Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Five police officers opened fire on a driver who tried to run down a bicyclist that just happened to be a police officer [Florida]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Obvious: Fighting breaks out over Gaza. WTFark: In Calgary? [Weird]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 380 people with that competitive itch vie for a buttload of money this weekend in the World Championships of Cornhole [Spiffy]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russia-backed rebels are no longer shooting when international observers approach, but won't allow access to MH17 crash site until they finish looting [Followup]
[link] [211 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Soccer supporters look to raise £100 in memory of two rival football fans who died aboard flight MH17 while going to watch their team. Then the internet happens (Tag's for those who've proven what soccer fans can do when they put rivalri
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old & busted: Craft beer. New hotness: Craft coffee [Spiffy]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Southern California deaf couple and their children "SWATted" by gun-wielding deputies after acquaintance sends hoax message over Skype… from Australia. No word on payback involving Dingos, Lord Humungus [Asinine]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It took GM 11 months to warn customers of their ignition switch problem. Wait, did I say 'months'? I meant years. 11 years [Fail]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "She became belligerent when told by the manager to leave, hurling condiments and a charity box at the staff behind the counter… she pulled down her pants and began performing a 'lewd act in front of Dick's' said police" [Strang
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fair board turns down proposal to make condoms available back in the livestock barns, says 4-H projects getting out of hand isn't responsible for the spike in teen pregnancies [Silly]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » North Carolina cities can't make money off of traffic cameras, only schools can. So North Carolina schools are about to start operating red light cameras [PSA]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this roller coaster ribbon cutting [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Palm Beach authorities would like to speak to the person who decided to recycle a perfectly good human body [Florida]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » iBowdenzz says FML
Today, the fire alam went off. I live on the 58th floor of the apartments. I had to run all the way down the stairs to find out that the guy below had burned his toast. FML [Link]
FMyLife » wtf? says FML
Today, my mother compared having me as a daughter to having a deadly kind of cancer. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New study finds that banning cell phones while driving does nothing to increase safety, mainly because most people are utterly terrible drivers anyway and will simply replace one distracting behavior for another. Yes, including you [Obvious]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Officially average Omaha will be the nation's test bed for new Taco Bell breakfast items [Sick]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Young people problems [Amusing]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Is there any good way to work the phrase 'I have a mental illness' into an online dating profile?" [Strange]
[link] [200 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Crack is Whack…but smoking it next to police is just stupid [Stupid]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rest area that was once famous for co-ed hookers and drugs now known for its poisonous snakes. I love you, Florida [Florida]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently, paying an 11 year old girl $100 to kick you in the balls is a felony in New Hampshire. Who knew? [PSA]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » KY pastor wants the ID of teens who keep breaking into his church, making pizza and taunting the security cameras. In other news, well apparently there isn't a whole lot of other news in Dry Ridge, KY [Amusing]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » anonymous says FML
Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML [Link]
FMyLife » kids say the darnedest things says FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A 44-year-old man visited a hospital with stomach pains and blood in his urine only to discover he is really a woman and menstruating." So how's your day going? [Weird]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 18 year old costumed good Samaritan who calls himself "the Red Shadow" stresses he isn't a crimefighter or superhero. " I'm just a dork in a costume trying to do the right thing" [Spiffy]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: To the Cliff's Edge
The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 131st installment in the series. July 19-22, 1914: To the Cliff's Edge After the period of “missed signals” from July 16 to 18, there was still time to avert … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Miss Idaho sparks social media campaign after wearing insulin pump on bikini, reminding people there's another type of Diabetes than the one caused by multiple trips to Golden Corral [Spiffy]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Toaster Selfie
Taking the selfie phenomenon to a new level of absurdity, the Toaster Selfie allows you to print images of your own face on pieces of toast. Just send the company a hi-rez photo of your face and they'll create a custom-made toaster selfie for you. [burntimpressions.com] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New law says employers must provide "roly-poly" employees with reinforced office chairs, priority parking (link currently has some not safe for work photos promoting other stories) [Asinine]
[link] [168 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pouty husband sends his wife a spreadsheet detailing her failures in bed. It's a tough cell, but there's no accounting for taste. He just wants her to excel, not dropdown the mood. Maybe they should just sit down and have a chart. I mean, a c
[link] [219 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Directorial Debuts
16 great short films shot by now-famous directors early on in their careers are proof that some artists just get it right from the very start. * That seemingly endless expanse of clear, blue ocean is actually one large swimming pool. No, really. * Just like at a crowded concert arena, it may soon be possible to buy standing-room-only tickets … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this owl exchange [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Arnold
IMDB entry. Full movie below.
One reviewer there says:
The whole thing takes on the air of a ninety minute game of "Clue" played in reverse, as greedy, grasping relatives and hangers-on are dispatched in the most gory and inventive ways possible for a dead guy to come up with. Amongst the suspects/victims are THE Elsa Lanchester, Roddy McDowall, Patric … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pinky may be 28-years-old but she's still perky as a kitten when Caturday rolls around [Caturday]
[link] [871 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » 2013bchan41 says FML
Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML [Link]
FMyLife » LissaMccracken says FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption Mister Loud Mouth [Caption]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Starbucks opens its first store in Colombia. Coffee bean farmers can now pay $5 for a cup of coffee made with the beans they were paid five cents a day to pick [Interesting]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Forgotten advice from Leonardo da Vinci offers instruction how to write one of the most useless, ignored items that accompanies job applications and resumes: the cover letter [Silly]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This just in: Kids from religious backgrounds have a hard time differentiating between reality and fiction [Obvious]
[link] [283 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Starbucks finally puts the lid on those mega free drink concoctions [Followup]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Police were called to the Wal-Mart when loss prevention saw a suspicious man lunge to the ground, take out his flip phone, and lunge underneath a woman wearing a skirt. He then continued following her and taking upskirt photos" [Florida]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man asks a friend to shoot him to test out a new bullet proof vest. It ends pretty much like you'd expect [Fail]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How do you make an IPA even worse? Add sheep dung [Sick]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Coca-Cola Experiments You Can Try at Home
Turn Coke clear! Blow up balloons! Impress your friends! Delight your children! [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
macrobian
adj. long-lived annosity
n. fullness of years, length of life, agedness Index entries from A. Lapthorn Smith’s How to Be Useful and Happy From Sixty to Ninety, 1922: Absurdity of voluntary retirement at sixty
Adding ten years to life
Alcohol as cure for insomnia, very bad
All day in garden
Beard, long white, don’t wear
Carriage and pair shortens … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attention students of Franklin College: Please stop painting the iconic Ben Franklin statue to look like he's a Colts fan, Superman, or wearing women's underwear [Amusing]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Which Country Has the Best-Looking People? Let's Ask a 19th-Century Doctor
The results are xenophobic in most instances and condescending all around. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mixing alcohol and energy drinks only increases the desire to drink, says a new study sponsored by Red Bull and Smirnoff [PSA]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Never get involved in a land war in Asia"- also, if you're a Las Vegas club promoter, don't reply "no 'Whales or Hippos' allowed" to a bachelorette party planner [Dumbass]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you look into your rearview mirror, and you see a Range Rover with four guys waving machetes above their heads, do not pull over to see what they want [Sad]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 20 Latin Phrases You Should Be Using
Next time you spot a misbehaving child, or you want to seize the night rather than the day, you’ll have the perfect phrase at hand. [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Horned Facts About Carnotaurus
Cheer up, Argentina! You may have lost the World Cup, but today, we’re honoring one of your coolest-looking dinosaurs. How’s that for a consolation prize? [Link]
FMyLife » Lisa says FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russian TV reporter quits over crash coverage. "I couldn't do it any more, We're lying every single day. Every single day we're lying & finding sexier ways to do it" [Hero]
[link] [239 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Illinois man gets stiff prison sentence in Texas fake Viagra case [Obvious]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Toyota minivan lets parents easily threaten to turn the car around using built-in microphone [Cool]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pull up your fainting couch, apparently the U.S. Supreme Court is not comprised of scientists, as is evident in these hilarious useless comments as they've handed down tech decisions over the years [Amusing]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this nosy guy [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
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