Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Of all the stories on Fark today, this is the only one that repeatedly quotes Curtis Boogeeman-Soul [Amusing]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What do supermodels do when they are super-hungry? They shoplift pop-tarts [Stupid]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How does the American Red Cross avoid public outrage over the misappropriation of $300 million in relief money for Hurricane Sandy? By claiming their expenses are a trade secret. Next question [Obvious]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The official definition of a 'heavy drinker' will most likely shock you, make you wonder how Drew is still alive and Farking, make you go out for a drink to calm your nerves [Obvious]
[link] [154 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Eleven years, over one hundred thousand lives, and $1.7 trillion later, the Iraq War looks a lot more like Vietnam than most of us are willing to admit [Sad]
[link] [252 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Evil boss fails to give woman schedule that would allow her avoid all traffic, gets sued [Stupid]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Malaysia Airline CEO says the search for flight 370 could take decades. In related news, CNN announces its programming lineup for the next ten years [Followup]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How to (Truly) Improve Your Luck
We persuade ourselves that we can influence random events, a fantasy psychologists call “the illusion of control.” [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Supreme Court: Police Need Warrant To Search Cell Phones
In a landmark victory for digital privacy rights, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously Wednesday that police need to get a warrant before searching the cell phone of a person they’ve arrested. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Driver asks jogger for directions, steps out of car to display his own compass needle [Sick]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Toilet explodes at courthouse moments after woman uses it. Taco Bell named as co-defendant [Scary]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Stephen Merchant Ponders, What if the Brits Won?
Brought to you by Newcastle Brown Ale [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Have something cool to share during the summer for a refreshing treat? Drinks, frozen goodies, no-bake desserts, and more… help your fellow Farkers beat the heat [Interesting]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teachers will be protesting Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation's meddling in their business. You know they're serious because they're doing it during summer vacation [Fail]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » stop thief says FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML [Link]
The Onion » Astronomers Discover Massive Asteroid That Could Wipe Out Life On Earth, Force Nordstrom Out Of Business
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Warning that a catastrophic direct collision is possible within weeks, NASA astronomers announced Thursday the discovery of a mile-wide asteroid that could devastate all life on Earth and effectively force upscale fashion retailer … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Report finds Jimmy Savile 'wore huge rings made from the glass eyes of dead bodies' [Sick]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » DF says FML
Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's what aaaalmost getting killed by lightning in Yellowstone Park looks like [Scary]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bolivia decides to redefine "clockwise." Kids, clocks were something old people used to tell time before cell phones [Weird]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Police chase man and tase him. Fark: In a canoe [Strange]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this future Cubs outfielder [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nancy Grace informs the father of a missing boy that his son had been found in his basement on the air. His response is epically awkward (with video of what an epically awkward response might look like) [Followup]
[link] [203 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Catholic church realizes that no one takes their teachings on sex seriously, despite priests being such positive role models [Obvious]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That terrible gagging sound you just heard was merely the 'Avengers' franchise jumping the shark after it was announced that Black Widow will ride an electric Harley in the sequel [Asinine]
[link] [177 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Triumph Takes on Soccer
Triumph of the World Cup Triumph the Insult Comic Dog takes on the World Cup. Contains some NSFW content. * You Might Want To Sit Down For This Oh, wait, no. Stand up. Sitting down is causing you all of these issues. * Investors Are Not Over the Rainbow You may not have even realized that there was recently an … [Link]
The Onion » This Minnesota State Museum’s Final Offer To Owner Of Couch From ‘Mary Tyler Moore’ Set
MINNEAPOLIS—According to a firm statement given Thursday by the institution’s staff, this is the final offer that the Minnesota State Museum is going to make for the brown living room sofa used on the hit 1970s sitcom The Mary Tyler Moore S… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » He fled when he ran into a horse, of course [Dumbass]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When suing for compensation from a crippling car accident, please try to limit your 5k races. And 10k. And half marathons. And marathons [Asinine]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two men who tossed a winning lottery ticket take blaming someone else for your own stupidity to a whole new level [Asinine]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and Busted: Flip this House. New Hotness: Flip this Dog [Dumbass]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Sound and Sense
Literature often inspires music, but the reverse is less common. Here’s an intriguing exception: In Music and Literature: A Comparison of the Arts (1948), Calvin S. Brown argues that the third part of Thomas De Quincey’s 1849 essay “The English Mail-Coach” is deliberately structured as the literary equivalent of a musical fugue. That part of the essay, titled “The Dream-Fugue,” … [Link]
Mental Floss » 30 Vintage Photos of People in Libraries
Story time duty is nothing new for librarians, as you can see in this image, taken by Jessie Tarbox Beals in 1910. A librarian is sharing a Native American legend about the Northern Lights with an audience of youngsters from a nearby Jewish school. Librarians Helping People 
Library of Congress Librarians are vital in helping people locate and check out … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The latest use for a remote-controlled helicopter: Delivering drugs to a prison yard [Dumbass]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Male gaze harms women [Obvious]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » $91,000 bottle of wine suspected of being a fake. The Irish book shop owner selling it should've been their first clue [Amusing]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Elderly couple roll their car in the middle of street, totally make up for it with adorable photos [Cool]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man robs Subway shop with pepper spray, says it's the freshest ingredient in the store [Strange]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Paper covers squirrel [Silly]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Take that, you stupid ocean [Silly]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The good news is Delaware's beaches have the cleanest water of any in the country. The bad news is you have to be in Delaware to enjoy them [Interesting]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: ‘The Lion King’ Turns 20
This week marks the 20th anniversary of the theatrical release of The Lion King, Disney's classic musical adventure film, which remains one of the most popular animated movies of all time. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » North Korean restaurants are opening up around Asia. I hear pebble and twig soup is amazing [Weird]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Facts About Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery"
“It was not my first published story, nor my last,” the writer recounted in a 1960 lecture, “but I have been assured over and over that if it had been the only story I ever wrote and published, there would still be people who would not forget my name.” [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Is your passport powerful? Come see this infographic to see if you have more access to the world than…say a kid from Ghana [Interesting]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There is an epidemic of fast food workers beating mothers in front of their children. But thankfully, there are bystanders willing to video this offense instead of stop it [Asinine]
[link] [178 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mind-blowing: archaeologists found fossilized Neanderthal faces in Spain… uh, wait … that should be fossilized Neanderthal faeces. Still cool, though [Cool]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How high's the mercury, Momma? [Scary]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Obamacare will "suck the life" out of the economy, claims another right-wing mouthpiece from Fox News, who apparently can't understand–wait, CNBC? Oh shiat [Scary]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman sues New York public transportation after being scared by 'Dexter' advertisement last year. Everyone knows the real crime is how disappointing season 8 was [Stupid]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If Scotland get independence, what would the UK be called? The "Former UK" lobby may need to rethink that one [Interesting]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Conversations Pretty Limited When Friend Not In Midst Of Crisis
RACINE, WI—Though she considers herself a close and loyal confidante, 28-year-old Amanda Willets admitted Tuesday that unless her longtime friend Courtney Saunders, 29, is in the throes of panic, heartbreak, or a physical illness, the two have very … 
[Link]
FMyLife » WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality says FML
Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Frogs Use Storm Drains for Better Mating Calls
As humans take up ever more space and urbanize the untamed wilderness, the animals that call these places home have a tough choice to make: move on to someplace else or adapt to their new surroundings. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So you got fired from the Chick-Fil-A you were working at, what do you do now? How about rob a KFC? [Dumbass]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hospitals are now collecting detailed consumer data on their patients so they can tell you to put down that ice cream sundae, fatty. And, yes, the article explains hospitals are during this directly because of Obamacare [Scary]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Harvard study confuses 'ready' with 'financially capable' [Dumbass]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Number of Scots leaving their home country to make their living elsewhere hits 10-year low, indicating that the Scottish economy is improving or there just isn't anyone living in Scotland anymore because they've all left [Obvious]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: The Pros And Cons Of Natural Childbirth
While most first-time mothers in the United States choose to give birth in hospitals that offer epidurals and additional medical assistance, a growing number of women are opting for drug-free, natural births, often at home. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nearly one in six students admit to having had sex while driving, and some say they have had it with a partner [Interesting]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Canada rediscovering its love affair with butter tarts, which for you Americans, is like a combination of apple pie and deep-fried stuff on a stick at a state fair times a brazillion. "It's about as Canadian as you can get" [Spiffy]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Supreme Court decides that women who want abortions have already demonstrated they don't mind being groped, does away with protest buffer zones around clinics [News]
[link] [516 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Family Trees Work
I have never been able to remember what a "first cousin" is, much less a "first cousin, once removed." But don't worry, there's YouTube. In the video below, C. G. P. Grey explains your family tree using simple diagrams. If you've ever scratched your head over what specific title your cousin Bob holds, here's how to sort it out: There's … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wearing high heels, using foreign words or smoking under the age of 40? Enjoy your stay at the gulag [Stupid]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » George Takei reviews 20 random products on Amazon and it's fabulous [Spiffy]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Crime is so bad in parts of England that people are stealing things from burglars before the burglars are finished robbing houses [Strange]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when you're waiting for guests to arrive for your son's birthday party when a black bear falls through the skylight, lands on the living room floor, and starts licking the frosting off all the birthday cupcakes? Yeah, me
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Goalkeeper Announces Plans To Frantically Wave And Yell At Teammates Before Corner Kicks
RECIFE, BRAZIL—In a surprising disclosure of tactics before his team’s World Cup match against Germany, U.S. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two men accused of stealing $150,000 in merchandize from a TJ Maxx. That's either a gross over-inflation of the merchandise value or they stole everything in the store. Twice [Florida]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nyyyyyyyyet [Sad]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Onion Poll: Do You Believe Animals Should Have The Same Rights As Humans?
The Onion – America's Finest News Source 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man is attacked by a scorpion when he reached for a banana at Wal-Mart. In related news, Klaus Meine is working at Wal-Mart, and apparently he has banana-related anger management issues [Weird]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Having blown pretty much everything else, Flight 370 officials are now looking at the autopilot. Otto is smiling [Followup]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In Norway there is bridge built using the architectural plans of Da Vinci, which are so much better than the ones of Escher [Interesting]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When one thinks of invasive species, one thinks of zebra mussels, kudzu… and of course the 60 hippos descended from Pablo Escobar's herd which roam the rivers of Colombia [Scary]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Pork Chop Shoes
From the strange legal cases file: Back in 1997, Ross Lucock of Australia won a meat tray during a pub raffle. Informed that he needed to be wearing shoes while in the pub, he proceeded to strap the meat (pork chops) to his feet and parade around the pub, leading to the inevitable accident in which another pub patron slipped on … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are the US and Europe prepared for the onset of Ebola? [Scary]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The thick, relentless fog in Chicago is either caused by the Polar Vortex or else a bunch of Dementors are f*cking [PSA]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Beautiful Visualization Shows 24 Hours of Flights Over the North Atlantic
North Atlantic Skies from NATS on Vimeo. According to NATS, the UK's leading provider of air traffic control services, between 2000 and 3000 aircraft fly between Canada, the U.S., and Europe every day—and they've created this mesmerizing data visualization to show what all that air traffic flying over the North Atlantic looks like. The video shows Transatlantic traffic from an … [Link]
Mental Floss » Is Laughter the Best Medicine?
The best medicine? No. Any sort of medicine at all? Well, that one is at least debatable. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What's worse than being bitten by a recluse spider? Being bitten by a recluse spider in bed. What's worse than that? You don't know you were bitten until much later when you're in crippling pain. What's worse than that? Doctors mi
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » "I'll Bite Every German Player if I Have To"
Will Ferrell's World Cup pep talk. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for masturbating twice on the same bus, says he's really just a modern day Rosa Parks and wants to overcome [Strange]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what's in the mist [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Your tax dollars at work…Arizona issues drivers' permits with the wrong photos on them [Fail]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you drink coffee on the way to work, why not just brew coffee on the way to work? [Interesting]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The Woman With Don Martin Feet
Original foto here.
It's number 46 in a slide show, and you'll have to click thru to reach it. But I think WUvies will enjoy the other shots of UK depravity as well. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Store posts no guns allowed sign. News: After manager was stabbed in an assault. Fark: The stabbing was stopped by a civilian with a CCW [Asinine]
[link] [287 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you are in the San Francisco bay area, grab a crowbar [Scary]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Pisser says FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » It Is Balloon!
[Link]
FMyLife » Anon says FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Pugs of Westeros
Pugs of Westeros sit, stay on the Iron Throne. An ad for Blinkbox dresses up three pugs in Game of Thrones costumes to make us all smile.
*
Flying Foxes Are Real And They Are Terrifying. The grey-headed flying fox has a wingspan that can reach more than three feet!
*
Do we really get wiser with age? Why yes -just ask … [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: C is for Commander-in-Chief
How well do you know your U.S. Presidents? Let's find out with today's mentalfloss.com Think Thursday Brain Game. Good luck: Two of the six last Presidents of the United States
had last names that began with the letter "C" (Clinton, Carter). Who was the most recent POTUS before them
with a last name that began with the letter C? Here is … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember the story about that father who "forgot" his beloved son in a hot SUV? Turns out he also forgot to delete the browser history after his online research on how long it would take an animal to die if it were trapped in a hot car [Follo
[link] [324 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » AllisonMegan98 says FML
Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Surprisingly, there is no Food and Drink Museum in America. That greenish-black bowl of god-knows-what slowly evolving into sentient life at the back of your fridge begs to differ [Obvious]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
linguished
adj. skilled in language logofascinated
adj. fascinated by words logodaedaly
n. cunning in words; “verbal legerdemain” oligoglottism
n. limited knowledge of languages [Link]
Fark.com RSS » From the "it's always in the last place you look" files: Detroit boy missing for over a week found alive in parents' basement [Strange]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Respect101 says FML
Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML [Link]
FMyLife » Roy Lawson says FML
Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man who claimed he wasn't foolish enough to bring drugs to court proves he's exactly that [Dumbass]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 477: "It's So Fluffy". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Deputies in Panama City Beach are trying to determine why a 12-year-old boy stole a school bus and drove it to a Wal-Mart around 5 a.m. Tuesday" [Florida]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How do the inhabitants of Virginia's conservative heartland cope with their daily existence? Heroin, mainly [Sad]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Curiosity celebrates one year on Mars. Sure feels like longer [Interesting]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Everybody knows you can't spell 'Furby' without FU [Amusing]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Judge who threatened to have deployed sailor arrested if he didn't show up for child custody case now claims she didn't know he was deployed, coincidentally after government reminded her about this little thing called federal law [Followup]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The good news: You're not going to jail. The bad news: Because you died [Amusing]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US State Department funding bill amendment would rename DC street for prominent jailed Chinese dissident. Guess whose embassy is on that street? [Amusing]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The rest of the rainbow colored dominos have pretty much toppled [Spiffy]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cracker Barrel management brings down the hammer on 73-year-old employee who gave away free muffin to a needy person [Florida]
[link] [177 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dallas now has more gun stores than museums and libraries [Strange]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this vivid surface reflection [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
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