John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: Dorset knob-throwing festival cancelled for 2018 [Sad]

Friday 2 February 23:50:04 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are groundhog days when he see his shadow and there are groundhog days when he doesn't see his shadow. And then there are groundhog days when he attacks a reporter while trying to escape [Awkward]

Friday 2 February 23:35:02 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever the iconoclast, Sir Walter Wally contradicts Punxsutawney Phil, says winter is over [Amusing]

Friday 2 February 23:05:03 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ontario groundhog Willie pokes his head oot his hole & tells up-country degens to give their balls a tug cuz it'll be six more weeks of winter. Big surprise, eh boys? [Obvious]

Friday 2 February 22:35:03 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to stream the Super Bowl, Kitten Bowl, and Puppy Bowl [PSA]

Friday 2 February 22:05:03 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missing woman shows up on "The Bachelor," regrets not staying missing [Dumbass]

Friday 2 February 21:35:03 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oregon man placed calls to airports in Nevada and Texas, reporting his father and brother as terrorists because they got an invitation to a family wedding and he didn't [Dumbass]

Friday 2 February 21:20:04 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked Florida Man caught riding bike in community gym. Apparently, his kickstand was deployed [Florida]

Friday 2 February 21:05:03 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Breakdown

Friday 2 February 20:39:55 UTC 2018

These are called Borwein integrals, after David and Jonathan Borwein, the father-and-son mathematicians who first presented them in 2001. Engineer Hanspeter Schmid writes, “[W]hen this fact was recently verified by a researcher using a computer algebra package, he concluded that there must be a ‘bug’ in the software. It is not a bug, though; this series of integrals really only … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "An employee who was fired from the Spanaway Walmart for allegedly trying to steal a safe returned to the store days later to try to retrieve what he had left in the safe – his drugs" [Dumbass]

Friday 2 February 20:20:05 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baby, it's cold outside [Obvious]

Friday 2 February 20:05:04 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Serial plane stowaway has bizarre outburst in court [Followup]

Friday 2 February 19:50:04 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkish court overturns ruling to release Amnesty chair. Angry chair, slatted chair of woe considering appeals [Interesting]

Friday 2 February 19:20:05 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 7 guys with guns rob phone store near where police are holding training. Bonus crazy surveillance video [Scary]

Friday 2 February 19:05:06 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some African countries are using Trump's sh*thole comments to boost tourism: "We would like to invite you to come to sh*thole Namibia, one of the best sh*thole countries out there" [Amusing]

Friday 2 February 18:35:03 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because of course he does [NewsFlash]

Friday 2 February 18:07:38 UTC 2018

NewsFlash [link] [1616 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smoking in a van full of volatile chemicals, surprisingly a bad idea [Dumbass]

Friday 2 February 17:05:03 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Father accused of dropping 'vaping liquid' into 9-week-old baby's mouth: 'I've done it before' [Asinine]

Friday 2 February 16:50:04 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Archaeologists find pool of water in ancient church but cannot determine what it was used for [Facepalm]

Friday 2 February 16:35:03 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Washroom Infection

Friday 2 February 16:25:43 UTC 2018

In the early 20th century, it was widely believed that dirty bathrooms were a primary cause of the spread of disease, particularly sexual disease. One result of this belief, apparently, was the adoption of U-shaped toilet seats in public bathrooms, since it was thought that these were more hygienic.

Read more about this at The Weeklings.

Life – Sep 20 1937 [Link]

Weird Universe » The Sword and the Dragon

Friday 2 February 16:25:42 UTC 2018

The background info.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michigan senate candidate drops out of race after defending Larry Nassar and questioning the sex life of the judge on his case [Followup]

Friday 2 February 16:20:05 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington Monument to get permanent erection, says National Park Service spokesperson Mike Litterst [Giggity]

Friday 2 February 16:05:03 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Worst. Game. Ever [Scary]

Friday 2 February 15:50:05 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United Airlines tightens rules for comfort animals after peacock denied flight at Newark [Followup]

Friday 2 February 15:46:45 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So what are the animals saying about the Super Bowl? Here are predictions from different critters across the country [Amusing]

Friday 2 February 15:20:05 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dad of three child victims lunges at Larry Nassar during court hearing, forcing recess [News]

Friday 2 February 14:39:45 UTC 2018

News [link] [315 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 14 million Americans will miss work Monday. Or, you know, the NFL could move the game to Saturday [Stupid]

Friday 2 February 14:05:03 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: The world's worst job [Photoshop]

Friday 2 February 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now I know my BAC. Next time won't you sing with me? [Florida]

Friday 2 February 13:49:22 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You always want to be first in something. Except for being the first person charged under Ohio's new anti-bestiality laws [Sick]

Friday 2 February 13:30:07 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't believe that fingering a teenage girl is a necessary part of a scoliosis exam? Maybe you missed the PowerPoint presentation [Followup]

Friday 2 February 13:29:22 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » MAN DIES WHILE HIKING ON ECHO CANYON TRAIL WITH FAMILY… Man dies while hiking on Echo Canyon Trail with family… ᴹᵃᶰ ᵈᶦᵉˢ ʷʰᶦᶫᵉ ʰᶦᵏᶦᶰᵍ ᵒ&

Friday 2 February 13:05:04 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: When arguing with a judge, do not say you are going to bring your .44 magnum [Dumbass]

Friday 2 February 12:27:18 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dog inside™ [Sad]

Friday 2 February 12:05:04 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 48% of high school seniors identify taxes as cause of the Civil War [Fail]

Friday 2 February 11:45:39 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [369 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » IL supreme court unanimously decides that, without a compelling reason, the state can't restrict rights from: (A) sexually liberated women who want to get abortions, (B) child migrants who want citizenship, (C) men who want to carry guns near par

Friday 2 February 10:39:11 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Will Phil see his shadow, ushering in endless winter? Or will he face his fears and the audience? Will Ned Ryerson say BING? I GOT YOU BABE, it's Groundhog Day 2018, all the major networks covering it starting at 6AM ET. LGT livestream [Live]

Friday 2 February 10:30:05 UTC 2018

Live [link] [53 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » What Part Of "I'm Not Interested" Do Telemarketers Not Understand?"

Friday 2 February 9:17:08 UTC 2018

telemarketer understand - 1860142848 LoL by: kd7cb Tagged: telemarketer , understand Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Times I have writer's block

Friday 2 February 9:17:04 UTC 2018

Cheezburger Image 5685728000 Graph by: lithuanian Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » No, Don't Tell Me What You Like!

Friday 2 February 9:16:59 UTC 2018

commercials condoms lingerie mom Pie Chart tampons television - 4249159680 Graph by: Tagged: commercials , condoms , lingerie , mom , Pie Chart , tampons , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Circle of Gas

Friday 2 February 9:16:56 UTC 2018

dinosaur gas oil Sad - 5055528448 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dinosaur , gas , oil , Sad Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Never Ending Cycle of Costing You Money

Friday 2 February 9:16:51 UTC 2018

buying headphones money - 5573864192 Graph by: brony_pilgrim Tagged: buying , headphones , money Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » LOL, How Do I Venn Diagram?

Friday 2 February 9:16:50 UTC 2018

best of week misused Mitt Romney obama politics venn diagrams - 6402232064 Submitted by: Riley (via Upworthy) Tagged: best of week , misused , Mitt Romney , obama , politics , venn diagrams Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where Weirdness Comes From

Friday 2 February 9:16:45 UTC 2018

4chan alaska interwebs Japan mom Pie Chart reality tv wasilla weirdness where - 3029250560 Graph by: kbh101 Tagged: 4chan , alaska , interwebs , Japan , mom , Pie Chart , reality tv , wasilla , weirdness , where Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Getting Paid to Put Up With Other People's Crap

Friday 2 February 9:16:44 UTC 2018

best of week customer serivce jerks Memes Pie Chart retail the customer is always ri work - 6325379328 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , customer serivce , jerks , Memes , Pie Chart , retail , the customer is always ri , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Dare You Enjoy That

Friday 2 February 9:16:43 UTC 2018

memebase Pie Chart sword art - 7990636544 Graph by: CryptonicNova Tagged: memebase , Pie Chart , sword art Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But Mom, "Giant Face-Eating Creatures Part 12" Is On!

Friday 2 February 9:16:41 UTC 2018

good home leaving Pie Chart television TV - 5011621120 Graph by: piggypeace Tagged: good , home , leaving , Pie Chart , television , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Probably Just Helped the Future President Pass Algebra

Friday 2 February 9:16:36 UTC 2018

answers Pie Chart remember school - 4850288640 Graph by: engrishwin Tagged: answers , Pie Chart , remember , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Let's Take the Exact Same Plot, And Make Another Movie!

Friday 2 February 9:16:33 UTC 2018

movies Pie Chart ruining sequals - 5511589120 Graph by: Xerophyte Tagged: movies , Pie Chart , ruining , sequals Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Make My Answering Machine So Long

Friday 2 February 9:16:27 UTC 2018

answering machine message notification phones Pie Chart voicemail - 4234657536 Graph by: sessie01 Tagged: answering machine , message , notification , phones , Pie Chart , voicemail Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When my cat wants attention

Friday 2 February 9:16:26 UTC 2018

attention bathroom cat food pet - 1426388224 LoL by: Unknown Tagged: attention , bathroom , cat , food , pet Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's easy to condemn a petty thief if you haven't walked a mile in his shoes. But it's considerably easier if he's walked a mile in yours and still has them on when the cops arrive [Fail]

Friday 2 February 9:15:37 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "You know it's not true, if someone pees on the bed, where you going to sleep?" [Facepalm]

Friday 2 February 8:35:22 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United passenger finds "forever" ticket from 1998. Since you're reading this, you should know how this didn't turn out [Spiffy]

Friday 2 February 8:16:34 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you plan on going to Gobbler's Knob here are some tips. Missing: Don't drive angry. In fact, don't drive. There's no parking on Gobbler's Knob. You'll have to either walk there from downtown Punxsutawney or catch a shuttle

Friday 2 February 7:54:41 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Passenger restrained with duct tape and zip ties after storming cockpit, apparently after misunderstanding the flight attendant as having said they were also out of coffee [Asinine]

Friday 2 February 7:06:35 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Times headline run through Fark filter after media attention forced Arizona State to cancel fapping seminar [Amusing]

Friday 2 February 6:40:38 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Hint

Friday 2 February 6:15:32 UTC 2018

When Virginia senator William B. Spong Jr. first went to Washington, he worried that the media might mistakenly pronounce his name Sponge. But he observed that his Senate colleagues included Russell B. Long (D-La.) and Hiram L. Fong (R-Hawaii). So in introducing himself at the National Press Club, he announced that the three of them would be introducing a bill … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ugly ass baby sloth born at Denver zoo, will cling to mother for at least 6 months like a recent college graduate [Spiffy]

Friday 2 February 5:39:28 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked bank robber not guilty by reason of insanity, Florida [Followup]

Friday 2 February 4:44:45 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Stupid, arrogant' cyclist (I know, redundant) shouts at train driver after he ignores barriers to stop [Dumbass]

Friday 2 February 4:02:34 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Half Your Base Are Begin To Risk [Interesting]

Friday 2 February 4:00:34 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 10-year-old boy suffers severe allergic reaction to antibiotic, loses all skin, eyes. While unresponsive for 45 minutes, says he saw man in white robe standing in room. Was it God, Jesus, an angel? Who cares? Kid's blind. GoFundMe link in story [

Friday 2 February 3:42:41 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Somebody get the salami and cream-cheese and rub it all over his face! He's unconscious! On the ground! With the mop! That's the story!" [Amusing]

Friday 2 February 3:06:33 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Which fashion brand is having its #MeToo moment? Go on, Guess [Creepy]

Friday 2 February 3:04:41 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If 'penis wiggling' at your offensive neighbor at the beach is wrong I don't want to be right [Giggity]

Friday 2 February 2:28:43 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A tortoise that escaped six months ago has been found, only 1,056 feet from where she escaped [Facepalm]

Friday 2 February 2:17:58 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gates flipped [News]

Friday 2 February 1:33:44 UTC 2018

News [link] [239 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this toy guitar [Photoshop]

Friday 2 February 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How can four people drive a car at once? [Dumbass]

Friday 2 February 0:46:15 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [31 comments] [Link]

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