John Gordon Ross

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » A 27-year-old mother arrested for allowing her 27-year-old boyfriend to beat up her 4-year-old. Complete with a "Damn that's a hard 27" mugshot [Dumbass]

Tuesday 13 February 23:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Pastor says nothing weird was going on with the bound, naked man in his car [Unlikely]

Tuesday 13 February 23:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The new I-66 tolls are a great deal for people whose time is worth over $200 per hour [Stupid]

Tuesday 13 February 23:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Who wouldn't want their spaghetti topped with hamburger patties, bacon, fried eggs, cheese, and potato salad? (pics) [Awkward]

Tuesday 13 February 23:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » You thought the White House daily press briefings were torture? Watch this precious snowflake scream and run amok for 8 hours on a flight from Germany to NJ…you'll never complain again [Video]

Tuesday 13 February 22:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Christian College justice: Kiss your same sex partner? That's an expelling. "Haze" your teammate as a group by tackling him, binding him with duct-tape, and sodomizing him while pretending to be a "Muslim goat farker?" That's

Tuesday 13 February 22:35:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » What lessons are today's teenagers learning from online porn? Wait, teenagers are watching porn? Aren't those age verification questions keeping them off the porn sites? [Interesting]

Tuesday 13 February 22:16:44 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Do we really want to eliminate the HAND GRENADE competency requirement from basic training? [Scary]

Tuesday 13 February 21:49:10 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Figure skaters nix move that resembles oral sex, win gold. Doesn't it usually work the other way around? [Amusing]

Tuesday 13 February 21:41:30 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bathing beauty [Photoshop]

Tuesday 13 February 21:00:01 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » New hotness: butt facials. Wait, it's not what you think [Stupid]

Tuesday 13 February 20:50:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Everyone's just showing off [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 13 February 20:45:08 UTC 2018

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Futility Closet » A Clueless Crossword

Tuesday 13 February 19:30:15 UTC 2018

From Lee Sallows: SelectClick for Answer (Thanks, Lee!) [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Awkward: breaking up with your boyfriend. Really awkward: he's a celebrity. Fark awkward: you get arrested for putting a hidden camera in his place [Awkward]

Tuesday 13 February 19:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-02-04 to Sat 2018-02-10 [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 13 February 18:36:39 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » "Shut the f— up!" White powder letter sent to Trump daughter-in-law's NYC home was just four sentences long — and wasn't very nice [Followup]

Tuesday 13 February 18:25:51 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Researcher submits paper to ten journals studying the effects of Warp 10 on human biology, referencing that Star Trek Voyager episode where Janeway turned into a lizard as its factual basis. Four of them accept it for publication [Silly]

Tuesday 13 February 17:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » A red-tailed hawk has taken up residence atop Washington's National Cathedral. Now, he just needs a name [Cool]

Tuesday 13 February 17:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Dozens of Russians believed killed in U.S.-led Syria attack [News]

Tuesday 13 February 17:25:22 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit issue reveals that there is no one left here reading this (probably NSFW) [Cool]

Tuesday 13 February 17:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Elementary school teacher arrested on drug charges hasn't blinked in days [Dumbass]

Tuesday 13 February 17:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » When girls show their boobies at Mardi Gras, they "don't want itty-bitty beads," said attorney who gives out small plastic toilets [Strange]

Tuesday 13 February 16:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » This just in: Time traveler from 2030 risks his life to come back and let us know what the future has in store. Bonus: He passed a lie detector test [Unlikely]

Tuesday 13 February 16:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » While most gangs and cartels sell drugs, a gang in Pakistan is trading spinal fluids [Strange]

Tuesday 13 February 16:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Florida Man calls, beats woman's 14 cattle eye worms with pork tapeworm in his eye that wants to eat his brain. Eye worm trifecta in play [Florida]

Tuesday 13 February 15:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » "Blood-covered" man jumps from second-story window, lands on car, goes on "rampage". Finishes up with a rousing "Ta-DAAHHHH" [Scary]

Tuesday 13 February 15:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Ronald McDonald statues get makeovers so they can haunt another generation [Creepy]

Tuesday 13 February 15:05:03 UTC 2018

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Weird Universe » The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang

Tuesday 13 February 15:01:01 UTC 2018

The Fonz and friends do time-travel.

The Wikipedia page. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom accused of feeding child hydrochloric acid, chlorine in attempt to cure autism, says a Tide pod chaser will neutralize everything [Asinine]

Tuesday 13 February 14:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Heart condition affects man's memory, causes him to forget wife was 9 months pregnant after he spends 18 days in a medically induced coma. Bonus: Baby was 7 pounds, 11 ounces, and he works at 7-Eleven [Interesting]

Tuesday 13 February 14:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Good idea: If arguing with your partner just keep driving. Bad idea: Pulling the car's emergency brake at 60 mph while arguing [Scary]

Tuesday 13 February 14:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these Martians in training [Photoshop]

Tuesday 13 February 14:00:01 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Three words: Singing Furby Organ [Weird]

Tuesday 13 February 13:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » It's like that scene in "Total Recall," but with a woman and a handbag [Dumbass]

Tuesday 13 February 13:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Iran accuses the US of using lizards to spy on nuclear facilities [Facepalm]

Tuesday 13 February 13:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Women flee Him [Obvious]

Tuesday 13 February 12:42:02 UTC 2018

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Weird Universe » Disco Star Wars

Tuesday 13 February 12:41:10 UTC 2018

After Meco Monardo created a hit disco version of the Star Wars soundtrack in 1977, the next album he planned was Meco's Time Machine. He explained, "We'll visit eight different time periods of Earth's history and observe events. Those events will be translated into music. We'll start before the dawn of man, in prehistoric times, and we'll end in New … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Looks like we will have a guaranteed supply of Florida Man stories for years to come [Florida]

Tuesday 13 February 11:15:13 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Oregon woman discovers 14 cattle worms in her eyes. She only wishes she died from dysentery [Creepy]

Tuesday 13 February 10:48:02 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » A new study finds that over 90 percent of elderly people claim their lives were improved by medical marijuana. Soon the wastelands will be threatened by roving gangs of geriatric punks [Cool]

Tuesday 13 February 9:20:45 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » California's other drought: a major earthquake is long overdue [PSA]

Tuesday 13 February 9:02:03 UTC 2018

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GraphJam » Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Tuesday 13 February 8:54:01 UTC 2018

Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: go , jurassic park , preggers , scooby doo , stay Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like Hyperbole

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:59 UTC 2018

Graph by: Sandshrew Tagged: hyperbole , exaggerated , percentage , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hopefully Not in That Order

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:55 UTC 2018

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: club scene , lyrics , Pie Chart , pop songs , tonight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Workplace Urgency

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:50 UTC 2018

Graph by: charliepacific29 Tagged: days , FRIDAY , likely , task , urgency , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Probably Should Have Started It By Now…

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:49 UTC 2018

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: homework , internet connection , online games , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Pay In Cash for the Change

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:47 UTC 2018

Graph by: MattSTKC Tagged: bank , laundry money , Pie Chart , quarters Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Think I Missed It

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:46 UTC 2018

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: I see what you did there Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Muy Bueno

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:45 UTC 2018

Graph by: lucas_fg Tagged: me gusta , Pie Chart , spanish , vocab Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What People Do When They Find a Paperclip

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:44 UTC 2018

Graph by: 456789yay Tagged: break , find , hold , paper , paperclip , Pie Chart , throw , use Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Perfect Criminal

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:36 UTC 2018

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: no hair , no hair , fingerprints , twins , fingerprints , twins Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's What's on the Inside That Counts

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:33 UTC 2018

Submitted by: (via Your Wildlife) Tagged: manhattan , population , ants Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Maybe They're an Expert

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:32 UTC 2018

Graph by: kram-alukes Tagged: answer , best , expert , Pie Chart , yahoo answers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just How Funny Are Scuba Farts?

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:29 UTC 2018

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: demetri martin , flip chart , infographic , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Re: music

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:21 UTC 2018

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: band , friend , like , love , Music , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » No Matter What You're Doing, it Involves Tears

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:20 UTC 2018

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: jokes , crying , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's a Reference!

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:19 UTC 2018

Graph by: NinjaKitten24 Tagged: admiral ackbar , its a trap , Pie Chart , quote , reference , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Strategy for playing minesweeper

Tuesday 13 February 8:53:17 UTC 2018

Graph by: daniandan Tagged: Minesweeper , Pie Chart , strategy Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Author reviews the christian bible, concludes it is poorly written. Evangelical christians react about as you'd expect [Obvious]

Tuesday 13 February 8:30:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Police respond to man threatening suicide, thwart him as only they can [Fail]

Tuesday 13 February 8:19:42 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » In a shocking development, red Camaro driver with the vanity plate "DIRTBAG" falls out of contention for citizen of the year [Obvious]

Tuesday 13 February 7:51:31 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Is your child spending too much time talking to fire? You better read this [Satire]

Tuesday 13 February 7:10:42 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The father who lunged at Larry Nassar during his trial won't be facing any charges [Followup]

Tuesday 13 February 6:43:42 UTC 2018

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Futility Closet » Men in Aida

Tuesday 13 February 6:10:06 UTC 2018

In 1983 poet David Melnick reinterpreted the first book of Homer’s Iliad by brutely understanding the spoken Greek as English, producing a bathhouse farce: Men in Aida, they appeal, eh? A day, O Achilles.
Allow men in, emery Achaians. All gay ethic, eh?
Paul asked if team mousse suck, as Aida, pro, yaps in.
Here on a Tuesday. “Hello,” Rhea … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman gets so drunk on a plane she "flirtatiously" strokes stranger's head, throws food, kicks a flight attendant, causes the plane to be diverted, passes out just before landing… and wins every "worst flight" conversation for t

Tuesday 13 February 5:40:40 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Two more members of powerful Baltimore street gang convicted [Followup]

Tuesday 13 February 5:21:42 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Teenage girl tries to join ISIS twice and is turned away at customs, settles for going Jihad on local college with a bag of matches. Subby amazed something could hold a teenager's attention for so long [Dumbass]

Tuesday 13 February 4:33:41 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Twenty-five years of data show that the high hardcore drug holiday known as "4/20" leads to a dramatic rise in car crashes. Tell us again how THC is less harmful than alcohol [Scary]

Tuesday 13 February 4:17:42 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Graphics error blamed for causing a Chicago news station to confuse Pyeongchang and P.F. Chang's [Fail]

Tuesday 13 February 4:05:23 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Oh look, a barn door is open and that looks like a horse running off into the distance. Guess we'd better close it now [Fail]

Tuesday 13 February 3:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » There's been a change in procedure. When you call 911 in Spartansburg, Pennsylvania, a child rapist will no longer answer your call for help [Followup]

Tuesday 13 February 3:02:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Friend shoots at flak jacket but misses, hitting butty in the buddocks [Dumbass]

Tuesday 13 February 2:14:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » We've all had that moment when a 2-year-old just won't shut up about the candy bar he wants in the store's checkout line. It's probably not good form to spank their hand and bottom right there in public, particularly when it's not

Tuesday 13 February 2:02:23 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Samoas or Caramel deLites? Tagalongs or Peanut Butter Patties? This helpful map explains it all [Interesting]

Tuesday 13 February 1:45:44 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » When 1-year-old toddler gets into parents' morphine pills, father runs out trailer backdoor to hide while mother flees to cheap hotel. So leave it to mother's boyfriend to stay, call 911 to rescue child. (Bonus: Boyfriend is kid's uncle)

Tuesday 13 February 1:26:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Former KKK leader finds God and now is a security chief at a black church. 'Brother, where there's God's grace, there is no race.' [Cool]

Tuesday 13 February 1:23:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this ice-hole [Photoshop]

Tuesday 13 February 1:00:01 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » National Gallery unveils official portraits of Barack and Michelle Obama. Barack's is by renowned painter Kehinde Wiley, while Michelle's is apparently by the Peoria Middle-School's 8th-grade art class [Awkward]

Tuesday 13 February 0:38:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET). Cowbell and MORE cowbell : 2 hours of songs featuring the cowbell [Live]

Tuesday 13 February 0:30:35 UTC 2018

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