Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Mental Floss » 9 Birds Caught Using Some Very Naughty Language
If you’re going to teach Polly how to talk, you’d better watch what you say! Here are nine of the world’s most “fowl”-mouthed avians. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » More than half of the cigarettes sold in New York State are smuggled in from other places. Fark: Like the Ukraine, and China [Obvious]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No longer newsflash worthy, and that's a good thing: Courts strike down Michigan's ban on gay marriage [Cool]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Here's What the First-Ever NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Looked Like
This wasn't exactly Showtime Lakers vs. Jordan's Bulls. [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Does Booze Make You Gain Weight?
How do calories in alcohol work? In short, we don’t entirely know yet. Alcohol isn't metabolized like food, so it's much more complicated. Plus, it’s even more difficult to draw conclusions about the effects of alcohol and food on the body since no two people are exactly alike. But with the ever-increasing popularity of low-calorie drink options such as Skinny … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Francis finally acts like an old-school Pope and tells a group that they are going to Hell if they don't change their ways. Spiffy: it's the Mafia [Interesting]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Consequences
In May 1875, Frederick Law Olmsted received a letter from his 4-year-old son Henry, asking him to send the family dog to Massachusetts, where he and his mother were visiting family friends. Olmsted replied: Dear Henry: The cats keep coming into the yard, six of them every day, and Quiz drives them out. If I should send Quiz to you … [Link]
Mental Floss » A Likely Excuse: Missing A Date In The Pre-Cellphone Era
Poor George P. Keyes of Stapleton, Staten Island. All he wanted was a date with Miss Elise Howard of Dongan Hill, but instead he got a headline in the New York Tribune that's sure to cause a few laughs, even more than a century later. [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Cheddar Cheese Prices Skyrocket Due To Chinese Demand
The Dairy Export Council reported this week that the cost of cheddar cheese climbed 18 percent this year to its highest price ever because domestic manufacturers have been unable to meet the demand for cheese by Chinese purchasers. 
[Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML [Link]
FMyLife » 17nate says FML
Today, I was hit by a car. The driver then began to yell at me. When I told him it was the law to yield to people crossing a street, he exited his vehicle, called me a smartass, kicked me in the balls and drove away. Through the blur of my tears, I couldn't read his license plate number. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Unbelievable Underground
Let’s Go Exploring These caves are stunning and beautiful and don’t look like anything from this planet. * Hearing In Color Neil Harbisson is turning himself into a human-robot hybrid capable of hearing colors. It’s pretty amazing. * Dancin’ Walken Christopher Walken just can’t keep his body still. * HFDTAPCYMI How far down the acronym path can you make it? … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man fined $75,000 per day for building something on his own property that he got a permit to build [Strange]
[link] [219 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School succumbs to pony power and allows 9-year-old boy to wear his My Little Pony backpack [Followup]
[link] [257 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch This Vending Machine Make Pizza
News broke today that Sprinkles Cupcakes will install New York City's first 24-hour cupcake ATM at its Upper East Side location next week. The unit has a 760 cupcake capacity and can dispense up to four sweet treats at a time. That's pretty cool—but not as cool as a vending machine that makes fresh pizza in under three minutes. [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: 15 Most Common Misspellings
15 Most Common Misspellings 
[Link]
The Onion » Bank Of America Introduces New Existential Rewards Credit Card Program
CHARLOTTE, NC—Affirming the company’s commitment to giving back to their loyal customers, Bank of America unveiled its new Existential Rewards credit card program at a press event Friday, which will reportedly allow cardholders to accrue a dee… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Your nose can detect one trillion odors, new study finds. And that's just in New Jersey [Interesting]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Taking a selfie. Hot and New: With your head wrapped in cello tape [Amusing]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police looking for the man who hamburgled a TV from a McDonald's [Florida]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Those scamps at Duke Energy have been caught -for the 8th time in a month- intentionally dumping toxic waste into a North Carolina river. In response NC Gov and former Duke executive Pat McCrory expected to sigh, wag his finger, and say "oh YOU&#
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know how opponents of minimum wage hikes talk about what a disaster it would be if fast-food restaurants had to pay their workers $10/hr? Shake Shack manages to do it, plus offer health, vision, dental, 401(k) and profit sharing [Spiffy]
[link] [163 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when your dad tags along with you on spring break and you get arrested on alcohol charges and then he gets arrested for swinging a golf club at parked cars because he's upset at how long it's taking for you to get out of
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Crashing into a McDonald's while driving drunk is no way to go through life… Officer [Stupid]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Israeli HS principal says it was totally okay that some of his students dressed in blackface and others in KKK robes to re-enact a lynching on Purim, because the costumes "created a platform for discussion" [Strange]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these guys sitting on a truck in 1980s Brooklyn [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you insist on taking your "service" dog into the grocery store, please make sure it doesn't poop in the aisles, attack any babies, or sniff the produce [Obvious]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man murders his mother, sister, and her children to be with Selena Gomez and live together on Mars. And you thought Beliebers were crazy [Sick]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Magazine: Hartford, CT's Hottest Regular SuperShuttle Riders
Hartford, CT's Hottest Regular SuperShuttle Riders 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » DHS shuts down Wee Little Lambs Christian Child Care center, for giving kids sleep aid pills at nap time. Well, at least it wasn't Kool-aid [Scary]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » SeriouslyMakeItStop says FML
Today, three days before I take my bar exam, the biggest exam of my life, I got my monthly. And I get to bring my belongings in a clear plastic bag so the world knows. FML [Link]
The Onion » Lowly Mortal Opens Portal To Hell
John Kerry poses as a masseuse to get a few minutes with Putin, parents reminisce to their children about the dating algorithm that brought them together, and a lowly mortal opens a portal to hell. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's unlikely "someone would murder another witness to keep them from testifying." says Trial Prosecutor Born Yesterday [Stupid]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How to Commission Your Own Cologne
Our Go Further series explores how to live a full life. This week, Max Silvestri discovers how to smell better. Much, much better. [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Delightful and Delicious Muppet Cakes
Muppets Most Wanted is finally out! That’s something worth celebrating—and any good celebration needs cake. While you might not actually feel like getting up and baking a cake shaped like Kermit and Miss Piggy, you can still sit back and enjoy these fantastic Muppet cakes. [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Scientific Experiments That Used '90s TV Shows to Manipulate Subjects
If you want to know something about what makes people tick, investigate it with something people love—TV! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mother furious that her child [23] was harassed out of a theatre simply because he's autistic [and was causing a disruption] [Obvious]
[link] [292 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you decide to get high and go for a walk in the park, please refrain from climbing on the raw sewage tank [PSA]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Grave Sightings: John Ringling
After realizing that there are a lot of taphophiles (cemetery and/or tombstone enthusiasts) out there, I’m finally putting my archive of interesting tombstones to good use. [Link]
The Onion » Surge Answered With Rally
SAN DIEGO—With a succession of quick baskets during the NCAA Tournament Friday, sources confirmed that a surge was quickly answered by a rally. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Health insurance companies are starting to revise their profit forecasts because of Obamacare. FARK: Upwards [Obvious]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas city decides they do not want a chicken-hawk, draft-dodging, pedophile performing at their Fourth of July festival after all [Hero]
[link] [152 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's Friday, and that means it's time. Oh yes, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. Now with zero calories [Survey]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review
Elevated Motorcycle How did this happen? We really don’t know! The motorcycle accident reportedly occurred early Saturday morning in Fortaleza, in northeastern Brazil. The news outlet reporting the accident heard several different versions of the story. A couple of versions had the wiring pole on the ground and then standing back up somehow, and others told of a motorcycle going … [Link]
Mental Floss » Tonight on "Vice": Greenland is Melting
Vice is a documentary series on HBO. It builds on the success of Vice's web presence (indeed, I've covered some of their online films before), and it employs a style of first-person journalism that's often engaging and sometimes shocking. Tonight's episode covers two topics: the melting glaciers of Greenland, and modern-day slavery in Pakistan. Here's a 40-second preview of the … [Link]
FMyLife » nehadrihan says FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » San Diego State student government candidate under fire for having bikini-clad coeds swimming and jumping on trampolines in ad and you're not even reading this anymore are you [Misc]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Purity Balls: 'You are married to the Lord and your daddy is your boyfriend'. Difficulty: Not just for Southerners [Strange]
[link] [304 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists: We finally found proof of the Big Bang and its aftermath. CNN: Scientists prove existence of god [Dumbass]
[link] [299 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Computer models what the average drug user looks like [Interesting]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What's the Weirdest Event of the Last 50 Years?
On Fridays, we ask a series of unrelated questions. Your answers help get us through the afternoon. Answer one, answer all, or ask your own question. On to this week's topics… [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Activists set out to prove that bisexuality actually does exist. And they're doing it with science [Interesting]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
The Onion » GChat Status Disastrously Left On Visible During Peak Andrea Hours
AUSTIN, TX—Calling it a “catastrophic oversight,” local woman Denise Clark, 27, accidentally left her GChat status as “available” during peak Andrea hours Thursday night, resulting in a barrage of wholly unwanted messages app… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Widely Repeated Phrase Origins—Debunked!
Recently we busted some myths about the popular email “Life in the 1500s.” Here are the rest of the tall tales, shrunk to fit reality. [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: What The Internet Will Look Like In 25 Years
This month marks the 25th anniversary of British inventor Tim Berners-Lee’s proposal for a system of hypertext, which provided the language for establishing the internet. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Study on America's most popular dog names goes to show people not only give their kids dumb names, they do it to their pets too [Obvious]
[link] [249 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Can you believe it took almost two weeks for Fox News to connect the missing Malaysian Airlines 777 to Benghazi? [Stupid]
[link] [243 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Officials worried old mine shafts could create huge sinkholes in Mexico City, causing millions of dollars of improvements [Interesting]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As long as the kids are away, judge says lesbian teachers can play in the classroom [Followup]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: E is for End
It's time for another open-ended Free-for-All Friday mentalfloss.com Brain Game challenge. Enjoy! Give ONE example of a common English word
of FIVE LETTERS or more in length that changes
pronunciation when you add an "E" to the end. EXAMPLES: CLOTH/CLOTHE, FINAL/FINALE, TRIP/TRIPE Please add your single entry to our
comment list below, and have a great weekend! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Go over the alloted speaking time limit at your township board meeting? You bet that's a felony [Asinine]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alabama passes bill allowing medical marijuana to be used. Whoaaaa, trippy [Spiffy]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Lady Gaga or Jem?
There's talk of a live-action Jem movie, which makes now a good time to brush up on the Holograms. Can you tell whether we're talking about Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta (Lady Gaga) or Jerrica Benton (Jem)? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ten things intuitive people do that others don't. But you don't have RTFA — you probably already know [Stupid]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Twits tweet Turks for trying Turkish Twitter tweaks [Followup]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage
A study published this week in the journal Neuroscience found that inconsistent sleep patterns, including not sleeping enough and sleeping erratic hours, can result in an irreversible loss of brain neurons. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass otter pup waves, wants own tag for Otterday [Sappy]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What's Russian for "Blink"? Because Potty just did it [Followup]
[link] [279 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Juror in drug court dies of drug overdose, is brought back to life by spectator with better drugs (link replaced) [Obvious]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, yeah, um, that debris we saw…we can't find it now. And, um, did you know that airplanes are made of materials that sink? [Obvious]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do We Cross Our Fingers For Good Luck?
Crossing fingers to achieve your own good luck or in a display of hopeful solidarity that things go well for someone else is one of the most widely recognized symbols in the Western world. This is in part because of the gesture's long history—although originally, it was not a solo act. There are two main theories regarding the origins of … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ABC affiliate reads Fark [Amusing]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Best photos you'll ever see of San Francisco taken by photographer dangling by a rope from helicopter. Yeah, if you have a thing against heights, you might want to skip this one [Cool]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I was picking up trash along the road and I lifted up this here bag and thought, 'now that's heavy.' Then I saw the human skull inside and thought, 'this isn't right.'" [Florida]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't use heroin, especially if you are an elementary school teacher [Dumbass]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » On the Couch
In the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, the subject is asked whether he agrees with a series of statements, such as “There seems to be a lump in my throat much of the time,” “I am not afraid to handle money,” “I feel uneasy indoors,” and “My sleep is fitful and disturbed.” His responses give insights into his personality and psychopathology. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman sees stray kitty, cold, outside by her bird feeder, grabs cat carrier, rushes outside and JESUS CHRIST, GET IN THE HOUSE [Dumbass]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass tamandua born March 7 will grow up to be a world champion cunning linguist with a 16-inch tongue [Sappy]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Use this Infographic to Build Your Own Iron Throne
According to professional swordsmith Jake Powning, forging the 1000 swords that make up Westeros' Iron Throne could take around 700,000 hours—or about 80 years—using modern-day welding techniques. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » MtGox seems to have found $116m of their lost bitcoins. Maybe they should check under the cushions of their sofa next? [Amusing]
[link] [132 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Zoo worker dying of cancer asks for his hospital bed to be taken to zoo, where he gets goodbye kiss from giraffe he spent his life caring for. "These animals recognised him, and felt that things weren't well with him" (pics) [Sappy]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Los Angeles public defender is arrested after she kicked police officers, bit a nurse and drunkenly sang Rock Around The Clock, When she calmed down she told the cops, "I'm not worried anymore – give me some cocaine" [Dumbass]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Vatican to make its entire library available online. I'll be in my bunk [Cool]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » IRS warns of a phone scam preying on gullible taxpayers, are angry that someone is horning in on their racket [PSA]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CNN offers advice to families dealing with grief of flight 370. Noticeably absent: avoiding CNN and their daily dose of ever-changing bullshiat questions about what might have happened [Obvious]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this school hallway [Photoshop]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Six-year-old girl uses prescription "monster spray" to eradicate monsters under her bed. Stupid kid… doesn't she know that prescription strength monster eradication remedies are only available in powdered form? [Amusing]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hey, parents, leave them kids alone [Obvious]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Art of the Insane
In early 1946, the St. Anne Insane Asylum in Paris exhibited some of the art work of its inmates. Collecting the art of people identified as insane seems to have been a trend at the time. See, for instance, the book of "Poetry of the Insane," published in 1933, that I posted about back in Feb 2013.
The Associated Press … [Link]
Mental Floss » Meet Raya, the Sanitation Muppet
The latest Sesame Street Muppet was unveiled this Wednesday. Her name is Raya, and she's a 6-year old green monster. Raya will appear as part of Sesame Street's Cleaner, Healthier, Happier campaign in Bangladesh, India, and Nigeria. And she has a message: stay clean when using the toilet! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russia 'bewildered' by US sanctions. "We thought you'd rename Beef Stroganov to Freedom Stew and be done with it" [Followup]
[link] [184 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So do you think you can eat a 20-foot bratwurst that weighs nearly 6 pounds? [Cool]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Forest Fire Lamp
[Click to enlarge]
Favorite illumination of arsonists everywhere!
Original ad here. (Page 25.) [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you're a 23-year-old hottie, it's all fun and games pretending to be a 15-year-old-girl on Facebook just so you can have sex with a 13-year-old boy. Until you give him an STD and his mom finds out [Sick]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cops in Hawaii want to keep law that allows them to have sex with prostitutes. Well, duh [Obvious]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Shades of Brown
[Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Invasion of the Tumbleweeds
Neighborhoods around Colorado Springs are being buried under tumbleweeds. And suddenly we have a plot for a new SyFy movie.
*
Bradley Cooper’s Entire Career Exists Only To Prove Louis C.K. Wrong. Either that, or three video clips from history just coincidentally go together in a delightful way.
*
17 Everyday Words You Just Might Be Mispronouncing. Let’s see if … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bill Watterson grants a rare interview and loans a bunch of original strips to the second-ever only Calvin and Hobbes exhibition. Coming soon to a town near you. If you live in Columbus, Ohio [Cool]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman makes the Guinness Book of World records for donating 16,321 ounces of breast milk to a dispensary over the course of five years [Hero]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Black and White
By Hyacinth R. Agnel. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Defendant in rape case uses the "I'm really, really, ridiculously good-looking" defense [Dumbass]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » no says FML
Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Spent spring break from college getting smashed, hooking up with strangers? Nope, spent it making infant caskets for parents too poor to pay for their children's burials [Florida]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » screwed says FML
Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police are searching for a man who posed as a podiatry student and sucked the toes of a woman trying on shoes at a Walmart [Sick]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russia to hit US with sanctions. Vows no more dash cam videos or internet scams for the foreseeable future [Obvious]
[link] [147 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Finally, a reason to visit Starbucks [Hero]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Closing the C-section incision with glue is not normal, but on dogs it…well…it's still not normal [Sick]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Iran's propaganda team realize they lack Photoshop skills, build replica of US aircraft carrier so they can blow it up [Amusing]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Guy killed after falling from a hotel balcony during spring break. Fark: he was there acting as the chaperone for his daughter and her friends [Ironic]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Watch shop in New York feels it's the right time to start suing people for bad Yelp reviews [Dumbass]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 8 Facts About the Spiny Flower Mantis
Sure, you've heard of the Praying Mantis. But have you seen its cousin, the Spiny Flower Mantis? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Your dog wants something better than you're feeding him [Interesting]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » R2-D2 and C-3PO Briefly Appear in Raiders of the Lost Ark
Looking for George Lucas and Steven Spielberg's easter eggs. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Planet Fitness – "No judgment (unless you're Muslim)" [Dumbass]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Meet the woman who invented the chocolate chip cookie [Hero]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » KEA_08 says FML
Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML [Link]
FMyLife » systematicpanic says FML
Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML [Link]
FMyLife » skrumpp says FML
Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No funeral for Fred Phelps, disappointing almost everyone still alive [Followup]
[link] [229 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this icy horse race [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
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