Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » reb says FML
Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That's it. I'm moving to Arkansas [Cool]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Ways to Enjoy Cadbury Creme Eggs
From the sublime to the ridiculous—you decide which is which. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Family flees lions as car catches fire." You just can't make this stuff up [Scary]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Convicted murderer Jodi Arias claims to have gotten Hep C in jail because she was infected with the disease when getting a TB shot, all on the orders of Sheriff Joe Arapaio, who himself was following the orders of criminal mastermind Nancy Grace [Fai
[link] [130 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Couple married for 70 years, had 8 children and hated spending nights away from each other die just 15 hours apart. Proving once again that true love does exist and you can die of a broken heart. Does anyone ever dust in here anymore? [Sappy]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teenager throws public temper-tantrum after not getting into UMich, blames racism on the part of the university and not her below-average GPA and barely mediocre ACT scores for their decision [Dumbass]
[link] [447 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A bottle of red.. a bottle of white… it's what the scientists ordered tonight [Spiffy]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop our friendly neighborhood comrade and his meal [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 10 most bizarre animal defense mechanisms – who wouldn't want to spray blood from your eyes, or turn themselves inside out so your digestive tract's toxic juices poison your enemies [Interesting]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chinese government executes mass arrests of A) pro democracy protesters, B) worker's rights activists, or C) yaoi fangirls [Asinine]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » toilet_trouble says FML
Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Huffington Post picks 36 stoner-approved songs for your 4/20 smoke sessions. Bob Marley doesn't make the cut, so you already knew it was Huff-Po [Ironic]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Student gets three-day in-school suspension for: a) fighting, b) streaking across school property, or c) asking Miss America to the Prom despite being told not to in advance [Stupid]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The list of 50 things that British people would most like to do before they die includes Shakespeare and morris dancing. Vaunting ambition like this paints a picture of a modern Britain that is to be avoided by all saner nationalities [Dumbass]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'ere, he says he's not dead [Amusing]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NBC: We don't think Tamerlan Tsarnaev's widow had anything to do with the Boston Marathon bombing, but let's speculate anyway about whether she did [Asinine]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » “Socrates Among the Athenians”
– Louis Phillips, Academe, February 1979 [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cool: Check from IRS lands in your mailbox. Less cool: Check to IRS lands in your mailbox [Scary]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It just wouldn't be Easter weekend without photographs of children terrified by the Easter Bunny. Bonus: not a slideshow [Amusing]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Sports – Week Of April 19, 2014
The Week In Sports – Week Of April 19, 2014 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Happy 75th Birthday, Batman!
Bruce Wayne’s superhero alter ego Batman made his debut in May 1939. 75 years later, some of the most notable figures associated with the Caped Crusader—actor Adam West, writer Len Wein, and illustrator Neil Adams, among others—reminisce. * MRI scans of fruit look surprisingly sinister. What’s really in that spaghetti squash…? * Scientists have discovered, in a distant solar system, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Having solved all other problems, CT seeks to ban day care facilities from giving milk to children over 2 [Asinine]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New law would protect children from identity theft, but adults would still be on their own [Florida]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Huge earthquake strikes in a spot most English speakers don't care about [Misc]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you need a giant rabbit and live in Oregon, you are in luck. Wally needs a home [Cool]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 47 million Cadbury Cream Eggs are produced for this Easter. 46 million to be marked 50% off on Monday (w/video) [Interesting]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML [Link]
FMyLife » you'vegotmail(not) says FML
Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A penny saved is a penny earned … and 97,400 pennies will pay your college tuition [Spiffy]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People are shocked, SHOCKED that thieves would steal copper wires from street lights along the interstate leaving drivers to depend on this newfangled device called 'headlights' [Obvious]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Palcohol
Palcohol, powdered alcohol, sneak it into 'dry' venues or places where booze is prohibitively expensive. The makers say it can even be snorted, but use responsibly. It has been approved by the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau and should be available this fall. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wait, let me get this straight. You're saying that a TV show… about a psychic who talks to spirits connected with convicted murderers…is not particularly accurate? Are you sure about that? Because it looks TOTALLY legit to me [Stupid]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Detroit refuses to go down without a fight: Doors salvaged from demolished homes are being turned into seats at bus stops [Weird]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man recovering from a freak lawnmower accident where a nail shiat up in to his chest had previously survived an IED explosion, been shot multiple times and stabbed. So odds are that he's probably gonna recover just fine [Followup]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Paperbacks Transformed the Way Americans Read
Half a century before e-books turned publishing upside down, a different format threatened to destroy the industry. [Link]
Mental Floss » How Bubbles May Help Treat Cancer
For seven years, Dr. Eleanor Stride has been developing a new way to deliver drugs: injecting tiny bubbles. By containing medicine within a "micro-bubble" and targeting where the bubbles go (some are magnetic, and can thus be literally dragged around), the medicine's release can be highly targeted. This approach has the potential to dramatically reduce the destruction caused by chemotherapy, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Someone is now selling powdered alcohol so you can now sneak alcohol into places that don't allow alcohol, and don't have a problem with you bringing in unidentified white powdery substances [Weird]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Australian pizza is now officially the best in the world. Wait, what? [Unlikely]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Two elderly women aged 63 and 58 allegedly bilked their 74-year-old neighbor. News: Out of $450,000. Fark: That she had set aside for her pride and joy, a cat named Puddy Cat [Strange]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The mother of a 15-year-old girl who went on a crime spree with an older man she met online blames the internet, urges parents to check on what their children are doing online [Obvious]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents are outraged that their high school students would be exposed to the filth contained in the musical 'Rent' that includes but is not limited to a woman mooning the audience. "We sent a letter of concern" [Stupid]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "He was operated for gall bladder removal, appendicitis and incisional hernia. He had diabetes. We were shocked when gold biscuits came out of his abdomen during the operation." [Strange]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I thought it was a cat, but then as I focused on it, it was clear it was much bigger than a cat. I was like, 'Oh I should take a picture, this is crazy. There's a fox at the White House.' And he was gone." [Silly]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these beach invaders [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tennessee may become the first state to make it a crime for a mother to use drugs while pregnant [Interesting]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Motorized Skates
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Student upset that her professor found out she is a stripper and lowered her grades. Psst, hey prof… you're doing it wrong [Dumbass]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Gay Jeans
Gay Jeans begin life looking and acting like regular 5-pocket denim jeans, but as they experience normal washing and wearing over the course of their life, their indigo dye gradually fades away, revealing fabulously colorful yarns just waiting to come out.[betabrand.com]
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Captain of capsized South Korean ferry who abandoned ship first while nearly 300 went under, is arrested, charged with negligence, violating maritime law and being an asshole [Followup]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » *poot* Feline surrendered to a shelter *toot* for being excessively flatulent *pfffift* finds a new home. Smells like Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [731 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Will prosecuting parents help solve Philly's problem with chronically truant students? District Attorney: Yes. School District: Not only no, but HELL NO [Interesting]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The NYPD are searching for a woman who has 12 prior arrests, 7 of which are for attempted and actual kidnapping after she tried to snatch a eight-month-old baby boy out of a stroller the nanny was pushing [Scary]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you ever owned a shortwave radio back during the Cold War, you probably remember those creepy 'Number Stations' where a child or woman's voice would utter random numbers, presumably code for field agents. FARK: They're still on the
[link] [179 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The average bank or insurance document contains more words than it took for Shakespeare to write Macbeth, and they could all be condensed into 'If anything happens, you're farked. Sign here' [Stupid]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Jersey DMV sued for allowing a Baptist, but not an 8theist, vanity plate. Who the hell worships the number eight anyway? [Asinine]
[link] [145 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » One on One
Thomas Jefferson looks on nervously while Lyndon Johnson “confers” with Sen. Richard Russell (D-Ga.). At 6’4″, Johnson tied Abraham Lincoln as the tallest U.S. president, and he used his physical presence to advance his agenda, cornering his targets in out-of-the-way places and leaning “so close to you,” one staffer recalled, “that your eyeglasses bumped.” In their 1966 book The Exercise … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After female camel who lives on farm with no male camels gives birth, farmer asks nervously, "What are you all looking at me for?" [Unlikely]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » German hipsters proclaim stuffed deer heads the next big thing as they listen to obscure Schlager music and drink Andorran IPAs. "In Berlin's main hipster habitat, animal trophies have become nearly as ubiquitous as full beards and skinny jea
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » say no to dick says FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Set up a Twitter account making fun of the mayor of Peoria, Illinois? Yeah, enjoy having the cops show up at your workplace and haul you in for interrogation [Stupid]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Horrible, stupid man stops doing awful thing [Spiffy]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People are trotting out of food safety summit [Ironic]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news everybody, 80% of China's land isn't contaminated [Scary]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things We Miss About Old-School Gaming
Let's take a nostalgic glance back at what we miss most about the good old days. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nearly 100 hate crime killings in the past five years have links to a single website. Yes, it's the one you're thinking of [Scary]
[link] [339 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What happens when a museum of oddities closes? Come for the stuffed unicorn. Stay for the Elephant Man [Weird]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » cantprovenothing says FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML [Link]
FMyLife » hold your horses pony boy says FML
Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man gripping and petting his hairy monkey [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
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