John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Pizza: Part of this complete breakfast [Spiffy]

Tuesday 30 January 23:50:04 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news: Zion Curtain to keep Utah kids from seeing mixing, pouring of alcoholic drinks reformed. Fark: Now must be Zion Walls [Asinine]

Tuesday 30 January 23:05:03 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What happens when Gramps accidentally bumps the remote off of Fox News and onto the Grammys? An insane letter to the editor [Murica]

Tuesday 30 January 22:50:04 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US Military releases video of Russian jet passing within 5 feet of an American aircraft. Article includes the term "jet wash", but did not indicate if anyone was flipping the bird [Scary]

Tuesday 30 January 22:35:03 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese tits sound the alarm [Giggity]

Tuesday 30 January 22:20:03 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "What kinds of cannabis do you sell here?" "Well, our biggest seller is Blue Screech." "Blue Screech? What is that like?" "Well, it hits you like a runaway car" [Scary]

Tuesday 30 January 22:03:17 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » POTUS' pick for most violent city in America tops best cities poll. Coverage by Daily Mail raises doubts as to the existence of Donald Trump [Unlikely]

Tuesday 30 January 21:49:10 UTC 2018

Unlikely [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fallout from Baltimore police corruption trial continues as cops reveal that they kept toy guns to plant on the unarmed people they shot [Murica]

Tuesday 30 January 21:20:03 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these bathers in the mist [Photoshop]

Tuesday 30 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Facebook users to Facebook: "We don't care if we get our news from Russian propaganda troll pages. We LIKE them that way. Now leave us alone, you deep state lackey" [Followup]

Tuesday 30 January 20:59:58 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [178 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So how much are you betting on the Super Bowl? America will bet about $4.76 BILLION on it [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 January 20:50:03 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » $3.50 hot dog wins a James Beard Award, makes Time magazine and Fark.com. May run in 2020 [Spiffy]

Tuesday 30 January 20:49:10 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chris Pratt to star in first commercial, entirely because he likes beer. Fark handle currently unknown [Hero]

Tuesday 30 January 20:33:25 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man recognized for 100th blood donation. Please give blood. Just not in an old milk jug. Or as a wedding present [Hero]

Tuesday 30 January 20:18:23 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida Man, Florida Man, steal a bar of gold any way you can [Florida]

Tuesday 30 January 20:02:41 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your dentist may soon be talking to you about oral sex. Which is odd, since they know much more about drilling [Giggity]

Tuesday 30 January 19:50:04 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hawaii missile alert supervisor clicked the Add Link button instead of Preview [Facepalm]

Tuesday 30 January 19:42:03 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shockingly, gay man who married straight woman to uphold Mormon values getting divorced [Followup]

Tuesday 30 January 19:29:26 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plane's flight attendants strip down to bikinis, put on "improvised performance" to welcome home national soccer team. For some reason, airline company not OK with this [Facepalm]

Tuesday 30 January 19:16:49 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked and intoxicated burglar in Pennsylvania breaks into a building, and also accidentally called 911 on himself. Your move, Florida Man [Dumbass]

Tuesday 30 January 18:53:23 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » TSA finds record 3,957 guns at airport checkpoints in 2017, mostly from Burt Gummer's carry-on bags [Murica]

Tuesday 30 January 18:41:58 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Listen, and understand. Florida Man is out there. He can't be bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. And he will not stop ringing your doorbell until you shoot him" [Florida]

Tuesday 30 January 18:29:21 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To 'salt' icy roads, some states are using beet juice, molasses, cheese waste, or beer [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 January 18:16:44 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » German tanks were considered the best in the world until they arrived in Syria. This is not a repeat from 1941, so put down that bazooka [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 January 18:03:24 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Need a drinking game for tonight's address? Fill out your State of the Union BINGO card and get your drinks ready [Amusing]

Tuesday 30 January 17:50:04 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Despite what you may have seen on television, officials want you to know that a fighter pilot would not have the callsign "Clown Penis" [PSA]

Tuesday 30 January 17:44:42 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm sorry to disappoint you, but no you can't take a peacock on an airplane [Strange]

Tuesday 30 January 17:32:05 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I used to be a package thief. Then I took a package to the knee" [Amusing]

Tuesday 30 January 17:17:40 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Zhu Bajie, Enlightened Pig Hero

Tuesday 30 January 16:28:38 UTC 2018

Buddhism is full of weird characters. I thought I knew most of them, but only just encountered Zhu Bajie.

Get your $400 statue here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can anybody read what is on this robber's eyebrow and throat in this mugshot? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 30 January 16:05:03 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not content to stand idly by and let millennials have all the fun, baby boomers are killing the early bird special [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 January 15:50:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Operation Decoy

Tuesday 30 January 15:48:00 UTC 2018

In August 1962, New York City cops began patrolling the streets at night while dressed as women. The idea was to trap would-be muggers.

But not all the decoy cops were successful at apprehending the muggers. Patrolman Victor Ortiz got hit over the head by a mugger, lost his gun, and his assailant got away.

Update: Author Erika Janik discusses … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dad delivers baby in minivan. Also may not have thought his choice of t-shirt through [Sappy]

Tuesday 30 January 15:31:43 UTC 2018

Sappy [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Large quantity of meth hidden in fake soda can, Alabama, mug shot. Yep all the boxes are checked [Dumbass]

Tuesday 30 January 15:05:03 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seven-year-old boy led out of school in handcuffs after punching out teacher. Or as they might say in Florida: "Thursday" [Florida]

Tuesday 30 January 14:41:32 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flight forced to make U-turn after issue arises with on-board toilets. If only there were 85 plumbers on board…oh wait [Ironic]

Tuesday 30 January 14:37:59 UTC 2018

Ironic [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amazon, Berkshire Hathaway, and JP Morgan Chase to form Voltron of Healthcare. Though probably more like the Zarquon Empire [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 January 14:37:58 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sydney harbor Ferry McFerryface renamed after embarrassing revelation [Followup]

Tuesday 30 January 14:35:32 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dad, young sons are top-ranked professional cornhole players (snicker) [Cool]

Tuesday 30 January 14:35:03 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drug companies ship 20.8 million prescription painkillers to a West Virginia town in a 10 year period. Difficulty: Town has a population of 2,900 [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 January 14:05:03 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this umbrella crossing [Photoshop]

Tuesday 30 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The authorities are investigating what could possibly be the best nursing home ever [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 January 13:50:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Holy Grail of dinosaurs found in the Egyptian desert. Promptly taunts paleontologists from its perch on the castle wall [Cool]

Tuesday 30 January 13:20:05 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School meant to show children the Paddington movie but instead aired porn, though that was less damaging and terrifying [Awkward]

Tuesday 30 January 13:05:03 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade refuses to get a flu shot as it's only 30% effective. Let's hope this clip doesn't go viral [Sick]

Tuesday 30 January 12:55:33 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [190 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are stupid criminals, and then there's THIS guy [Dumbass]

Tuesday 30 January 12:36:35 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember those "patriotic locals" fighting the oppressive Ukrainian government in Donetsk in 2015? One of their leaders, named Valery Asapov, just happened to die in Syria, wearing a Russian general's uniform while commanding Russian troo

Tuesday 30 January 12:13:56 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pallas cat is back perched over the chamber door [Followup]

Tuesday 30 January 12:03:35 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Christopher Wray names David Bowdich as Assistant Director to replace Andrew McCabe. Bowdich was PD, SWAT, Sniper, Joint Terror Task Force, Anti-Gang Task Force, and is loyal, career FBI. TL;DR- he's Mini Mueller [News]

Tuesday 30 January 11:37:02 UTC 2018

News [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amazon Go is great. Great at wrapping every single item for sale in a death shroud of plastic [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 January 11:19:02 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cockroaches in cars causing crashes [Fail]

Tuesday 30 January 10:04:02 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Buying a home in San Francisco will now cost more than just an arm and a leg, it'll take your kidney, gall bladder and adenoids too [Obvious]

Tuesday 30 January 9:47:03 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Government building evacuated because of: A) Suspicious package B) Suspicious backpack C) Bag of popcorn in the break room microwave [Amusing]

Tuesday 30 January 9:18:02 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » It's Not That Funny

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:57 UTC 2018

chain emails embarrassing flow chart funny - 6508464384 Graph by: (via Shoe Box Blog) Tagged: chain emails , embarrassing , flow chart , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Art of Political Propaganda

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:56 UTC 2018

Political Debate politics political propaganda news karate competition - 6637314048 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Political Debate , politics , political propaganda , news , karate , competition Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Let Them Drink Blood

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:55 UTC 2018

annoying Debates twilight venn diagram - 5200832256 Graph by: sigurdgram Tagged: annoying , Debates , twilight , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Star Wars Family Tree

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:53 UTC 2018

star wars movies Family Tree - 7082424832 Graph by: (via Chartgeek) Tagged: star wars , movies , Family Tree Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Band members who get chicks

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:41 UTC 2018

bands bassists chicks drummers girls guitarists musicians vocalists - 2540657664 Graph by: SukhoiFlanker Tagged: bands , bassists , chicks , drummers , girls , guitarists , musicians , vocalists Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Sure If Trolling

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:38 UTC 2018

dumb troll trolling venn diagram - 4789422592 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dumb , troll , trolling , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh My God, You Minimalized Kenny

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:34 UTC 2018

art characters minimalism - 5331664640 Apparently there are 315 characters here, can you guess them all? Graph by: (via Greg-guillemin) Tagged: art , characters , minimalism Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How I Play Games

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:29 UTC 2018

best of week dungeons horror games video games - 6150501376 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , dungeons , horror games , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Elevator-phobic

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:26 UTC 2018

elevator Death phobia - 7754696960 Graph by: Inpero Tagged: elevator , Death , phobia Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's Just False Advertising

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:22 UTC 2018

books facebook false advertising Pie Chart - 5997622528 Graph by: ostevemgiliksono Tagged: books , facebook , false advertising , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Am I Supposed to Enjoy Being Sick

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:18 UTC 2018

illness Pie Chart school sick days summer vacation - 6365397760 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: illness , Pie Chart , school , sick days , summer vacation Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What's In The Living room of a house with a toddler

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:17 UTC 2018

child children family furniture home kids living room toys - 1663825152 LoL by: aageek Tagged: child , children , family , furniture , home , kids , living room , toys Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And It All Magically Turns To Lint

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:16 UTC 2018

clothes dryer ipod lint Pie Chart pockets receipts washer - 4235759616 Graph by: rx8ball Tagged: clothes , dryer , ipod , lint , Pie Chart , pockets , receipts , washer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Misery Loves Company

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:15 UTC 2018

venn misery company - 7748521984 Submitted by: (via Indexed) Tagged: venn , misery , company Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » No Citations Needed For This Factual Chart

Tuesday 30 January 9:15:11 UTC 2018

infographic Pie Chart - 7835064576 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: infographic , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Australia, even the kangaroos are out to get you [Scary]

Tuesday 30 January 8:24:17 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you sleepwalk, make sure to close the windows before you go to bed [PSA]

Tuesday 30 January 7:05:00 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Current Events

Tuesday 30 January 6:45:38 UTC 2018

Image: Wikimedia Commons “Squaring the square” refers to tiling a square with other squares, each with sides of integer length. In a “perfect” squared square, like the one above, each smaller square is of a different size. The Cambridge University team that first sought perfect squares found a novel way to go about it — they transformed the square tiling into … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember that same sex couple who thought they found a loophole in Russia's recognition of gay marriage and ended up charged with damaging their passports? They've now had to flee the country [Followup]

Tuesday 30 January 6:18:04 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two on duty cops eat pot edibles raided from dispensary, start hallucinating then call for backup. Bonus: One of the responding cops injures himself during the "rescue". That's some fine police work, Lou [Facepalm]

Tuesday 30 January 5:48:05 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nicest booty you'll see today (SFW) [Giggity]

Tuesday 30 January 3:51:11 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DUI suspect drives for another block on three wheels after crash, tells bystander "don't tell them I was texting" [Asinine]

Tuesday 30 January 3:50:04 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » See lion roaming the streets of Oregon. Oh sorry, sea lion roaming the streets of Oregon. Oh sorry again, did this joke last week [Strange]

Tuesday 30 January 3:10:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nearly half of Colorado pot users polled admit going to work high, according to auto sales app with no polling, marijuana use expertise [Fail]

Tuesday 30 January 2:56:50 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because fark that article from Sunday, that's why [Florida]

Tuesday 30 January 2:33:47 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Usually in an accident involving money scattered all over a highway an armored car is involved, not a hatchback carrying an illegal slot machine [Strange]

Tuesday 30 January 2:30:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ƃuᴉpuɐl pooƃ ɐ sᴉ ɯoɹɟ ʎɐʍɐ ʞlɐʍ noʎ ƃuᴉpuɐl ʎu∀ [Scary]

Tuesday 30 January 2:26:11 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pool Noodle owner looks exactly as you'd expect [Creepy]

Tuesday 30 January 1:50:04 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anthem to ER patient: Sorry, being doubled-over in excruciating pain with suspected appendicitis isn't really an "emergency," so you're now on the hook for $12,000. Share and Enjoy [Sick]

Tuesday 30 January 1:30:10 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [291 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I think I shall never see something as dumb as a bike in a tree [Dumbass]

Tuesday 30 January 1:10:04 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: A new kind of flavor for bubble gum [Photoshop]

Tuesday 30 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's R&B / Soul Night on Paul's Memory Bank tonight at 8PM ET [Live]

Tuesday 30 January 0:30:12 UTC 2018

Live [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Perhaps 17-foot pythons should never have been placed in kids' petting zoo [Fail]

Tuesday 30 January 0:30:04 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Archive

23 Apr 2024  22 Apr 2024  21 Apr 2024  20 Apr 2024  19 Apr 2024  18 Apr 2024  17 Apr 2024  16 Apr 2024  15 Apr 2024  14 Apr 2024  13 Apr 2024  12 Apr 2024  11 Apr 2024  10 Apr 2024  09 Apr 2024  08 Apr 2024  07 Apr 2024  06 Apr 2024  05 Apr 2024  04 Apr 2024  03 Apr 2024  02 Apr 2024  01 Apr 2024  31 Mar 2024  30 Mar 2024  29 Mar 2024  28 Mar 2024  27 Mar 2024  26 Mar 2024  25 Mar 2024  24 Mar 2024  

No Comments

0 responses so far ↓

  • There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.

You must log in to post a comment.