Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Girlfriend of a 20 year-old man who was shot and killed outside a hospital doesn't understand graffiti and nuisance laws on private property, gets upset that a memorial to him was taken down [Florida]

Sunday 29 June 23:45:02 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » It's sweet when you're dating a girl and you want to bring her to where you work so she can meet your work friends. Unless you're a Green Beret working in Afghanistan [Strange]

Sunday 29 June 23:32:14 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Attorney who received "Austin Under 40" award wins FBI's "Girls Under 18" award [Dumbass]

Sunday 29 June 22:45:35 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Nothing says All-American Bar crawl like stripping naked in a pizza place, stealing a car, running from the police, driving the wrong way down a one way street, crashing into two parked cars and getting tazed while still naked [Dumbass]

Sunday 29 June 22:33:18 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Vendor exploits 'Gun Show Loophole' at Pennsylvania gun show [Obvious]

Sunday 29 June 22:29:59 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » "When I get out of jail, I'm gonna put you in the hospital" probably not the smartest thing to tell an arresting officer. Bonus matching Mother/Daughter "At First I Was Like" mugshots [Dumbass]

Sunday 29 June 22:18:44 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » If you owned a brothel, tavern or a store in the dark ages, what would you name it? [Silly]

Sunday 29 June 22:14:33 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » You may notice that your neighbor's 7-year-old is growing like a weed. That still doesn't give you an excuse to spray the kid in the face with plant killer [Dumbass]

Sunday 29 June 21:27:49 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » "Are we not men? Men whose only lot in life is to be bouncers? We are Manly men" (Not safe for work image above article) [Strange]

Sunday 29 June 21:08:01 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » "All of a sudden the kids say, 'There's someone on top of the car on the trunk,' and I'm like what?" Brenda Cruz said. "I said, "'Let me get my phone and started recording.'" [Fail]

Sunday 29 June 20:46:10 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mean fist pump [Photoshop]

Sunday 29 June 20:00:01 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Original film of The Grassy Knoll during JFK assassination on November 22, 1963 is missing. Second gunman still enjoying his 50-year headstart [Interesting]

Sunday 29 June 19:26:04 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » You accidentally back through the garage door. Do you: a) decide not to drive today, b) call the insurance company, c) just keep going and wedge your car between two buildings [Silly]

Sunday 29 June 19:19:20 UTC 2014

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Futility Closet » Two-Toned

Sunday 29 June 18:52:38 UTC 2014

A problem from the 2004 Moscow Mathematical Olympiad: An arithmetic progression consists of integers. The sum of its first n terms is a power of two. Prove that n is also a power of two. Click for solution … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man in Middle East crucified but found alive days later. No, not that guy [Scary]

Sunday 29 June 18:18:24 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Welcome to Florida, where it's OK to buy fireworks to scare birds, but not to celebrate the nation's independence [Followup]

Sunday 29 June 18:17:06 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Florida man tells deputies he has no idea how stolen goods ended up in his house because he was too drunk and high [Florida]

Sunday 29 June 17:18:57 UTC 2014

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Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Superhero Hometowns

Sunday 29 June 16:43:48 UTC 2014

Every superhero has to start from somewhere. Superman calls fictional planet Krypton home; however, other heroes (and villains) come from more humble beginnings — like Dundee, Illinois and Edmonton, Canada. * Ben Savage doesn't have all the answers to fans' questions about Boy Meets World or its current revival, Girls Meets World, but Cory Matthews is, as always, trying his … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream…AAAUGGHH" [Scary]

Sunday 29 June 16:17:03 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » All babies can be taught to swim and save themselves from drowning, so I think it's safe for us to leave them out here by the pool while we go inside and drink margaritas [Interesting]

Sunday 29 June 16:02:10 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » When ordered by their boss to get a psych evaluation, most employees won't try to burn his house down with him and his family in it. Most people [Scary]

Sunday 29 June 15:53:16 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Incredible new report on our future food supply [Interesting]

Sunday 29 June 15:05:15 UTC 2014

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Mental Floss » It Curves! A Brief History of Wiffle Ball

Sunday 29 June 14:37:38 UTC 2014

Wiffle Ball season is once again upon us. Before you pick up your first white plastic ball and yellow plastic bat of the summer, we thought we'd fill you in on a few points about the proud game's history. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Steinway (Still) Makes Pianos

Sunday 29 June 14:37:37 UTC 2014

Steinway & Sons has been in business since 1853, making pianos. With a century and a half of experience, Steinway has developed a mature process for creating pianos, and it's a lot of work. Here's a nice little video explaining all the steps that go into it—and the first one takes up to one year. Enjoy: Why the crackly audio? … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sonic gets serious about competing with McDonald's and Burger King [Spiffy]

Sunday 29 June 14:21:16 UTC 2014

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Mental Floss » How to Procrastinate Wisely, According to Writer Roxane Gay

Sunday 29 June 14:00:03 UTC 2014

If you’ve ever been on the Internet, chances are you’ve stumbled across a thought-provoking essay by hyperprolific writer and English professor Roxane Gay. We wanted to find out how she finds time to watch Law & Order. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School district defends their actions in disciplining a kindergartener for sexual misconduct for removing his pants, say they're just sad they couldn't have the child charged with molestation since he technically removed a 5-year-old's pa

Sunday 29 June 13:56:19 UTC 2014

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Mental Floss » How Do You Pronounce 'Crayon'?

Sunday 29 June 13:52:09 UTC 2014

Today's map breaks down where sticks of colored wax used for drawing are "crans" and where they're "cray-ahns." [Link]

Weird Universe » Things Happen

Sunday 29 June 13:08:11 UTC 2014

The Eleganza fashion catalog for men. Circa 1972.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this scary shadow [Photoshop]

Sunday 29 June 13:00:01 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Teacher fired for posting "lewd" photos of the Washington Monument to Facebook. Not safe for work if you work in a church in the 1800s. Subby thinks she looks like fun [Stupid]

Sunday 29 June 12:57:58 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Want to have a dog but none of the responsibilities associated with it? This apartment in the DC area comes with a communal dog [Silly]

Sunday 29 June 12:40:34 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » 5.2 Earthquake in southeast Arizona. Nevar forget [Scary]

Sunday 29 June 12:37:02 UTC 2014

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Weird Universe » News of the Weird (June 29, 2014)

Sunday 29 June 12:12:28 UTC 2014

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M377, June 29, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

Scott Fistler, twice a loser for electoral office in Phoenix, Ariz., as a Republican, decided in November 2013 that his luck might improve as a Democrat with a name change, and legally became “Cesar Chavez,” expected to poll better in a heavily … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So long, and thanks for the $1 billion worth of unwanted fish [Sad]

Sunday 29 June 11:30:00 UTC 2014

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Weird Universe » The Nicotine Fairies

Sunday 29 June 11:22:27 UTC 2014

Unless he was smoking something else….. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Prestigious private school provides morning-after pill to students. FARK: They run out of pills after one weekend [Amusing]

Sunday 29 June 7:48:00 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Five minutes that prove we're living through the greatest time in human history [Spiffy]

Sunday 29 June 6:47:53 UTC 2014

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Futility Closet » Do-Gooder

Sunday 29 June 6:47:24 UTC 2014

Given his necessary perfections, if there is a best world for God to create then it appears he would have no choice other than to create it. For, as Leibniz tells us, ‘to do less good than one could is to be lacking in wisdom or in goodness.’ Since it is strictly impossible for God to be lacking in wisdom … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Detroit Basement Boy abused by father [Followup]

Sunday 29 June 6:04:42 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Detroit Basement Boy not abused by father [Followup]

Sunday 29 June 6:04:10 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » After other fast food restaurants turned it down, Taco Bell was the only bidder at a public auction of city-owned property in front of the town's sewer plant. Mayor says it's the perfect fit [Amusing]

Sunday 29 June 5:35:45 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » From the heart of beautiful downtown Juneau it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music hosted by a farker [Spiffy]

Sunday 29 June 4:59:26 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Upset over summonses that you received? Calling 911 and threatening to blow up several police precincts probably won't help you get out of appearing in court [Dumbass]

Sunday 29 June 4:22:41 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » You can tell when you're at an Alabama beach by all the toilet plungers in the sand being used to keep people's beer cold [Obvious]

Sunday 29 June 4:05:00 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Three arrested inside a Walmart after robbing $10,000 worth of electronics from a nearby Radio Shack. In other news, there's $10,000 worth of electronics at Radio Shack [Scary]

Sunday 29 June 2:30:07 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Run over by the beach patrol while sunbathing on the beach? That's $2.6 million in damage, pain and suffering [Florida]

Sunday 29 June 2:21:53 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Researchers using modern-day dating techniques conclude Henry VIII was pretty much incompatible with all women – in large part because he had a nasty habit of cutting them off [Obvious]

Sunday 29 June 2:10:46 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » I said I wanted fresh noodle Lo Men (Not safe for work) [Sick]

Sunday 29 June 2:02:53 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » AZ residents at chemtrail hearing: 'We're being sprayed like we're bugs and it's really not okay' [Followup]

Sunday 29 June 1:54:58 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » "Basically he was accused of harassing people in a small boat by driving his large boat straight at them at a high rate of speed on purpose, then turning away at the very last minute, It really, really scared them" [Strange]

Sunday 29 June 1:54:38 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Selfies macht frei [Stupid]

Sunday 29 June 1:44:07 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » I'm a shark, TAKE MY PIC [Cool]

Sunday 29 June 1:20:05 UTC 2014

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FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 29 June 0:43:29 UTC 2014

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML [Link]

FMyLife » a fat fucking shit and proud of it says FML

Sunday 29 June 0:43:28 UTC 2014

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alaska humpback whales may lose 'endangered' status as numbers grow. Japanese promise get them back in the top 10 as soon as possible [Cool]

Sunday 29 June 0:35:09 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » In a story full of fail, Portland Nanny leaves children in car to go into a tanning salon and prepare for her next shift on the pole. TFA is a heads up for those that would hire a nanny with fake tan, hair, nails and education [Dumbass]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons