Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » " Please buy a random person a Guinness every hour today, and that when the surprised patron asks him "Who is this from?" he should reply: "It's from LT Michael P. Murphy" [Hero]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
The Onion » BAKERSFIELD, CA—Don and Nancy Gruber had a new dishwasher installed, and the guy who put it in stayed for lunch.
BAKERSFIELD, CA—Don and Nancy Gruber had a new dishwasher installed, and the guy who put it in stayed for lunch.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » California man cuts off his hand with kitchen knife because… well, why the hell not? [Weird]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Black and White
From Stratagems of Chess, 1817. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution … [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Cocaine Factor In Houston's Death
According to the coroner who conducted the autopsy on singer Whitney Houston, cocaine was a factor in her drowning death.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Art imitates life imitates art: TABC believes Discovery Channel reality show Moonshiners is to blame for recent rash of moonshining operations in Texas [Unlikely]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Confused says FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » The Unauthorized Biography of the Easter Bunny
The Easter Bunny is a beloved springtime character, but look deeper and you’ll realize nobody gives away that much chocolate unless they’re hiding something. 
KEVIN LAMARQUE/Reuters /Landov He Can’t Even Cover the Whole World! Say what you will about Santa Claus, but at least he’s delivering presents the world over. The shiftless Easter Bunny outsources egg and candy distribution in … [Link]
The Onion » Strongside/Weakside: Anthony Davis
Kentucky’s shot-blocking frosh sensation has been unselfish, versatile, and seemingly everywhere on the floor during the NCAA Tournament.
[Link]
FMyLife » cjd says FML
Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Quiz time, come get your fresh Fark Weird News Quiz, right out of the oven [Survey]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Church discovers a way to make services more exciting: Add mimes [Strange]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy who is a little horse [Photoshop]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 19-year old entrepreneur has developed a thriving business selling a product that retails for hundreds of dollars and ounce, but unlike most people who fit this description, he has no fear of the DEA kicking in his front door [Cool]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Magazine: Teenage Girls To Watch In 2012
Teenage Girls To Watch In 2012
[Link]
The Onion » Purity Of War Marred By One Bad Apple In Afghanistan
A study finds that newborn infants can tell if their parents are losers, all 6.5 million residents of Indiana join together to form a collective consciousness, and Ray Ban is unsure the public can pull off its 2012 series of sunglasses.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Things to do with owlets: dry dishes, use them as book ends. (adorable slideshow) [Amusing]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Kids Build Battlestar Galactica Viper Simulator in Garage
Talk about fracking talented! These guys have started building a full, virtual, BSG Viper simulator in their garage. The Bay Area high school kids are funding the project through Kickstarter and will unveil it this May, at Maker Faire 2012. I found out about this from Mashable, which says “The basic idea: mount the fuselage of a small plane (a … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Five winning $250K lottery tickets purchased at the same store on the same day. No, not suspicious. Not at all. Happens all the time [Unlikely]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Save the Date: National Stuff That Was Popular When You Were a Kid Day
Are you planning to celebrate National Stuff That Was Popular When You Were a Kid Day on Monday? I understand if you’re not, as it’s a new holiday that we’re inventing. Reader Virginia Scott suggested it in our Make Up Your Own Holiday contest. (Monday is also National Make Up Your Own Holiday Day.) We’ll be celebrating here throughout that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Daily Show goes off on Cable news. (sponsored link) [Amusing]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Who Just Assembled Desk Not Sure How He Has Every Screw Left Over
Man Who Just Assembled Desk Not Sure How He Has Every Screw Left Over
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Geraldo Rivera brings his trademark investigative skills to the Trayvon Martin Case. This time he strikes gold [Florida]
[link] [447 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alaska Rep. Alan Dick (R-eally is his last name) let the cat out of the bag, openly states that women should be submissive to men [Asinine]
[link] [850 comments] [Link]
The Onion » 'No Buzzer Beaters, No Overtime Games So Far,' Reports Man To Himself
'No Buzzer Beaters, No Overtime Games So Far,' Reports Man To Himself
[Link]
Mental Floss » mental_floss on CBS This Morning
If you wish your morning news show was a bit more like our Amazing Fact Generator, you may want to gravitate to CBS This Morning. Earlier this month, Charlie Rose, Erica Hill and Gayle King started working fun mental_floss facts into the broadcast. The facts look good on TV! [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Candidates for the First Rock ‘n’ Roll Song
It’s a question that music historians have been fighting over for decades: What was the first rock ‘n’ roll song? 
Gold record image via Shutterstock Though commercially successful singles like Bill Haley & The Comets’ “Rock Around The Clock” (1954), Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti” (1955) and Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog” (1956) were among the songs that popularized the genre and … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Saxon tomb found near Cambridge, raising doubts about future tour dates [Interesting]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Area Man Gets Terrible Creative Juices Flowing
SLIDELL, LA—Local man Timothy Nolan announced Friday that after initially struggling to get into the right frame of mind for a new project, he had finally gotten his horrible creative juices flowing.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man refused entry to Game Stop and Marshall because of his one-horsepower wheelchair [Strange]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A dog named Data, a bucket of pups and a tiny, tiny yawn are among the highlights of this photo collection. Happy National Puppy Day (slideshow, but the cutest. One. Evar.) [Sappy]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The old "pull your girlfriend's shirt down and blame it on the deputy" trick never seems to work [Dumbass]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » McBain!
Oh wow. Every clip of McBain from “The Simpsons,” cut together in sequence. Put down the donut and enjoy McBain’s witticisms and gunplay: “Ice to see you” indeed. For exhaustive details on McBain, check out this page. See also: Watching 130 Episodes of “The Simpsons” Simultaneously and Every “Itchy & Scratchy Show” Ever. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two men accused of stealing $25,000 worth of gas over the course of nine months. No word on what they did with the 600 gallons [Fail]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As more and more schools and supermarket reject pink slime beef, it could be the worst thing to ever happen to cattle [Followup]
[link] [241 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Grounder So Routine Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong, Nothing At All
FORT MYERS, FL—A run-of-the-mill medium-speed ground ball has been hit right up the middle in such textbook fashion that it is nearly impossible for anything—anything in the entire world—to go wrong before the shortstop can field it, bal…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Things you don't want to hear someone yelling during prostate surgery: "I've lost R2" [Interesting]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Reasons to Feel Uneasy About Canada
Maple Leaf image via Shutterstock I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been complimented on the safe, peaceful oasis that is my homeland. I’ve been petted and cooed at in public; laughed at by airport security when my passport was presented; had my socks pilfered during a routine mugging in Baltimore after a red and white flag was found … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man gets third DUI. News: While on tractor. Fark: He was doing doughnuts in a Bobcat [Dumbass]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watching 130 Episodes of “The Simpsons” Simultaneously
Earlier this week I came across Every “Itchy & Scratchy Show” Ever, and went to see if its creator MrBestDeni had made more “Simpsons” stuff. Turns out he has. In the video experiment below, he runs 130 episodes of the show simultaneously, in a grid, for about three and a half minutes. The result is an extremely weird visual experiment … [Link]
Mental Floss » How Does a Fortune Cookie Proposal Work?
Cookie image via Shutterstock My girlfriend loves a good romantic comedy (to be fair, she’ll watch mediocre and bad ones, too). So on weekend afternoons, our TV is often tuned to whatever quirky love story TNT/TBS/USA is running on a constant loop. Usually, these movies will climax with the female lead’s love interest asking for her hand in marriage in … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Suspect Sought in Soft Drink Assault." Try saying THAT five time fast [Amusing]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Jersey middle school bans hugging. Fingerbanging not specifically prohibited [Asinine]
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The Onion » American Voices: 'Hunger Games' Opens Today
The Hunger Games, the hotly anticipated film adaptation of the young adult novel in which teens have to fight to the death, opens today.
[Link]
Weird Universe » A New Standard Of Ridiculousness In The UK
Fitting that the UK has been referred to as the Nanny State because the over protective idiocy has filtered down to the playground. There is now a 'No best friend' policy at some elementary schools. This is to protect all the little snowflakes from the trauma of have a falling out with their best friend. If this is the way … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Iowa hopes to retard the insensitive use of words to describe people by amending the law [Followup]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Email from Danish Lottery: "Congratulations, all 300 of you are BILLIONAIRES" [An hour and a half later] "Erm, RE: our last email" [Fail]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Joshua Tree employees stricken by unknown illness. Hazmat teams conduct search for cause, but they still haven't found what they're looking for [Scary]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Before calling 9-1-1 about your suicidal husband, hide all firearms and drugs. That means YOU, Principal Smith [Dumbass]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ANNIEDBD says FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML [Link]
FMyLife » 2gd4u says FML
Today, my job application was rejected because I was overqualified. This is the same company that rejected me 2 years ago for being under-qualified. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Beautiful gang of sperm hunting women terrorizing male hitchhikers, which is even more amazing than when Michael Jackson came over to your house to use the bathroom [Unlikely]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bengals cheerleader says squad members torn by implants. Maybe they should have gone with a smaller size [Interesting]
[link] [179 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Possible Cougar Reported at U. of Mich. Campus… Party at UofM [Amusing]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Sweet Sixteen Coach or Teen Pop Star?
Some of the people in this quiz led their teams into the Sweet Sixteen of this year’s NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Others celebrated their sweet sixteen while enjoying a lucrative career in pop music. Can you pick the college coaches from the teen pop stars? Take the Quiz: Coach or Pop Star? [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Nora Roberts
This week’s 5 Question quiz theme is Author, Author, with book titles appearing in the questions. Friday: Nora Roberts. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Motorcycle cop purposely rear-ends convertible, ends up face-down/boots-up in back seat, and presses charges against driver — but didn't count on witnesses and incriminating video turning up (bonus: not his first deliberate rear-ending) [Fail]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The notorious Exxon Valdez to be scrapped, inhabited by Dennis Hopper [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » TSA: Shampoo on the plane? That's an arresting. TSA: Fetuses in clay jars on a plane? Okay, that one isn't in our manual so I guess you can go ahead [Stupid]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Time and Motion
It’s impossible to trisect an angle using a compass and a straightedge, but in 1947 Leo Moser showed how to do it with a pocketwatch. At noon align the watch’s hands with one side of the angle (above, XII), then wait until the minute hand has crossed to the other side (III). At that point the hour hand will have … [Link]
The Onion » Kentucky Going To Stick With Strategy Of Having Far-And-Away Better Athletes At Every Position
ATLANTA—In a press conference today regarding the Wildcats' Sweet 16 matchup, Kentucky coach John Calipari revealed to reporters he does not plan to switch up his strategy, which thus far has been to put in athletes who are much more gifted basketba…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » New toilet tax puts Long Island schools on a pay-as-you-go plan [Asinine]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bride chooses a lizard over a one-eyed snake [Strange]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Medical doctors of India would like to take this moment to reassure you that despite Janani Mukherjee's claims, getting bitten by a dog does not put your child at risk of becoming pregnant with puppies [PSA]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Hana says FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you go to an event described as "500 acres of mud and party" with your wife to see strippers, you know it can only end in blood and tears [Florida]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Americans lost $30 billion worth of cell phones last year, and it looks like you'll find most of them in Philadelphia [Dumbass]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Boss's Going-Away Party A Little Too Jubilant
Boss's Going-Away Party A Little Too Jubilant
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A town councillor who has big political aspirations" may find that telling the local paper his mother is a nine-foot tall green alien has an impact on those ambitions [Unlikely]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review
Secret Service Aids White House Invaders A family of ducks walked through the lawn of the White House on Wednesday, though they needed some help doing it. A mother duck broached the perimeter, but the ducklings following her struggled to mount the concrete barrier. Secret Service agents came to the rescue, and lifted the ducklings through a fence. The agents … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just because you say your beer is approved by NASA doesn't mean the National Association of the Sellers of Alcohol are rocket scientists [Obvious]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I know a guy. He'll break into homes. He obscures the peepholes. So the resident can't see. But he doesn't use butter. He doesn't use cheese. He doesn't use jelly. Or any of these [Stupid]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The latest entrants in the War on Women are Canadian squirrels [Amusing]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » badadvise says FML
Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fed up with local children pilfering candy from your Easter display? You should a) talk to their parents. b) move the decorations closer to the house. c) lace a batch of chocolate bunnies with ammonia and hang them from a tree in the front yard [Scar
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The Employment
El Empleo / The Employment from opusBou on Vimeo.
Comments [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Forget sex, women want you to cook them dinner, clean the bathroom and mop the floor [Obvious]
[link] [165 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Elementary school teacher fired after third graders found to be having oral sex in her classroom. "The principal felt that she was not monitoring the classroom adequately" [Obvious]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Laid Off
A small town Texas politician did something very unusual recently. He thought about the best interest of the city and its citizens by laying himself off from his city manager position. There are also two assistant city managers and Dan O'Leary decided it was not necessary for Keller, Texas to have three managers. He then chose his own position as … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rocky outcrop in the Sea of Okhotsk [Photoshop]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sir Ian McKellen and Stephen Fry should be granted honorary UltraFark status for life for this immensely good deed [Hero]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Not_High says FML
Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Elvis Presley’s Strangest Concert
Based on the pandemonium Elvis Presley had generated the last two times he played Jacksonville, Florida, Colonel Tom Parker, his manager, booked him for six shows over two days in August of 1956. All six shows would be at the Florida Theater, a medium-sized venue that held about 2,200 people.
The 21-year-old Elvis was quickly becoming a national celebrity based on … [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: The F-Word
Here’s a new mentalfloss.com Brain Game Free-for-All Friday challenge. Good luck: TAKE, MOTEL, LUCKY, _______, CLOUD, HANG What’s the missing word above, and why: FEVER, FIGURE, or FUTURE?
Here is the ANSWER. [Link]
FMyLife » mrricecakes says FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » The Lottery—The Sexy Edition
If people bought this 1950 edition of The Lottery 
Comments [Link]
Futility Closet » “Continence”
In writing the first edition of Scouting for Boys in 1908, Robert Baden-Powell planned to include a section on self-abuse. “You all know what it is to have at times a pleasant feeling in your private parts,” he wrote, “and there comes an inclination to work it up with your hand or otherwise. It is especially likely to happen when … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boy named Sue, Girl named LaShockqua: Baby-Name regret is on the rise [Obvious]
[link] [421 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Sweet 16 Critters
Unseen Titanic is the story of the wreckage that lies at the bottom of the ocean, 100 years after the ship sank. NatGeo also has the first pictures ever of the entire ship, stitched together from hundreds of images to show the enormous wreck in its resting place.
*
Top 10 Mad Men Essentials. See authentic 1966 collectable accessories that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Carrottop. Carrotbottom. Carrotmiddle. Carrotarm. Carrotleg. Carrotboob [Weird]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip for the disabled – Do not leave your wheelchair unattended. Society HAS crumbled and your wheelchair WILL be stolen [Sad]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stray dog saves teenage girl from attack by sex offender. Seriously [Florida]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anon says FML
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Chey says FML
Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Katrina: the gift that keeps on giving [Sad]
[link] [192 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After a man was murdered on a dark stretch of a bike trail, city council decides it's best to add: A) Lights B) Police patrols C) A memorial bench [Stupid]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Fight outside of school. News: Prearranged on Facebook. FARK: Between two Moms [Interesting]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: City Manager dumps his entire workload on his two assistants. Fark: Because he laid *himself* off in order to cut costs [Interesting]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's not every day you get "G-strings" and "nuns" in the same headline [Amusing]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you send someone your money to be cleansed of evil spirits, and your Rolex because the crystal is a demon portal, they might just keep it [Florida]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Escalades have a lot of features but babysitting 11-week old twins while you shop is not one of them [Scary]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Late Movies: Guess The Theme 46
Happy spring, _flossers! It’s Thursday night, which means, once again, it’s time for the game that’s sweeping the nation…GUESS THE THEME! All the clips below have something in common. Leave your best guesses in the comments. The Beatles – “Blackbird” Bob Marley – “Buffalo Soldier” Owl City – “Fireflies” R.E.M. – “Orange Crush” The Commodores – “Brick House” [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML [Link]
FMyLife » busfail says FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cleared out camp [Photoshop]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
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