In Furniture Showrooms To Encourage Adoption

Tuesday 22 July 15:30:00 UTC 2014

Select IKEA stores are strategically placing life-sized cardboard cutouts of dogs in furniture showrooms to help customers visualize what their homes would look like with a dog, part of a program aimed at encouraging pet adoption.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'oh D'o

Tuesday 22 July 15:29:14 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Driver mistakenly thinks car is alight because Adele's 'Fire' was playing on the radio. Yes, really [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 15:23:20 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Domo arigato, Typhoon Matmo. DOMO domo (DOMO domo) [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 15:18:06 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two bumbling brothers straight out of a Cohen movie try to rob a guy one of the brothers had known since the eight grade out of a $13,000 jackpot he recently won in Las Vegas. With Cohen-esque results [Amusing]

Tuesday 22 July 15:07:16 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lawyer claims it's impossible to get revenge porn off the internet [PSA]

Tuesday 22 July 14:52:03 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Fighting Ministers

Tuesday 22 July 14:33:02 UTC 2014


Episcopal ministers participating in role-playing exercises in order to learn how to be more assertive and not always be "knuckling under to overbearing parish members." Here they're participating in the hostility exercise, acting out how an argumentative church group might behave. Source: Life – May 19, 1958 [Link]

FMyLife » teegtwo says FML

Tuesday 22 July 14:25:05 UTC 2014

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Houston multi-millionaire shows that he's just a normal, everyday guy who does normal, everyday things by urinating on the counter at a drug store after an argument with store employees [Weird]

Tuesday 22 July 14:15:09 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian Senator tells breakfast radio interview she needs a rich man with a big package. Radio hosts promptly find her a toy boy live on air. Stay classy, Palmer United [Amusing]

Tuesday 22 July 14:07:10 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Breathtaking Photos of the Elusive Moonbow

Tuesday 22 July 14:05:00 UTC 2014

Lunar rainbows! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Holey shiat [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 14:03:50 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drew's friends who own Seacrets in Ocean City Maryland kindly ask if you would vote for their bar as best bar ever in Region 3. Bonus: it kind of is [PSA]

Tuesday 22 July 14:03:19 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The advantages of being a small man is being squashed by giant women. Apparently [Amusing]

Tuesday 22 July 14:03:08 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » If An Ambulance Hits You, Do They Have To Pick You Up?

Tuesday 22 July 14:00:00 UTC 2014

In the unlikely event that I am ever struck by an ambulance, I've always figured that my first thought would be, "Well, that's convenient." Being hit by a van full of medical equipment driven by well-trained first responders would be akin to collapsing in a hospital or getting hungry in the supermarket. But, alas, it's not that simple. Art Hsieh, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The one-stop-shopping experience at Kroger is better than ever. Now you can pick up dinner, your medications, and pictures of your hoohah at the same time [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 13:28:22 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Creationist leader Ken Ham says all aliens will go to hell, but aliens can survive molten lead which means they'll be just fine in hell which means the Queen will take out Satan which in turn will lead to illegal aliens in heaven. Thanks Obama [S

Tuesday 22 July 13:10:51 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [245 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop a better Bullet Girl [Photoshop]

Tuesday 22 July 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman runs over motorcyclist after taking the song "Jesus Take The Wheel" a bit too literally [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 12:48:41 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The 5 Weirdest Traffic Laws On, and Off, the Books

Tuesday 22 July 12:30:05 UTC 2014

The rules of the road are a little weirder in some places than in others. [Link]

FMyLife » Oldhouse says FML

Tuesday 22 July 12:16:24 UTC 2014

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » A Snort History

Tuesday 22 July 12:13:43 UTC 2014

The takeaway message? Drinking and driving is an eternal fun recreation of humanity, encoded in the genome of the species, and will never cease. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man drives four hours to meet 18-year-old teen for sex. Discovers he found an actual 13-year-old girl on the internet [Sick]

Tuesday 22 July 12:02:51 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [282 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If either ants or an artificial intelligence ever wanted to take out the human race, there is probably nothing we could do about it [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 11:53:44 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [49 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 22 July 11:49:40 UTC 2014

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » Flower Power

Tuesday 22 July 11:31:45 UTC 2014


Back from the '70s, its…flower beards! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 1969 Cadillac Coupe DeVille converted to a fully-functioning mobile hot tub heads to Bonneville to set speed record. "Oops, I think you flooded it" [Strange]

Tuesday 22 July 11:07:21 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attention whore has silicone skull implanted in chest [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 10:46:00 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 14-foot green anaconda remains loose somewhere in New Jersey lake – and yes, it was green before it started swimming in New Jersey water [Weird]

Tuesday 22 July 10:20:00 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Play It "Safe"

Tuesday 22 July 10:12:09 UTC 2014

[Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: I Know Where Your Cat Lives

Tuesday 22 July 9:30:35 UTC 2014

The map project I Know Where Your Cat Lives plots cats’ locations from data their owners did not realize was online. It’s a slightly less creepy way of letting you know how easy people are to track from their online information.
*
Here’s why it’s important to know the blood types of video game characters. If you were in Japan, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian army hands over fake black boxes from MH17. I mean, look at them, they're clearly orange not black [Obvious]

Tuesday 22 July 7:19:00 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [160 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » “The Strangest Soccer Match Ever”

Tuesday 22 July 6:32:54 UTC 2014

The football teams of Barbados and Grenada found themselves in a bizarre situation in a qualification round for the 1994 Carribean Cup. In order to advance to the finals, Barbados had to win this game by a margin of two goals; in any other outcome Grenada would qualify. Also, the tournament organizers had stated that if the teams reached a … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 22 July 6:14:05 UTC 2014

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes you can't top the original headline: "Workers sickened by gas leak at Boulder burrito company" [Amusing]

Tuesday 22 July 5:45:00 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [22 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » notpayedenoughforthisshit says FML

Tuesday 22 July 5:15:45 UTC 2014

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML [Link]

FMyLife » AylaMarie92 says FML

Tuesday 22 July 5:04:12 UTC 2014

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arab Spring in Libya has blossomed into Tribal Shiatstorm Summer [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 4:29:38 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Open Table names 30 best BBQ restaurants and, well, bless their poor, dear, sweet little hearts, they do try so very, very hard. (Southern FARKers: uninstall this app if you have it. These people are obviously idiots.) [Fail]

Tuesday 22 July 4:13:00 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [335 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's a bumper year for jellyfish in just another reason to stay the hell away from the beach. This year, nature has her hate face on [Obvious]

Tuesday 22 July 4:07:00 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Things You May Not Have Known About 'X2: X-Men United'

Tuesday 22 July 3:30:00 UTC 2014

Nothing can be as shocking as seeing Magneto and the X-Men teaming up, but these hidden facets of X2 are worth a closer look. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Copilot to pilot: What does this pedal do? Pilot to copilot: It changes our careers [Amusing]

Tuesday 22 July 2:51:37 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're drunk driving the wrong way down the street, hit an Audi, throw a bottle of whiskey, hit a city bus, why not do everyone a favor and just break down in front of the police department? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 2:45:50 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Dude, it's not gonna fit." "Oh, shut up, it'll totally fit" [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 1:59:22 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why Chicago isn't the blood-soaked hellhole you think [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 July 1:57:48 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From deep in the heart of Russia, Snowden wants to rally hackers "to spur development of easy-to-use technologies to subvert government surveillance programs around the globe" that Russian agencies couldn't POSSIBLY want to use themselves

Tuesday 22 July 1:54:45 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Westboro Baptist Church — they're just like us, recording terrible covers of rap songs and uploading them to SoundCloud [Weird]

Tuesday 22 July 1:52:34 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [18 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » There are only two moments in a father's life when it is acceptable to cry in front of his son

Tuesday 22 July 1:41:39 UTC 2014

There are only two moments in a father's life when it is acceptable to cry in front of his sonView [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, it looks like undocumented, unaccompanied children have been arriving in America since 1892. And you people still doubt that Obama has a time machine? [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 1:40:47 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The cover image of 'State of the Climate in 2013,' makes the impact of the report, which was released today, clear" [Obvious]

Tuesday 22 July 1:34:07 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vice President of a company that just got approval to build an apartment complex with separate entrances for rich and poor people said poor people should just be grateful to live near rich people and shut up [Dumbass]

Tuesday 22 July 1:33:14 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman hospitalized in serious condition after attempting to park [Fail]

Tuesday 22 July 1:23:47 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-life nurse sues Family Planning Center for not hiring her to not do a job [Asinine]

Tuesday 22 July 0:22:53 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [173 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stealing cases of Bud Light in an armed robbery is a pretty good indication that you have failed in both life and in taste perception [Sick]

Tuesday 22 July 0:17:21 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reusing needles, syringes, saline solution, and vials of pain medication at a West Virginia clinic is called a "possible unsafe practice." It's unknown what would constitute a "definite unsafe practice" [Scary]

Tuesday 22 July 0:15:53 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mechanical penguin & its companion diver [Photoshop]

Tuesday 22 July 0:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

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