Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » 'The nuclear security office was automatically alerted when two scientists tried hooking the supercomputer up to the internet, in order to mine bitcoins', proving even nuclear physicists can be dumbasses [Dumbass]

Friday 9 February 23:46:41 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » So the games are happening, so far so good. Instead of watching yet another tear-jerker interlude about some athlete's struggle to make the team, come take the Fark Weird News Quiz Jan.28-Feb. 3 Olympic Edition [Cool]

Friday 9 February 22:58:41 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The expected courtroom fireworks in the Silicon Valley "trial of the century" Between Uber and Waymo end up being more like a damp sparkler as Uber throws a quarter-billion dollars at Google to make it go away [Followup]

Friday 9 February 22:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » You can have this baby for 9 low payments of $999.99 [Sick]

Friday 9 February 22:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Adult summer camp is a thing, and, yes, you're still going to go and spend the first three days crying and calling your parents because you want to go home [Strange]

Friday 9 February 22:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Man gives keys to friend "to go to Club Coconuts to pick up strippers for a party," accuses him of stealing car, but handed them to him in a bar with a security camera running. Also, got him popped for DUI for the cherry on top. Some friend [

Friday 9 February 21:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Want to buy a 'brand new' Subaru from the 1980s? A showroom full of them has just opened up in Malta (possible nsfw content on page) [Weird]

Friday 9 February 21:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » "Sorry I made kale cool" [PSA]

Friday 9 February 21:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Let a box of Cap'n Crunch go stale? That's a beatin' [Dumbass]

Friday 9 February 21:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this near perfect pattern distribution [Photoshop]

Friday 9 February 21:00:01 UTC 2018

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Futility Closet » A British Limerick

Friday 9 February 20:50:45 UTC 2018

A young man called Cholmondeley Colquhoun
Kept as a pet a babolquhoun.
His mother said, “Cholmondeley,
Do you think it quite colmondeley
To feed your babolquhoun with a spolquhoun?” (Via Willard R. Espy.) [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man accused of stealing bongo drums pleads guilty to throwing a shotgun into a pond. Your move, Florida [Dumbass]

Friday 9 February 20:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » New higher-speed passenger train hits 4th person in a month. At this rate we'll never be able to talk about train control. Fark: He survived [Florida]

Friday 9 February 20:35:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » California may start requiring a cancer warnings to be placed on coffee cups. A little bit of an overreaction or a whole lot of an overreaction? [Interesting]

Friday 9 February 20:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » That's no moon [Scary]

Friday 9 February 20:05:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Prominent #metoo supporter accused of fondling softballs at a game [Ironic]

Friday 9 February 19:50:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Here's a good idea: let's replace the driver's license with an app because everyone wants to hand over their unlocked phone to a police officer [Scary]

Friday 9 February 19:35:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Americans, especially young Americans, are having much less sex than just a decade ago. And the rate is dropping faster every year. Why? "Too much Netflix, not enough chill" [Interesting]

Friday 9 February 19:16:37 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » It's time we compiled a list of the most Canadian crimes ever [Scary]

Friday 9 February 19:05:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Sometimes mainstream media does the headline work for us: "Ont. teacher accused of sex with student made 'learning fun'" [Giggity]

Friday 9 February 18:35:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Customer: This chicken is rubbery. Chef: smoke bomb [Weird]

Friday 9 February 18:20:07 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » $7 million Scottsdale mansion to be auctioned online. No minimum bid, maybe your $5 will take this six bedroom, eleven bathroom home [Interesting]

Friday 9 February 18:05:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Polygraph test reveals incredibly rare creatures thought to be a myth: Honest Fishermen [Unlikely]

Friday 9 February 17:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » You may not know that there is a Guinness World Record for most sets of twins and/or triplets in a high school class, but the sophomore class at New Trier HS in suburban Chicago just set it with 44 sets of twins and 1 set of triplets [Strange]

Friday 9 February 17:20:06 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Professor gives student a failing grade on a paper comparing America and Australia, because Australia is a continent, not a country, and also it's the place where Hitler was born [Fail]

Friday 9 February 17:14:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Fake homeowners association files real liens on neighborhood homes after fake bills go unpaid. Bonus, 'HOA' is a company being run out of a federal prison cell [Asinine]

Friday 9 February 16:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Taliban: Let's shoot at those soldiers. US: BRRRRRRRRRRRRT [Cool]

Friday 9 February 16:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Lollipop man banned for high-fives. Man, those guild rules are strict [Strange]

Friday 9 February 16:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » First human eggs grown in laboratory. Scientists nervous, afraid their research will be poached [Interesting]

Friday 9 February 15:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Oh, Fark. Yet another parenting advice article giving out…good information? We are truly in the darkest timeline. Because I used Purple [Interesting]

Friday 9 February 15:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Happy National Pizza Day. Here are the best deals nationwide to celebrate the greatest of all foods known to mankind. And nothing beats a delicious cheese pizza [PSA]

Friday 9 February 15:05:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » At the end of the day Americans could eat healthier. They just don't want to [Obvious]

Friday 9 February 14:50:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Harsh winter can't stop Iowa's running man, who has run at least a mile a day since January 1st 1977 and will outlive every Farker reading this [Cool]

Friday 9 February 14:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The old yellow marshmallow is leaving [Sad]

Friday 9 February 14:20:05 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Utah mom upset after school tells 6th graders they can't refuse when asked to dance. "My daughter keeps coming to me and saying, 'I can't say no to a boy'. That's the message kids are getting" [Asinine]

Friday 9 February 14:05:04 UTC 2018

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Futility Closet » Not Dead Yet

Friday 9 February 14:04:31 UTC 2018

Image: Wikimedia Commons The red-crested tree rat hadn’t been seen since 1898 when one turned up at the front door of a Colombian ecolodge in 2011. It posed for photos for two hours and then disappeared again. “He just shuffled up the handrail near where we were sitting and seemed totally unperturbed by all the excitement he was causing,” said volunteer … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these good boys [Photoshop]

Friday 9 February 14:00:01 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » A tender love story of two vets who met 25 years ago, fell in love, and got married in the veterans home. If you're reading this on Fark, you know there's a twist [Sappy]

Friday 9 February 13:50:05 UTC 2018

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Weird Universe » The McGuire Twins

Friday 9 February 13:32:53 UTC 2018

Many of you might already know about the McGuire Twins, since they appeared on both Family Guy and The Simpsons. But when I realized they hadn't yet been mentioned anywhere on WU, I thought I should correct that.

The two claimed to be the world's heaviest twins. And they probably were. They both weighed well over 700 lbs at their … [Link]

Weird Universe » MONTEZUMA: the Opera

Friday 9 February 13:32:52 UTC 2018

Ambitious failure, or noble travesty? Decide for yourself!

"The opera contains human sacrifice, burning at the stake, stabbing, stoning, rule by terror, cannibalism, a love story, war, homesickness, intrigue, a ritual dance, and the supernatural…[T]he opera's greatest defect is its libretto, a 'farrago of poetasty', which is 'a ghastly example of self-parody that even a Robert Benchley could not have … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ginza public school pressures students to buy new $730 Armani uniforms, which parents suspect is excessive despite the suave Italian tailoring [Obvious]

Friday 9 February 13:05:04 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » There are other problems with trying to police which bathroom trans people use aside from it just being none of your damned business [Cool]

Friday 9 February 13:00:55 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Former Mexican Olympian releases new song at the Olympics slamming Trump [Amusing]

Friday 9 February 12:35:03 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The Asian financial markets took a nice dump [News]

Friday 9 February 11:05:40 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » "Expect more serious convictions and indictments early in 2018 as Special Counsel climbs ladder of criminal culpability – and more panicky, preemptive attacks from Republicans." Well don't hold back there Mr. Blumenthal [Interesting]

Friday 9 February 10:49:36 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Let Bourbon Street be Bourbon Street. Not Sesame Street or Disneyland's Main Street, USA [Obvious]

Friday 9 February 9:10:11 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » The last time DC held a military parade, it was an unmitigated disaster [Obvious]

Friday 9 February 8:46:11 UTC 2018

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GraphJam » Suddenly, Spaghetti Arms

Friday 9 February 8:20:15 UTC 2018

Bar Graph girls impressive jar weak - 4839314944 Graph by: oozemaw Tagged: Bar Graph , girls , impressive , jar , weak Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Goodbyes Are Tender, Poignant Moments

Friday 9 February 8:20:12 UTC 2018

action Bar Graph movies reloading - 4745932544 Graph by: koaieus Tagged: action , Bar Graph , movies , reloading Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Re-Plotted: You Still Better Have Been Inspired

Friday 9 February 8:20:10 UTC 2018

men Pie Chart relationships women - 5258249216 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: men , Pie Chart , relationships , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Essays…

Friday 9 February 8:20:06 UTC 2018

content deadline essays good long paragraph time venn diagram wikipedia writing - 2688986112 Graph by: hahajdu Tagged: content , deadline , essays , good , long , paragraph , time , venn diagram , wikipedia , writing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Makes A Volcano Explode?

Friday 9 February 8:20:04 UTC 2018

baking soda explode Fake Science food coloring red vinegar volcano - 3575357696 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: baking soda , explode , Fake Science , food coloring , red , vinegar , volcano Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Hinges Are Always Made of Frogs

Friday 9 February 8:19:56 UTC 2018

doors life Line Graph noise sound - 4618540800 Graph by: jellybom2 Tagged: doors , life , Line Graph , noise , sound Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Feelings About Being Naked in the Mens Locker Room by Age

Friday 9 February 8:19:53 UTC 2018

adults age au natural Bar Graph locker room men old shy teens young - 2682819840 Graph by: BrianM753 Tagged: adults , age , au natural , Bar Graph , locker room , men , old , shy , teens , young Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Knitted Quicker Picker Upper!

Friday 9 February 8:19:52 UTC 2018

bounty floor paper towel Pie Chart sock spill wipe - 4435656192 Graph by: gadget593 Tagged: bounty , floor , paper towel , Pie Chart , sock , spill , wipe Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When Diagram

Friday 9 February 8:19:51 UTC 2018

future past present venn diagram when - 6544481280 Source: League of Lost Causes Graph by: Unknown Tagged: future , past , present , venn diagram , when Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A sobering statistic from Puerto Rico as 257 residents committed suicide in 2017 post-Hurricane Maria [Sad]

Friday 9 February 8:05:12 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Rob Porter, Michael Flynn, Andrew Puzder, Mark Green, Tom Marino, Sam Clovis, Daniel Alan Craig, Rev. Jamie Johnson, Carl Higbie, Kathleen Hartnett White, Monica Crowley. Extreme vetting needs some work [Interesting]

Friday 9 February 7:25:35 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » Weather storm Mateo to destroy all life in Chicago. Stay safe, warm, and drunk, Chicago-area Farkers [Interesting]

Friday 9 February 3:18:55 UTC 2018

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Fark.com RSS » University Libraries: Hey, we need to get rid our books that people no longer check out. Faculty and students: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE [Fail]

Friday 9 February 0:38:04 UTC 2018

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons