John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.” RSS » When choosing "moped" as your getaway vehicle, do not be shocked when the police catch up to you mere blocks from the 7-11 you just robbed [Amusing]

Thursday 8 March 23:50:53 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Thing That Rest Of Room Immediately Forgot Man Said To Be Remembered By Man With Deep Shame For Rest Of His Life

Thursday 8 March 23:45:00 UTC 2012

Thing That Rest Of Room Immediately Forgot Man Said To Be Remembered By Man With Deep Shame For Rest Of His Life [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: North Korean Relations May Be Thawing

Thursday 8 March 23:00:00 UTC 2012

Last week, North Korea announced it would suspend nuclear weapons tests and uranium enrichment in exchange for food aid, possibly signaling a desire for renewed negotiations with the United States. Here are some other ways relations will improve: [Link] RSS » Photo of a goat eating in a NYC pizzeria surfaces. NYers are obviously stunned and appalled…… the goat's choice in pizza [Amusing]

Thursday 8 March 22:59:43 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » “The Rich Man”

Thursday 8 March 22:47:35 UTC 2012

The rich man has his motor-car,
His country and his town estate.
He smokes a fifty-cent cigar
And jeers at Fate. He frivols through the livelong day,
He knows not Poverty her pinch.
His lot seems light, his heart seems gay,
He has a cinch. Yet though my lamp burns low and dim,
Though I must slave for livelihood – … [Link] RSS » Pitching a tent never looked so fun [Cool]

Thursday 8 March 22:46:57 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [99 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » hungry says FML

Thursday 8 March 22:35:00 UTC 2012

Today, I'm participating in a 30 hour awareness-raising event on famine in Africa. I'm supposed to hand out leaflets to people from my booth. My school decided to hand out a literal crate-load of free cupcakes right in front of us. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Fraser says FML

Thursday 8 March 22:34:59 UTC 2012

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML [Link]

The Onion » Teen's Death Hits Reporter Hard

Thursday 8 March 22:15:00 UTC 2012

When a community loses a teen in a drunk driving accident, it's Onion News Network reporter O'Brady Shaw who is most emotionally devastated. [Link] RSS » Today's mug shot round up brought to you by: Chicks arrested in Florida that you'd totally hit [Florida]

Thursday 8 March 22:05:55 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [179 comments] [Link] RSS » The coolest portraits created with soot you will see all day [Cool]

Thursday 8 March 21:56:37 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » Robbers beat cat trapper, steal his pants [Sad]

Thursday 8 March 21:53:46 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [28 comments] [Link] RSS » Michigan to lottery winner collecting public assistance: No you can't have food stamps. Not Yours [Followup]

Thursday 8 March 21:50:42 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [186 comments] [Link] RSS » $7.5 Million in renovations later, a New Jersey courthouse is declared "constitutionally defective" by a Judge [Asinine]

Thursday 8 March 21:31:35 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [47 comments] [Link] RSS » Officials searching San Francisco bay for crashed Klingon war bird [Interesting]

Thursday 8 March 21:24:49 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [68 comments] [Link] RSS » Fight attendants say electronic devices are now the number one cause of unruly behavior by passengers who can't understand how they can flummox a 747-8 Intercontinental with something they bought at Radio Shack [Obvious]

Thursday 8 March 21:16:42 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [354 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Statshot: What Are We Getting Home-Delivered?

Thursday 8 March 21:15:00 UTC 2012

What Are We Getting Home-Delivered? [Link] RSS » US envoy said to be 'confident' Best Korean food aid will go to those who 'really need it,' like those impoverished, starving generals and members of the inner circle of government [Unlikely]

Thursday 8 March 21:14:00 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [42 comments] [Link] RSS » Unemployed? It could be worse: How to completely, utterly destroy an employee's work life [Interesting]

Thursday 8 March 21:07:53 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » At the Libraries: Little Libraries Abound

Thursday 8 March 21:04:13 UTC 2012

Each week Miss Kathleen provides links to a variety of stories about libraries, authors, and books. If there’s something noteworthy going on in your local library, leave us a comment!
Little libraries abound this month! Here is one in a phone booth in New York. I didn’t even know they still had phone booths!
And USA Today has a … [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 of the Most Beloved Sherman Brothers Songs

Thursday 8 March 21:04:12 UTC 2012

Whether you’re a Disney fan or not, chances are pretty good that you’ve had a Sherman Brothers song firmly stuck in your head at one point or another. The songwriting duo got their big break when Annette Funicello turned one of their songs – “Tall Paul (He’s My All)” into a hit in the late ‘50s. Disney asked them to … [Link] RSS » Suburban housewife/NYC madam's money bags has been ID'd as Morgan Stanley banker [Followup]

Thursday 8 March 21:00:54 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [31 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop this pleasing portrait [Photoshop]

Thursday 8 March 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » What part of OLRTXT HARW DPR REC NAMEC CASE1 EMRG HK US CN HDWR NEWS ENT;0334.HK AAPL.O do you not understand? [Obvious]

Thursday 8 March 20:53:02 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [59 comments] [Link] RSS » Politician goes undercover to get insight on how to better help the homeless- wait, are we sure he's actually a politician? [Interesting]

Thursday 8 March 20:50:39 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link] RSS » Pro Tip: When calling in a fake bomb threat to get out of a test, it's best NOT to use your own cell phone [Dumbass]

Thursday 8 March 20:39:33 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » No man is an island. This man is a union, though [Interesting]

Thursday 8 March 20:38:45 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [15 comments] [Link] RSS » Leave it up to Volvo to develop an airbag that will deflect pedestrians when you plow into them [Cool]

Thursday 8 March 20:35:59 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [46 comments] [Link] RSS » Something old, something new, something borrowed, something something restraining order [Scary]

Thursday 8 March 20:34:52 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [13 comments] [Link] RSS » FDA: Your skin cream may remove freckles, blemishes, heartbeat [Scary]

Thursday 8 March 20:31:47 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [14 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Entertainment Writer Has Knack For Making Complex Pop Culture Concepts Accessible To Lay Readers

Thursday 8 March 20:15:00 UTC 2012

LOS ANGELES—Lauded by colleagues and readers alike for his lucid reportage, entertainment writer Paul Veist has an unparalleled knack for taking even the most complicated pop culture concepts and making them accessible for those with little or no te… [Link]

Mental Floss » It Came From Space! Man-Made Objects That Crashed Back to Earth

Thursday 8 March 20:13:18 UTC 2012

Most orbital debris is in low Earth orbit, where “what goes up must come down” — derelict satellites, spent rocket boosters, explosive bolt shrapnel, payload fairings, interstage structures, payload adapters, spin-up counterweights, and more. Most reentering debris is small and burns up on reentry. But some of it is large and survives reentry. Occasionally, people even find it. To date, … [Link] RSS » Lamborghini has made the Mach V. In red. A 700-horsepower, 6.5-liter V12 engine. And you can't have it [Cool]

Thursday 8 March 20:11:52 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [120 comments] [Link] RSS » Portland nursing assistant sent to jail after posting dying patient's buttocks on Facebook what the hell? [Dumbass]

Thursday 8 March 20:05:34 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [57 comments] [Link] RSS » Baby who was pronounced dead at birth but was then revived by a hug turns two [Followup]

Thursday 8 March 20:03:51 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [37 comments] [Link] RSS » Top pics from the 9th annual Smithsonian photo contest. (Prepare for slideshow rage) [Interesting]

Thursday 8 March 20:00:48 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [18 comments] [Link] RSS » If you're going to try to rob a place, you might want to avoid writing down your contact information on a job application after the clerk talks you out of the robbery [Florida]

Thursday 8 March 19:56:58 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [11 comments] [Link] RSS » Live feed coming in from Western Psychiatric Institute shooting. Five shot, including police officer, shooter/s still at large [NewsFlash]

Thursday 8 March 19:43:45 UTC 2012

NewsFlash [link] [280 comments] [Link] RSS » Man bakes donuts with unique ingredient, sends them to contest judges over and over and over and over until he finally wins [Spiffy]

Thursday 8 March 19:34:36 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » Safety committee suggests neighbors meet gang members and drug dealers. Go talk to Lord Humungus, he seems reasonable [Unlikely]

Thursday 8 March 19:32:56 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [50 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Robot 'Cheetah' Sets Land Speed Record

Thursday 8 March 19:26:27 UTC 2012

A quadrupedal machine known as the Cheetah set a land-speed record for legged robots, running 18 mph on a treadmill in a U.S. [Link] RSS » Kazakhstan's Kostanay regional festival of skiing has its own very special version of the Rick Roll…with a whole different Rick [Amusing]

Thursday 8 March 19:24:45 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [8 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » littlekellilee says FML

Thursday 8 March 19:24:42 UTC 2012

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML [Link]

FMyLife » hairy says FML

Thursday 8 March 19:24:41 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently my nose hair scares him. FML [Link] RSS » Austin just got a little less weird. RIP Leslie Cochran [Sad]

Thursday 8 March 19:10:57 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [84 comments] [Link] RSS » Pygmy goat loose in Michigan town, cracking windows and causing an adorable bit of havoc [Amusing]

Thursday 8 March 19:00:53 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link] RSS » Los Angeles high school under lockdown after racially-motivated brawl involving thirty students that left four injured and two under arrest, or as we use to call it at my alma mater, "recess" [Obvious]

Thursday 8 March 18:53:38 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [67 comments] [Link] RSS » Don't tase, mace, dazzle and/or shoot me, bro [Interesting]

Thursday 8 March 18:48:52 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Minor Differences Part 5

Thursday 8 March 18:40:00 UTC 2012

Minor Differences Part 5Butter, beards, and tattoos. View [Link] RSS » "The Sheriff's Office insists in court documents that the use of a tank, a bomb robot and 40 deputies was part of its normal course of duties" in arresting a man for owning chickens [Followup]

Thursday 8 March 18:38:50 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [71 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Best Part Of Gay 12-Year-Old’s Day Half Hour Spent Eating Lunch Alone On Staircase

Thursday 8 March 18:37:00 UTC 2012

SAGINAW, MI—According to Franklin Middle School seventh-grader and closeted homosexual Ben McElroy, the highlight of his day is the 30 minutes between third and fourth period when he eats lunch on a staircase by himself. "It's nice to eat alone… [Link] RSS » Fox reporter pretty much sums up the feeling of the 2012 GOP field [Obvious]

Thursday 8 March 18:06:54 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [63 comments] [Link] RSS » The Long Shadow of Chernobyl (some photos are NSFW) [Sad]

Thursday 8 March 17:54:04 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [152 comments] [Link] RSS » Journalism 101: Make sure the image you choose to illustrate your new article isn't from an old news story, doesn't contains the words "eat ass" [Fail]

Thursday 8 March 17:51:46 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [44 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Arcane Arcade

Thursday 8 March 17:35:00 UTC 2012

Arcane Arcade [Link]

FMyLife » wtf says FML

Thursday 8 March 17:33:32 UTC 2012

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML [Link]

FMyLife » stuckonrepeat says FML

Thursday 8 March 17:33:31 UTC 2012

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » TNG Season 8: The Best Twitter Feed for Star Trek Nerds

Thursday 8 March 17:26:54 UTC 2012

If you’re a Trek fan, there’s an embarrassment of riches for you on Twitter — you can follow cast members including Wil Wheaton, LeVar Burton, Brent Spiner, heck — even Shatner and Nimoy are tweeting! But while their feeds are great, they’re not the best. The best Twitter feed for Trek fans (especially fans of The Next Generation) is a … [Link] RSS » Mayor: What's a little prostitution amongst Council members? [Strange]

Thursday 8 March 17:17:57 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [31 comments] [Link] RSS » File under "Now why didn't I think of that". OU student installs hot tub in dorm room. Not too surprisingly school officials aren't pleased. Claims of homework for his anatomy & human sexuality classes fall on deaf ears [Spiffy]

Thursday 8 March 17:11:43 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Legendary Athletes Who Finished Up With Another Team

Thursday 8 March 17:10:53 UTC 2012

SAM RICHE/MCT /Landov On Wednesday, Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts officially parted ways after 14 seasons. We’ll soon find out where the four-time MVP, who choked up at his goodbye press conference, will resume his NFL career. When it comes to Hall of Famers who spent the majority of their careers with one franchise before retiring with another, the … [Link] RSS » Being drunk in a Wendy's drive through and telling the workers that you just saved them from being robbed by three imaginary people will not get you a free burger. It does, however, get you a free jail cell [Florida]

Thursday 8 March 17:07:27 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link] RSS » British look up from their tea to watch Brazil take their place as world's sixth largest economy, feel they're entitled to fifth [Interesting]

Thursday 8 March 17:01:55 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Is It Capitalized?

Thursday 8 March 17:00:45 UTC 2012

pagehead_lunchtimequiz550.jpg It’s a simple game: We’ll give you a brand name or title and pick out a letter, you choose whether it’s capitalized or lowercase. The answers may not be as obvious as you think. We’re basing this off the official brand name or title, so be sure to think about that, not any place you’ve seen it printed elsewhere. Take … [Link] RSS » Pregnant Snooki learns three new words: Fetal alcohol syndrome [Dumbass]

Thursday 8 March 16:59:58 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [156 comments] [Link] RSS » Atheists want you to come out of your closet (unless that closet is atheism) [Sad]

Thursday 8 March 16:53:59 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [558 comments] [Link] RSS » Keyless car ignitions are too scary; Florida soon to mandate return to buggy whips. Gas station attendants, bank tellers, and newspaper printers keeping fingers crossed [Florida]

Thursday 8 March 16:53:52 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [137 comments] [Link] RSS » Man is outraged after being kicked out of public pool for skinny dipping. Just kidding, he was kicked out because his swim suit was too long [Strange]

Thursday 8 March 16:44:14 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [42 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anon says FML

Thursday 8 March 16:23:57 UTC 2012

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML [Link] RSS » Getting a ticket for using a cell phone while driving sucks…especially when you don't even own or use a cell phone [Asinine]

Thursday 8 March 16:06:54 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Pieces of Eight

Thursday 8 March 15:56:10 UTC 2012

I had a recent dream where the number “8″ kept popping up. It didn’t help me win the lottery, so I decided to employ it in today’s Brain Game Think Thursday challenge instead. Enjoy! Using one or more instances of “8′s” and plus signs
(but no other numbers or symbols),
create an equation that exactly equals 1,000. Here is … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: That Magic ‘Touch’

Thursday 8 March 15:56:09 UTC 2012

Today’s 5 Question quiz wants to know if you have That Magic ‘Touch’. [Link] RSS » Satellite photos show conclusive proof Saddam is hiding his mobile biological weapons plant to avoid inspection [Scary]

Thursday 8 March 15:38:26 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [261 comments] [Link] RSS » Having a bad day? Well at least you didn't get a $600 speeding ticket for going 14 miles over the limit, threaten to kill an officer and crash into a tree during the saddest police chase ever [Florida]

Thursday 8 March 15:31:12 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [37 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Everyone On Campus Afraid Of That One Bar

Thursday 8 March 15:30:00 UTC 2012

Everyone On Campus Afraid Of That One Bar [Link] RSS » Some people just can't handle technology: Bill sponsor pushes wrong button and ends up as the lone vote in opposition of her own bill [Amusing]

Thursday 8 March 15:26:44 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [35 comments] [Link] RSS » Despite being told no, woman paints fingernails during flight. Cops waiting at airport with a digital message [Dumbass]

Thursday 8 March 15:19:18 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [131 comments] [Link] RSS » Obama to Israel: you like advanced weaponry, right? Well, I like it when nothing happens that could hurt my re-election chances. Maybe we can make a deal? [Asinine]

Thursday 8 March 15:12:02 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [162 comments] [Link] RSS » Used car dealer accused of watching too much Ferris Bueller [Dumbass]

Thursday 8 March 15:08:40 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » New study shows that marriage can keep your heart healthier after surgery. Unless, you know, it's the marriage that put you there in the first place. Then you're pretty much screwed [Interesting]

Thursday 8 March 15:07:21 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Fairy Tale Castles

Thursday 8 March 15:07:17 UTC 2012

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful young girl, who was a lot like you. She had no mother to protect her, and suffered some horrible injustice at the hands of someone who was jealous of her beauty. But eventually, Prince Charming came along on a white horse and rescued her. He took her off to his fabulous castle, … [Link] RSS » After three years, Lehman Brothers emerges from bankruptcy. Company hopes to now achieve delicate balance between business irresponsibility and corporate fraud [Followup]

Thursday 8 March 15:03:57 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [14 comments] [Link] RSS » Sluts vote. GOP just now realizing this [Obvious]

Thursday 8 March 14:50:03 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [674 comments] [Link] RSS » Customer management 101 (final exam): When a buyer complains their newly-purchased loveseat is full of bedbugs, do you A) offer a full refund; B) Send an exterminator to settle the issue; or C) pull out a gun and say you're tired of this [Florida

Thursday 8 March 14:46:57 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Thursday 8 March 14:46:49 UTC 2012

adj. of or resembling a goose In 1936, Polish mathematician Stanislaw Mazur offered a live goose to the first person who could determine whether every Banach space has a Schauder basis. Thirty-seven years later, his Swedish colleague Per Enflo claimed the prize. The ceremony was broadcast throughout Poland. (Thanks, Jeremy.) In the public gardens at Halifax, there is an … [Link] RSS » Scientists measure first antimatter "atom", remarking that it appears very much like a normal atom except for the tiny little goatee [Cool]

Thursday 8 March 14:27:57 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [90 comments] [Link] RSS » Sweden: where the populace is beautiful and well-educated, and only occasionally do you get teenagers jumping onto your hood and stabbing a sword through your windshield [Scary]

Thursday 8 March 14:15:02 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Two Sixties Trailers

Thursday 8 March 14:06:59 UTC 2012

Karloff and Price–how could you go wrong with this double bill? Oh, I should watch them before I say that?

Comments [Link] RSS » Iron photoshop ingredient: 1950's Hawaii [Photoshop]

Thursday 8 March 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link] RSS » After trying out to be Goofy, Spanx inventor becomes youngest female self-made billionaire [Spiffy]

Thursday 8 March 13:42:56 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [82 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Bat Bomb

Thursday 8 March 13:30:29 UTC 2012

A few weeks ago, Paul posted about a plan the U.S. military cooked up during WWII to destroy Japan by triggering volcanic explosions. The article below describes a similarly mad plan — the Bat Bomb. The idea was to strap incendiary devices to bats, and then drop the bats on Japanese cities.

I scanned the article from the Atlantic Monthly, … [Link] RSS » Bank worker dies after taking too many caffeine pills. I guess they don't air Saved By the Bell episodes in Britain [Sad]

Thursday 8 March 13:28:18 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [46 comments] [Link] RSS » Good: Family offered free funeral and casket. Bad: because their mother's body was molested by funeral home employee. Fark: Again [Sick]

Thursday 8 March 13:26:46 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [86 comments] [Link] RSS » The biggest solar storm in five years is now hitting Earth. THE SUN IS HERE, EVERYBODY PANIC [Followup]

Thursday 8 March 13:17:45 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [96 comments] [Link] RSS » Greece only hours away from defaulting, or if the admins have been drinking, already will have by the time this gets greenlit [Scary]

Thursday 8 March 13:17:22 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [56 comments] [Link] RSS » 70 year old woman lives on a vegan diet and rainwater, has the face/body of a 40 year old. With hell-yes-you'd-hit-it pics [Spiffy]

Thursday 8 March 11:38:03 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [167 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » thatchick3333 says FML

Thursday 8 March 11:36:16 UTC 2012

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML [Link] » 10 Incredibly Nice Robbers

Thursday 8 March 11:30:00 UTC 2012

From a thief who sent his victim a USB with all the information from his stolen notebook, to another who returned a car after the owner begged him, meet ten criminals who prove that having a soft side is bad for business. [Link]

FMyLife » Honey Badger says FML

Thursday 8 March 10:47:48 UTC 2012

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML [Link] RSS » Daylight Saving Time: The silent killer [Scary]

Thursday 8 March 10:10:49 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Solar Storm

Thursday 8 March 10:08:38 UTC 2012

A massive solar flare has produced the biggest solar storm in five years, which will reach Earth today, possibly causing satellite outages. The good news is that it looks really cool on video.
Six Things You Might Not Know About Purim. And number 7: It started yesterday and lasts until sundown tonight.
So, Who Exactly Is Joseph Kony … [Link] RSS » 19-year-old hottie can't have kids so she collects creepy-ass dolls (w/pics) [Sad]

Thursday 8 March 9:55:44 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [153 comments] [Link] RSS » How reddit saved one man's life…aside from keeping him out of the sun's harmful UV rays [Cool]

Thursday 8 March 9:40:00 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link] RSS » You're not going to believe this, but there are actually some women in the world who have a small problem with laundry instructions in men's pants that say, "give it to your woman, it's her job" [Obvious]

Thursday 8 March 9:00:00 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [108 comments] [Link] RSS » Not News: Dog saves owners life. Fark: FOUR TIMES [Hero]

Thursday 8 March 8:57:00 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [28 comments] [Link] RSS » If you lost a tiny piglet in Hawaii it hasn't been eaten yet [Sappy]

Thursday 8 March 8:53:00 UTC 2012

Sappy [link] [25 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Kayla_Zee_Ninja says FML

Thursday 8 March 8:28:38 UTC 2012

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Janitor says FML

Thursday 8 March 8:28:37 UTC 2012

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Hungrytoothbrush says FML

Thursday 8 March 8:28:36 UTC 2012

Today, I spat up blood and had horrible chest pain. My mom still made me go to school, claiming she needed to take the cat to the vet instead of me to the doctor. FML [Link] RSS » Florida finally does something about a huge problem plaguing society. No, not prescription drug abuse. Imprisoned pregnant women in labor making a break for it [Florida]

Thursday 8 March 7:28:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link] RSS » The man stands accused of committing criminal mischief with cheese [Dumbass]

Thursday 8 March 6:33:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [37 comments] [Link] RSS » You have the right to an attorney. Anything you say… ZZZZZZZ… Hey, listen to us. You have the right to… ZZZZZZZZ [Amusing]

Thursday 8 March 6:10:00 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Fact and Fiction

Thursday 8 March 6:04:22 UTC 2012

Wonder Woman and her Lasso of Truth were created by a pioneer in lie detectors. While a graduate student at Harvard after World War I, William Moulton Marston had developed a systolic blood pressure test to detect deception. Twenty-five years later, while proposing a female superhero to DC Comics, he suggested a magic lasso that would force those it captured … [Link] RSS » Teen is banned from throwing ________ at people. A) Rocks. B) Poop. C) Snowballs [Strange]

Thursday 8 March 5:18:14 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [55 comments] [Link] RSS » 'Brosiery' and 'mantyhose' take off as men seek warmth, comfort and to make a 'fashion statement'. Joe Namath: Been there done that [Strange]

Thursday 8 March 5:15:00 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [79 comments] [Link] RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 357: "Instant Inspiration" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest [Farktography]

Thursday 8 March 5:01:00 UTC 2012

Farktography [link] [49 comments] [Link] RSS » Amidst a flurry of deadly tornadoes, five miraculous stories of survival — including the mom who shielded her children with her own body, losing a leg in the process [Hero]

Thursday 8 March 4:56:58 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [9 comments] [Link] RSS » Principal slut-shames 8th-grade girl at school assembly, forcing her to drop out [Sad]

Thursday 8 March 4:44:19 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [301 comments] [Link] RSS » School District to Parents: We've suspended the hot middle-school science teacher who appears in pr0n. Also? It would be helpful if you'd discourage your child from watching her extracurricular activities online [Fail]

Thursday 8 March 4:07:18 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [137 comments] [Link] RSS » Why has Chuck E. Cheese become a magnet for out and out violent, insane brawls between adults? A Chuck E. Cheese expert weighs in [Silly]

Thursday 8 March 3:39:20 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [106 comments] [Link] RSS » Five American things the Brits secretly envy. Teeth strangely absent [Amusing]

Thursday 8 March 3:07:12 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [162 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Late Movies: Johnny Castaway

Thursday 8 March 3:00:10 UTC 2012

The Late Movies Last week I posted a roundup of classic screensavers, but many commenters pointed out a big one that I missed: Johnny Castaway. Somehow, I had never seen Johnny! And that’s odd, because it’s epic, and apparently pretty popular. Johnny Castaway showed a man (the eponymous Johnny) on a small island with a single palm tree. He wanders around and performs … [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Exploding Toilets

Thursday 8 March 2:00:21 UTC 2012

Room and board is $12,633 at the University of Chicago, which leads one to ask, how much for a dorm where the toilets DON"T explode slinging excrement and broken porcelain everywhere??

Comments [Link] RSS » The Melvins are selling their van, which features artwork by Kurt Cobain on the side. I CALL SHOTGUN [Cool]

Thursday 8 March 1:41:49 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [50 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop this net meeting [Photoshop]

Thursday 8 March 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

The Onion » TV Listings: Up All Night

Thursday 8 March 1:00:00 UTC 2012

NBC 9:30 p.m. EST/8:30 p.m. CST Producers kill off the baby character after they decide she just isn't working. [Link]

The Onion »  Peyton Manning Goes On 3-Day Football-Playing Binge After Being Dumped By Colts

Thursday 8 March 0:30:00 UTC 2012

News is breaking all over Indy as the Giants reveal their plans to tackle Tom Brady, Belichick rallies the troops with genital mutilation, and Peyton Manning gets over the Colts with some casual football. [Link] RSS » Student: I have a hearing disability. School: You don't listen, so you have a disciplinary problem. You're expelled. Student: Fine. Here's a lawsuit. School: What? [Obvious]

Thursday 8 March 0:25:32 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [241 comments] [Link]

The Onion » NYSSA, OR—Look, all Doug Kerby is saying is, Pete Townshend's just pissing away good money by not letting Family Dollar or someone use "Bargain" in an ad campaign.

Thursday 8 March 0:00:00 UTC 2012

NYSSA, OR—Look, all Doug Kerby is saying is, Pete Townshend's just pissing away good money by not letting Family Dollar or someone use "Bargain" in an ad campaign. [Link]


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