John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » " Please buy a random person a Guinness every hour today, and that when the surprised patron asks him "Who is this from?" he should reply: "It's from LT Michael P. Murphy" [Hero]

Friday 23 March 23:43:55 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [123 comments] [Link]

The Onion » BAKERSFIELD, CA—Don and Nancy Gruber had a new dishwasher installed, and the guy who put it in stayed for lunch.

Friday 23 March 23:30:00 UTC 2012

BAKERSFIELD, CA—Don and Nancy Gruber had a new dishwasher installed, and the guy who put it in stayed for lunch. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California man cuts off his hand with kitchen knife because… well, why the hell not? [Weird]

Friday 23 March 23:12:40 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Friday 23 March 23:01:39 UTC 2012

From Stratagems of Chess, 1817. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Cocaine Factor In Houston's Death

Friday 23 March 22:00:00 UTC 2012

According to the coroner who conducted the autopsy on singer Whitney Houston, cocaine was a factor in her drowning death. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Art imitates life imitates art: TABC believes Discovery Channel reality show Moonshiners is to blame for recent rash of moonshining operations in Texas [Unlikely]

Friday 23 March 21:58:41 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [85 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Confused says FML

Friday 23 March 20:44:23 UTC 2012

Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The Unauthorized Biography of the Easter Bunny

Friday 23 March 20:33:06 UTC 2012

The Easter Bunny is a beloved springtime character, but look deeper and you’ll realize nobody gives away that much chocolate unless they’re hiding something. KEVIN LAMARQUE/Reuters /Landov He Can’t Even Cover the Whole World! Say what you will about Santa Claus, but at least he’s delivering presents the world over. The shiftless Easter Bunny outsources egg and candy distribution in … [Link]

The Onion » Strongside/Weakside: Anthony Davis

Friday 23 March 20:30:00 UTC 2012

Kentucky’s shot-blocking frosh sensation has been unselfish, versatile, and seemingly everywhere on the floor during the NCAA Tournament. [Link]

FMyLife » cjd says FML

Friday 23 March 20:23:48 UTC 2012

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Quiz time, come get your fresh Fark Weird News Quiz, right out of the oven [Survey]

Friday 23 March 20:16:02 UTC 2012

Survey [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Church discovers a way to make services more exciting: Add mimes [Strange]

Friday 23 March 20:15:15 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy who is a little horse [Photoshop]

Friday 23 March 20:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 19-year old entrepreneur has developed a thriving business selling a product that retails for hundreds of dollars and ounce, but unlike most people who fit this description, he has no fear of the DEA kicking in his front door [Cool]

Friday 23 March 19:49:07 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [117 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Magazine: Teenage Girls To Watch In 2012

Friday 23 March 19:45:00 UTC 2012

Teenage Girls To Watch In 2012 [Link]

The Onion »  Purity Of War Marred By One Bad Apple In Afghanistan

Friday 23 March 19:00:00 UTC 2012

A study finds that newborn infants can tell if their parents are losers, all 6.5 million residents of Indiana join together to form a collective consciousness, and Ray Ban is unsure the public can pull off its 2012 series of sunglasses. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Things to do with owlets: dry dishes, use them as book ends. (adorable slideshow) [Amusing]

Friday 23 March 18:48:30 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Kids Build Battlestar Galactica Viper Simulator in Garage

Friday 23 March 18:26:07 UTC 2012

Talk about fracking talented! These guys have started building a full, virtual, BSG Viper simulator in their garage. The Bay Area high school kids are funding the project through Kickstarter and will unveil it this May, at Maker Faire 2012. I found out about this from Mashable, which says “The basic idea: mount the fuselage of a small plane (a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five winning $250K lottery tickets purchased at the same store on the same day. No, not suspicious. Not at all. Happens all the time [Unlikely]

Friday 23 March 18:21:28 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Save the Date: National Stuff That Was Popular When You Were a Kid Day

Friday 23 March 18:15:31 UTC 2012

Are you planning to celebrate National Stuff That Was Popular When You Were a Kid Day on Monday? I understand if you’re not, as it’s a new holiday that we’re inventing. Reader Virginia Scott suggested it in our Make Up Your Own Holiday contest. (Monday is also National Make Up Your Own Holiday Day.) We’ll be celebrating here throughout that … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Daily Show goes off on Cable news. (sponsored link) [Amusing]

Friday 23 March 18:11:17 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [82 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Man Who Just Assembled Desk Not Sure How He Has Every Screw Left Over

Friday 23 March 18:00:00 UTC 2012

Man Who Just Assembled Desk Not Sure How He Has Every Screw Left Over [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Geraldo Rivera brings his trademark investigative skills to the Trayvon Martin Case. This time he strikes gold [Florida]

Friday 23 March 17:58:34 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [447 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alaska Rep. Alan Dick (R-eally is his last name) let the cat out of the bag, openly states that women should be submissive to men [Asinine]

Friday 23 March 17:56:05 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [850 comments] [Link]

The Onion » 'No Buzzer Beaters, No Overtime Games So Far,' Reports Man To Himself

Friday 23 March 17:45:00 UTC 2012

'No Buzzer Beaters, No Overtime Games So Far,' Reports Man To Himself [Link]

Mental Floss » mental_floss on CBS This Morning

Friday 23 March 17:40:21 UTC 2012

If you wish your morning news show was a bit more like our Amazing Fact Generator, you may want to gravitate to CBS This Morning. Earlier this month, Charlie Rose, Erica Hill and Gayle King started working fun mental_floss facts into the broadcast. The facts look good on TV! [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Candidates for the First Rock ‘n’ Roll Song

Friday 23 March 17:31:41 UTC 2012

It’s a question that music historians have been fighting over for decades: What was the first rock ‘n’ roll song? Gold record image via Shutterstock Though commercially successful singles like Bill Haley & The Comets’ “Rock Around The Clock” (1954), Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti” (1955) and Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog” (1956) were among the songs that popularized the genre and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saxon tomb found near Cambridge, raising doubts about future tour dates [Interesting]

Friday 23 March 17:29:06 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [57 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Area Man Gets Terrible Creative Juices Flowing

Friday 23 March 17:00:00 UTC 2012

SLIDELL, LA—Local man Timothy Nolan announced Friday that after initially struggling to get into the right frame of mind for a new project, he had finally gotten his horrible creative juices flowing. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man refused entry to Game Stop and Marshall because of his one-horsepower wheelchair [Strange]

Friday 23 March 16:53:13 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A dog named Data, a bucket of pups and a tiny, tiny yawn are among the highlights of this photo collection. Happy National Puppy Day (slideshow, but the cutest. One. Evar.) [Sappy]

Friday 23 March 16:52:44 UTC 2012

Sappy [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The old "pull your girlfriend's shirt down and blame it on the deputy" trick never seems to work [Dumbass]

Friday 23 March 16:52:26 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » McBain!

Friday 23 March 16:46:50 UTC 2012

Oh wow. Every clip of McBain from “The Simpsons,” cut together in sequence. Put down the donut and enjoy McBain’s witticisms and gunplay: “Ice to see you” indeed. For exhaustive details on McBain, check out this page. See also: Watching 130 Episodes of “The Simpsons” Simultaneously and Every “Itchy & Scratchy Show” Ever. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two men accused of stealing $25,000 worth of gas over the course of nine months. No word on what they did with the 600 gallons [Fail]

Friday 23 March 16:44:18 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As more and more schools and supermarket reject pink slime beef, it could be the worst thing to ever happen to cattle [Followup]

Friday 23 March 16:32:35 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [241 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Grounder So Routine Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong, Nothing At All

Friday 23 March 16:30:00 UTC 2012

FORT MYERS, FL—A run-of-the-mill medium-speed ground ball has been hit right up the middle in such textbook fashion that it is nearly impossible for anything—anything in the entire world—to go wrong before the shortstop can field it, bal… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Things you don't want to hear someone yelling during prostate surgery: "I've lost R2" [Interesting]

Friday 23 March 16:28:32 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Reasons to Feel Uneasy About Canada

Friday 23 March 16:13:37 UTC 2012

Maple Leaf image via Shutterstock I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been complimented on the safe, peaceful oasis that is my homeland. I’ve been petted and cooed at in public; laughed at by airport security when my passport was presented; had my socks pilfered during a routine mugging in Baltimore after a red and white flag was found … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man gets third DUI. News: While on tractor. Fark: He was doing doughnuts in a Bobcat [Dumbass]

Friday 23 March 16:13:29 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watching 130 Episodes of “The Simpsons” Simultaneously

Friday 23 March 16:11:39 UTC 2012

Earlier this week I came across Every “Itchy & Scratchy Show” Ever, and went to see if its creator MrBestDeni had made more “Simpsons” stuff. Turns out he has. In the video experiment below, he runs 130 episodes of the show simultaneously, in a grid, for about three and a half minutes. The result is an extremely weird visual experiment … [Link]

Mental Floss » How Does a Fortune Cookie Proposal Work?

Friday 23 March 16:07:14 UTC 2012

Cookie image via Shutterstock My girlfriend loves a good romantic comedy (to be fair, she’ll watch mediocre and bad ones, too). So on weekend afternoons, our TV is often tuned to whatever quirky love story TNT/TBS/USA is running on a constant loop. Usually, these movies will climax with the female lead’s love interest asking for her hand in marriage in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Suspect Sought in Soft Drink Assault." Try saying THAT five time fast [Amusing]

Friday 23 March 16:03:56 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Jersey middle school bans hugging. Fingerbanging not specifically prohibited [Asinine]

Friday 23 March 15:53:11 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [86 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: 'Hunger Games' Opens Today

Friday 23 March 15:45:00 UTC 2012

The Hunger Games, the hotly anticipated film adaptation of the young adult novel in which teens have to fight to the death, opens today. [Link]

Weird Universe » A New Standard Of Ridiculousness In The UK

Friday 23 March 15:41:51 UTC 2012


Fitting that the UK has been referred to as the Nanny State because the over protective idiocy has filtered down to the playground. There is now a 'No best friend' policy at some elementary schools. This is to protect all the little snowflakes from the trauma of have a falling out with their best friend. If this is the way … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iowa hopes to retard the insensitive use of words to describe people by amending the law [Followup]

Friday 23 March 15:20:01 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Email from Danish Lottery: "Congratulations, all 300 of you are BILLIONAIRES" [An hour and a half later] "Erm, RE: our last email" [Fail]

Friday 23 March 15:18:55 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Joshua Tree employees stricken by unknown illness. Hazmat teams conduct search for cause, but they still haven't found what they're looking for [Scary]

Friday 23 March 15:18:49 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Before calling 9-1-1 about your suicidal husband, hide all firearms and drugs. That means YOU, Principal Smith [Dumbass]

Friday 23 March 15:17:29 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [20 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » ANNIEDBD says FML

Friday 23 March 15:16:17 UTC 2012

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML [Link]

FMyLife » 2gd4u says FML

Friday 23 March 15:16:16 UTC 2012

Today, my job application was rejected because I was overqualified. This is the same company that rejected me 2 years ago for being under-qualified. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beautiful gang of sperm hunting women terrorizing male hitchhikers, which is even more amazing than when Michael Jackson came over to your house to use the bathroom [Unlikely]

Friday 23 March 15:15:17 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bengals cheerleader says squad members torn by implants. Maybe they should have gone with a smaller size [Interesting]

Friday 23 March 15:10:04 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Possible Cougar Reported at U. of Mich. Campus… Party at UofM [Amusing]

Friday 23 March 15:08:36 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Sweet Sixteen Coach or Teen Pop Star?

Friday 23 March 15:04:21 UTC 2012

pagehead_lunchtimequiz550.jpg Some of the people in this quiz led their teams into the Sweet Sixteen of this year’s NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Others celebrated their sweet sixteen while enjoying a lucrative career in pop music. Can you pick the college coaches from the teen pop stars? Take the Quiz: Coach or Pop Star? [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Nora Roberts

Friday 23 March 15:04:17 UTC 2012

This week’s 5 Question quiz theme is Author, Author, with book titles appearing in the questions. Friday: Nora Roberts. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Motorcycle cop purposely rear-ends convertible, ends up face-down/boots-up in back seat, and presses charges against driver — but didn't count on witnesses and incriminating video turning up (bonus: not his first deliberate rear-ending) [Fail]

Friday 23 March 14:48:43 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The notorious Exxon Valdez to be scrapped, inhabited by Dennis Hopper [Interesting]

Friday 23 March 14:47:51 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » TSA: Shampoo on the plane? That's an arresting. TSA: Fetuses in clay jars on a plane? Okay, that one isn't in our manual so I guess you can go ahead [Stupid]

Friday 23 March 14:45:59 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Time and Motion

Friday 23 March 14:44:33 UTC 2012

It’s impossible to trisect an angle using a compass and a straightedge, but in 1947 Leo Moser showed how to do it with a pocketwatch. At noon align the watch’s hands with one side of the angle (above, XII), then wait until the minute hand has crossed to the other side (III). At that point the hour hand will have … [Link]

The Onion » Kentucky Going To Stick With Strategy Of Having Far-And-Away Better Athletes At Every Position

Friday 23 March 14:30:00 UTC 2012

ATLANTA—In a press conference today regarding the Wildcats' Sweet 16 matchup, Kentucky coach John Calipari revealed to reporters he does not plan to switch up his strategy, which thus far has been to put in athletes who are much more gifted basketba… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New toilet tax puts Long Island schools on a pay-as-you-go plan [Asinine]

Friday 23 March 14:18:48 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bride chooses a lizard over a one-eyed snake [Strange]

Friday 23 March 14:14:22 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Medical doctors of India would like to take this moment to reassure you that despite Janani Mukherjee's claims, getting bitten by a dog does not put your child at risk of becoming pregnant with puppies [PSA]

Friday 23 March 14:12:41 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [33 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Hana says FML

Friday 23 March 14:09:08 UTC 2012

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you go to an event described as "500 acres of mud and party" with your wife to see strippers, you know it can only end in blood and tears [Florida]

Friday 23 March 14:08:57 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Americans lost $30 billion worth of cell phones last year, and it looks like you'll find most of them in Philadelphia [Dumbass]

Friday 23 March 14:01:11 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [34 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Boss's Going-Away Party A Little Too Jubilant

Friday 23 March 14:00:00 UTC 2012

Boss's Going-Away Party A Little Too Jubilant [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A town councillor who has big political aspirations" may find that telling the local paper his mother is a nine-foot tall green alien has an impact on those ambitions [Unlikely]

Friday 23 March 13:57:58 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review

Friday 23 March 13:54:42 UTC 2012

Secret Service Aids White House Invaders A family of ducks walked through the lawn of the White House on Wednesday, though they needed some help doing it. A mother duck broached the perimeter, but the ducklings following her struggled to mount the concrete barrier. Secret Service agents came to the rescue, and lifted the ducklings through a fence. The agents … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just because you say your beer is approved by NASA doesn't mean the National Association of the Sellers of Alcohol are rocket scientists [Obvious]

Friday 23 March 13:53:02 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I know a guy. He'll break into homes. He obscures the peepholes. So the resident can't see. But he doesn't use butter. He doesn't use cheese. He doesn't use jelly. Or any of these [Stupid]

Friday 23 March 13:47:40 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest entrants in the War on Women are Canadian squirrels [Amusing]

Friday 23 March 13:47:06 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » badadvise says FML

Friday 23 March 13:45:52 UTC 2012

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fed up with local children pilfering candy from your Easter display? You should a) talk to their parents. b) move the decorations closer to the house. c) lace a batch of chocolate bunnies with ammonia and hang them from a tree in the front yard [Scar

Friday 23 March 13:43:10 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Employment

Friday 23 March 13:41:55 UTC 2012

El Empleo / The Employment from opusBou on Vimeo.

Comments [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget sex, women want you to cook them dinner, clean the bathroom and mop the floor [Obvious]

Friday 23 March 13:31:37 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Elementary school teacher fired after third graders found to be having oral sex in her classroom. "The principal felt that she was not monitoring the classroom adequately" [Obvious]

Friday 23 March 13:12:39 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Laid Off

Friday 23 March 13:10:12 UTC 2012

A small town Texas politician did something very unusual recently. He thought about the best interest of the city and its citizens by laying himself off from his city manager position. There are also two assistant city managers and Dan O'Leary decided it was not necessary for Keller, Texas to have three managers. He then chose his own position as … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rocky outcrop in the Sea of Okhotsk [Photoshop]

Friday 23 March 13:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sir Ian McKellen and Stephen Fry should be granted honorary UltraFark status for life for this immensely good deed [Hero]

Friday 23 March 12:49:45 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [111 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Not_High says FML

Friday 23 March 12:18:53 UTC 2012

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Elvis Presley’s Strangest Concert

Friday 23 March 12:04:40 UTC 2012

Based on the pandemonium Elvis Presley had generated the last two times he played Jacksonville, Florida, Colonel Tom Parker, his manager, booked him for six shows over two days in August of 1956. All six shows would be at the Florida Theater, a medium-sized venue that held about 2,200 people.

The 21-year-old Elvis was quickly becoming a national celebrity based on … [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: The F-Word

Friday 23 March 12:00:06 UTC 2012

Here’s a new mentalfloss.com Brain Game Free-for-All Friday challenge. Good luck: TAKE, MOTEL, LUCKY, _______, CLOUD, HANG What’s the missing word above, and why: FEVER, FIGURE, or FUTURE?
Here is the ANSWER. [Link]

FMyLife » mrricecakes says FML

Friday 23 March 11:55:32 UTC 2012

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » The Lottery—The Sexy Edition

Friday 23 March 11:28:28 UTC 2012

If people bought this 1950 edition of The Lottery by Shirley Jackson thinking it would be a sex-filled potboiler, they were in a for a bit of a disappointment.

Comments [Link]

Futility Closet » “Continence”

Friday 23 March 11:09:08 UTC 2012

In writing the first edition of Scouting for Boys in 1908, Robert Baden-Powell planned to include a section on self-abuse. “You all know what it is to have at times a pleasant feeling in your private parts,” he wrote, “and there comes an inclination to work it up with your hand or otherwise. It is especially likely to happen when … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boy named Sue, Girl named LaShockqua: Baby-Name regret is on the rise [Obvious]

Friday 23 March 10:58:00 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [421 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Sweet 16 Critters

Friday 23 March 9:32:50 UTC 2012

Unseen Titanic is the story of the wreckage that lies at the bottom of the ocean, 100 years after the ship sank. NatGeo also has the first pictures ever of the entire ship, stitched together from hundreds of images to show the enormous wreck in its resting place.
*
Top 10 Mad Men Essentials. See authentic 1966 collectable accessories that … [Link]

Oddee.com » 15 Hilarious Pics of Accidental Phallic Symbols

Friday 23 March 9:30:00 UTC 2012

When you pay attention, you start seeing schlongs everywhere! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Carrottop. Carrotbottom. Carrotmiddle. Carrotarm. Carrotleg. Carrotboob [Weird]

Friday 23 March 9:29:00 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip for the disabled – Do not leave your wheelchair unattended. Society HAS crumbled and your wheelchair WILL be stolen [Sad]

Friday 23 March 9:23:00 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stray dog saves teenage girl from attack by sex offender. Seriously [Florida]

Friday 23 March 8:47:12 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [74 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anon says FML

Friday 23 March 7:20:19 UTC 2012

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Chey says FML

Friday 23 March 7:20:18 UTC 2012

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Katrina: the gift that keeps on giving [Sad]

Friday 23 March 7:12:00 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [192 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After a man was murdered on a dark stretch of a bike trail, city council decides it's best to add: A) Lights B) Police patrols C) A memorial bench [Stupid]

Friday 23 March 6:44:15 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not News: Fight outside of school. News: Prearranged on Facebook. FARK: Between two Moms [Interesting]

Friday 23 March 6:05:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: City Manager dumps his entire workload on his two assistants. Fark: Because he laid *himself* off in order to cut costs [Interesting]

Friday 23 March 5:18:24 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's not every day you get "G-strings" and "nuns" in the same headline [Amusing]

Friday 23 March 5:03:13 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Dilbert Daily Strip » Comic for March 23, 2012

Friday 23 March 5:00:00 UTC 2012

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you send someone your money to be cleansed of evil spirits, and your Rolex because the crystal is a demon portal, they might just keep it [Florida]

Friday 23 March 4:47:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [42 comments] [Link]

xkcd.com » Formal Logic

Friday 23 March 4:00:00 UTC 2012

Note that this implies you should NOT honk solely because I stopped for a pedestrian and you're behind me. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Escalades have a lot of features but babysitting 11-week old twins while you shop is not one of them [Scary]

Friday 23 March 3:02:32 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Late Movies: Guess The Theme 46

Friday 23 March 2:30:39 UTC 2012

Happy spring, _flossers! It’s Thursday night, which means, once again, it’s time for the game that’s sweeping the nation…GUESS THE THEME! All the clips below have something in common. Leave your best guesses in the comments. The Beatles – “Blackbird” Bob Marley – “Buffalo Soldier” Owl City – “Fireflies” R.E.M. – “Orange Crush” The Commodores – “Brick House” [Link]

PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » The Catalan Tourist Board: Guerrilla division

Friday 23 March 2:06:33 UTC 2012

Eerac and I are literally in the process of booking a holiday rental apartment in Barcelona for an upcoming vacation with our respective partners. Today, this photo showed up a the top of the PAN inbox. Matt from the U.K. says he spotted it hanging from a window in — of course — Barcelona. Meanwhile, elsewhere in Barcelona… (photo credit: … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Friday 23 March 1:55:49 UTC 2012

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML [Link]

FMyLife » busfail says FML

Friday 23 March 0:00:50 UTC 2012

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cleared out camp [Photoshop]

Friday 23 March 0:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [33 comments] [Link]

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